I do not own Heroes

Books, Books, Books…That's all you could see. That's how she liked it. She inhaled the deep scent of the aged paper that surrounded her. A lingering scent of Jasmine whispered across it. There she sat in her perfect haven dark and deep, secluded. Her black hair washing across her face, and her white hospital gown crumpling at her waist, so full of starch that she could barely move it. She smiled knowing the pain she inflicted upon this poor girl, still alive, still thriving. Controlling and unwilling to die.

"Why don't you give up? Why do you keep suffering like this? What's the point?"

Lily smiled; her little resting spot in the back of Sheila's head was very comfortable one. Dark and warm; no not warm, hot, burning hot, hell. Lily crumpled her nose as the scent of Jasmine got stronger mixing with cinnamon and sandalwood. She found it to be repulsing. But if Sheila knew how to do one thing it was repulsing Lily. Lily could do the same thing to Sheila, Lily wanted Sheila to herself, she wanted to keep her and kill her so she could take over and live again. Sheila was still herself at her job. Filing books, calm as ever.

"Because, I can take it. It's worth it to get rid of you."

She said quietly, students were rushing about taking out book, studying and reading. Boys desperately searching for a few old playboys in the magazine section. She smiled and hummed, her heart and emotions were killing her, and her head was throbbing, but her mask stayed in place.

"Oh, all high and mighty you are. With your new haircut and your stalker."

"Oh, all high and mighty you are. Living like a parasite in the back of my head."

"Touché"

Lily said grudgingly. She pulled her knees to her chest and smiled again.

"So how about that Mohinder? And Sylar? Which one do you want to fuck more?"

Sheila sucked on her teeth and bit her lip. When did Lily become crude? Lily was always so sweet and kind?

"Why?"

"Just want to know, I can't read your thoughts, I am one person, my own being separate from you. Tell me."

Sheila glared down at a book like it was Lily.

"I won't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because, I want it to be a surprise to you. And stop being so crude you're starting act like me."

"Oh what a shame."

After that Lily remained silent for a while. Most of the day actually, Sheila's headache went away and she continued to file, humming and smiling like a good librarian. Inside she felt horrible, she felt like she was gonna cry or puke or something. Some horrible twisting feeling like Lily was grabbing her heart and stomach and twisting them around inside her. She looked at the clock, lunchtime. She went out to grab food; the cold New York City air stung her ears and nose. It was bracing and refreshing. She walked straight past restaurants and take out places, straight into central park. She sat in front of the lake, the park was empty, rain was going to come soon and no body wanted to be caught in it. Tears tried to force their way to the surface but she wouldn't, she would just keep that euphoric smile on her face, fooling herself, fooling everyone. She did everything she could to keep herself that way, she thought of Mohinder, when she first came to New York, when she met Claire. Nothing could alleviate this though. It helped but not completely. She thought of Sylar, he had been Gabriel; he had been someone then turned into someone else…maybe that's why he was as problematic as her. Hot tears spilled down her still smiling face. Rain joined it and her mask broke. Shattered before her, almost to never be used again. What did she feel? Who was she? When the mask was broken she had to look at everything she was trying to hide. If she didn't grab hold of herself she would be thrown right back in the loony bin.

"Why?...I need help…I need something…"

She said running her hand through her wet hair, rain beat down on her like a drum. Heavy and cold, she looked at the sky and said quietly.

"Behind every storm there is a sunny day."

She laid back on the bench, she was already soaked, it made no difference. She probably looked dead, lying there all limp and pale, soaked to the bone, she didn't care. She felt her lips turning blue in the cold, she was starting to shiver. She didn't move, she though of this as purification. Rain helped her think. She closed her eyes and slipped off into suspended state between dream world and reality. Utter clarity, she sorted everything out best she could, Placing things into different categories in her mind. Mohinder and Sylar went under the 'Standing by for Processing' place mark. And everything else went under 'Utter Rubbish'. Funny how she still felt like crap after the half assed job of sorting things out. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she opened her eyes.

"Hm?"

She asked looking up, a man with a round soft face, light stubble and black hair. Very caring looking, like a big brother or maybe a dad. He had a look of slight concern on his face he was holding his umbrella over both of them.

"Are you okay? Your lips are blue."

Sheila sat bolt upright and put her fingers to her lips, they were numb too.

"Oh…I think I'm okay…"

She said getting up and feeling very heavy and soggy. Rain was still beating down hard and she pulled her jacket over her tightly to hide her uniform white blouse.

"Are you sure? How long have you been out here? You could get hypothermia."

Sheila gave a small smile; it was all she could manage. She definitely wasn't okay but she was still breathing and walking and talking she'd be just fine. At least that's what she thought.

"I don't know, I left for lunch at 12:00…."

She said shaking her head. The man checked his watch.

"You've been out here for three hours. You should go home before you freeze to death."

"Yeah, works over anyways."

As if she couldn't get anymore pathetic she started to cough. She tried to suppress it.

"Damn it…"

She said lightly and standing up straight. Making sure she didn't look as pathetic as she felt.

"I'm fine, Thank you for asking, I'll be going."

She said briskly, walking past him. He gave her a look like her could see through her weak attempt at hiding the weakness.

"What's your name?"

He asked smiling lightly.

"Sheila, Sheila Hogan."

"Matt Parkman."

She turned and smiled a little Matt, it fit him. To her he looked like a teddy bear, something she could hug and squeeze until he squeaked. She thought about that and it made her giggle mentally.

"Nice to meet you Matt."

"Do you have a car? I could give you a ride home."

"Thanks. I'm just coming across all kinds of people who feel the need to save my sorry little ass."

She said smiling a little and crossing her arms over her chest a little. Her red hair stuck to her face and she looked like a puppy left out in the cold too long. Matt laughed, she looked a little down on her luck but 3 hours in the rain will do that to a person. Sheila felt like the day she did when she met Mohinder, maybe it was just her destiny to be Cinderella.

"I can't imagine."

She followed him, she had pepper spray in her pocket, a stiletto in her bra, and she felt safe traveling with strangers. Matt seemed trust worthy enough but he kept giving her strange glances as she walked next to him, it was freaking her out. When they got in the car he finally said something.

"Your powers…you make black holes?"

Sheila's eyes widened enough to rival a giant squids, she started for the door handle but matt grabbed her hand. He gave her a gentle look.

"It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm like you."

Sheila calmed down a little, and put her hands in her lap, Matt started the car. She gulped a little.

"You can read minds?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"How else would you know, the only people who know are Peter, Claire, and Mohinder."

"I see. Systematic thinking. I know it all, I'm a cop."

Sheila's eyes widened again and she kept a tight hold on her wallet that contained a fake I.D., she wasn't the most law abiding citizen on earth. She was 18 and a constant drunk, she had destroyed her house, and set a few things on fire she shouldn't have…like her school. She turned red and turned away, she knew he could hear her thoughts, nothing about her was safe, she felt really exposed knowing not even her thoughts were safe in this car. But what scared her most was Lily, lily was up there and if Matt stumbled onto her he would be the one in trouble not her.

"It's okay I'm not going to scour your brain for lost thoughts, and I'm not on duty, I don't even live here."

"It's not me I'm worried about."

She said looking him in the face, her hair had started to dry off and it frizzed a little bit, she was still soaked to her underwear, and she still looked like a lost puppy. She made a mistake by saying that, now he just wanted to find out what it was about. He did a quickly once through on her thoughts and like static fuzz on a radio a small distinct voice wormed its way through to his attention it started small and got louder it sounded odd. A little distorted at first but getting clearer.

"Geb oud…. get oub….. Get out! Get out! Get out!!!!!"

Matt slammed on the brakes, he wasn't paying attention, a loud 'Scree!' woke him from his scour. Sheila screamed, they nearly hit another car on a narrow intersection. They were both breathing heavily and trying not to freak, after a bit a low giggle came from Sheila's throat and turned into laughter. Matt was trying to tell whether she was nuts or if she had hit her head. The voice in her head that was actually aware of his presence told him she was crazy, she he kept his hand on his gun which was in his pocket.

"I'm sorry, I mean, Oh my god! What a rush!"

She said looking for the handle of the door, she wanted out the laughter was a little involuntary. It was half her half Lily. Lily likes seeing her being scared and she was just nervous. Her excuse was half baked and made her sound like a thrill seeking, adrenaline freak. Which she kinda was but not to the extremes, a bar fight was good enough for her.

"No, don't, you're not going anywhere. Your psycho, I heard that voice and don't think I didn't and I know you're lying!"

"let me leave please, I don't want to hurt you! I don't want to hurt me, please, if you have any decency, if you can read my thoughts you'll know I'm not lying. Just let me go and forget you ever met me it's just…Bye!"

She yanked her hand from his grip, he didn't even realize that he grabbed her wrist, and ran. She opened the door and ran out into the middle of traffic, dodging cars and running onto the street, running until she couldn't. She found herself at her apartment, how she didn't know, how long she ran, she didn't know. All she knew was that she was glad to have clothes a shower and a bed. She hated Lily she hated her with every fiber of her being. What she hated most is that Lily was her, she used to be Lily. Lily was selfish, Lily was aggressive, Lily didn't want to let go, Lily liked her home, Lily didn't want to leave. As Sheila stood in the shower, she thought herself over and decided to kill Lily tonight; Mohinder had once told her that she was strong, that she had endured more than anyone he had ever known and that Lily was merely something she could overcome and that she didn't have to sink to Lily's level. But she didn't care, she wanted to sink down to her level, play dirty…and that's when it hit her. Lily was Chaste, Lily was virgin and so was Sheila. Lily was also very picky, she had planned to save herself until marriage and Sheila knew just how to get rid of her. She needed a murderer, a murderer who was fond of her, who would do what she asked, she needed Sylar.

"Don't you even think it!"

"Think what Lily dear?"

"That!! You're planning on getting rid of me by sleeping with that-that disgusting killer!!!"

"Maybe I am."

"You, Oh I don't even have a name for it!!!! You will die, you will!!!I hate you!!"

"I hate you too Lily dear, now time for heavy drinking and numbification."

She said getting out of the shower and scouring her closet, she had never been so cheerful. The Merry Murderer…well she really wouldn't be murdering Lily, Sylar would, and Sheila really wouldn't be hiring him as a hit man, she'd be more enlisting him as an escort. She dried her hair and ate some dinner. She was wearing a tight black dress made out of something at felt like plastic but was really velvet; she swore they just line them with melted soda bottles. She grabbed a black shawl and her fake I.D.; Sheila felt like she was walking on air as she went out, grabbing her umbrella at the door and stepping out into the rain.

"Walking on sunshine I'm walkin' on sunshine who-hoa! Makes me feel good!!!"

She sang loudly and walking into a bar that was few blocks down. She had fun, drinking whisky, rum, and a few other oddly colored beverages that she had a hard time pronouncing through her drunken slurr. She stumbled out of the bar, carrying a bottle of rum, swigging from it ever few stumbled steps.

"Hey Shylahr!!!!! Hey yeah!!! I know you can hear me you shon of Biath!!!! I'm tired of it!!! I need your help!!! Just please…don't leave me…"

She said going into a drunken breakdown falling flat on her face after hitting a crack in the sidewalk of the back alley she was taking. It was slick and dirty, she looked at someone's feet, and they were off white sneakers that were scuffed up from use.

"You'll drink yourself to death."

He said kneeling down and pulling her up by the front of her dress and dusting her off. After wiping street grime from the tip of her nose he kissed her very deeply. Less rough than he had in the apartment, softer, more compassionate. He learned that if you scare it, it runs. Fast learner. She complied, kissing him back, her mouth tasted like liquor and cocktail onions. The drunk's breath freshener, she was rough though, biting his lip and grabbing his face hard, almost bruising it. He was holding her by the waist; if one of them wasn't drunk they would've had their fun in that alley way but Sylar had the sense to coax her back to her apartment. When he opened the door it took him a few seconds to recognize it. He froze for a bit.

"Mmmm?...Wazzup? Are you okay?"

Sheila asked swigging from her rum bottle.

"I killed a man here."

He said excitedly, smiling and peeling off Sheila's shawl, throwing it in a corner. Her black dress fit like cellophane and for the first time he noticed just how short her hair was.

"What'd you do? Loose a fight with a weed whacker?"

He asked running his hand through it and frowned; he would have a hard time holding onto hair this short. Sheila stuck out her lower lip and flushed even deeper than she had been from her drunken state.

"Oh shaddup and loose the clothes!"

She said putting down her bottle of liquor and tackling him. Determined. What happen was a hot, drunk barrage of Murder. Sheila's head was filled with a horrible screaming, loud and piercing, was it her? Was it Lily? Who? She wouldn't stop, she wouldn't give in, she felt hot, burning…On fire. When she closed her eyes she saw fire, bright lights behind her eyes, or was it just her bangs? Sylars touch was hot and whispery, like the licks of burning fire, she realized then that Lily was dying, consumed by fire like how her story had told, she now knew exactly what she was writing about. She could breathe, it was over. They lay there on the floor on the explosion painted there, naked, exposed. Sylar got up and looked down; Sheila had a crestfallen look in her face, almost dead. For a second he wondered if he had accidentally killed her. He saw her chest rise and fall slowly, her breasts were small and proportioned to her body perfectly, her arms delicate and willowy, her legs thin. When she was sprawled like that she looked like a fairy that had lost it's wings and fallen.

"Sylar?"

She asked, her eyes glazed and her face serene.

"yeah?"

"Thank you…for killing her."

She said, leaving him puzzled, Kill who? He hadn't killed anyone; He decided she had simply had too much to drink and that she needed to drink a lot of water and sleep.

"Sure thing Princess."

He said lifting her up and placing her on her bed, she fell softly onto the white comforter, her tan skin and red hair standing out brilliantly against it. She nearly nodded off, Sylar quickly pulled on a robe he found on the floor that was about half a size too small for him and grabbed her some water. He may be Psycho but he was still logical and rather caring. He brought it back to her and woke her up.

"Hey, you don't want a hang over tomorrow do you?"

He asked handing her the water. She drank it down spilling a little onto her chest, he smiled as she looked at him, curling into a fetal position and smiling lightly. She kissed his forehead and fell asleep. If it was any other time, he'd be scared she got pregnant but he was pretty sure she had it under control considering that he had seen the anti pregnancy "Quick Dissolve" strips on her table. Right now he felt pretty good about himself, a beautiful girl he liked had just willingly, if not imperatively had, had sex with him, she was smiling and he was ready to go to sleep. He took off the robe and crawled into bed with her, holding her around the waist, her body perfectly fitting into the curve of his. Like that he fell asleep, cool air washing over him, heat radiating from Sheila, right then he felt like nothing bad could ever happen, he fell asleep and for once he didn't have a nightmare.

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Hope you liked it, I know it's been a little dull lately but I really need some inspiration to tide me over until I can finally break in an old Idea I had.