So, hello again…welcome to the post-secret baby conspiracy world. Hmm…first of all, thanks so much for the reviews, and for saying you didn't mind the length. I love hearing what you guys think. I more than love it. I adore it, I double love it, I infinity love it, I love it enough to marry it. (I am five.) But yes, I'm so glad people are enjoying this story, and liked the end of the conspiracy. And are worried for Mer and the baby! Because yes, we should be worried…

Anyway, this chapter picks up right where the other one left off. Now, I feel I should point out I'm not a doctor. (Um…duh, clearly, obviously, etc.) But yes, not a doctor. And, my fancy medical advisory staff for this chapter? Wikipedia and good ol' Google. So yes, my point is, there is a fair amount of medical stuff in this chapter. Much more than what I usually include (which would be zilch) as I tend to gloss completely over that stuff. But yeah, it's kinda needed here. However, it's fuzzy medicine. I may have occasionally bended my findings to suit what I wanted in the story… So, if you know a lot about medical stuff, and this chapter makes you want to laugh and laugh and roll about on your floor and laugh some more, I do apologize. I tried. Very hard. (Just remember exhibit A, where we all learned I'm actually not a doctor. Shocking! Hee.) And yeah, that's about it. I've never done a chapter like this one before, but be assured, the next one will be back to stuff I know how to write about without needing to have another window open to continually look up things. And yep…enjoy!

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Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
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"So…you're my doctor," said Meredith quietly, her voice suddenly shy. She knew she was stating the obvious, but, right then, she couldn't think of anything else to say. Barely two minutes ago, when Derek had told her, it hadn't sounded that terrifying. Addison as her doctor…she could handle that. It wouldn't be so bad, and it would apparently be best for the baby. Somehow, Derek had even made her smile about it. Somehow…she couldn't remember how anymore though. All she knew was that the prospect of Addison examining her suddenly seemed horrifying, paralyzing even; the sort of idea so daunting that she barely even noticed the intense ripple of pain passing across her stomach. It was an insignificant twinge next to the sight of Addison leaning against the doorframe, her perfectly parted hair swishing slightly as she nodded, her attention trained on reading the chart the nurse had already started. It didn't matter how good of a doctor she was, Meredith was sure this was a bad idea. It had to be, because Addison had barely entered the room, and she already felt as if she were shrinking. She felt pathetically small and hopeless laying there in bed, dwarfed by the glaring white room around her. This was wrong and awkward and unfair and a thousand other things that shouldn't be happening. Only keeping up an insistent chorus of "It's best for the baby," inside her mind stopped Meredith from curling into a ball of pain--from begging her to go away and just bring Derek back, to please…bring Derek back. But she couldn't ask Addison for Derek… Meredith forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat, and watch as Addison walked forward across the room. Her heels seemed to echo loudly throughout the small space, pounding out every step that brought her closer, her figure looming into something more and more intimidating.

But, as she reached the bed, Addison simply nodded again. "I am," she agreed at last, settling easily down into the chair that waited there, and crossing one long leg over the other. Her voice was calm and utterly casual--every movement unbearably normal--as if Meredith were just another patient. As if the baby in question were just another baby, and not her husband's child. It left Meredith feeling even more overwhelmed, to lay there and watch Addison remain perfectly poised and unaffected while she herself felt as if her skin were crawling from the sheer painful awkwardness of what had only just begun.

"Okay," she mumbled hopelessly, and at that, Addison looked up from the chart, her eyes locking with the younger woman's. As they did, Meredith suddenly realized that Addison didn't think this was normal at all. Her eyes were the precise opposite of her calm demeanor; deep pools of sadness mingled with doubt and a kind of quiet horror. It was riveting in an unpleasant sort of way, and they both just stared at each other, their minds racing wildly, but volunteering nothing. As if frozen, neither looked away until Meredith was forced to. She found herself wincing in pain again, her hand flying to her stomach and her teeth biting hard into her lower lip.

"Right," said Addison, her voice sharp as Meredith's cry served to snap her out of her undesired reverie. "Dr. Grey…I need you to describe the pain for me, as best you can."

"The pain?" gasped Meredith as she gingerly rubbed the aching curve of her stomach. Addison simply nodded expectantly. "Umm…it comes and goes," she mumbled, staring down at the bed to avoid locking eyes a second time with Addison. "Everything gets really…tight, I guess. And it's just intense and uncomfortable." She ran a finger along the frayed edge of the hospital gown she'd been helped into by the nurse, trying to remember what she had wanted to say. "Oh…" she added at last, and as she looked up suddenly, the dizzying rush that filled her head would have served to jog her memory if she hadn't already figured it out. "And I'm dizzy. But, that was worse before."

"Before?" echoed Addison.

"Umm yeah. Before, when I was standing up. In the hallway…" Meredith's voice trailed off awkwardly as she thought back to just what had happened in the hallway. Her face flushed, and she promptly stared down at the bed again. However Addison just cleared her throat, giving another brisk jerk of her head.

"Okay then," she said, shifting slightly in her chair. "Those would be contractions."

"Right…contractions," echoed Meredith helplessly, letting her head fall back to rest against the pillow behind her. She suddenly felt as if crying might be a nice option. However, she figured crying in front of Addison had a place right at the top of the list of things she could do to make this even more humiliating than it already was. She bit her lip, wishing Derek could've stayed. Then she could have cried freely. Although, Meredith had a hunch that if he had stayed she would feel fine. Well, not fine so much as simply not teetering on the thin line between controlled and hysterical the way she seemed to be at the moment. Forcing herself to take a deep calming breath, Meredith noticed how awkward the silence had become, and instinctively moved to say something--anything--to break it. "You think I would've realized that," she muttered at last, her voice quickly growing frustrated and bitter. "Seeing as I'm a doctor."

That seemed to affect Addison somehow, because, for the first time since she had come into the room, her tone softened…not a whole lot, but the change was noticeable. "It's different when it's actually happening to you," she said quietly as a hint of a reassuring smile ghosted across her face. Happening to her… None of this was supposed to be happening to her. She was a doctor--programmed to think of herself as existing only on the other side of the invisible line between patient and caregiver. She wasn't supposed to be lying there in a bed, potentially losing her baby. At the thought of her baby, Meredith promptly forced her mind to shut down, refusing to let herself contemplate any possibility other than the baby being fine. She tried to answer Addison instead, but could only nod, her eyes wide and helpless as she stared up at the ceiling. "And you're dizzy?" continued Addison suddenly, her voice becoming brisk and businesslike once again.

The reply was a strangled little moan of agreement. "Yes…"

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Umm…" Meredith found herself grateful for the distraction provided by the question, and closed her eyes, racking her brain for the answer. It certainly hadn't been today. "Yesterday," she remembered at last. "Around seven o'clock I think."

Addison frowned--eyebrows arching inward together as her lips disappeared into a tight little line--but she made no comment, simply continued with her questions. "Have you had anything to drink? Any water?"

"I had a Coke," Meredith admitted, her voice growing guilty as she watched Addison's frown deepen. "When I was on-call last night."

"I see," said Addison, suddenly closing Meredith's chart with a sharp snap. "On-call so that means no sleep, practically no food, and no water. Grey, please don't even ask me why you're having contractions." Her tone was annoyed and frustrated. Meredith wasn't sure if she could call it angry, but it seemed fairly close. And so she just nodded her head, a low guilty moan escaping her lips as she turned her head to face the wall, blinking back the sudden strong threat of tears. "Nurse…um, your name?" continued Addison, spinning about in her chair towards the nurse that was still hovering in the corner of the room.

"Angela," supplied the woman.

"Right. Angela," said Addison, casting a glance back at Meredith. "We need to get her hydrated immediately. Start a peripheral IV with a saline drip." The nurse simply nodded and left the room, leaving Meredith alone with Addison as her stomach tightened painfully again, her breathing growing shaky as a result. "Breathe Grey," continued Addison as Meredith shuddered, gasping in pain. "Slower than that," she corrected sharply. Meredith's eyes flashed with a bright spark of annoyance as she finally caught her breath.

"I'm trying," she stammered, suddenly feeling defensive.

Addison frowned, looking as if she were about to snap at her, but after a moment, her expression relaxed somewhat. "I know they hurt," she said, and Meredith just nodded, her hand still clutching her stomach. "But the calmer you can stay, the better it will be for your baby. So try as hard as you can to just keep breathing evenly…through the pain. Can you do that for me, Grey?"

"Yes," murmured Meredith meekly, meeting Addison's eyes for a split second before looking away again.

"Good. Now, can you tell if there's a pattern to the contractions, or if they're sporadic?" asked Addison, suddenly standing up and walking across the room.

"Huh?" Meredith shook her head uncertainly, her attention caught on the sight of Addison retrieving a pair of gloves from the box mounted on the wall, and pulling them easily onto her hands as she turned back around. She adjusted them--the sharp snap of latex filling Meredith's ears--before she spoke.

"Is there a rhythm to them," continued Addison, her eyes growing sharply inquisitive. "Can you predict when they'll come at all?"

"Oh…no," moaned Meredith, her hair creating a soft rustling whisper against the pillowcase as she shook her head. "I can't. They just seem to come out of nowhere."

"Okay," said Addison simply. She walked back over, her black pointed heel coming down hard against the peddle attached to the bed. Meredith winced as the surface beneath her shifted, gradually transforming into a low sloping seat.

The scant reply made her nervous, and Meredith found herself once again filled with the disconcerting feeling of forgetting all that she knew about medicine. "Is sporadic…" she stammered as Addison eased her legs up for her, slipping them into the stirrups on either side of the bed. "Is sporadic bad?"

The sound of the nurse coming back into the room, cart full of necessary instruments in tow, gave Addison the chance to look away for a moment--nodding her head in greeting. She forced herself to take a deep breath, once again biting back the impulse to snap at Meredith. It would be so easy to lash out at her; and she seemed to be continually battling the desire to just go ahead and thank her with as much bitterness as she could muster--which, at the moment, would be a hell of a lot--for ruining whatever shred of a chance there had been for saving her marriage. But, at last successfully swallowing the urge, she turned back around. And as she did, part of the impulse died altogether due to the simple fact that Meredith looked utterly terrified. She was wincing in pain once again; face pale and eyes haunted, arms cradling her belly almost desperately.

"Addison…?" she pleaded as soon as she could speak again.

Addison cleared her throat, shaking her head slightly. "No…Meredith," she said slowly, finally using the woman's first name. "A pattern would be much worse. A rhythm to it suggests labor, which is what we're trying to make sure you're not in."

"Okay," whimpered Meredith, the tension in her face lessening ever so slightly. "No pattern…no labor…" she murmured to herself, her fingers dancing across her stomach as if to reassure her baby. "That's good."

"It's good," agreed Addison. "But, I won't know if you're in labor until I check if you're dilated."

Meredith's face flushed instantly. "Oh. Right," she said quietly, staring up at the ceiling.

"You know, just in case this wasn't already awkward enough for you," continued Addison, with something that almost came close to sympathetic amusement in her voice.

But Meredith found she could only groan. "Seriously…"

She turned her head away, staring with what she assumed must appear to be some sort of twisted masochistic fascination as Angela took her arm and prepared to start the IV. However, the truth was that watching the nurse search for a suitable vein gave her something to concentrate on beside the utterly uncomfortable and disconcerting sensation of having Derek's wife leaning forward between her legs. Satan…McWife… She didn't want to think about that. Meredith bit her lip, staring even more intently at the sight of the hollow needle moving towards her skin. Just as the tip punctured the vein--as if cruelly timed by fate--another wave of pain accosted her stomach and she flinched, her arm moving reflexively away from the nurse. The needle slipped and she let out a small yelp as she watched the blood bloom beneath her skin, forming a large perfectly oval bruise.

"Relax Grey," said Addison sharply, even as Meredith hissed in pain. "What I need is for you to stay calm, remember?"

"Yes," mumbled Meredith, her voice guilty and apologetic. "Sorry." She forced herself to take a deep breath as the nurse apologized as well, moving the tourniquet to a new position on her arm. And this time, nothing caused her to flinch. She stared with wide eyes, not even caring about the simple pain of the needle moving slowly and certainly into her vein. It was nothing. Painful, but such a little thing. She felt as if she would gladly take a thousand such needle sticks, if it only meant her stomach would relax, stop tightening…stop terrifying her. That was a sort of pain she had never understood before; something deep and fearsome that had her crying out more from the agony of uncertainty than the actual physical hurt. And even as she thought about her contractions, another one hit her, and she had to fight desperately to just keep breathing evenly and not give into the desire to burst into tears.

"Good," came Addison's voice, filled with a gentleness Meredith had never heard before. "You breathe Meredith." She just nodded her head, eyes screwed tightly shut as Addison's voice washed over her and the soreness faded away. When it passed and she could open her eyes again, it was to the sight of the other woman snapping her gloves off and disposing of them at the far side of the room. She blinked in surprise--realizing that she had been so caught up in the pain that she hadn't even noticed Addison standing up.

The memory of what she had been doing came rushing back, and Meredith felt herself fill with apprehension. "Am I…?" she began tentatively--her voice small and uncertain--already dreading the answer and what it could mean.

"No," interrupted Addison, a strange almost strained smile crossing her face. "You're not dilated."

A soft whoosh of air escaped past her lips as Meredith let out a breath she hadn't even realized she had been holding. "I'm not?" she echoed disbelievingly, pure relief filling her body.

"You're not."

"That's a good thing…"

Addison nodded her head, crossing back over and sitting down in front of the bed. "It's a very good thing. It means we can relax a little." At that, Meredith's head hit the pillow and she closed her eyes, her hands running reassuringly over her stomach. She took a deep breath, smiling for the first time since Derek had left to go to surgery. When she opened her eyes again, Addison was watching her hands as they trailed lovingly over the curve of her child, a curious almost blank expression on her face. Meredith's hands stilled instantly and Addison looked up, the two women staring at each other uncertainly for a moment. Slowly, Meredith pulled her hands from her stomach, trying to decide if it was pain she saw in Addison's eyes or something else entirely. But before she could figure it out, Addison cleared her throat and turned away--the air in the room feeling suddenly cold.

"Um…" began Meredith awkwardly. "What do we do next?"

Addison looked back up again, a tightlipped smile firmly masking the medley of emotions that had been on display just a minute before. "An ultrasound," she said simply, tucking her hair back behind her ears. "To check and see if anything beyond exhaustion is causing your contractions. Since you're not dilated, ideally they should start lessening on their own…now that you're resting." Meredith nodded earnestly, letting herself sink a little deeper into the angled folds of the bed. "While contractions this early aren't unheard of," continued Addison, a sudden frown flickering across her features. "They're supposed to just be painless, or uncomfortable at worst. And they usually go away after a bit of rest. However, yours are clearly quite intense and painful, so…"

"They don't hurt that much," volunteered Meredith determinedly, wanting to reassure herself that things were perfectly normal despite the fact that Addison had been with her the whole time--seeing every grimace, hearing every cry.

Addison simply raised an eyebrow, her expression growing stern. "Yours are clearly quite intense and painful," she repeated.

"I…" began Meredith, only to have her words cut short by yet another pang in her stomach. Her breath came in a sharp hiss--her fingernails digging into the palms of her hands. When she looked up again, Addison's raised eyebrow had arched even higher.

"Dr. Grey," she said, her voice suddenly flat and annoyed. "Telling me you're not in pain when you are isn't going help here. I need to know."

Meredith found she could only nod meekly, intimidated by the sight of Addison standing up to tower over her, her pale blue eyes clearly irritated. "Okay," she admitted. "They hurt…" She chanced a wary smile at Addison, but the other woman simply nodded sharply.

"Put your arms behind your head," she stated, and Meredith obliged; moving her right arm easily, but lifting the left--with its stinging IV needle and large bruise--more gingerly. She watched in silence, her face blank and expressionless as Addison and the nurse moved to set up the ultrasound. She was biting her lip nervously, trying not to mind that this was the first time she was seeing her baby; that she was still too terrified to feel properly excited about it, and kept wincing in pain every so often as they finished setting up the machine and smoothed the gel across her stomach. It almost felt surreal, as if she were watching from some distant place as the probe was placed against her bare belly and the display screen flickered to life in scratchy black and white. The image seemed to swim before her eyes, and she found herself too caught up in the spasms of pain that passed through her stomach to decipher what she was used to reading with a natural ease.

"It's alive…right?" she heard herself ask at last in a thin desperate voice, still feeling very much as if she were watching from far away. At that, Addison turned and fixed her with a puzzled frown.

"Yes," she said simply, clicking a nail against the image on the screen. "It's moving about. Can't you tell?"

"Right," murmured Meredith softly, a single tear running down her cheek. She turned and wiped it on the pillowcase, feeling suddenly grateful that it was on the side of her face opposite Addison. "Yeah…good," she continued, shaking her head and staring blankly at the screen. A tortured gasp escaped her lips as another twinge shot sharply across her stomach, and Addison turned back once more to stare at her.

Her eyebrows were still drawn into a frown as she asked, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah…I just," began Meredith, her voice light and breathy. "I had…" Addison was nodding expectantly, and Meredith heard her voice falter, some of the anxiety she had been trying so desperately to control spilling out and making her shudder as she spoke. "I hadn't seen the baby before," she stammered at last, shaking her head. "And now…I can't even see it now." Her voice turned into a sad distressed moan as she turned back and blinked once more at the screen, adding, "Every time I try to…it hurts again, and I can't…" She trailed off, her teeth sinking hard into her lower lip to keep herself from crying out as her stomach tightened painfully once more.

"Hey," said Addison, her voice curiously soft and gentle. "You breathe Meredith. You breathe. That's all you need to do." Meredith nodded her head, biting back the complaint that what she needed was to see her baby. But almost as soon as she had swallowed the thought, Addison was speaking again, adding, "And watch my hand." She stretched her arm out, laying a single finger gently against the screen. "That's its head," she said as she traced her finger slowly along the curve of a tiny little skull. "And there's a shoulder, and two little hands…it's got them in fists. See?" Meredith nodded again, her eyes desperately following the path of Addison's finger as it outlined the length of the child. Although she was still breathing heavily, she started to relax a little; the image shifted from a confusing muddle into something both familiar and almost unbearably beautiful. "That's your baby," concluded Addison at last, taking her eyes from monitoring the screen for a moment to cast a glance back at Meredith.

Meredith was still nodding her head, her gaze fixated on the image of the tiny fetus, a weak but definite smile lighting up her face. "Thank you…" she whispered softly, tiredly--feeling her exhaustion once more now that she had calmed down somewhat. Addison just gave a single jerk of her head in response, her attention already back on the screen. "Is everything…" Meredith paused mid-sentence, gasping as her stomach tensed sharply again, her breathing escalating rapidly until she remembered and forced it back to normal. "Is everything alright?" she asked at last, her voice wavering as she spoke.

"I'm still checking," replied Addison, watching the screen intently. "You just relax though. I want your contractions to stop on their own if possible, and the best chance of that happening is through you resting." Meredith nodded obediently, trying not to be alarmed by the knowledge that they hadn't yet lessened in the slightest. She simply focused on the sonogram, staring raptly at the image of the baby. Of her baby…Derek's baby. Their baby. And suddenly, Meredith realized just how cruelly unfair this all was to the woman beside her.

"I'm sorry…"

The words simply slipped from her lips. They had both refrained from mentioning the fact that this wasn't normal; this wasn't a clear cut line of doctor and patient. Things weren't purely clinical and easy. It was a painfully tangled web ensnaring them both, and, even before Meredith had referenced it outright, that fact had hung heavily in the room. But, as the words left her lips, things changed. Addison tensed visibly, her fingers tightening around the probe as her posture straightened…grew almost rigid. She moved her head ever so slightly, but didn't turn around. For a long time she didn't even say anything, simply left Meredith laying there feeling awkward and uncertain.

But then she finally spoke…just one word, and it danced that careful border between a demand and natural curiosity. "Why?"

"Um…" began Meredith, pausing to swallow the lump in her throat. She wasn't sure why she was doing this when she could easily just remain silent. She could just lay there and stare at the ultrasound, and pretend that things were normal. But, everything was a world away from normal. She couldn't even be happy about seeing her baby because, in the back of her mind, there was this whirling white noise that she thought might be the sound of absolute terror. And now that she'd opened her mouth and acknowledged how far from perfect all this was, she couldn't seem to hold back. Even so, her voice was a soft and quiet whisper. "It's my fault you found out like this," she murmured, biting her lip anxiously. "I…uh…asked Derek not to tell you."

"Oh…" Addison closed her eyes, and let out a small almost strangled laugh. "What…ignorance is bliss?"

"Um…we…" stammered Meredith, countless apologies waiting just behind her lips. But, before she could speak, another strong biting wave of pain passed through her body, and everything she meant to say was swallowed up beneath the sound of her groaning in agony. When she had recovered, the words had been forgotten, and she found herself giving voice to the first thought that popped into her head. "That's what I thought when you showed up."

Addison finally turned around then, one eyebrow raised and a hand on her hip. Her mouth hung open for a long time--her eyes bright yet unsure--as if racing through a long list of possible replies. In the end she just smirked, and the expression was both amused and sad. "Ah so this is payback? Satan finally gets what she deserves?"

"No," said Meredith at once, her reply coming out in a horrified gasp. "That wasn't what this was. I just…" Her voice trailed off and she shook her head, trying to find a way to explain. "I wanted him to be certain," she said at last.

"Certain?" echoed Addison slowly, and Meredith saw the look of confusion gradually slide of her face to be replaced by an expression of perfect comprehension. "Oh…" she said, and her voice was soft and heartrending. "You mean he was going to leave me."

"I…" began Meredith awkwardly, but Addison shook her head, suddenly laughing.

"No, that does sound like him. Probably offered almost the second you told him right?" Meredith simply shrugged and looked away, but Addison seemed to see an answer in that small gesture. "I thought so. Derek can be painfully noble," she murmured, sounding almost as if she were speaking to herself instead of Meredith. She had returned to the ultrasound screen, but, after a moment, she let her gaze wander back to Meredith as her eyebrows knit together in a sudden intense expression of curiosity. "But wait, let me get this straight," she said sharply, her voice almost disbelieving. "You made him stay?"

Meredith turned slowly back around. She was starting to wish she had never started this conversation. Derek was…there was just no good way to discuss Derek with Addison. It was stupid to even try. Meredith looked up warily, studying her face. She was expecting anger or frustration…something hostile. But strangely, Addison's eyes weren't exactly angry. They were filled with a sort of painful curiosity stretched over a deeper layer of sorrow, and Meredith realized that Addison wanted…maybe even needed to hear the truth from her. And so she nodded, her voice coming out in a whisper. "Until he's certain… I don't want to be with him as just his obligation."

For some reason, Addison smiled at that. It wasn't a large smile, but there was a flicker there…as if of sudden understanding. "You're more interesting than I thought, Meredith Grey," she said, and the tone of her voice was not quite proud, but…appreciative in an odd sort of way.

They stared at each other for a moment; for the first time both of them simultaneously keeping their gaze unguarded. However, before either of them could come up with anything to say in order to propel their strange conversation on for a little longer, Meredith drew in her breath sharply, arching her back as another wave of pain stretched across her stomach.

"Careful," said Addison at once, stepping firmly back over to the other side of the line--letting herself disappear behind the veil of professionalism, and revert to being only the doctor. "Slower…breathe deeper," she coaxed as Meredith whimpered in pain, freeing her hand from where it had rested behind her head to instead grasp at her side. She just nodded, her lips trembling softly. "Okay, no talking now," continued Addison firmly. "I want you to close your eyes and see if you can try to sleep."

Meredith let out an incredulous snort at that. "Seriously?"

Addison sighed and shook her head, her lips drawing into a thin line. "I don't mean you'll actually be able to sleep. But trying to will help. I want you to get that calm, your body needs…"

"They're not stopping, are they?" interrupted Meredith, a note of panic edging its way into her voice.

"We can wait a little longer," said Addison gently. "Just relax."

But Meredith shook her head fiercely, struggling to sit up straighter. She knew that tone; that soft pacifying way of speaking to blunt the sharp edges and sugarcoat everything. Shaking her head again, she ignored Addison's continued suggestions to just relax. She couldn't. They simply seemed to be giving the fear within her a more and more pointed and painful edge. "Don't," she stammered, her voice shaky and pleading. "Don't talk to me like a patient…please. I'm a doctor. You have to…you have to talk to me…"

"Okay," interrupted Addison quickly, alarmed at how agitated she was becoming. "I'll talk to you." She hesitated for a moment, not fully understanding the sudden pang of sympathy that passed through her as Meredith gratefully nodded her head. Instead of letting herself contemplate it, she took a deep breath, and forced herself to just continue. "I was hoping that they would've stopped on their own by now. Or, at least started to lessen…"

She frowned at Meredith, and the girl gave a slow nod of her head. "But they haven't."

"They haven't," agreed Addison. "If they don't soon, I'm going to have to stop them."

"Okay," whimpered Meredith, biting her lip as she felt another sharp twinge in her side. "Shouldn't we just…go ahead and do that now?"

"No," said Addison immediately. "I want to avoid giving you the drug if possible. It can easily cause complications on its own, so…" She gave Meredith a stern look, her lips still caught in a thin line. "Rest. Just lay there and close your eyes and breathe. The baby's not in distress, which means we can give it a little longer."

Meredith just nodded obediently, not knowing what else to do. She laid back down, trying to ignore the way her eyes burned with hidden tears as she closed them. Her breath shuddered past her lips; a soft shaky sound. She wanted to relax, but the only thoughts that agreed to stay within her mind were all uniformly terrifying. Abstract ideas seemed to somehow take physical shape, contorting into images straight out of nightmares. And as she tried to sleep they taunted her, pointing out that if the contractions didn't stop, if she lost the baby--if anything happened to the baby--she could only blame herself. It would be her fault…all her fault. She whimpered and closed her eyes tighter, as if that might silence her thoughts. But it didn't. All Meredith knew was a constant rotating wheel filled with the fear of loss, guilt and bottomless uncertainty. She almost wished Addison would just start yelling over Derek, or the baby, or…anything, really; then she could fill her ears with accusations and blot out her own haunting thoughts. However, the only reprieve granted her from her racing mind was the distraction caused by the waves of pain that passed through her stomach, making her whimper and occasionally cry out. And they were no help. Meredith was trying to ignore them; pretending that they were going away.

She lost track of how long she lay there; drifting through the pain and thoughts that were both dark and terrifying. It felt like forever…or a stretch of time that simply was incapable of being measured. However, the soft shuffling silence that had existed for so long was broken suddenly by the sound of Addison's voice. She spoke in a low murmur to the nurse--as if not to disturb Meredith--but the sound yanked her back hard into reality and out of her thoughts. She kept her eyes closed, just listening as Addison spoke, asking, "Angela?"

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd?"

"Is there any Terbutaline in that cart?" Her question was followed by the sound of things being shifted, of someone searching, and finally an answer in the negative. "Right," continued Addison quietly. "Then I need you to get me some immediately."

Meredith's eyes flew open as the nurse agreed, and her footsteps echoed quickly out of the room and down the hall. "What?" stammered Meredith, looking up uncertainly at Addison.

Addison simply smiled reassuringly at her--and that alone was disconcerting. "Keep resting just like you're doing," she said, her voice calm and measured. "I'm going to go ahead and try to stop the contractions."

But resting suddenly became impossible as Meredith felt a wave of blind panic well up within her. "Try?" she echoed weakly.

"Yes. They're intensifying instead of slowing down, and so I need to stop them."

Meredith just shook her head fiercely. "No," she stammered, her eyes wide. "You said try. As in you might not be able to? What happens if you can't stop them?"

"Let's try to stop them before we worry about that," said Addison calmly, her eyes glued to the scratchy image of the baby.

"No," gasped Meredith as her body contracted in pain again. The reawakened fear seemed to make the sensation that much sharper, that much more intense, and she moaned, twisting away to her side as her shoulders shook slightly. "No…" she stammered again, her breathing heavy. "If you can't stop them, that'll be bad."

It wasn't so much of a question as a statement, but still it begged for an answer. Addison found herself closing her eyes as she nodded her head. "Yes," she said quietly.

"As in?" pressed Meredith, her voice thin and desperate. She didn't know why she was asking. She knew what would happen if they didn't stop, but for some reason, she had an overwhelming tormented need to hear it out loud. Addison finally turned around and looked at her, staring down at Meredith's strained and ashen face.

She sighed heavily; knowing that she was simply stating the obvious, but finding herself unable to keep from complying with the woman's wish. "Your exhausted, and if they keep up this intensely, your body won't be able to handle it. You'll end up going into labor."

"Preterm labor," corrected Meredith in a small voice.

Addison nodded sadly, agreeing, "Preterm labor."

"Right…" muttered Meredith as her body seized up again--tight and painful--and she curled inward in shock, a shaky cry escaping her lips. Her hands were clinging desperately to her stomach, and when she finally opened her eyes again, the nurse had returned. She felt as if she were suddenly caught up in a whirlwind where she was frozen, and yet a thousand things were happening all around her, much too quickly for her to focus on. Blinking helplessly, she watched as they attached her to several monitors instead of just relying on the ultrasound. Her heartbeat and her baby's flickered suddenly into something visible as they both pulsed across screens in the bold neon lines of an EKG. The Terbutaline was pushed into her through the IV, and she tried to listen to Addison's voice as she told her not to worry…that everything was going to be okay. However, Addison's gaze never once left the monitors, and that fact alone made the uncertainty Meredith was feeling tighten into something much, much sharper. She wanted to relax and stay calm, to help the baby. But, she felt herself choking on fear; as if the emotion had somehow turned into something cold and thick and slimy, that filled her throat and made it impossible to breathe.

And then Meredith turned her head towards the door, and literally couldn't breathe anymore.

The nurse had forgotten to shut it when she'd returned, and, just beyond the open doorway, a swarm of people had gathered. Some were lingering, some just passing by, but every single head was turned towards her. Meredith felt herself growing faint as the buzzing noise of their voices leapt out of the background and became something concrete. She could hear her name flitting from mouth to mouth…her name and Derek's. Every word spoken seemed to come out scandalous and full of things she thought were secret, and it hit her in a rush. Now everybody knew. Everybody. And, in that moment, it was just too much. She cried out in pain, and when it passed, she couldn't seem to gasp a single breath of air. She felt as if she were dizzy, shaking and falling apart, and everybody was watching her.

Addison turned around in alarm, looking up from the monitor to focus on Meredith, when she herself noticed the growing crowd beyond the room. "Angela, close the damn door," she snapped, reaching over and taking the ultrasound probe back from the nurse.

"Oh," gasped the woman, turning around in astonishment. "Of course. Sorry."

"Meredith, it's okay," said Addison quickly, but Meredith just shook her head, her chest rising and falling violently. "Calm down. It's going to be fine."

"No," she stammered, practically choking out her words. "Everybody…knows. Nobody was…it was…" Suddenly, everything was wrong and everything hurt. She wanted to hide away and fold into herself, to turn into something small and unnoticeable. Only it was too late. Everybody knew, and nobody was supposed to know… Meredith shook her head, losing what little air she had started to inhale when another burst of pain filled her stomach, and she gasped and started sobbing.

"Whoa…" came a sudden voice--loud and displeased--filling the air before the nurse had time to make it to the door. "What the hell are you people doing? This girl is not your entertainment." Meredith blinked rapidly, trying to focus on the familiar sound even as her lungs felt like they were burning. "Now you've all got three seconds to disappear before I have you doing her post-op notes for the rest of her internship!" A short figure appeared briefly in the doorway, reaching out to close the door from the outside, when Addison looked up again from where she had been bent down, trying to comfort Meredith.

"Miranda?" she called, and Bailey nodded, poking her head into the room. "You've heard?" she asked, gesturing towards Meredith's shaking form.

"The whole hospital's heard," said Bailey sadly, shaking her head. "Gossip travels too damn fast here."

"Then do you think you can help me calm her down?" continued Addison as Bailey made her way into the room. "She's nearly hyperventilating, and she's your intern, so maybe…" Addison paused as an awkward grimace crossed her face. "I just don't think she finds me all that calming," she added.

"Of course," agreed Bailey immediately, trading places with Addison--freeing her to return her attention to the monitors. Meredith simply blinked up at her, still breathing in hard ragged gasps. "Grey," continued Bailey, sinking into the chair beside her intern. "Can you hear me?"

"Dr. Bailey…" managed Meredith, her voice coming out thin and breakable.

"Yeah," she said gently. "That's good. That's me."

Meredith just shook her head violently, moaning in pain again. "You know," she gasped at last. "I'm sorry…I just…" She swallowed hard, trying to speak through the strange combination of sobs and gasps that were shaking her small frame. "You know…everybody knows."

"Shhh," insisted Bailey. "That's okay. Just breathe…slow, deep breaths."

"It was a secret," moaned Meredith, her green eyes darkening frantically. "Nobody was…and now everybody…" She trailed off, her voice turning into a series of gasps filled with the words everybody and nobody.

"Meredith," said Bailey, reaching out and grabbing her hand. "It's okay. It doesn't matter that everybody knows." She shook her head, her eyes sharp and irritated as her eyebrows drew together in a frown, adding, "Don't you worry about the damn fools talking out there." Meredith swallowed hard, trying to focus on Bailey's words--to give herself something to cling to beside the slick and overwhelming wall of fear she had been thrown against. "Just think about the baby," continued Bailey, her voice low and reassuring. "It needs you to breathe, okay? Can you do that? Just slowly…in and out…"

Meredith nodded her head, trying to force herself to slow down despite the fact that she could feel her heart racing, pounding violently against her chest. She took a deeper gasp of air, holding it briefly before letting it out again. She felt as if she'd forgotten what normal breathing was like. Now, the air tasted like her tears, and came in short bitter bursts that burned her throat almost unbearably.

"That's good," soothed Bailey, as her intern finally started to shake a little less. "Keep breathing Meredith. Just like that."

Meredith nodded her head, but let out a sudden gasp that escalated quickly into a tortured cry. She felt as if she were filled with a splintering strangling pain, sharper and colder than anything she had felt before; as if she were melting into a world that was pitch black and filled with nothing save for agony. "Derek…" she wheezed desperately, using her first breath to call for him as her nails dug angry half circles into Bailey's hand. "Where's Derek?" she spluttered, utterly losing her ability to breathe slowly, and simply sobbing through the pain, the sounds twisting into his name. "Derek…I need…I…" She gasped for air but couldn't seem to find any, the ragged sounds of her breathing drowning out everything around her. But as the pain finally lessened, she found herself focusing in on Addison's face, and guilt welled up again alongside everything else. "I'm…sorry," she stammered, shaking her head. "I didn't mean…that. He can stay in sur…he can…I…"

"Shhh it's okay Meredith," said Addison, despite the dull ache that had filled her at hearing another woman cry out so desperately for her husband. "It's okay. We just need you to breathe, remember?"

"No, I can't," moaned Meredith. "I'm sorry… No breathing…I can't…I…" She started coughing, choking on her own sobs, as her body tried instinctively to curl into a ball as if mimicking the pose of the child within her.

"Put her on oxygen," said Addison abruptly, her voice urgent as she stared down at Meredith's wide almost unseeing eyes. Bailey nodded and moved to slip the mask over Meredith's face, as Addison turned back to the nurse. "Push 8 of Diazepam," she ordered.

"You're sedating her?" asked Bailey as the nurse fiddled with the IV.

"No choice," said Addison simply, her attention once again riveted to the monitors, frowning as several began to beep wildly. "She's raising the baby's heart rate drastically. The drugs aren't even going to have a chance to work if I don't." Bailey nodded again, watching with an apprehension she wasn't used to feeling as the sedative was pushed in through the IV to quickly flood the intern's body.

Meredith shuddered and cried out, and then suddenly…just blinked, staring blindly up at the ceiling. She thought she felt a hand running through her hair--soft and soothing--and something cool being pressed against her feverish skin. She wasn't sure though. Somehow, despite all her gasping and convulsing, she felt air making its way into her lungs. It burned angrily, but it was there, and she no longer felt as if she were choking--about to drown. The thick oppressive wall of pain that seemed to originate within her abdomen and spread wildly from there was lessening--dulling and drifting away. Or maybe it was she who was drifting away… She wasn't sure. But something was drifting, and the room seemed to be growing lighter. She blinked again, lazily this time, watching with quiet amazement as the room was swallowed up in a pure white light, and the voices around her became muted echoes she couldn't properly hear. Suddenly, everything was simply soft and not so scary, and all Meredith knew was that she was suspended there in the midst of some sort of faded world.

The two women beside her breathed a collective sigh of relief as she finally stopped trembling, and her expression grew blank and distant. The violently beeping monitors returned to their normal rhythms, and Addison looked down, surprised to find herself holding Meredith's left hand nearly as tightly as Bailey held her right.

"There, there," said Bailey soothingly, stroking Meredith's hair with her free hand. "You're okay. That's right. You're fine…" Aside from the low murmur of Bailey's voice--speaking to her intern as if she were a little girl--the room was almost deathly silent. There was nothing save the sound of breathing, and the low, thankfully rhythmic, beeping of the monitors. They sat like that for a long time, until Addison finally let herself relax somewhat, and turn away from continually watching the various screens surrounding Meredith. "How's she doing?" asked Bailey quietly.

Addison sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Better," she said, sinking back into her chair. "The contractions are lessening. Now I've just got to watch, and hope they stop altogether."

Bailey nodded slowly before looking up from Meredith, and across the bed to study Addison's face. "And how're you doing?"

Addison's face just twisted into a puzzled frown. "Huh?"

"Are you okay?" she continued, her head tilting slightly towards Meredith's visibly swollen stomach.

"Oh…" Addison hesitated, letting out an anxious peal of laughter. "No," she said at last. "No…I'm not okay." She bit her lip, staring down at her hands before adding, "But I think I'll feel better once I go home and…break some of Derek's fishing rods." Bailey didn't say anything--simply nodded her head solemnly--and Addison's expression grew quickly alarmed. "That was a joke," she added hastily. "I was joking."

But Bailey just looked up, and gave her a quiet reassuring smile. "Wouldn't blame you if you weren't," she said softly. Addison seemed to relax at that, sighing and returning her attention to the monitors once again. Bailey glanced back at Meredith's silent form, giving her hand one last squeeze, before rising to her feet. "Unless you need anything else, I've got to go and talk to my interns. They've all managed to turn themselves hysterical over Grey."

Addison shook her head slowly. "No. I'm good here," she said. "Go talk to them. They've got a strange sort of family…those interns."

"That they do."

"All of them loyal to Grey," she continued almost wistfully. "And apparently now, so am I." She let out a sad bark of a laugh as she jerked her head towards the tiny scratchy image of her husband's child, and the monitors she was still watching carefully.

Bailey sighed, and straightened out her lab coat. "Yeah well, you're doing your job," she said. "We're doctors, that's what we do. Our damn jobs, no matter what." Addison just laughed and nodded her head.

"Yeah…" she agreed, her voice quiet. "About those interns," she continued suddenly, turning around before Bailey made it out the door. Bailey looked back and nodded expectantly. "Let them know they can't see her yet. If she's going to be okay, she needs to have nothing upset her for awhile. Give her body the chance to regain some strength for once. And her friends are…" She trailed off, shrugging her shoulders.

"A loud bunch of fools," supplied Bailey. "Don't worry. I'll keep the idiots at bay."

The two women smiled at each other, simultaneously nodding their heads. And then Bailey disappeared out the door, leaving Addison to settle back in her chair, her eyes glued to the monitors.

-----

And yes, lots of Meredith and Addison together. Because that's about the most awkward combination of people I could put in a room alone together. And they have an okay time of it…sort of. Addison is there to be the doctor, and so, even though she occasionally has moments where she just really wants to be a bitch, she does her best to hold off and just take care of Meredith. So yes, don't worry…Satan didn't have a master plan to kill both the baby and Meredith. And Meredith, well…she's a lot of things in this chapter, and none of them are her normal self. She's in pain pretty much continually, and she's aware of just how awkward it is to have Addison as her doctor. It would always be awkward to have Addison as her doctor, but to have her as her doctor just after the end of the conspiracy? That reaches seriously new levels of awkward. So, along with Mer's fear and pain, she also has a lot of guilt mixed into things. So much so that, even after she just starts asking for Derek because she's terrified and in agony, she tries to take it back because Addison's right there, and how does she ask Addison for Derek?

And, on top of her Addison issues, Mer realizes that everybody is going to be talking about her again. Is already talking about her again. This whole secret she built up has completely come crashing to an end, and when she catches a glimpse of the people already gossiping about her, it hits her and is very overwhelming, and you know…makes her freak out more. Which is not such a good thing. And Bailey was there, to yell and just be Bailey-ish about everything. But she doesn't yell at Mer, because obviously…not a good moment to yell at the poor girl. And she's worried about her intern, so she comes and helps out Addison, and is also a bit worried for Addie too, since she got hit with the fact that her husband is having a baby with someone else, and then in the next breath was told she had to go save said baby and other woman. And yeah, that's a lot for someone to handle. But Addison does it, and, for a moment, she even comes to think of Mer as more than just the stupid slutty intern who's obsessed with her husband. Because, she finds out Mer sent Derek away when she could've had him. And, honestly, even if it made a giant mess, it was pretty much the opposite of what she thought Mer would do. That's about it for now. Thanks so much for reading!