So, so sorry this chapter took so long to get up. I was planning to post it yesterday, but then…I watched Grey's. And just…gah! My brain refused to do anything beyond freak out and spin wildly because…Meredith! Mer, Mer, Mer…it needs to be next Thursday already. Seriously. So yes, this got delayed while I spazzed like a crazy fangirl. However, this chapter is preeeeeeetty long, so…let's pretend that makes up for the delay. Hee. What else? Oh yes. Thanks so much for the reviews. Mer/Der are back together, let's twirl around, and all that good stuff. I was very glad to hear that people enjoyed their reunion. So many thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. It's interesting and rewarding and motivating and all kinds of good things like puppies and lollipops and sunshine rolled into a big giant bow. Or something… Basically, thanks. Anything else? Umm…this chapter, yeah. This chapter takes place a little under two weeks after the last one, so Mer has been on break for awhile, and Mer/Der have been reunited that same length of time. That's about it for now. Enjoy!
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The sky
is lit up
Day will be richer than night
So don't think of
yesterday
It's here and now
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Meredith frowned at herself in the mirror, pulling her hair up into a messy ponytail. The smell of food was wafting its way slowly upstairs, and she flicked the light switch off, hurrying quickly into the hall. The inviting aroma was already making her stomach growl insistently, and she rubbed it reassuringly to stop the ache as she made her way down the stairs. She could hear the loud mingling of voices in the kitchen, and found herself smiling despite the fact that it was early and she was still tired. The loud banging of pots and pans and people shuffling about sounded somehow close to perfect. Things had started to feel almost frighteningly perfect lately; her time off from work passing in a dizzy blur that was brightened immeasurably by Derek's presence as opposed to the cold lingering of days she had been expecting. If she really thought about it, she was starting to feel as if she were inching back towards something safe. Her roommates no longer shot Derek dirty looks every time they bumped into him in the hall. Things seemed to magically be slipping back to the way they had been before, capturing a happiness that she had thought was forever lost. Her smile still lingering on her face, Meredith made her way into the kitchen.
"Morning," she called, her eyes widening as she caught sight of the heaping mountain of French Toast Izzie was setting down on the table. "So that's what I was smelling. Sure you made enough, Iz?" she asked, rolling her eyes at the pile as she leaned forward to grab a plate.
"Whoa. No you don't," was the only reply she received as Izzie leaned forward as well, snatching the plate back from Meredith just as soon as she had grabbed it.
Her eyebrows drew together in confusion. "What?" She reached out for the plate again, but Izzie just walked away with it, her smile full of smug amusement.
"No French Toast for you," she called over her shoulder. "Derek's making you breakfast." Meredith's frown deepened, and she walked further into the kitchen, over to where he stood by the stove.
"You're making me breakfast?" she asked quietly, looking up at him as she rested her head against his shoulder.
"I am," he agreed as he moved to shield the stove from view.
"Well, what are you making?" She frowned at being displaced, and tried to sidestep him, peering forward in the hopes of getting a glimpse of what was within the large black pot. Instead, Meredith found herself being pulled into his arms, her view obscured by his lips suddenly pressing against hers.
"Go sit down," he answered as he pulled his mouth from hers, hands settling around her stomach. "It's almost ready. I'll bring it to you."
"Derek, no. What are you…" she tried, only to once again be silenced by the pressure of his lips against her own. The kiss was surprisingly forceful for early in the morning in the middle of a crowded kitchen, but it successfully distracted her from all thoughts about breakfast and the stove. Meredith moaned softly, her lips growing pliant beneath his. But just as her fingers started to twine through his hair, her body responding and moving closer, Derek pulled away again, resting his forehead against hers. "You're being very strange today," she murmured, her small hand running over his chest as she chewed on her lip, her expression growing thoughtful.
"I am simply making breakfast," replied Derek lightly, straightening up and smirking at her. "For my girlfriend. My beautiful girlfriend," he amended, hands still locked around her back. His voice turned teasing as he started to walk her backwards towards the table. "What, Dr. Grey? Is that not allowed?"
Meredith tilted her head to the side, eyes growing bright and curious. "It's allowed," she relented, resigning herself to waiting for her breakfast.
"Good." Reaching out, Derek grasped her chin and smiled down at her, before lowering her expertly into a chair. "Now stay. Don't make me burn breakfast," he continued, leaving her with George and Izzie as he strode back towards the stove.
"Okay…" mumbled Meredith, her expression growing bemused as she watched him once again pick up the large stirring spoon.
"We're terribly sorry," said George, his voice muffled slightly by a mouthful of French Toast. Meredith turned back around at his words to find Izzie nodding her head in agreement.
"We are," she said, although her voice didn't sound that regretful. "I tried to get him to stop, but…" She trailed off, her words ending in a shrug. "He's persistent."
"Umm…what exactly is he making?" asked Meredith, worry seeping into her voice. She looked back towards Derek again, narrowing her eyes as she watched him spoon something into a bowl.
George just shook his head. "It's horrible."
"Disgusting, really," agreed Izzie, wrinkling her nose.
"Derek?" called Meredith anxiously, once again receiving nothing more than his usual grin, eyebrows rising as his eyes darkened with amusement. Sighing, Meredith turned back to the table, her fingers drumming impatiently as she waited for him. And eventually, he made his way over, proudly setting a steaming bowl down in front of her. She leaned forward, her expression instantly contorting into a frown as she studied the gloppy contents. "Umm…what is that?"
"Oatmeal," answered Derek proudly, sliding down into the chair beside her and taking a long drink from his coffee mug.
"Oatmeal?" she echoed weakly, poking gingerly at it with her spoon.
Izzie nodded as she reached forward to grab the syrup. "We told you we were sorry."
Meredith just gave a sharp shake of her head in response. "There's no way I'm eating oatmeal," she said flatly, already pushing the bowl away.
"Mer," tried Derek, nudging the bowl back in her direction. "It's delicious."
"It's even worse than your Muesli," she replied, the corners of her mouth curving deeply into a smirk as she turned and leaned towards Derek, closing the already short distance between them.
"What? I thought you liked my Muesli," he answered, filling his voice with a fake injured innocence that made Meredith laugh and shake her head. She turned wordlessly back to the oatmeal, once again prodding it with the end of the utensil, her eyes narrowing as she peered down, examining the contents of the bowl. "Eat it," he coaxed, tilting his head to the side and smiling at her warmly, his voice growing low and convincing. "I read it's good for the baby."
"Aww you read baby books," interjected Izzie delightedly as Derek reddened ever so slightly. Meredith just shook her head, gazing up at him.
"Actually..." She paused as her smile melted once again into a smirk. "The baby wants French Toast." Setting her spoon down in a slow deliberate motion, she added, "and so do I."
Derek did his best to look astonished at her words. "Oh, you want French Toast?" he asked, carefully forcing a frown across his face, before giving in and grinning at her. "I never would've guessed."
"Mmhmm," said Meredith lightly. "You see, some people like to eat food that doesn't taste like cardboard." Derek ignored her protest, simply reaching out to pick up her hand in his, curling her fingers once again around the spoon. Meredith tore her eyes from him at the feel of the cold metal against her palm, glancing down for a second before returning her gaze quickly to his face, glaring at him. "Derek Shepherd!" she snapped indignantly, threatening him with the blunt curve of the spoon.
Once again, his response was a soft smile, although his eyes gave away his amusement at her reaction. "Please?" he asked simply, and his voice was so low and insistent, so utterly hopeful, that Meredith felt herself giving in. She rolled her eyes, scooping out a spoonful of the oatmeal and placing it cautiously in her mouth. She wrinkled her nose instantly, not bothering to hide her grimace at the lumpy unpleasant texture. Swallowing hard, she reached quickly for her juice glass, washing away the taste by draining it dry.
"See? It's good, right?" asked Derek as she set the empty glass back down and turned to him with narrowed eyes.
Meredith just shrugged. "If by good you mean disgusting, then yes, it's good."
"Yeah well, the baby likes it," he replied evenly, leaning forward and pressing his lips to her forehead. "Now eat up, or we'll be late." He turned back to his own breakfast as Meredith glowered at him, but reluctantly took another bite of the warm cereal.
"Mer," hissed George, and she looked back up to find him furtively passing her a piece of French Toast from his plate. Grinning mischievously, she nodded her thanks, quickly biting into the toast.
"Why are you up so early anyway?" asked Izzie, turning to Meredith curiously. "Don't you still have time off?"
"Doctor's appointment," said Meredith simply. "I made it really early because I thought I'd be working, and have to go in to the hospital afterwards." Izzie glanced cautiously over at Derek, who had picked up the paper and was skimming over the front page.
"Dr. McBabies?" she mouthed incredulously, her eyebrows shooting straight up as Meredith nodded her head.
"Well yeah," she said with a shrug. "I've got to switch to a perinatologist, so I figured I might as well tell him in person. Besides, I want someone to look at me before I go back to work." She shrugged once more, popping the last of her French Toast into her mouth.
"Uh huh…" said Izzie, her voice still clearly skeptical. "Does he…" She lowered her voice, leaning forward. "I mean, after the kissing? Doesn't Derek…" She trailed off as Derek looked up, amusement showing clearly in every line of his face. "Meredith," continued Izzie, her voice turning into a frustrated hiss as she found her questions cut off abruptly. Meredith sighed and rolled her eyes, running a hand through the loose waves of her hair.
"Derek, can I please have some more oatmeal?" she asked pointedly as she handed him her still full bowl. He glanced down at the contents, raising an eyebrow.
"Seriously?" He tilted the bowl back towards her. "You do realize that the stuff in here right now would be the oatmeal?" he asked, speaking slowly as if he feared she couldn't comprehend him. Meredith shot him a glare as he grinned at her.
"It's cold."
"Right. You just want me to leave so you can talk about me."
"No, I just really love oatmeal," she replied dryly, rolling her eyes again in response to his still lingering grin. "Seriously. I do. It's almost as good as sex." Derek laughed at her comment, but George just let out a worried moan, looking up from his plate.
"Oh god…please don't tell me you're about to start screaming then," he groaned. "It's too early for screaming."
Meredith shot him a puzzled look. "What?" she asked, before understanding slid slowly over her. "Oh." She flushed slightly, watching as Izzie and George glanced at each other, shaking their heads. "I'm not…" she stammered. "I don't…" Their expressions grew increasingly incredulous, and Meredith glared at them, banging her spoon resolutely against the table. "I don't scream." They only snorted down at their respective plates, all three faces surrounding her mirror expressions of disbelief.
"Well," began Derek slowly, drawing out the word. "Last night…"
"Okay fine," said Meredith to silence him, her voice tight with annoyance. "I may occasionally scream. Softly. Very softly, and…why are we even having this conversation?" She looked down abruptly, once again picking up the bowl of oatmeal and brandishing it at Derek. "Oatmeal," she snapped as he leered at her, his eyes darkening with the intense heady look he used only on her. Meredith's expression softened slightly, and she added a mumbled, "please," as he obliged and headed back towards the stove. She returned to glaring at her two roommates as she leaned forward, helping herself to a second piece of French toast.
"Um Mer?" began Izzie politely. "Shouldn't you be saving room for the orgasmic oatmeal?"
"You know what?" hissed Meredith, eyes flashing as her roommates both snickered, shaking their heads. "You people are supposed to be my friends--my nice, kind, caring friends. You're not supposed to pick on the pregnant girl, remember? Especially since her boyfriend has clearly gone insane, and is trying to starve her and their child with a breakfast made entirely of shredded cardboard!"
"Well ah…my mom used to make me eat oatmeal," offered George. "The only way to get it down is by burying it under a crust of brown sugar."
"We don't have brown sugar," snapped Meredith.
"Okay, okay," soothed Izzie, laughing at her expression, and passing her the syrup. "Eat your toast, and tell me how you got Shepherd not to care that you're seeing Dr. McKissyFace today."
"Dr. McKissyFace?" echoed George.
Izzie nodded her head. "Meredith kissed her doctor," she said flatly, prompting George to choke on a mouthful of coffee, the liquid dribbling down his face as he spluttered in disbelief, hands searching for a napkin. "And that's disgusting," she continued, wrinkling her nose as she scooted her chair back from his a little. "It looks like you've got coffee coming out of your pores." He just shook his head, glancing back and forth between Meredith's almost bored expression and the sight of Derek at the coffee pot, refilling his own mug.
"You kissed…when…?" stammered George. "Does he…does Shepherd know?" Meredith just sighed, and nodded her head.
"Yes. He knows."
"He saw them," added Izzie eagerly, eyes glinting. "What?" she continued defensively as Meredith shot her a dark look. "I'm just providing a clearer picture. Most people would call that helpful." Meredith opened her mouth to reply, but George beat her to it.
"He saw you kiss your doctor, and now he doesn't care that you're going back to the same guy?" he asked incredulously.
"Why should he care? We are all adults," said Meredith, shaking her head. "We have moved past that. Besides…" She trailed off as Derek dropped once again into the chair beside her, looking up in time to catch the amused smirk lingering around his mouth.
"Besides, I'm coming with," he supplied.
"Oh…" said George in a gasp of understanding that contorted quickly into one of pure horror. "Oh…no. That, that will be…"
"Epic," offered Izzie, looking delighted.
Meredith just frowned at her. "What?"
"It won't be pretty," she explained.
"No. It won't be," agreed George.
"Destruction will occur," continued Izzie, brandishing her fork through the air as her voice grew low and dramatic. "Limbs will fly. Blood will be spilt. Heads will…"
"Stop being ridiculous," interrupted Meredith, once again rolling her eyes. "We will be fine. Seriously people, stop acting like there's a danger of me mounting my doctor on the exam table." Derek looked up at that, eyes darkening slightly as he raised his eyebrows.
"What?" he asked, his voice growing sharp.
"Yeah, good luck with that one," said Izzie blithely, turning to Derek. "Now she wants to mount him. And he is mountable. Very mountable…" She smiled slowly, looking away from Derek's increasingly frustrated expression to take in the shocked glare Meredith was sending her. "What?" she asked with perfected innocence.
"Thank you," said Meredith dryly, setting her fork back down. "Seriously. Thank you for that. Very helpful." Izzie grimaced apologetically, and busied herself with pouring more syrup on her plate.
"And…look at the time," interjected George in a rush, his voice suddenly frantic as he broke the tense silence that had started to settle over the table. "We have rounds in ten minutes." He practically vaulted out of his seat, and Izzie leapt to her feet as well.
"Crap," she hissed, pulling her coat on as she dashed back to the kitchen counter to grab her keys. "Hurry up George. Bailey's going break our arms, and eat us for breakfast."
"I'm already at the door," he replied indignantly as he stuffed his feet into his shoes.
"Whatever," snapped Izzie. "Go start the car or something. And you two…" She glanced back over at Meredith and Derek as they sat in silence, neither one quite meeting the other's eyes. "Have fun with your doctor." A moment later, she had followed George outside, the door slamming resolutely shut behind her.
Shifting uncomfortably, Meredith wound her napkin around her wrist. She hadn't really stopped to consider just how bad putting Josh and Derek in the same room could get, but Derek's suddenly sullen expression was rapidly clueing her in. "So," she began tentatively, her eyes apprehensive as she studied his face.
Derek cleared his throat, running his hand roughly through his hair. "So, about this doctor…"
"I'm not going to mount him," she defended with a heavy sigh. Not feeling up for an argument, she simply speared a final piece of French Toast with her fork. Popping it into her mouth, she looked back at Derek as she licked the syrup from her lips. "And I don't want to," she added pointedly, offering him a slow suggestive smile, white teeth biting down against the red of her mouth.
Derek nodded, his grave expression finally shifting into a smirk. "Good."
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"Can you tie this for me?" asked Meredith, turning her back to Derek and sweeping her hair off her neck, revealing the final tie at the top of her hospital gown.
"Yep," said Derek simply, fingers brushing against her bare skin as he worked the strings into a knot with an easy practiced precision. "All set," he continued, reaching up to pull her hand from her hair, and spin her back around to face him. Meredith smiled her thanks as she looked up at him, shivering slightly in the cool air of the exam room. Feeling her tense against him, Derek ran his hands up over her arms, his expression growing worried. "Hey…are you good?"
"Yeah," she said, glancing over her shoulder at the closed door. She raised an eyebrow pointedly. "Are you good?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be good?"
"Well, you know." Meredith shrugged, tilting her head to the side as she frowned up at him. "I'm just saying," she said slowly, pressing her palm flat against his chest. "Play nice. That's all."
"Play nice?" echoed Derek, looking suddenly amused as his mouth twisted into a smile, fingers drumming against her arms. "With who? I have no idea what you're talking about."
Eyes narrowing, Meredith shook her head sharply. "You do too, so just…behave." She lowered her voice warningly as Derek continued to keep his expression deliberately uncomprehending. "Seriously, just try not to be an ass to him. Josh is actually a very nice guy."
"Uh huh," said Derek, frowning slightly. "Nice guys don't kiss their patients." Meredith took a step back, folding her arms over the ledge created by her protruding stomach.
"Oh really? And how would you know that?"
"Because I've never kissed a patient," answered Derek proudly, clearly thinking he had proven his point. Meredith just rolled her eyes.
"You're not a nice guy."
"What?" he spluttered, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm a nice guy. I'm a very nice guy." Meredith opened her mouth to reply, but fell silent at the sound of the doorknob turning.
"Just be civil," she hissed under her breath, turning around as the door opened, and Josh stepped into the room. "Josh!" she continued, smiling warmly up at him.
"Meredith," he answered, smiling as well as he walked over to them. "It's good to see you again. You look great." He glanced down at her stomach, adding, "And you've grown. A lot." Meredith wrinkled her nose, nodding in agreement.
"I know." Looking down at her stomach as well, she let her hand settle over its curve. She felt Derek's own hand come to rest on her shoulder in a gesture that was both protective and a bit possessive, and she glanced back up, smiling awkwardly back and forth at the two men. "Um yeah," she continued. "Things have been good for a change. They've been really good. I'm happy."
"That's great," replied Josh, but his attention had shifted to focus on the man standing beside her, his eyes darkening ever so slightly as his expression grew skeptical. "And this is…?" he prompted, causing Meredith to once again whirl around to look up at Derek.
"Right, uh Josh…this is my boyfriend Derek."
"Oh." Josh nodded, not looking all that surprised by the introduction. "So this is the infamous Derek," he teased, grinning at her despite the fact that the smile didn't quite make it to his eyes. Meredith winced, realizing that Josh had no reason to think well of the man who had finally come to an appointment with her. All Josh knew about Derek came from explanations she had given him that were accompanied by relentless tears and hazy damning details about a wife.
"Uh yeah," she said quietly. "That'd be him." Growing slightly nervous, she glanced back up at Derek, catching sight of the scowl that was now scrawled clearly across his brow. "And Derek," she continued, their eyes locking briefly. "That's Josh."
"Right, hello," said Derek, his voice low and terse. "You're the one who kissed my girlfriend."
"Derek!" hissed Meredith, glaring at him before turning to shoot Josh an apologetic grimace. "Sorry. He, uh…"
"She wasn't your girlfriend at the time," replied Josh, looking over Meredith's head as his initial burst of astonishment at the unexpected comment faded away.
"You know…that's a long story," stammered Meredith apprehensively, once again glancing back and forth between the two men. "It's in the past, and the past is…good. And we should just leave it there. Don't go digging up the thing." However, both men seemed not to hear her; still caught up in regarding each other with what amounted to cold distaste at best.
"She was still pregnant with my child at the time," said Derek sharply, his voice growing low and hinting at anger. He was having a hard time finding anything at all redeemable about the man standing in front of them, and he folded his arms across his chest, chin jutting out and his eyes not leaving Josh's face for an instant.
However, Josh glanced down at the chart he held in his hands, nodding thoughtfully. "Right…" Looking back up, he added, "And you were with your wife." Derek turned incredulously to where Meredith had been standing, shocked at just how much her doctor seemed to know, only to find that she had walked away. She was seated on the edge of the exam table, swinging her legs back and forth while scowling at the floor.
"Mer," he said, crossing quickly over to her only to find her avoiding his eyes. "Meredith," he tried again, running a hand over her arm, fingers looping around her tiny wrist. "Come on," he coaxed. "Look at me." Reluctantly, she sighed, and turned her head towards him.
"Are you two through?" she asked, her words heavy with exhaustion.
"Yes. Sorry," mumbled Derek sheepishly, pulling her to him and kissing her quickly yet pointedly. "I'll behave."
"Thank you," she said dryly, her gaze returning once again to the floor.
"Sorry," agreed Josh, offering Meredith his own apology before resuming his perusal of her chart. Meredith nodded, satisfied, yet still feeling tense over the situation. Josh cleared his throat, dropping easily into the chair that waited in front of the table. "Should we go ahead and get started then?" he asked, and she nodded once more. Growing suddenly shy, she ducked her head and stretched her hand out to Derek, pulling him down into the remaining chair that stood to her right. "So, Seattle Grace faxed over your updated history," said Josh, thumbing through the thick addition to her file. "And it looks like you had quite the scare a little under a month ago."
Meredith's eyes clouded over as her hands moved instinctively to her stomach, the memory still paining her and filling her with a sharp fear. "Yeah," she whispered, swallowing to ease the sudden dryness that was assaulting her throat. "It was…not good." Derek reached over, squeezing her hand reassuringly, and, as he did, the tension within her zeroed in on the sensation of his skin against her own, and she held his hand in an almost vice-like grip.
"No…it wasn't good," agreed Josh, closing her file and looking up, his expression growing serious. "Meredith," he began gently. "I'm not saying this to frighten you, but you really should be seeing a specialist now. Not me. It'd just be a precaution, because you seem to be doing great, but…the extra stress your body went through has technically put you at higher risk for future complications." He looked worriedly at her, hoping that his words hadn't alarmed her, only to find Derek glaring at him; annoyed that the man was reminding Meredith of the pain she had been through.
"We know that," he said flatly. "We're switching to a specialist."
Meredith swallowed again, finally finding her voice. "Yeah," she said weakly, trying to block out the possibility of anything else going wrong with her pregnancy. "We are. It's just…I go back to work in two days, and I didn't want to go without someone checking on the baby. Besides…" She shrugged, tilting her head to the side, and offering him a smile. "I didn't want to just tell you I was switching doctors through your secretary. Not since you've been so great about things."
Josh grinned at her, shaking his head. "It was nothing, but that was very sweet of you."
"She's always like that," said Derek, his voice territorial yet also filled with pride. "Meredith's a very sweet person." She turned to look at him at that, torn between smiling and scolding him with her eyes. She sighed as his arm lifted up to wrap around her waist, giving in to the urge to smile for a moment, before clearing her throat and pushing his hand away.
"So umm," she began tentatively, turning back towards Josh.
"So," echoed Josh, a warm smile shooting across his face as he got to his feet. "I'm going to have a nurse come in and do your bloodwork. And when that's done, we'll do an ultrasound. See how everything's doing in there, okay?" He scanned her face carefully, and was relieved to find her once again smiling and nodding her head.
"Okay," she agreed before glancing down at Derek, her eyes drifting down to where he was entwining her fingers with his. "What?" she asked quietly, but he just shrugged.
"Nothing," he said before turning and flashing Josh an empty grin as the other man opened the door to exit the room. "Take your time, doc." Rolling her eyes, Meredith turned back to Derek, loosing her fingers to flick him on the arm. "Oww," he said indignantly. "What was that for?"
"That's for this thing you've been doing," she replied, her voice hinting at annoyance as she wrinkled her nose at him.
Derek just frowned in confusion, grinning at her. "What thing?"
"Oh don't even," she continued, pointing her finger at his chest. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. This thing you're doing with the peeing all over your territory. He gets it. I'm with you." She gestured blatantly down at her protruding stomach, adding, "I think it's pretty obvious."
"I was not," began Derek indignantly, halting abruptly as the door opened again, and a nurse came walking in. Lowering his voice, he continued. "I was not peeing all over my territory." Meredith smiled politely at the nurse, handing over her right arm for the blood to be drawn, before turning back to Derek.
"Right. Of course you weren't. Whatever you say Derek." Her voice was mingled amusement and disbelief, her lips curving upward into a broad smile. "I'm just saying you don't need to be jealous. Just throwing the comment out there."
"Uh huh. I see," replied Derek, blue eyes sparkling as he reached out, playing with a loose strand of her hair. "Well, that would be good to know if I were jealous. Which I'm not. At all." He spoke slowly, his face inching closer and closer to hers with every word. Sighing softly, Meredith leaned forward as well, her forehead coming to rest against his.
"Of course you're not," she agreed in a voice that was a world away from agreement, offering Derek a slow smile before suddenly drawing back, her breath hissing past her lips as the nurse slid the needle into her vein.
"What?" asked Derek immediately, searching her eyes.
"It's nothing," said Meredith, recovering quickly from the short stab of pain. "It was just the needle."
Derek leaned forward, his voice growing gentle as he ran a hand through her hair. "It hurts?" Meredith glanced over her shoulder, watching as the nurse removed the needle, sealing the small vials of blood shut one by one and setting them in her cart.
"A little," she allowed, shifting gingerly as the nurse pulled off the tourniquet with a single sharp tug. Derek frowned at that, and reached out, carefully moving her arm towards himself and away from the nurse, leaning forward to study the slightly bloodied skin at the crook of her arm.
"Um…I have to…" began the nurse uncertainly, holding up a band-aid. Meredith glanced up at the woman, reluctant to move her arm away from the soothing brush of Derek's fingertips against her skin, running over her newly sore muscle.
"Here," said Meredith, stretching out her other hand for the band-aid. "He can do it." She tilted her head towards Derek, who nodded in agreement. However, the nurse simply looked skeptical, keeping the bandage clasped tightly within her grip.
"Are you sure?" she asked, prompting Meredith to roll her eyes in poorly concealed disbelief.
"He's a neurosurgeon," she said flatly. "I think he can figure out a freaking band-aid." The nurse colored slightly--handing over the bandage without a word--and promptly left the room.
"You are very cranky today," observed Derek, standing up to lean against the exam table, easing her arm closer to him.
"No…it's just," stammered Meredith uncertainly, feeling some of her unexplainable frustration melt away as his fingers continued to run soothingly over her skin. "Okay fine," she admitted, giving in as he turned to look at her--his eyes dark and skeptical. "Maybe a little bit." Chewing on her lip, she added a mumbled, "sorry," prompting Derek to smile at her once again.
"It's fine. It's adorable," he replied, already pulling the band-aid out of its wrapper. His smile faded as he returned his attention to her arm, his expression morphing into a noticeable frown. Derek brushed his fingers over the skin that bloomed in blues and purples outward from the tiny red hole where the needle had been. "Look at that," he said, his voice frustrated. "That nurse… There's already some bruising."
"It's not that bad," said Meredith gently, but Derek shook his head.
"It's more than necessary," he continued, smoothing the band-aid over her arm. "Figures the guy would hire incompetent nurses."
"Derek," said Meredith, rolling her eyes at him as she tilted her head to the side. "She wasn't incompetent."
"Well, I wouldn't have given you a bruise," said Derek indignantly.
Meredith just shrugged. "And you're also not a nurse."
They leaned closer together--Derek's hand still lingering protectively over her arm--as their mouths twitched and turned and curved upward into identical smiles, their eyes shining with amusement. They didn't say anything for a long moment, simply sitting together as Meredith leaned into him. She closed her eyes, wanting to drink in the feeling of having Derek so close to her, so completely there for her; her darker half filing it carefully away in the far recesses of her memory in case perfection once again failed to last for her. The exam room was so inconsequential, so utterly non intimidating compared to how it had felt on previous visits, and it was all due to the warm hand linked closely with her own, and the low reassuring sound of Derek's breathing as he leaned forward, pressing his lips to the top of her head. She glanced up at him suddenly, her eyes growing excited at a sudden realization.
"You finally get to see the baby," she whispered, unable to keep from grinning.
"I know," he agreed, looking absolutely excited over the idea himself. "I get to see the baby." Derek smiled--the blue of his eyes seeming to splinter out into a hundred colors as Meredith stared up into them--her hand reaching out to find his, and place it over their stirring child, the small motions running like electricity through his fingertips. And they stood like that; unwilling to look away, and not needing to speak, until the door to the exam room opened once more, jerking them back to reality. Derek frowned, but didn't say anything. He simply followed the other man meticulously with his eyes, his expression dark and brooding as he watched Josh set up the ultrasound machine, and spread a cool layer of gel over Meredith's stomach. Meredith wasn't saying a word either, simply laying back with her eyes closed as she tried to ignore the heavy tension that was once again building within the room. But after a moment, Josh's voice pierced the air, and her eyes flew back open.
"There's your baby," he said quietly, adjusting the screen slightly so she could see it from her position.
"There," echoed Meredith, tilting her head back to stare up at Derek. The pale quietness to her features had vanished suddenly; as if a veil had been torn back, leaving her to beam at Derek, her face close to glowing, and her green eyes radiant. At the sight of her expression, he felt his own scowl melting away, and his breath drew in sharp due as much to her smile as to finally seeing the scratchy image of their child. "Derek look," she urged, suddenly tugging on his arm in a manner that was positively childlike.
"I'm looking," he murmured, leaning forward and resting his chin against the top of her head as he took in every tiny detail displayed on the monitor. His eyes filled with awe as he stared at the visual depiction of the life that grew inside the woman he loved, a wonderfully calm feeling washing over him. "It's our baby Mer," he said gently, his voice low and unable to say anything more; caught up in staring at the perfect shape of the tiny child.
Josh looked up, smiling warmly at them. "At first glance, everything looks good," he said reassuringly, scribbling a note on Meredith's chart as he wrote. She nodded, letting out a soft sigh of relief. "I'm going to go ahead and run a few tests to make sure everything's developing properly, so Meredith, you just lay there and relax, okay?" She nodded wordlessly, her eyes still riveted to the screen. The room fell back into silence once again, but this time there was a gentle hush to the quiet, softened immeasurably by the faint yet tender smile that lingered on Meredith's face, intensifying in her eyes. After several long minutes, she finally tore her eyes from the screen. Shifting slightly, she turned to stare up at Derek, only to find his expression a perfect echo of her own.
"Hey," he said quietly as he felt her eyes on him. He smiled down at her, tracing his thumb slowly along the smooth pale curve of her jaw line. "We're having a baby." Meredith nodded her head, reaching up to wrap her slender fingers around his wrist, holding on tight. She felt almost as if she were floating, suspended somewhere high and perfect where everything was safe; beautiful in a way she hadn't imagined possible. Its perfection made it feel fragile--easily breakable-- and she clung to Derek's voice, trying to dull her usual doubts with his presence as she reminded herself of every promise he had made her. Noticing the somber light to her eyes that lingered beneath her smile, Derek drew his thumb from her jaw line up across her lip, frowning softly at her. "Are you okay?" he asked, trying to sift through the layers she lived her life in, and find the bottom one; that one small sliver that was completely her and exquisitely hidden.
But Meredith just brightened her smile, nodding her head reassuringly. "I'm fine," she said, looking away from him to stare at the screen, watching as Josh carefully studied the ultrasound. Derek sighed, knowing instinctively that she was avoiding his question, but he didn't feel like pushing the issue with Josh in the room. He simply stood in silence, his gaze drifting back and forth between the image of their child and the sight of Meredith's fingers still gripping his wrist.
Finally, she looked back at him. She had pulled herself away from the strangely vulnerable place she had drifted to, and was grinning at him a little anxiously. "So…" she began slowly, biting down on the center of her lower lip as if embarrassed.
"So…?" echoed Derek curiously.
"So we have to do…stuff," answered Meredith as Derek frowned, her vagueness confusing him.
"Okay. What kind of stuff?" He tilted his head to the side, brushing his fingertips against her chin, his expression curious.
Meredith's eyes grew veiled, and she grinned at him almost wickedly before shrugging, and saying, "Baby stuff." She wrinkled her nose and glanced back at the screen--smiling at her child--before turning back to Derek. "Like a crib, I guess. And bottles. Just, stuff…" She trailed off, her voice becoming suddenly uncertain as she searched Derek's eyes. "If you want to," she amended quietly. "If you don't want to, that's fine. I can just order stuff online, or maybe I…"
"Meredith," interrupted Derek, stopping her before she could stammer out further anxious possibilities. "Of course I want to."
"You do?" For a moment, she looked genuinely surprised, but managed to quickly swallow her astonishment as Derek nodded his head.
"Of course I do."
"Okay," she said quietly. "In that case, we should probably get diapers too. Apparently we'll need lots of those." She smiled wryly at him, eyes flashing, and Derek grinned in response.
"So I've heard." Meredith rolled her eyes, suddenly laughing and relaxing once again, however, her fingers didn't loosen their grip on Derek's wrist in the slightest.
"Well, I'm pretty much done here…" Josh's voice came suddenly into their conversation, and Meredith turned to find him writing a final note in her chart.
"And…?" Meredith asked apprehensively, trying to guess at whether anything was wrong with her child by the set of Josh's jaw alone. Before she could make up her mind, he looked back up, shooting her a reassuring grin.
"And everything looks great," he said. "The baby's a little small, but that's to be expected with the stress you were under." Meredith nodded, unconsciously digging her nails into Derek's wrist. He simply lifted his free hand in response, smoothing her hair out of her face. "Just make sure you're eating enough," continued Josh, closing her chart with a heavy snap. "Especially since you're about to go back to work."
"Okay," agreed Meredith quietly.
Josh nodded his head, brown eyes brightening warmly. "That's it then, unless you wanted to know the sex of the baby?"
"Oh, we already know," said Derek brusquely as he leaned down, and helped Meredith sit back up.
"Of course. Right, you had an ultrasound at Seattle Grace," said Josh, nodding again as Meredith shook her head.
"We don't know." She frowned up at Derek, narrowing her eyes. "Derek, what are you talking about? Did you look in the file without me?"
"No." He shook his head, a smug grin playing at the corners of his mouth. "But we've been staring at the ultrasound for half an hour. You don't know?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at her.
"I think I do," she snapped, folding her arms over her chest. "But I wasn't trying to read the ultrasound. I just have a feeling." She turned back to Josh, smiling politely. "Derek doesn't know, but we'd like to know."
"Oh," said Josh, the faintest hint of a smirk shadowing his face. "Okay."
"I know," said Derek indignantly.
Meredith grinned, and looked up at him. "Since when does neurosurgery involve reading fetal ultrasounds?" she asked, giggling softly as she tilted her head to the side.
"I can read an ultrasound," he replied, leaning forward and smirking at her. "Maybe he can't," he added in a low voice, tilting his head towards Josh. "But I can." Meredith rolled her eyes, whacking him in the chest.
"Derek…" she intoned, pursing her lips together. He just shrugged and grinned again, turning to look at Josh, who had a thin polite veneer of a smile spread across his face.
"Well, she's only at twenty-one weeks, so don't worry if you can't," he interjected, his voice taking on a rough edge that equaled Derek's. Meredith glanced back and forth between the two men who had once again resumed glaring at each other, before letting out a frustrated sigh, and flopping back against the textured surface of the exam table.
"It's a girl," she snapped, her voice heavy and tinged with annoyance. Her comment was met with a stunned silence as both men turned to look at her. The lack of reply unsettled her, and she started to doubt what she had been suspecting. Her eyes flew back open, and she glared up at them. "Right?"
They both nodded their heads. "It's a girl," they said in unison.
"See? Told you I had a feeling," muttered Meredith, tugging on her gown before sliding from the exam table, her feet reaching down to find the floor.
"You did," agreed Josh, his expression brightening once again into a slightly crooked grin. "Congratulations." Meredith just nodded, twisting a strand of her hair around her finger. "Anyway," he continued, glancing back and forth between her and Derek. "You're good to go. It was great to see you again Meredith." He reached his hand out to shake hers, but she rolled her eyes, and stepped forward onto her tiptoes, pulling him into a quick and slightly unbalanced hug.
"Sorry he was kind of an ass," she breathed in a faint hush of a whisper, still wincing at the memory of the past forty minutes. But Josh just shook his head, straightening back up and squeezing her arm reassuringly.
"Alright," he continued, heading towards the door. "Good luck with your daughter." He smiled fondly at Meredith, his brown eyes warm as he added, "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call."
Derek's expression--which had turned into an angry scowl at the sight of them hugging--darkened immeasurably at that. "She won't need anything," he answered shortly. Meredith frowned as well, raising her voice to speak over him.
"Thanks Josh," she said with a smile as he nodded his goodbye. A moment later, the door closed with a sharp click, and Meredith whirled around to glare at Derek, her green eyes close to blazing. "Well that was charming, really," she said crossly.
Derek just nodded. "I thought so, yes," he answered, his mouth contorting into a pleased smirk. Meredith's eyebrows rose high in frustration, and she stepped back from him, reaching around to yank fiercely on the ties to her gown. After watching her struggle for a few minutes, Derek walked around behind her, easing the strings from her fingers.
"I can do it," she said, her voice indignant, but Derek just smiled and shook his head.
"Not very well." Meredith sighed, knowing it wasn't worth protesting when it was impossibly difficult to reach around and undo the knots behind her back. Derek worked quickly, sliding the gown down to reveal bare shoulders as she glowered resolutely at the floor. "Mer," he tried as she stepped completely out of the gown, and moved to pull on her street clothes. She turned back around to look at him, but didn't say anything. "Ah…now you're mad at me," he continued, smiling at her. Meredith's eyes just darkened as she slid her feet into her shoes. Folding her arms over her stomach, she stared up at him, her lower lip jutting out slightly. Derek sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "Come on. I'm sorry. I was an ass."
"You were," agreed Meredith, finally replying. "Josh was just doing his job. And the kissing…he didn't do it to hurt you." A frown was still tugging on the corners of Derek's mouth, but it lessened slightly at the sound of her voice, and he forced himself to nod despite his own opinion of the doctor. He stretched his hand out to her, sighing inwardly with relief when she accepted it, letting him pull her close. She stared up at him uncertainly, her annoyance melting away as he laced his fingers with hers, his thumb tracing small circles on the back of her hand.
"Sorry," he mumbled, leaning forward and brushing his lips against hers.
"Okay," she whispered back quietly, speaking into his mouth. Meredith let her lips linger there, kissing him slowly, before suddenly drawing back to look up at him. "Derek…" she said, her voice growing light as she stared into his eyes.
He nodded his head, grinning in response to her sudden smile. "Meredith?"
"We're having a daughter." As she stared up at him, the reality finally started to settle in, and she found herself unable to keep from throwing her head back, laughing in a sudden unexpected burst of excitement. Derek's lips pressed against the newly exposed curve of her neck before he lifted her easily in his arms, spinning her so that her hair became a golden flag flying back over her shoulders.
"I know," he agreed, his voice low and happy as he pulled her close to him, setting her carefully back down on the ground. His voice was an excited perfect echo of her own. "We're having a daughter."
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And yeah…where to start? I have no clue. I do have the desire to ramble endlessly tonight though, so...feel free to just stop reading now. I'm about to say nothing of import whatsoever. But anyway, I guess I start at the beginning. Let's see…Derek is excited about the baby. Very much so. The guy reads baby books, and then makes his girlfriend crappy breakfast (sorry, I'm not an oatmeal girl, so neither is Mer) because he wants the baby to have good food. And, Izzie and George were there again, and they've warmed up to him a bit since the last time they saw him because well, he's pretty much living with them now, and they need to make that manageable. Besides, they love Mer, and Mer loves Der, and that means they're going to try to be this big messy family with breakfast and everything. And you know, Mer/Der just got back together, and so they're still largely in the happy stage of being back together. So, they needed something that was fairly lighthearted and fun. Except of course for the Dr. McBabies portion of the meal.
Because yes, Mer had a brief but genuine friendship with the guy, and she didn't see the point in canceling this appointment she'd made way back before she'd gotten sick. Only of course, Derek is coming. And, he is not a fan of Josh. At all. In fact, he pretty much hates the man on principle. Because Derek…I don't care what he says about not getting jealous. He is ridiculously jealous of any other man being with Meredith. And so, at Josh's office, Derek is a bit of an ass. Even though Mer was really, really hoping that he'd behave himself, especially since Josh had no idea Derek knew about the kiss, no idea that Mer/Der were reunited, he pretty much just had angry Derek sprung on him. And, Derek sorta, kinda tried to behave himself occasionally. But not really. Because Josh kissed Meredith, and, while he's gotten past the Meredith kissing Josh part of the equation, he's definitely not past the Josh kissing Meredith portion. And, he has no real reason to try to, so…he's not exactly friendly to the guy. But, Josh does stand up for himself a bit because while he did kiss Mer, she was single and Derek was married. And he's kinda annoyed that Mer is with Derek because all he knows about the guy is that he lied to Mer about his wife, got her pregnant, and then proceeded to live with his wife for months, making Mer miserable. And, he adores Mer. So yeah…a bit of a clash there, which ends up really getting to Mer by the end.
And…what else? Meredith is doing pretty good. She's happy, and she's got Derek. However, she's not used to simply having everything fall into place, and she's having a hard time simply believing that it has. Doubts keep springing up in her mind, and part of her is very much in the mindset of oh, well…better enjoy this now because who knows how long it'll last. Because it takes time to rebuild all that trust that got broken, to completely erase all the pain she was put through while Derek tried with Addison. However, they're moving in the right direction. And…they're having a girl. Hee! And, even in the midst of everything else with the Josh/Derek drama and Mer's own issues, they're very happy. They're giddy.
That's about it. Sorry I rambled soooo much tonight. I think it's because my brain is still broken from yesterday night. Which…oh my god…Grey's. You are awesome. Tres, tres awesome. Hee… Thanks so much for reading!