Author: therubyone
Summary: Josh and Drake are having a special and secret night out on the town, will they get caught?
Disclaimer: The show Drake and Josh and all its characters are owned by large, powerful corporations; no profit made nor sought by me/amusement only.
Rating: M for Mature - contains slash, het and drug use – I'm not kidding!
Spoilers: Action set in the general D/J universe soon after the events shown in the episode Steered Straight.
Teaser: "Do you want relations between us to stop?"
Ch 5 of 6
PLEASE PLEASE ME
Chapter 5. - Sweet Relief.
As swiftly as politeness allowed, the boys escorted their dates to the door of R5's room. Josh knew that she was way too tired to drive them back, after their long wait in the elevator. He was so tired, himself, that he didn't even feel like talking, anyway, much less making love, and was relieved he wouldn't have to make any conversation on the way back. Besides, he was troubled by some of Drake's actions, as well as his own reactions, while they had been trapped and he wanted to get that sorted out as soon as he could.
Without discussion, Josh and Drake headed for the stairwell. Walking down 7 flights of stairs was preferable, rather than possibly getting stuck again. It wouldn't be too long until the dawn, and now their attention was focused on getting home undetected.
As they exited the stairwell into the main lobby, they spotted Eric, who was half leading, half supporting a very happy but inebriated Craig, who had a gigantic smile plastered across his face. Since Eric had already spoken with Drake at the Sugar Shack, he didn't seem overly surprised to see his friends now.
Josh called out, ""S up, Eric? Do you need some help?"
"Oh, it's Craig who needs the help," answered Eric. "This evening has been a major milestone for him. I have to get him back to Northlawn in one piece and without his mother killing either one of us. I'm surprised the cops aren't out looking for us: we're way past his curfew. I'm the lucky one -- I'm staying over at my sister Maureen's because she needs to use our mom's minivan tomorrow."
"We can help you, if you don't mind giving us a lift to our neighborhood." Josh moved to the other side of Craig and reached around Craig's waist, so that he and Eric were both carrying him, Craig's toes barely touching the ground.
After studying Craig's expression, Drake asked, with a certain amount of newfound respect, "He lost his virginity tonight, didn't he?"
For a brief moment, Craig returned from the outer atmosphere and laughed, "Yes, sir, that's exactly what I did!"
Eric spoke soothingly to Craig, so he wouldn't start singing at the top of his lungs again, "I hope it was everything you expected it to be, Little Buddy, but now it's time to sober up and fly right. You just hang in there, and Big Daddy will get you home."
Eric's mother's maroon minivan was a welcome sight in the visitors' lot. It wasn't light out yet, but the birds were beginning to sing, and the air was almost imperceptibly brightening. As Eric was trying to get Craig into the front passenger seat, Craig crumpled into a heap. Drake stepped in to help Josh and Eric as they struggled; it was as if all the bones in Craig's body had melted. Finally, as Eric leaned over to fasten Craig's seatbelt, Craig came to momentary awareness and flailed out an arm, which struck Drake in the face. Drake jumped back, his hand protectively covering his left eye.
"Oh, God, Drake," laughed Eric. "You'll never live it down if you get another black eye from a nerd!"
Drake answered, insulted, "I don't think he hit me hard enough to cause any damage." He and Josh gratefully climbed into the van and slid the door shut. Eric put some breath mints "x's and o's" into Craig's mouth, took some himself, and offered them to Josh and Drake, who also shared some. "Besides," Drake added, diplomatically, "people who have sex are no longer classified as nerds."
The ride was uneventful, and there was little traffic on the road at this hour. They all discussed the relative merits of the acts they had seen at the jazz club, as well as their dating experiences.
Eric said, "I'm glad Ms. Dubois was there with Gavin and not Crazy Steve. You just never know what that guy's going to do."
Josh replied, "I know! I consider Crazy Steve a friend . . . sort of . . . but I'm glad he didn't follow them. He's been known to do that, and then cause a big scene. Helen had to threaten him with a restraining order to get him to back off."
Drake added, "Now that I think about it, Crazy Steve seems PERFECT for Helen. I predict that Gavin will soon be a thing of the past. Yeah, Crazy Steve's 'The One' for her."
Josh admitted, "You could be right. You seem to have an instinct for these kinds of things."
Drake leaned forward and said, "Eric, you better let us off a block away from home. We have to cut across the back yard and sneak in the window."
"Yeah, we're violating our house arrest," added Josh.
Eric looked in the rear view mirror back at Drake and Josh. "No problem. And thanks for not squealing on us to those girls we were with. I have hopes that we'll get together with them again."
"Good luck with that!" Drake said, repressing a laugh. "I guess it will depend on whether Craig has earned a repeat performance?!"
Eric, in rebuttal, said, "Or how badly those two need to get their grades up!"
Craig hadn't fallen asleep, but his mind was a million miles away, and he didn't seem to care that his friends were discussing his behavior. Tonight, he had become a MAN! And he was reliving every precious moment in delicious slo-mo, so he could burn all the details into his brain for all time.
Eric pulled over to the curb so Josh and Drake could exit. As he climbed out, Drake thanked Eric for the ride and then playfully punched Craig on the shoulder and said, "Congratulations, man!"
Josh also expressed his thanks to Eric and patted Craig, saying "Way to go," on his way out of the Montella.
The boys walked through the neighbors' yards on their way home.
"Josh, that was an amazing evening, possibly the best night of our lives so far," Drake told him. "Thanks for planning it. Even if we do get caught, I'm still glad we did it."
"Well, we're nearly home free, fingers crossed," Josh answered. "Do you think you'll want to go out with FF again?"
"I definitely want to see how good of a drummer she is! I think I'll stick with my fluffy bunnies, though. FF is the kind of girl who'd keep me on my toes too much. I'm not ready to put any effort into a relationship," Drake replied.
"Fair enough. I guess there are sufficient underclass females at Belleview to keep you occupied until we graduate! I'm glad you had fun tonight. I did, too," said Josh.
"And I can see how well you go with R5. I'm sorry I got jealous. I'll have to work on that. It's not an emotion I'm familiar with. I got too wrecked and I just let it all hang out," stated Drake.
They were in their own yard now. Josh wanted to continue this conversation, so he sat down, yoga style, at the base of the lemon tree, and continued, quietly, "We haven't talked much about this. But I think we can agree that what takes place between us is private and isn't for comparison with any relationships we have with girls. Is that also your understanding?"
Drake followed suit and sat down, leaning his back against the tree. "Yes. Pretty much. You might have been surprised back there, but I was, too. It's hard to describe, seeing you kissing your date, and knowing exactly what it's like to be kissing you. It made me feel so weird inside. Part of me got turned on and wanted a three-way, and another part of me just wanted to shove her aside and start sucking your face myself."
"Believe it or not, she's been pressing me for a threesome – with me, her and FF! Apparently, it's FF's idea," Josh said.
"I can believe that. You should go for it. And tell me all about it afterwards," Drake said, with a trace of envy. "Don't make me beg for the details, either. That could be so hot! You know, I almost considered giving in to the Bartleby sisters, just so I could have a 3-way. But I was afraid they might hurt me and leave permanent marks!"
"There's no doubt in my mind that you'll get all the sex you want in your lifetime, and then some," reassured Josh. "Which brings me to my next point. One of your other LISTS. I think you know the one I mean. Until I saw it, I never stopped to think about how many times we've . . . you know."
"That reminds me, I need to update for Friday night and yesterday," Drake thought, aloud.
"Drake, it's already a rather lengthy list," Josh pointed out.
Drake asked him, "What are you trying to say?"
Josh continued, haltingly. "I don't know. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm thinking when it comes to . . . us. That's why I want to stay out here and talk about this. Once we get back in our room and start undressing, one thing always seems to lead to another, these days." After a brief silence, he continued, "What do you think is going on? What happened back in that elevator?"
"I just had a random memory," Drake said, moving away from the question. "When I told you I wasn't comfortable with the hugging. That was when you first moved in."
"Well, we're light years past THAT, my friend," Josh said, irritated.
"Josh, you are my friend. And my brother. And more. Is it my fault you lost all that weight and got so damned hot that sometimes it takes my breath away when I'm near you?" asked Drake.
Josh spat back, "Why do you think I worked so hard to lose weight and change my appearance and lifestyle?"
Drake answered, as though it was obvious, "You wanted to get healthier."
"Yes," Josh answered, patiently, also with anguish, "but the main reason was that no matter how smart I was, or skilled, or funny, or worthy, or whatever, no girl ever looked at me for more than two seconds as long as you were around. My motivation was primarily to get girls. You might not ever be able to understand, since you never had to work at that."
Drake interrupted, protesting, "The girls are all over you, now that Mindy's out of the picture."
Josh returned with, "And so are you – all over me."
Drake said, "So what?"
"Let me approach this in a different way." Steepling his fingers under his chin, Josh thought for a moment. "Do you ever picture yourself doing the things we do with each other with any other man?"
Drake hadn't thought about it at all before. "Not really." He flashed back to Friday evening, underneath Josh, with Josh inside him, the feeling of surrendering himself totally, of being possessed, responding without volition to Josh's clever fingers and relentless kisses, face down with the mattress stifling his cries, clutching at the sheets with both hands as every thrust against his prostate built towards a volcanic climax that left him shaking, then, turning and clinging to Josh like a wet kitten. He answered, firmly, "No. Only with you."
Josh continued, "Let me state for the record that I would never, ever want to be with any other male in a sexual way. My next question for you: do you see yourself in the future with a wife and children?"
Drake smiled, his whole face softening. "I love kids. I definitely want kids," he said. He knew he'd make a good father. "I can sort of see myself as having an EX-wife. Or two. I'm really more like the bees, going from flower to flower. If I got tired of that, then I would settle down. I could be our generation's Gene Simmons."
Josh, baffled, said, "I thought John Lennon and Paul McCartney are your role models."
"They are – musically," Drake explained. "I'm talking southern California lifestyle here."
"Okay. I'm not ready for marriage, either, any time soon. But I like the idea of having a constant female presence in my life. I'm definitely the one-on-one type," said Josh.
"What are you getting at?" Drake, troubled, tried to make sense of it. In disbelief, he asked "Do you want relations between us to stop?"