Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

A Sense of Belonging

Chapter Ten

In the morning, Michaela awoke early to get a head start on the day. She wanted to have plenty of time to drop by her gynecologist's office. Last night as she lay in bed, she considered simply doing the test herself but she wanted to be as positive as she could be about the results. Inside she felt so conflicted. The thought of telling Sully she was indeed pregnant excited her. She would love to see that look in his eyes again. Yet the thought of telling her mother she was pregnant filled her with dread. "I'm worse than a teenager," she whispered to herself as she slipped out of her room to eat some cereal. No one else was up yet and Michaela was glad for the solitude.

Moving out onto the stone patio with her bowl of cereal in hand, the morning air was cool but she didn't mind. Her thoughts turned quickly to her mother once again and she knew that her sisters were right. The only way to have some sort of closure on everything was to talk to her mother but she was still hesitant to do so. Things were so compounded one on top of the other that it was hard to sort through the various layers of their conflict. It had all began when she moved to Colorado in the first place. Michaela only wanted a fresh start, a new place after the traumatic year she'd experienced. First there was David's deception and then a few months later her father's unexpected death.

Colorado wasn't even in her mind when she first decided to look outside of Boston. Yet a friend from medical school emailed her that they were looking for someone to work in the neo-natal unit at Memorial Hospital in Colorado Springs. When she flew out for the interview, she'd fallen in love with the mountains and general atmosphere of the place. It was a dream come true when they called her to say she had the job. Yet her mother was displeased. All of her children lived in Boston and that was how she liked it. When Michaela packed the last of her belongings in the back of her car and set off across the country, she would have sworn that her mother would never speak to her again. Of course she did and that was the sole thing that still gave her hope now.

It occurred to Michaela then that the situation was probably much larger than she thought. True that she wasn't happy with Michaela's choices in general, but with her daughter marrying and remaining in Colorado, it would mean that contact with her and her grandchildren would be limited. This had never occurred to Michaela before and the more she thought about it she realized how this too played into the equation.

The thought of children brought her back again and she tried to recall the details of her last period – if it was short or strange in any way. Raising her hand to her chest, she lightly pushed on both her breasts swearing that the area around the nipples felt tender. She quickly discounted the enthusiastic love making session of the night before as the culprit, automatically assuming the worst. This style of thinking continued throughout the morning, where she skipped her usual coffee just to be on the safe side and neglected once again to take her birth control pill knowing if she was pregnant it would be detrimental. At work the smell of coffee in the break room made her nauseous and she counted five trips to the bathroom in the morning alone. By the time she drove herself to the gynecologist's around lunchtime, she was certain she was pregnant. The receptionist waved her on back, thinking she was there for a consult about a case which was fine with Michaela.

A rich booming voice cut through the hallway. "Michaela?"

She turned with a wide smile on her face. "Dr. Bernard," she said in greeting as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"I thought you were going to come by next week for our consult on the Donovan's."

"Actually, I'm here to see your daughter." She met Cassie soon after moving to Colorado and had instantly taking a liking to her and her father. Just as she and Josef had worked together so did they, and Michaela loved them for that.

Knowing that her reply meant it was for personal reasons, he simply nodded. "Course I'm always grateful for an opportunity to see my favorite pediatrician."

"It's nice to see you too," she said leaning up to give him a kiss on the cheek before starting back down the hall.

"Don't be such a stranger," he called after her. "Oh and bring that fiancé of yours around sometime. I want to meet him."

"I will," she said before disappearing around the corner. The door to Cassie's office was already open as Michaela stepped into the doorway. "Knock, knock."

Cassie looked up. "Come on in, Michaela," she said warmly.

Michaela did, closing the door and then dropping down into the chair across the desk from her. "Busy morning?" she asked looking at the pile of folders on the edge of the desk.

The small dark haired girl nodded. "It seems every one of my patients is all of a sudden pregnant." The color on Michaela's cheeks deepened and Cassie noticed right away. "You too?"

"I don't know," Michaela replied in a small voice. "That's why I'm here."

"Have you taken a home pregnancy test?"

"No."

"Missed a period?"

"No."

"Gone off your birth control?

"Well not really… I've missed the last three days but today only because I thought maybe I was pregnant." She looked up embarrassedly, suddenly realizing how all this must sound. "I've been so tired lately and using the bathroom frequently. Last night I got sick right after… well at an odd time."

Cassie couldn't help the grin on her face. "You're worse than some of my teenage patients, Dr. Quinn," she laughed. "I would say it's a fairly safe bet that you aren't pregnant but we'll do a test anyway." Michaela nodded gratefully. "Course three missed pills means you'll need to use other protection."

Michaela nodded. "Right," she said. "We will."

"Okay, let's see about that test."

Sully took a final look around the building site and nodded. "We're making good progress," he said to the foreman of his building crew. "I think we should have the house framed by next week."

The foreman nodded in agreement. "As long as it don't rain, I don't see no reason why we wouldn't."

The ringing of Sully's cell phone split the air and he reached down to disconnect the phone from his belt to check the number. When he saw that it was Michaela, he turned back to the foreman. "Excuse me for a minute."

"Certainly," the foreman replied watching him step away.

"Hello."

"It's me." Sully swallowed hard when he heard her voice, unable to tell if she was happy or upset. "I'm not pregnant," she added quickly so as not to leave Sully in the dark a moment longer.

"You sound disappointed. Are you?"

"Oh..well.. no... I actually…umm I'm at the pharmacy. I'm calling because I'm at the pharmacy."

Sully chuckled into the phone. "You're calling because you're at the pharmacy? Is that some kind of code or something?"

"Sully," she chastised him for teasing her even though she knew she had in fact sounded strange. "I need your help."

"With what?"

"I missed three pills and so we need to use other… umm..."

"Protection?" Sully guessed.

"Right." Her voice was low obviously kept that way to avoid others from hearing her conversation. Sully tried to picture her standing in the store actually saying these words and had the urge to ask her where she was right that second.

Glancing at his watch, he smiled to himself. "You went right from the doctor to the store?"

"I just wanted us to be prepared in case." Her voice was high pitched, the tone it took when she was on the defensive.

"Don't get all defensive. I'm incredibly turned on by that," he laughed to disarm her. He imagined her cheeks blushing as he spoke. "So what's the problem?"

"Well they come in sizes. I mean I knew they came in sizes … but I …" A deep sigh escaped her mouth as she stopped trying to explain.

"They come in flavors too."

"Sully, I'm being serious."

"I am too," he laughed and then knew he was pushing her too far. "Sorry," he uttered hastily. "Listen.. ah… you don't need to worry about it. I'll take care of that part."

"Well I'm already here now."

"I have the right kind at my house already." There was a silence on the other end of the line after he spoke which left Sully wondering what she was thinking. "You weren't the only one who was prepared," he finished.

On the other end of the line, Michaela smiled broadly remembering when she'd told him about being on the pill. "Well then, I'll head back to work."

"Have you talked to your mom?" Sully interjected quickly before she hung up.

"No, but I will."

"Tonight? Promise?"

"Tonight. I promise," she replied. "Love you."

"Love you too," he added before closing the phone. Looking back at the house, he smiled unable to wait for the day when they lived here together as man and wife.