So…this update took a little longer than I wanted it to. Blame that on the evil, evil college I had to go back to yesterday. Winter break is over. And that? Makes me sad. However, I will still try to update regularly, but if it's a day or two longer than usual…please do forgive me. Apparently, just writing fic does not make me a responsible adult. I must instead do calculus homework and other such delightful things. Clearly, the world has its priorities wrong. But yes, back to the actual story. First of all, thanks so much for reading and reviewing. As usual, I'm nine kinds of thrilled to hear what you guys have to say. Glad to hear people enjoyed the Mer/Addie. There's no Addison in this chapter, but there will be some coming up soon, because…well, she needs some resolution of her own after what she had to go through. However, this chapter? Straight to Derek. Which I think is a good thing, as people were wondering where the silly boy had wandered off to.

Anyway, I'd say that we're about two thirds of the way through the story. Roughly. I'm estimating here. And it should be noted, that I am quite crap at math. Fractions especially. So much so that I have a special cheating calculator with fraction solving abilities. But yes, originally I'd thought this story would be around twenty chapters. However, I expanded several scenes into their own chapters as I went along…hmm which ones were they? We do wonder, don't we? (We probably don't, but you know…Shhh. Let me dream here.) Anyway, consequently we are in a higher chapter number than I thought we'd be for where we are in the story, and we still have a ways to go. However, the remainder of the tunnel is fairly light. It's lacking the cobwebs and the rain and the giant rats that chew on your toes. Basically, it's the largely lighter part of the story, with some (shocked gasp!) fluffier stuff in it. Soo…if people don't want the fluff and stuff, do point that out. I can easily whittle it down to bring us to the inevitable conclusion that much faster. Umm…so if anyone has a preference, do point that out to me. Pretty please and all that.

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I should not have hid where my heart can't follow
Cause this grace gets too far, and too hard to swallow
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Derek barely knew where he was walking. He was vaguely conscious of the fact that he still had his scrub cap on, and that his hands were still damp from scrubbing out of surgery. But they were small distant thoughts, things he was barely aware of. He could hardly recall the surgery he'd performing. He was positive he hadn't even bothered to thank the other surgeon for coming in and taking over. All he knew was that he was staring at Meredith's room--the last place he'd seen her--and she wasn't there. The room was empty. A freshly made bed in the middle, its folds crisp and untouched, didn't hold the woman he had expected to find there. Whirling around, he felt himself fill with a blind panic as he tried to figure out why the room was empty. Derek turned again, and started to charge back down the hall. He wasn't sure what he was doing or where he was going. All he knew was that he had to get to her, and that she had to be okay. He accosted the first familiar figure he laid eyes on.

"Where is she?" he demanded desperately, reaching out and stopping Bailey as she walked by. "Where's Meredith? Where'd she go?"

Bailey frowned at the grip he had on her arm, but her expression softened when she looked up and caught sight of the fear held clearly in every line of his face. "They moved her to another room, where it's quieter," she said, her voice uncharacteristically gentle and reassuring.

Derek nodded his head, the blue of his eyes still drenched with worry. "Which room?" he asked immediately. "I have to go see her."

"Uh uh," replied Bailey just as quickly, shaking her head. "Not right now."

"Yes, now," insisted Derek, his voice filling easily with frustration. He had never spent a more miserable four hours in surgery in his life. Every move of his hand had been torture. Every small sound seemed to have her name buried in it; a strange secret that hissed inside his mind. Every agonizing second inside the OR had been filled with thoughts of Meredith. It wasn't simply that he wanted to see Meredith. It was this all consuming need to see her; the sort of thing that seemed to rate above even breathing. "Where is she?" he repeated loudly.

Bailey folded her arms over her chest, her frown returning as she looked at him. "I can't tell you that. If I do, you're going to be a fool and go barreling straight into that room."

"What?" spluttered Derek, quickly losing what little hold he had on his patience; shaking his head furiously, his voice full of annoyance and utter disbelief. "I need to see her now."

"No. You don't need to see her now," continued Bailey, somehow managing to usher him into a conference room and close the door. "You can't see her right now. Nobody can. And you especially can't see her like that." She gestured towards him, referencing his continual pacing and the wild light that seemed to radiate from him.

However, her words stilled him. As she spoke, Derek froze, then slowly rotated back to face her, his eyes growing wide and terrified. "Why?" he asked, and his voice was just a ghost of a whisper. The sudden privacy of the conference room felt strange and unsettling to him; making him fear the worst. He had promised himself all through surgery that Meredith would be okay. But now, he felt as if his legs were shaking, close to trembling violently; he simply sank down into a chair, lacking faith in his own ability to stand. Leaning forward, Derek buried his head in his hands, his usually strong voice turning into a broken plea. "Is she okay?" He swallowed hard, looking back up at Bailey. "She has to be okay. Please…"

"She's okay," agreed Bailey gently. And as she answered him, Derek found he couldn't even speak to reply. He was caught up in a feeling too all encompassing to leave room for simple speech; the heavy leaden feeling that had weighed him down for the past several hours was rapidly rushing away. He felt almost like a shell of himself, but it was a good emptiness; finally lacking in fear and full of something light and dizzying…something like hope.

"She's okay," he repeated at last, and the words had a beautiful sound to them; a perfect melody that brought a smile to his lips. Meredith was okay. His Meredith was fine. His heart stopped splintering into a million pieces, and the room stopped reeling quite so violently. But after a moment, the sweet feeling of relief drained away, and he looked back up at Bailey. "The baby?" he asked tentatively, his eyes once again widening in apprehension as she sat down beside him. He felt cold, his voice nearly breaking in two as he spoke. "Miranda…is the baby alive?"

"Yes," said Bailey, grabbing his shaking hand and stilling it between her own. "It's alive. Meredith's alive. Derek, they're both fine."

"Okay," he whispered, taking a deep shuddering breath as his head fell forward to rest in his other hand. He didn't say anything for a minute, but simply sat there breathing in long shaky gasps. It was the first time he had truly breathed since he had seen Meredith slide to the floor, and he felt as if a great wave of tension were shivering away and leaving his body. When he finally looked back up, Bailey was watching him intently. "They're fine?" he repeated, simply wanting to hear confirmation again.

And Bailey nodded her head. "They're fine. But Meredith's asleep, and she needs to stay that way. She's very weak, and--for now--is not to be disturbed by anyone who isn't actually on her case." Her voice was firm, leaving no room for dispute, and Derek finally relented with a rough nod, finding himself able to agree now that his whole body wasn't a single knot of fear and worry.

"Okay," he said slowly, sinking back into the leathery support provided by the chair beneath him. "Just…what happened?"

"She was having contractions," said Bailey quietly, her expression growing solemn. "They should've been nothing worth worrying about, but the poor child was stressed, dehydrated and exhausted. That just exacerbated them, and started to push her into preterm labor." Derek nodded his head, his eyes dark and pained as her words washed over him. "But Addison was able to stop the contractions, and she's currently stable."

"Currently?" he echoed, a frown drawing quickly across his face.

Bailey just sighed and nodded her head again, thinking back to the sight of Meredith writhing in pain. "It took a full 35mg of Terbutaline to finally get them to stop," she said wearily. "Addison can't up her dosage any more than that without risking severe tachycardia. So she's sleeping, and she needs to stay calm and give her body a chance to fix this itself."

Derek swallowed hard, his voice still far from its regular confidant tone. "If she rests, she'll be alright? They'll both be alright?"

"They should be."

"Okay," he said quietly, repeating the word over and over to himself. "Okay…" He took another deep breath, burying his face in his hands, and groaning in disbelief; simply overwhelmed by all that had happened. Derek stayed like that for a long time, holding himself in one piece by pure force of will, until his breathing finally became normal again, and he noticed the reassuring press of Bailey's hand against his arm. Meredith and their child would be okay. They had to be. He'd make sure they were okay. "Okay," he repeated one last time, feeling as if the word were starting to lose its meaning. Running his hands roughly over his face and back through his hair to pull off his scrub cap, he looked up again, a glimmer of his normal self returning to his features.

"You alright?" asked Bailey inquisitively, leaning forward to peer up at him.

Derek smiled and nodded his head. "Yeah."

"Good," she continued, settling back in her chair and folding her arms over her chest. Her voice swung instantly from understanding to annoyed, and she frowned at him, adding, "Now, maybe you can tell me what possessed you to be so damn stupid."

Derek just blinked at her. "What?"

"Oh, don't 'What?' me," continued Bailey, shaking her head. "I'm not even talking about the whole mess you've created with the very fine woman who happens to be your wife." Her frown deepened and her voice grew incredulous. "I just want to know how you possibly thought you could sit back and let Grey work a thirty-six hour shift."

"I didn't…" began Derek, but she promptly cut him off.

"No. That girl is pregnant. There is no way she should have been working thirty-six hours straight," she said, her voice tinged with frustration. "She shouldn't even be on a twenty-four hour shift. But thirty-six? That is just insane," she continued, speaking in a disbelieving hiss.

Derek sighed heavily, shaking his head. "She said she was okay," he said quietly. "She always said she felt fine…" He swallowed hard, his eyes growing guilty and his voice a bit desperate, as he added, "And everything was so complicated. We weren't talking, we… She always said she was fine." He trailed off, shrugging helplessly. "Miranda, it's complicated," he repeated at last.

"Then uncomplicate it for her," she answered flatly. Derek started to protest, but she raised a hand, shaking her head. "No, no," she continued, her voice sharpening. "Look, who you choose to live with is your business. But Grey is carrying your child. Have you been there for her once? Have you done a damn thing beyond asking her if she's fine?" She looked expectantly at Derek, but he just sat there in silence, eyes closed. She let out a disbelieving snort, and turned away from him. "When that girl collapsed, she hadn't slept in over thirty hours. She is seventeen weeks pregnant, and hadn't let herself sleep in over thirty hours. That is not fine. She is not fine. Not about any of this. She is young and alone and terrified."

"But Meredith wanted it to be a secret," said Derek blankly, staring down at the table with hollow eyes. "She didn't want anyone to…"

"Yes, I noticed that," interrupted Bailey, shaking her head sharply. "She went hysterical when she realized everybody knew. The whole damn hospital talks about that girl because of her relationship with you, and it is hard on her. You are older than her, more experienced…you should know better. And she deserves better from you. Not only are you the father of her child, you are her boss. Maybe her friends couldn't have stopped her from putting herself through this, but you could have." She looked back up at him, her expression utterly disbelieving. "And you didn't," she added quietly.

Derek nodded slowly, unable to think of a reply. When laid out flat like that, the truth was simple. He had failed Meredith. He swallowed hard, feeling an oppressive wave of guilt and sorrow suddenly well up within him, leaving him completely speechless.

Bailey was staring uncomprehendingly across the conference room, her face expressionless save for an elusive tint of horror in the dark depths of her eyes. "She almost lost her baby," she continued, her voice vague and distant; almost as if she were speaking to herself, trying to process everything she had just witnessed. But her words drew a strangled moan from Derek's lips, and his head dropped forward again, coming to rest in the palms of his hands. The harshness she had been regarding him with faded somewhat at the sound, and she turned back to him, shaking her head. "I'm sorry," she said, an uncharacteristic note of apology filling her voice. "It's your child as well."

"No," interrupted Derek, rising suddenly from his seat. He shook his head, and began to pace the room once more. "Don't apologize. I deserve to feel bad about this." His feet tread long heavy steps across the carpeted floor, covering the small space quickly and repeatedly. With every step, his mind was racing, trying to combat the overwhelming sense of guilt he was feeling within himself, but finding it impossible. Finally, he stopped walking, and turned to face Bailey again. "I have to fix this," he said simply.

"I'm sure the women in your life would appreciate that," she replied with the faintest trace of a smirk highlighting her features.

Her words brought the memory of Addison rushing back as well, and Derek groaned as he remembered what he had put his wife through. "I just was…" he began, about to try and explain further, but he paused and shook his head. As he did, his mind zeroed in on his future. "Meredith first," he said simply. There wasn't anything else to say. "Meredith has to come first."

He couldn't tell if Bailey approved or disapproved of his sudden statement; her only response was an impassive nod of her head. Slowly, she pushed back her chair and got to her feet, but as she did, she cleared her throat. "3312," she said quietly.

"3312?" echoed Derek a moment before he realized what Bailey was referencing. "Her room number?" he continued, earning himself another nod from her. His face split into a grateful smile. "Oh you're a wonderful woman Bailey," he said, starting toward the door. "Thank you."

"Hold it," she snapped, promptly side-stepping him. He turned to grin at her, but faltered when he caught sight of her expression. "When you go in there, you will not be an idiot," she said forcefully. "You will not upset her. You will not toy with my intern in any way. She physically cannot handle it right now. Understood?" Derek froze at the almost threatening burst of force in her voice, and simply nodded his head.

"Yes…" he said quietly.

"Good." She smiled to herself, turning and opening the door.

Suddenly, Derek found himself feeling apprehensive, and he hesitated, looking back down at Bailey. "She will want to see me…right?" he asked, his voice full of an utterly atypical insecurity.

Bailey just scoffed at that, walking out into the hall. "And now you're trying to piss me off by deliberately being an idiot." She shook her head sharply, shooting him a final smile. "Grey was screaming your name."

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Derek wasn't sure just how long he waited outside of Meredith's room. Time seemed to have lost all meaning, day and night didn't matter. All he knew was that soft light that filled the quiet hallway he stood in; his footsteps echoing hollowly as he paced back and forth. Bailey was right. They had moved her somewhere much quieter--onto a private wing to provide her some sort of seclusion from the hospital gossip while she recovered. Still, the hallway seemed to brim with secretive whispering voices, and there wasn't a person that passed by who didn't glance at either Derek or the carefully closed door or both. But he barely even noticed. His every thought was trained on Meredith, until finally…finally, the door opened. He looked up expectantly as the nurse came shuffling out.

"Dr. Shepherd?" she asked in a quiet voice, beckoning him forward with her hand.

"Yes," he said immediately, crossing over to her in a single long stride. "What is it?"

"Dr. Grey's still asleep, but she's starting to stir a little. She'll probably be waking up before too long, and it would be good for her to see a familiar face when she does. So, if you want to go in…?" She held the door open slightly, tilting her head toward the darkened room beyond.

Derek just nodded, not wasting time on a further reply. He moved past her through the doorway, and the nurse closed the door behind him, leaving him alone with Meredith. For a moment, he didn't move; simply stood there as his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit space. And as they did, his breath caught, and he felt his heart drop. She looked so small. He walked with painfully slow steps towards the bed; afraid to disturb her in the slightest. The bed dwarfed her, turning her into this fragile little wisp of a person; both as beautiful and breakable as glass. Derek's breathing was low and ragged as he stood there, staring at her through pained eyes. Even with the heavy veil of sleep covering her, he could see how exhausted she was--her face pallid and worn. His eyes traveled slowly over her--taking in the fetal heart monitor still strapped resolutely around her stomach, and the IV needle feeding into her slender arm. Her arm had an angry bruise on it right beneath the IV, and he couldn't help but wince at the visual representation of her pain, despite the fact he knew it was probably the least of her worries. She seemed almost lost surrounded by all the wires and monitors that kept track of her baby's life and her own heartbeat, and Derek choked back a cry as he sank down to sit in the chair beside her bed. Meredith's hands were folded tenderly over the round curve of her stomach, and he smiled slightly at that, reaching out and brushing his hand against hers.

She didn't stir, and so he slowly let his hand drift from where it had hovered atop hers down to rest against her stomach. He drew in a deep shaky breath, his eyes turning dark and reverent. It was a strange wonderful feeling; knowing the baby lay just beneath his hand, inside of her. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against her stomach and their child. And suddenly, Derek felt as if he were caught up in a spiraling twist of emotions; pure relief and awe, guilt and regret, pain and love. He couldn't remember the last time he had really cried, but now there were tears spilling freely down his cheeks and onto the blanket that covered Meredith. He shook his head, trying to stop them, but finding it impossible. "Be okay," he murmured at last, speaking in a low voice to the baby. "Please be okay… Just rest, and don't hurt your mother." He sighed shakily, his voice wavering as he rested his head gently against the side of Meredith's stomach. "You have a wonderful beautiful mother, and…you're going to grow up to be as wonderful and beautiful as her." His words grew almost inaudible, turning into a sad murmured song to the child; full of love and apologies, and promises to them both that he swore he wouldn't break. And eventually, the words were lost completely, and Derek could only weep. His tears spilled silently down his face as his hand rested protectively over their child. He lost track of how long he lay there; feeling as if he were simultaneously drowning in grief over what he had almost lost and yet filled with something more precious than air because he hadn't. But eventually, Derek felt Meredith stir beneath him, the slender fingers of her small hand running gently through his hair.

He turned to find her blinking up at him, her expression soft and confused. "You're awake," he murmured, reaching out and tracing his hand down the curve of her face. Meredith lifted her hand towards his in response, slowly threading her fingers with his.

"Derek…" she mumbled groggily, sounding heavy with sleep and barely above a whisper.

"Yeah," he answered as his face broke out in a smile. "Shhh, you're fine. You just rest Mer."

"Okay," she agreed, still somewhat dazed from the sedative. She took a slow heavy breath, her hand drifting from his to press against his cheek. Her eyebrows twitched together curiously as she did, and she pulled her hand away, a frown drifting across her face. "You're crying," she observed quietly. "Why?" Blinking rapidly, she tried to clear her mind of the thick fog that seemed to have settled over all of her memories. "Why are you crying?"

"It's nothing," he replied, pulling the back of his hand roughly across his eyes.

"No," she said slowly, her expression growing more and more troubled as she looked about the room, trying to figure out what had happened. "Derek, I…" But her voice trailed off as bits of what she had been through came flashing vividly back to her. "The baby?" she gasped suddenly, her eyes widening as she struggled to sit up. All she could think of was that Derek was crying, and something had been wrong with their child; and that alone was more than enough to terrify her.

"Mer," he began, but she shook her head sharply.

"No. Why are you crying?" she demanded. "Did I lose…did the…is the baby…?" She couldn't bring herself to say what she was afraid of, and was halfway to sitting up, when Derek slid over to sit beside her on the bed, enveloping her in his arms.

"Meredith, Mer, Meri…" he tried, struggling to get her to listen to him through her sudden panic. "Mer…easy, it's okay. The baby's okay." He ran his fingers through her hair as she crumpled against him, clinging desperately to the fabric of his scrubs. "Everything's alright." But Meredith just whimpered in response, shaking her head violently. "Look," he continued, his voice low and calming. Taking her hand in his, he pulled it gently from where it clutched at his scrubs, bringing it down to lay against her stomach. "The baby's there," he murmured, his voice a quiet whisper in her ear. "You're both fine. See Mer? I promise, you're both okay." She nodded, but kept her head buried against his chest, and so he pressed his hand firmly over hers, holding it against their child. "That's good…just breathe. Everything's alright."

Meredith nodded again, slowly pulling away to look up at him. "I didn't lose the baby," she stammered at last, her voice a broken gasp of a sound.

"No," agreed Derek immediately--his words full of a gentle force--shaking his head and smiling softly at her. "You didn't." And at that, she fell back against his chest, crying from pure and overwhelming relief. "You didn't," he repeated, and he lowered her backward so that she was laying down again. Meredith clutched at him, scooting over and pulling him down to rest beside her.

"I was so…" she stammered, her voice tiny and full of tears. "So afraid." She shook her head, chewing on her lip as her face grew rapidly tear streaked.

"I know," he murmured, pulling her closer and pressing his lips to the top of her head. "I know. So was I Mer."

"I thought the baby… It hurt so much," she sobbed, her voice turning into a low moan. She let his arms encompass her completely, burying her face against his neck, holding on to his loose dark curls. His voice was a consistent comforting murmur as his hands ran up and down the length of her back, and finally she stopped stammering as his words soothed the trauma of the morning into something she could swallow and breathe after.

"I know," he whispered again as they lay there, foreheads touching; the remnants of their tears still streaking their faces and lingering in the corners of their eyes. Slowly, he reached out and lifted a strand of her hair, twining the long golden length loosely around his finger. She smiled at that, her eyes filling with their usual bright warmth, and he found himself wondering how she could possibly look at him with such love and happiness after he had left her alone for months.

"Derek?" she asked, suddenly wary as she read the change in his expression. "What is…?"

"I'm sorry," he breathed, cutting her off as his eyes darkened to a deep shadowed navy. "I am so sorry Mer."

Her response was a puzzled apprehensive frown. "You're sorry?" she echoed quietly.

"Yes." Derek nodded, his fingers still trailing through her hair. "I left you when I shouldn't have." She started to protest, but he just shook his head, and moved his hand to press a finger gently against her lips. "I did," he repeated, shifting slightly so that he was staring straight into her eyes. "I knew there was nothing left to save in my marriage. That it was dead and all I wanted was to be with you, and still…I went. I left you alone…" His trailed off, shaking his head disbelievingly.

"Derek…" she managed. "It's okay. I…"

"No." He pulled Meredith even closer to him; almost as if he feared she would vanish if he lifted his hands from her for a single second. "It's not okay," he whispered. "I should have never left your side. But I did, and then instead, I what…I yell at you?" Derek's voice grew incredulous and full of anger at himself as he remembered shouting at her the day before; her tiny form trembling in front of him as he yelled. He groaned and closed his eyes, wishing he could take back everything he had done wrong. "What if that's why the baby…? What if that's why?" His voice cracked, and his hand drifted down to press against her stomach.

"Derek," she repeated, shaking her head. "It's not your fault. I was being stupid."

"No," he whispered, opening his eyes again. They stared at each other intently, both faces full of pain. "You're perfect Meredith," he continued softly. "You're beautiful and perfect, and you save me every time. Over and over you save me, and…I've always just let you fall. You deserve better."

"I…" she began apprehensively, unsure of how to respond to his statement. She frowned softly, her expression growing suddenly thoughtful. Reaching out, she pressed her small hand over his trembling larger one, and slid it lower, to the far side of her stomach. "Feel that?" The words were low and enticing, and as Derek stared into the pale green depth of her eyes, he felt something shifting and stirring beneath the palm of his hand.

"Yes," he whispered in amazement. "That's…"

"It's moving," she supplied.

"It's moving," he echoed, his voice still muted and wondering. "The baby's moving."

Meredith shook her head, suddenly grinning at him. "Our baby," she corrected.

"Our baby," he agreed. Impulsively, Derek raised himself up on an elbow, his hand still lingering over the baby as he bent down towards her, capturing her mouth with his own. It was a soft kiss, as if he were afraid to break her, but Meredith just moaned and arched up towards him as she parted her lips, bringing him deeper into her mouth. Her hands tangled in the curls at the base of his neck, and when they finally pulled away, she kept them there--holding him just above her. They stared at each other in silence, and Derek was pretty damn sure that, despite the hospital gown and the monitors and the IV, she had never looked more beautiful. "I'm in love with you, Meredith Grey," he said softly, pressing another quicker kiss to her lips before she had time to answer. "And you are not doing any of the rest of this alone, okay?" he continued, eyes darkening as his voice grew solemn.

Meredith just nodded her head. "I would like that," she murmured quietly. "To not be alone…" Her mouth was parted slightly, still warm from his lips, and she stared wide-eyed up at him.

"You won't be alone," he whispered, his fingers dancing wonderingly along the edge of her cheek. "I promise you, I will always be there."

"Okay," agreed Meredith in a small quiet voice, nodding her head. She sniffled and wrinkled her nose before smiling at him. "You're going to make me cry again," she continued warningly. "I cry all the time now. Seriously. It's pathetic."

"No. No more crying," said Derek immediately, his voice filling with concern. "Only happy thoughts. You have to stay calm for the baby. It needs you to rest."

"Rest…" she echoed, rolling the word slowly in her mouth. If she thought about it, her whole body was sore, and she still felt weak and worn out, as if she were hovering continually just beyond the verge of sleep. "Yeah," she mumbled in a soft voice, nodding her head. "I am tired."

Derek smiled, his hand stroking her hair. "I know. Sleep then, Mer," he urged gently. He settled back into the chair beside her bed--giving her more room to spread out--but not wanting to move too far from her at all. She nodded again, shifting slightly before laying still. They drifted into silence, Derek closing his eyes to rest as well. Meredith longed to sink back into sleep and end the exhaustion that was plaguing her, but she couldn't seem to fall asleep. Without the distraction of talking to Derek, she was finally noticing just how sore her throat was. The whole back of her mouth felt lined with sandpaper, filling her with a sick thirsty feeling. She glanced over at Derek, but he had his eyes closed. She smiled softly at his peaceful expression, and simply sat up instead of bothering him, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed to find the floor. The sound of her shifting caused Derek to look up as she rose shakily to her feet. "Meredith?" he asked worriedly, standing up himself just in time to catch her as she stumbled forward, reaching desperately for the support of his arm. She moaned in pain, having been utterly unprepared for the dizziness that was washing over her, or the sudden pounding sensation that had started up at the base of her skull--dull and repeating like the strikes of a mallet.

"Oww…" she whimpered, holding onto him as he lowered her deftly back into bed before she could move far enough to pull out her IV. "Derek," she said weakly.

"Shhh," he soothed, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Easy…just breathe Mer." She nodded, still whimpering slightly, but managing a small smile. "What part of that was resting?" he asked after a moment, hovering worriedly over her.

"Thirsty," she said in a small voice.

"You were thirsty?"

Meredith nodded again. She moved to turn to him, but stopped short, wincing once again from the sudden headache she'd incurred. "My throat hurts," she mumbled grumpily, confused and upset over the unexpected pain.

"So you ask me to get you something," said Derek gently, trailing his hand over her forehead. "You don't get to get up yet Mer."

"But you were sleeping," she protested, embarrassed from having nearly fallen, and sounding suddenly stubborn as a result.

"I wasn't," he countered. "And if I were, you know you'd only have to say my name to get me to wake up."

Meredith started to nod, but trailed off, frowning instead. "I can't get up?" she asked apprehensively.

Derek's voice was soft and gentle. "No," he agreed. "You can't." Meredith let out a frustrated little whine that quickly turned frightened as she glanced around, and seemed to finally comprehend how many monitors she was hooked up to. "Hey, it's okay," continued Derek, sensing her distress. "It's just…Terbutaline is strong, and they had to give you a lot of it."

"A lot, a lot?" she asked, still frowning at him. "Derek…how much?"

"35mg," he supplied, knowing that she would freak out if he refused to tell her, but his answer drew a small overwhelmed whimper from her lips anyway.

"Derek, that's…a lot."

"I know," he agreed, keeping his voice quiet and calming. "It's okay though. It just means that it's safer for you and the baby if you're off your feet for a little while, but don't even worry about that Mer. Because I'm going to take care of you." He raised his eyebrows, grinning at her in a manner that was both proud of himself and mischievous, prompting Meredith to giggle.

"You are?" she asked almost shyly.

"I am," he agreed easily. "In case you didn't know, I'm actually a very talented and successful doctor. You're lucky to have me taking care of you." He smirked at her, his eyes dancing happily even as she rolled her own at him.

"Seriously?" she asked lightly. "I never would've guessed." She leaned back against her pillows, returning the smirk he'd sent her. "All this time, I thought you were just a hair model."

He stopped smirking, his jaw dropping open instead. "A model?" he stammered disbelievingly, looking slightly put out at the suggestion. "I'm actually a very manly doctor."

"Oh, so models aren't manly?" countered Meredith, nearly laughing at his expression.

Derek's frown deepened, and he shook his head. "No," he said tersely, before looking back down at her, and grinning again. "But the point is, I'm a doctor. A good doctor." He leaned forward effortlessly, snatching her chart from the foot of the bed. He scanned it quickly--squinting to read in the dim light--before nodding his head. "Which means water," he continued, depositing it back where he had found it. "You can have water." He walked back over to the head of the bed, bending down so that his lips brushed against her cheek. "And anything else you want. Want anything else Mer?"

She sighed softly, twisting around so that his lips met her own instead of simply resting against her cheek. "No," she murmured into his mouth, smiling as he complied with her unspoken wish and kissed her again, his hand gently cradling her face. "Just water." He nodded, promising to return soon, before turning and making his way out through the door. Meredith sighed once more, her hands dropping down to rest against her stomach. She rubbed them softly over the baby, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "See…" she whispered, speaking to her child. "I told you that you'd love your daddy. That's your daddy."

Her eyes were closed when Derek returned, and he walked softly, afraid to disturb her if she'd fallen asleep. "Meredith…" he whispered, and as he spoke, they fluttered back open, bright orbs of clear green turning to stare at him. "I brought you water," he continued, setting the cup down beside her bed.

"Mmmm," she murmured in response, moving warily this time.

"Here," he said before she had gotten far, bending forward and shifting her pillows himself. "Do you want to sit all the way up?"

She just shook her head, still needing to lean heavily into him. "No. You hold me," she pleaded quietly. Derek smiled in response, scooting her forward ever so slightly before slipping in behind her, cradling her in his arms. As he did, Meredith sighed happily, twisting so that her head rested against his shoulder. Wordlessly, she held out her hand for the water, and he passed it to her. "Thank you," she mumbled, taking a much needed sip.

"Of course."

Meredith's eyes soon started to droop heavily again, and she handed the cup back to Derek, settling deeper into his arms. Pulling her closer to him, he lay his hands protectively against her stomach. Her eyes fluttered back open at that, and she twisted around to smile up at him. She didn't know quite what to say, so instead she just stared wide-eyed at him as she placed her hands over his, their fingers instantly moving to lace together. And they stayed like that for a long time; hands locked over the baby and their faces tilted just an inch apart, neither of them saying a word.

-----

So yes…Mer/Der. Mer made it. McFetus made it. Derek did the worried freak out thing, and had Bailey calm him down. And then, you know, smack him about a bit. Because Bailey can go from being comforting in one sentence to telling you you're a fool in the next. Because she's Bailey. And because he needed to hear it. Derek was utterly worried about Mer and the baby, but he still hadn't stepped back and realized just what a freaking huge portion of the blame for this whole thing fell squarely on his shoulders. Someone needed to point that out, and it couldn't be Mer. Even when he's apologizing to her, she tries to take some of the blame. But he had done plenty wrong, and Bailey herself was disturbed by what she'd just seen her intern go through. She was there to see Mer screaming hysterically in pain when Derek wasn't. And so she wants him to get just how badly he let her down…just how much he wasn't there for her when she needed someone to be there for her. And it finally sunk in past all the hair gel and mousse and what not to his loverly brain. So, when Derek does get to Meredith, and sees her laying there helplessly, it all adds up and he can't help but cry. Because he could have lost her and the baby, and he loves them, and he knows it would've been his fault, and there's just so many things that he needs to let out, so he ends up just weeping while she sleeps.

And then Mer…she wakes up. And she doesn't remember how she got where she is or what really happened at first because she was sedated and now she's just waking up from being out for a long time, and she's disoriented. However, as things come rushing back to her, she has no memory of the contractions stopping and everything coming out okay. The last thing she was conscious for would be her hysterical and in pain, with Bailey and Addison both beyond worried around her. And now Derek's crying, and in the back of her mind she's afraid she lost the baby. So she starts to freak out, and once Derek calms her down enough to point out that no, the baby's okay…she just starts crying because it was overwhelming and scary for her, and at the same time she is just so relieved that the baby's okay. Only this time, she's not crying by herself. Derek's there, and he understands exactly why she's crying because that's his kid as well, and they were both terrified.

And then Mer/Der. They have part of the talk that needed to be had. They haven't covered everything because well…there's a lot that went on over the past few months. And in the moment, the most important thing is finding their way back to each other. And they do. So yes, they are fixing them. They both want very much to fix them. And Derek is still as amazed as he's always been over the baby, and is now beyond protective of Mer and their child because he knows just how fragile she is right now. At the moment, she can barely stand without out falling. But finally…Derek catches her. (Woo look at that...literally and figuratively.) And you know, there may be a moment or two of fluff in there as well. Scandalous.

So yep, that's about it. Thanks so much for reading, hopefully you enjoyed it!