Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

A Sense of Belonging

Chapter Fifteen

Having finished rounds a little early that morning, Michaela was able to complete a few wedding preparations. She contacted Pastor Johnson at the church they attended and he seemed excited to help even if it was short notice. He'd been asking since they became engaged when they would set a date. The only stipulation was that he wanted to meet with them tonight for a premarital counseling appointment. After that, Michaela made a few phone calls and managed to hire a photographer who was an art student over at the college. Leaning back against her chair, she smiled at her success while her stomach reminded her it was lunchtime.

As if on cue, a knock came to the door and Sully stuck his head in. "Hey," he said casually slipping inside with a bag in hand.

Michaela rose and met him in the middle of the room, greeting him with three feathery kisses before pressing her lips hard against his. Sully wrapped his free arm around her waist to keep her from moving away. "How's the morning been?"

"Pretty good, actually. I feel like I've managed to accomplish quite a bit including getting Monday off." She smiled up at him. "Perhaps we can go away for Saturday and Sunday night. A little mini honeymoon if you will."

"Sounds nice." Sully leaned down to kiss her once more unable to resist her swollen lips. "I managed to reserve the park and hire the table and chairs so I would say my morning was rather successful as well."

"Oh and I talked to Pastor Johnson. He's fine with the short notice but he wants to meet with us tonight for a sort of premarital counseling session."

"Do you think we need that?"

Michaela gave a little shrug. "I suppose it couldn't hurt. Besides there are things we haven't talked about." As she spoke, she pulled away from his embrace settling on the couch and softly patting the cushion beside her. Sully quickly acquiesced, passing the bag which contained her lunch. "Where's yours?

"I ate on the way over in the car. I missed breakfast this morning," he said raising his eyebrows slightly as a reminder of their time together in the shower. Sully reached down and pulled her feet into his lap, quickly ridding her of the clogs and socks.

"What are you doing?" Michaela laughed.

"Pampering you. The bride deserves to be pampered." As he spoke, his hands began a deep massage of the balls of her feet, knowing this was usually the sore place.

"And I'm trying to think what we still need to talk about."

As she reached in the bag to find her lunch, she considered Sully's last statement. "We haven't discussed who will take care of the finances." Sully nodded but remained quiet. "And well… I think there are things in our past we still don't know about each other."

Sully continued to work on her feet as he spoke. "What don't I know about you?"

Michaela gave a little shrug as she took the first bite of her sandwich, Abigail lingering in her mind.

"It this about Abby?" He could see the pink on her cheeks and knew that her curiosity wouldn't let her leave this alone. "What is it that you want to know?"

Michaela took another bite of her sandwich quickly to give herself a chance to figure out how to word her question. Sully looked over at her knowingly and she dropped her eyes. "You know that I was ..well… a virgin when we … made love." Her voice was no louder than a whisper now but Sully's continued movements against her feet encouraged her to continue. "I suppose I can't help wondering how I compare – if I'm doing things right."

A gentle laugh escaped Sully's throat. "Of course you're doing things right," he assured her. "I love being with you. I'm the one sneaking through your bedroom window at night." Michaela smiled at that thought as she took another bite of her food. "I don't compare you to Abigail."

"Never?"

Sully swallowed hard, deciding to simply tell her in order to quell her curiosity. He didn't mind telling her but it always made him feel rather foolish. "You know how it was for me growing up. When I married Abby, I entered a different world. Loren was against us from the start but he made me a manger in one of his stores simply because he wanted to know his daughter was taken care of. I used to try so hard – work late hours and such. I wanted to please Loren and Abby. I wanted to prove to them both that I could take care of her."

"Of course you did," Michaela added lovingly rubbing his arm.

"We'd only been married for about two years. I guess I never noticed how lonely Abby was. Work consumed me. One night she came to me crying, admitting that she's had an affair but that it was over now. Still, I was devastated." Sully wasn't looking at her now, his hands stilled against her feet. "I felt like such a failure."

"You stayed with her though." She gave his arm a light squeeze as she spoke, wanting to take away the pained look in his eyes."

Sully nodded. "I loved her. I wanted to make it work and she said that she wanted to as well. She was just tired of being ignored. She broke it off with him but.." Turning his face up to her, Michaela could see the hurt that still pooled in his eyes. Removing her feet from his lap, she pulled him over to her, letting his head rest against her shoulder. "Things are different with you Michaela." Closing his eyes, he breathed in deeply wanting her presence to penetrate every bit of his being. Sully's hand found hers and he entwined their fingers together. "When we're together, the world fades away. I can't explain it."

Michaela turned her head and kissed his forehead with feather light kisses, his words causing tears to gather in her eyes. Sully's ragged breath against her neck, stirred her. "The way you are with me… you make me feel like I'm the only man in the world that you want.'"

"You are," she whispered. "You always will be. I can't even imagine being with someone else."

Sully turned to look up at her, deep contentment in his eyes. Their lips met in a deep kiss, perfectly capturing the intensity of the moment. Michaela couldn't help but think of this morning and the way she'd shied away from telling her family about him and vowed that she would as soon as she arrived home. She loved this man before her with all her heart. Who cared about his past? Only their future mattered now.

Sully's cell phone rang almost as soon as he left the hospital. It turned out to be Rebecca asking that he join the Quinn sisters for a late lunch and some wedding planning. He didn't bother to tell them that he'd already eaten, partially because he didn't want them to know he'd seen Michaela. The fun of sneaking around to have secret trysts strangely excited him and he liked the mystery of their late night and lunchtime meetings.

When he arrived at the restaurant, he found Rebecca alone at the table. Elizabeth wasn't there yet. She was still with the florist right down the street and would join them shortly. Marjorie was only in the bathroom. "Oh Sully," Rebecca began extending her hand to him. "I'm so glad you could make it. I really need to finalize the guest list because invitations will go out this afternoon."

A deep crease settled between Sully's eyes. "How are you going to do that?"

"We've hired a messenger service to deliver each one this evening or tomorrow morning at the latest. I have to get them the invitations by three though. They're being printed right now."

Sully nodded and noticed the flash of red out of the corner of his eye that meant Marjorie was coming back. A smirk formed on her lips as she looked over at Sully. "Well hello yoga instructor," she laughed as she took her seat.

"Yoga instructor?" Again confusion was the chief emotion on Sully's face.

Marjorie raised her eyebrows as she spoke. "I heard some noises coming from Michaela's bedroom last night. Her story is that she was doing yoga. I thought you might be her instructor."

"Marjorie," Rebecca chastised as she tried to read the look on Sully's face.

"Don't worry Rebecca," Sully assured. "I'm sure Marjorie's just feeling a little jealous because she isn't doing any yoga right now."

Rebecca couldn't help smile at her sister's reddened cheeks, grateful that Sully knew how to give it right back to her. "Well then…who shall I add to the guest list on your behalf?"

"Cloud Dancing and Snowbird but I'll take care of getting the invitation to them. And my friend Daniel." He stopped and thought for a moment. "Everyone else Michaela knows too so I'm sure they're already invited."

Still stinging from Sully's comment, Marjorie decided to dig into the mysterious past of Sully. "Michaela said your parents passed away when you were young?"

Sully nodded. "They did."

Elizabeth arrived at that moment and Sully stood to pull out her chair for her. Elizabeth smiled in appreciation, impressed with Sully's social skills when it came to this sort of thing. "What a productive morning," she said whimsically. "I almost think it's easier to plan a wedding in a week than over a few months. You've booked the park Sully?"

"I have and I took care of the tents, tables and chairs."

"Good. I spoke to Michaela a few minutes ago and she has spoken to the Pastor as well as hired a photographer. I can't believe how nicely everything is coming together."

"Sully was just sharing with us about his childhood," Marjorie interjected, wanting to get back to the subject at hand.

"Oh, you were?" Elizabeth looked over at him with interest.

Sully gave Marjorie a strange look and then turned to his future mother in law. "I thought maybe Michaela told you?"

"She was going to tell us this morning but then she had to leave for work. I think she got up a little late from the way she was rushing about."

A smile formed on Sully's lips knowing he was the one who'd made her late. "Well if you want to hear about my family…" Three sets of eager eyes looked over at him and he knew that he wasn't going to be able to get away with not telling them. "Umm… where to begin? My parents were Droppers."

"Droppers?"

"There was a commune just south of Pueblo called Drop City. I started life there."

"Commune?" Elizabeth's face turned pale. "As in hippies?"

Sully gave a little shrug of his shoulders. "Well, umm.. yes. They believed in the Open Land movement so we moved back to the land. We lived in a VW microbus for awhile. I was five before I actually slept in a bed." He laughed as he said this last part, thinking of the expression on Michaela's face when he'd told her. The surprised looks that greeted him now were similar and Sully found himself enjoying the story telling. "My father was a painter. He became sick when I was about four. We practiced holistic medicine but it did little good against the aggressive cancer. He died right before my fifth birthday."

"I'm so sorry," Rebecca said reaching over and laying her hand against his arm. He saw Michaela's compassion then and Sully couldn't help but smile.

"My mother disappeared a few years later."

"Disappeared?" Marjorie asked, planning to say something else but her sister's scolding look stopped her.

"It wasn't that unusual. Everyone at the commune was like a parent to us kids and so at first no one even noticed. It was only after a week that it became obvious she was gone."

"You never found out what happened to her?"

Sully shook his head. "I know it seems strange but no one even reported her missing. It wasn't like people there trusted the cops or the government in any manner. Really life didn't change much for me. I was still a child of the commune – I still had parents and brothers and sisters in the other people who lived there. When the community broke up, a young couple took me with them. They took my friend Daniel too. His mother died from a drug overdose."

"Cloud Dancing and Snowbird?" Rebecca asked.

"Is that their real name?" Marjorie interjected. "Or is that their free love names?"

Ignoring her slur, Sully replied. "They're both Cheyenne." He saw the blank look on their faces. "Native Americans," he added and all three faces showed signs of recognition. "They left the Cheyenne reservation when they got together and soon became a part of Drop City. They choose to keep their traditional names."

"Where did you go after Drop City?" Elizabeth asked as she tried to keep her face from showing the horror she felt inside.

"All over. I saw the whole country. I protested in Washington. I lived on a cattle ranch for awhile. We went to music festivals, visited Haight-Ashbury, though by then it had changed drastically. I only left them when I met Abigail. She was speaking at a Greenpeace rally we attended."

Elizabeth wasn't interested in Abigail though, but only in what Sully's past might mean for Michaela's future. "When did you go to school?"

"Never did. I learned plenty from the places I went and the people I met. Snowbird would make us have formal lessons sometimes but in general I was free to do what I wanted."

To alee her own fear, Elizabeth couldn't help but ask, "But if you and Michaela have children, they'll go to school, won't they?"

Sully's eyes grew wide. "I suppose we'd let them choose."

The words hung in the air for a moment, no one saying anything. Even Rebecca knew that Michaela would never go for what Sully was suggesting. They obviously hadn't discussed it. The three woman exchanged glances, each knowing an inevitable fight was coming.