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Chapter Ten

Elliott Stabler sat with his aching head in his bandaged hands. He'd feebly protested the Emergency Room's staff's efforts to treat his injuries, but was eventually forced to acquiesce to their demands. He'd managed to avoid taking the painkillers he'd been offered, a move he was starting to regret. Stabler reluctantly left Bobby Goren's side during the ambulances' rides to the hospital; he hated leaving the badly injured detective alone, but felt the greater responsibility was to stay with Angela Corelli. As they waited for help in the terrible basement of the Claret house, the terrified woman had clung to Goren's hand as he drifted in and out of consciousness and had to be forced to leave his side.

"He saved me," she repeated to Stabler and the EMTS. "He was horribly hurt, but he saved me and kept me warm…Please…please take care of him…" It was only after many assurances that Goren would be safe and taken care of that her fears eased. Even then, she clutched Goren's leather jacket in the ambulance.

During the drive to the hospital, Angela provided an excellent description of the man who attacked and abused her, one that perfectly fit Gregory Claret. Stabler, a sickening feeling in his stomach, realized that her attacker clearly didn't intend for Angela to live and was probably on the verge of killing her just as Goren and he arrived at the house. Stabler also knew that if Goren hadn't been with him, it would have been necessary to wait for backup—resulting in Angela's death—or entering the house alone—resulting in Stabler and Angela's deaths.

Stabler stared at the hospital floor. "I owe my life to Bobby Goren," he thought. "I owe my life to the NYPD weirdo, a Major Case hotshot, a man that I accused of…of horrible crimes…I showed his worst nightmares..." Stabler shook his head. "And when he found that bomb, he didn't hesitate for a second…He pushed me out of the way…I was wrong…so wrong…"

He stared down the hallway. Police and deputies from every law enforcement agency in the area filled it—even the Claremont town constable had finally made an appearance. They were responding, of course, to a break in a highly publicized case, but also to help a wounded cop. Several bore the rolled sleeves and band aids of blood donors. Others cautiously approached Stabler to ask how he and Goren were doing. The truth was that he didn't know how Goren was doing, and it was driving him crazy. Angela Corelli was terrified and suffering from the cold, a lack of food and water, and her injuries, but the doctors believed the physically she'd be fine. And, thanks to Goren and Stabler's delicate handling of her, she had a good chance of mending mentally. But Goren…all Stabler knew was that the detective probably had a collapsed lung and a concussion and other injuries.

Stabler leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. "How," he thought. "How am I going to face Olivia and Eames? Or Goren? Hell, I just hope I get the chance to face Goren again…"

"Detective Stabler."

Stabler opened his eyes to see the state police detective who had quietly and efficiently taken charge of the crime scene and investigation. "Your partner and another NYPD detective—a Detective Eames—are nearly here…"

"Eames is Goren's partner," Stabler answered.

"And we found a body in one of the barns on the Claret property…an elderly woman who doesn't fit the other victims' profiles…"

Stabler groaned. "Probably a Mrs. Czechowski…She was a possible witness…Goren was worried about her…"

The state officer was sympathetic. "I'm sorry…It's small comfort…but it doesn't look like she was tortured…"

Stabler leaned forward and held his head in his hands again. "You're right…It's not much consolation…"

There was a commotion at the emergency room's entrance. Stabler looked up; Olivia and Alex Eames were not so quietly reading the riot act to the police and medical personnel gathered there. In spite of his dread to having to explain the night's events, Stabler was glad to see them.

Olivia reached him first. "Elliott," she said. "Are you all right?"

Stabler looked up at her. "Yea…just some cuts and bruises…thanks to Goren…"

"Bobby…" Eames said. "How's Bobby?"

"They…they won't tell me…" Stabler couldn't look at her. "But…I'm sorry, Eames…He didn't look good…I know he's in surgery…"

"Well, they'll tell me," Alex said and marched away.

"I don't envy the doctors and nurses who'll have to face her," Olivia said softly.

"Yea," Stabler said. "I was wrong about him, Liv…Completely wrong…Huang was right…He's incapable of doing anything…anything like…I didn't know anything about him."

"I don't think I'm the person you should apologize to," Olivia said gently.

Stabler stared down the hall. "I just hope I get the chance to do that."

Alex faced down several nurses until she found one who knew something about Bobby's case. "I want to speak with Robert Goren's doctor," she said forcefully.

The older woman looked at her sympathetically. "Right now, the doctors who know about his case are with him in surgery. I can tell you that he was badly hurt, but he was stable when they took him into the operating room. He has several bad lacerations and bruises…a concussion…His worst injuries are several broken ribs and a collapsed lung…"

Alex winced.

"There may be," the nurse continued gently. "Other internal injuries…He's had several units of blood…"

Alex's fingers were white from gripping the edge of the nurses' station.

"I promise," the nurse said. "As soon as we know anything…As soon as he's out of surgery…We'll let you know…"

"Did…did he say anything?" Alex asked.

"He drifted in and out…He was in a lot of pain but trying not to show it…" the nurse answered. "He was very worried about the woman who was hurt…and his mother…and he kept asking for someone named Alex…" She looked warmly at Alex. "I guess you're that Alex."

Alex stared at her feet. "Yes," she said when she could trust her voice. "I am."

As she left the station Alex nearly bumped into Captain Don Cragen.

"How's Goren?" he asked with concern.

"He's in surgery." Alex felt as if all of body's energy was draining on the floor. "One of his lungs collapsed…"

Cragen placed a strong and tender hand on her shoulder. "He's a tough, good guy…He'll be ok…"

Alex knew at that moment why Olivia Benson spoke of her captain with such respect and affection. Alex wanted nothing more than to bury her face in his shoulder.

"Why," she said fighting the impulse. "Are you here?"

"Ross and I decided he would handle things in the city while I took charge here…Ross wanted to come…He's worried about Goren…but he drew the short stick and has to deal with the Brass and the press." Cragen gently pressed her shoulder. "He wants you to concentrate on helping Goren…and to let him know as soon as you can about him…"

Exhaustion pressed against the back of Alex's eyes. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you," Cragen said. "To join Elliott and Olivia in the surgical waiting room and to do what they're doing."

Cragen walked with her to the waiting room. Alex entered and found Stabler stretched out on a couch and sleeping the unmoving sleep of the exhausted. Olivia, covered by a blanket, struggled to keep her eyes open.

"What's going on?" Alex asked in some confusion.

Olivia yawned and stretched. "Cragen insisted we get some sleep…or at least try to…"

Alex shook her head. "Sneaky dog…He told me to do what you two were doing…"

"Well," Olivia smiled. "He is in charge. And I'm too tired to argue with him right now…I talked to one of the nurses…They'll let us know as soon as Bobby is out of surgery…"

Alex stared at an inviting couch. Every bone in her body begged for sleep, but her mind buzzed with worry about Bobby.

"Alex." Olivia sat up. "He'll be all right…You gotta believe that."

"I'm trying to." Alex finally gave in to her body's demands and sat heavily on the couch.

"And I have bad news," Olivia said tentatively. "Just before he zonked out, Elliott told me the state police found Mrs. Czechowski's body on the farm…"

"Oh, God," Alex half prayed and half cursed.

In the end, her body's exhaustion overcame her mind's buzzing. Alex fought off sleep for as long as she could, but eventually succumbed to a dreamless sleep. When a gentle touch woke her, she felt only slightly less exhausted than before she slept. Alex blinked up at Olivia.

"I'm sorry to wake you," Olivia said. "But Bobby's out of surgery…"

Alex bolted up so quickly that her head spun.

"Easy," Olivia said as she sat next to Alex on the couch. "The nurse said they were moving him to a room…It'll be a few minutes until you can see him…The nurse said that one of the doctors will be here soon."

Alex trembled. "How…how did it sound?"

"She said Bobby got through the surgery ok, but it's still touch and go," Olivia said gently. "You want some lousy coffee?"

Alex looked across the room and saw Stabler still deeply asleep.

"Here you go," Olivia said as she handed Alex the coffee. "Lots of sugar."

"How did you know how I like my coffee?" Alex asked.

"Detective here, remember?" Olivia said lightly. "That, and I watched Bobby fix it for you enough times."

Alex sipped the coffee; it was bitter and strong and sweet. "Yea…Bobby always tells me I'm going to rot out my teeth…Oh, God, Olivia…I hope he's going to be ok…"

"I hope so, too," Olivia said and brushed her hand over Alex's shoulder.

A ridiculously young man wearing scrubs entered the room. "Alex Eames?" he asked.

"Here," Alex said in a weak voice. She felt as if she were back in Sister Joseph Francis' third grade class.

The young man stepped over to her. He looked tired. "I'm Dr. Phillips," he said. "I understand you're Robert Goren's medical representative?"

"Oh, no," Alex thought. "Something's gone wrong…"

Dr. Phillips sat across from Alex and Olivia. Alex felt Olivia gently gripping her arm.

"Mr. Goren got through the surgery very well," the doctor began.

Relief poured over Alex.

"Now, he's far from out of the woods," Phillips continued. "He has a lot of injuries, and he lost a lot of blood. He has a slight case of hypothermia…But there's a lot to be optimistic about…"

"How…how badly was he hurt?" Alex thought her voice seemed to belong to another person.

Phillips leaned forward. "He has a concussion…Some bad lacerations and bruises…But his worst injuries were broken ribs and a collapsed lung…There was some internal bleeding, but we seem to have that under control…"

"Can…can I see him?" Alex asked.

"Yes," the doctor said. "You'll probably do him some good…In the ER…when he was fading in and out…Mr. Goren kept asking for someone named Alex…I understand you're that Alex…"

Alex nodded.

"It will be scary…The bruises and cuts look bad, and there's a lot of equipment around him…We have him on a ventilator to take the stress off his lung…He's heavily sedated for the same reason…But we should start easing him off the ventilator and the medication in about forty eight hours…"

"His chances are good?" Olivia asked the question Alex couldn't.

Phillips nodded. "Very good…As I said…There's still danger…There's the possibility of infections, and he's very weak…But he should be ok…" Phillips stood. "I'm afraid only one person can see him…"

Without speaking, Alex and Olivia knew that Olivia would handle everything. Alex followed the young doctor to the ICU. As she walked down the unit, Alex tried to ignore the other patients, many of them hooked up to so many and so large of machines that they seemed to be strange robotic creatures. She tried to brace herself for the sight of Bobby in the same state.

"Here we are," Dr. Phillips said gently. "Like I said…it's a little scary…"

Alex hesitated at the glass door. Bobby didn't look quite as awful as some of the other patients. There weren't quite as many machines; he seemed somehow more alive, more human. But he was unnaturally still, and his skin was terribly pale in the few places where it wasn't bruised. Several blankets covered him; several tubes ran beneath them. Several machines surrounded him; many of them made reassuring bleeps and blips, but the largest was the ventilator aiding his breathing. Alex stepped closer to the bed. In spite of his size, Bobby looked fragile and vulnerable. She reached beneath the blankets and found his left hand.

"The rules," Dr. Phillips said. "Say that visitors are only supposed to stay for a few minutes each hour." He pulled a chair next to the bed. "But the nurses will ignore that if there's a good reason…And I'll let them know there's a good reason here." He gave her a quick smile, quickly checked Bobby, and left.

Alex sat next to the bed. She gripped his hand tightly. "Please," she whispered. "Please…please…get better…We…I…need you…please…"

End Chapter Ten