Bittersweet Melody: by hikari-aozora
Bold: parts of the chapter's song
Italics: a thought or flashback
Underlined: emphasis on words
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the KH, KH2, Disney, Final Fantasy Characters, etc, etc, that i may have used, unfortunately ... But I've been saving up my money! I have a whole $130 that I've managed not to spend! Thats a lot for me ... and I don't like shopping. The money just ... goes away ... to who knows where. Honestly ... I have no clue where my money keeps going ...
(A/N: Woohoo ... back again ... and out for the summer! YESS! Well, at least for this week anyway. Goin so summer school the next 3 weeks for, like, 6 riddiculous hours a day. Geez. But, I gotta get my health credit outta the way so I dont have to take it in highschool. Yup. Gonna be a freshman. From top dog to underdog in just 3 little months. How ... sad, I guess. No, more like ... awkward. Cuz at the same time I'm happy to be getting out of my freakishly poor middle school that promises the yearbooks are gonna b in color and then gets all cheap at the last minute ... arrghh! Well, you know, such is life. Oh yeah and, just so you guys know, cuz im really proud of myself, I beat KH2 ... twice ... and now I'm working on getting that secret ending I've heard about. Watching it in japanese on Youtube only goes so far ... cuz i dunno bout you people but I'm uno-lengual. Okay! Enough rambling ... its just that I stopped writing for so long so I could get "vibe" back that I missed doing this authors note stuff lol. Yeah! So! On with the story!)
CHAPTER EIGHT: Coming Undone
"So, tell me again why you came to get me in the middle of the night?" asked a perplexed Riku as he stood in his doorway, facing an obviously exhausted Sora. "I mean, even I dont go to bed that early on the weekends ... but this is really unlike you, Sora." He leaned cooly against the wooden frame of the door and crossed his arms. "What's up?"
Sora really didn't like those last two words. They meant ... more explainations. Sora's head was already pounding as waves upon waves of thoughts crashed into his skull in painful throbs. Of course, he knew Riku was the only one who could help him now. After all, Riku had been in relationships, before ... well, you know. But Sora really, really didn't want to have to explain it all again. Maybe I should have thought about that before I came to Riku.
The brunette sighed and let his body hunch over and his arms dangle below himself as he exhaled. Just the position he was in screamed that he was tired of all of this, that he was clearly under stress. But I guess I have no choice.
"Can I come in?" he asked his silver-haired friend. "It ... It's a long story, and I'd really like to sit down."
"You don't have to ask, stupid," Riku said, preparing to step out of the way, but then he noticed Sora hadn't waited for a reply. The boy was already staggering into the living room, dragging his feet underneath him like lead weights, heading for the nearest sofa. Riku shrugged and pulled the front door closed, locking it before heading off to find his friend.
He found Sora lying on his back on the couch in the living room, taking up by himself what could have seated three people. Riku, with a small laugh and a shake of his head, seated himself across from Sora in an armchair and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He stared intently at Sora, waiting for the boy to say something, but Sora was obviously more interested in the stark white ceiling, for that was what he was focusing on. Realizing that this conversation was going nowhere, and was otherwise unexistant, Riku took the initiative to start it.
And so, he started it simply. "Tell me what happened."
Sora winced at the order, even though he knew it was coming. Right about now he wanted to tell Riku to shut up and find another drowsy, half-awake, and just plain tired kid to bother, but he stopped himself for two reasons, the first being that words could not begin to describe how annoyed he was with having to relay the story again, and the second being that he was the one who had asked for Riku's help, and Sora figured they wouldn't get anything accomplished if he told him to shove off. So, with a groan, Sora began to confess what was wrong ... again.
What's happening?
I don't know what's gotten into me
So strange, this feeling I've got
And I don't want to fall apart
So please tell me what's going on
'Cause I don't know if I can hold on
And I don't want to fall apart
But I'm coming undone
"I see ..." Riku took a moment to take it all in. Sora had really rushed in explaining things, most likely because he wanted to get it over with. But he got the basic idea of Sora's delimma. "So, you're afraid that if your mom gets the job, you'll leave ..." he stated, trying to make the long story short, and then seeing the look on Sora's face, added, "... again ... and you're upset because you don't want to leave Kairi, especially since you guys are together and everything now." He leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms. "And you kinda told her you would come back to her, implying that you would stay once you did come back." He sat up straight again, throwing his arms up into the air as a gesture. "I don't see why you're so paranoid."
"Paranoid? Paranoid!" Sora bolted up into a seated position and looked over at Riku, his eyes wide with a sudden burst of energy. "You think I'm being paranoid?"
Riku grunted as if this was a really stupid statement on Sora's behalf. "Actually, yes," he said, "I think you're being paranoid."
"I am not being paranoid! This is not being paranoid!" Sora said, raising his voice to make his point, even though he wasn't phasing Riku. "This ... this is being ..." He dropped his hands down to his side and looked off at an angle, trying to find a word to replace "paranoid." But it seemed the only way he could change the sentence to make it truthful would be to say, "This is being in love," but he didn't dare say that. Riku wouldn't shut up about him being a sap for months if he said that!
"Uh huh. See? Paranoia. Now, we just gotta get that out of your head," Riku said, using one arm to gesture as if he were swatting away the idea.
Sora rested his head in his hands out of frustration. "I don't know how, Riku! That's why I came to you for help! But so far, we've gotten nowhere!"
"Geez, Sora, you're so impatient," the older boy said. Then he decided to take the conversation in a different direction. "Okay then, what would make you feel better about this whole ... ordeal?"
Sora didn't hesitate to answer that question. "If I could just find a way to make sure I didn't have to leave her again ... I would feel so much better about this. But right now ... I just know something bad's going to happen. It's just my luck, Riku. Something bad always happens."
"It does not!" Riku said in a tone meant to make Sora feel like an idiot. "You're just taking things too seriously," and then he added, quietly, in hopes that Sora wouldn't hear him, "like always."
Sora did hear him, and for a moment, he could feel the anger pulsing through his veins, but with a deep breath, it subsided. He considered Riku's point. Maybe he was taking things too seriously ... and from his friends last two words, he guessed it wasn't the first time.
"Look, you know the chances of something bad happening are, like, a billion to one," Riku continued, throwing a number out there.
The brunette sighed. "I know, but ..." and then he stopped himself. But what? he asked himself. Riku has a point! Don't deny it! You know, you really are being para-
"Stop!" Sora shouted, and then, realizing what he had just done, he looked at Riku. The boy was clearly taken aback by this outburst. Sora tried to say something, maybe apologize for shouting, but nothing came out of his mouth. He slammed a fist down on the couch beside himself. Get a grip, Sora, he told himself in an attempt to calm down, but he was really avoiding the question he wanted to ask. What's wrong with me?
"If you want me to stop trying to help you, you don't have to yell," Riku said, glancing at Sora with one eyebrow raised quizically.
"No, no, no, it's not you!" Sora said gesturing with his hands.
Riku crossed his arms. "Then what is it? What do you want from me? How can I help? Because right now, I really have no idea why you bothered to come here!"
Sora sighed again, and stared at the ground. He felt terrible, but whethere it was because he knew he was annoying his best friend or because of his ... paranoia ... Sora had no idea. He knew he desperately needed Riku's help, and he knew Riku was willing to help him, but right now, he was just wasting Riku's time. It was high time he fessed up about what he really needed.
Tearing at the edges
Torn in both directions
I've got a mission
But I'm hung on what's been happening
My world is spinning
Out of control
And I don't know what to do
That's why I came to you
So tell me ...
"What can I do to make sure I won't lose Kairi," Sora asked, "you know, in case something does happen?"
Riku stifled a laugh. "That's all?"
Sora glared at him. "What's so funny?" he demanded.
The silver-haired teen shook his head. "Man, you're not gonna lose her! You couldn't lose her if you tried! Well, short of cheating on her, anyway ... not like you would try or anything anyway!" He added, seeing the angry look on Sora's face. Then, he stood and made his way over to Sora, sitting down beside him and resting a hand on his shoulder. "Sora, Kairi loves you more than anything ... I would know, she told me ... And besides, I know you love her too. You wouldn't be with her if you didn't!" He grinned at Sora, but the boy only returned it with a pathetic, weak one of his own, not his trademark, stunning, toothy smile that would make any girl's heart melt.
"I just ... I don't know," was all Sora could say once the grin faded from his face. Riku looked at him with a concerned expression. "I-I mean of course I love her! Don't get me wrong! I would do anything for Kairi ... It's just that I don't know what to do ... My God, Riku, what's wrong with me?"
What's happening?
I don't know what's gotten into me
So strange, this feeling I've got
And I don't want to fall apart
So please tell me what's going on
'Cause I don't know if I can hold on
And I don't want to fall apart
But I'm coming undone
Riku laughed. "You're just a sad, lovesick, exhausted kid ..." He slapped Sora hard on the back. "... and since you're about to fall asleep any second now, let's get started on solving all your problems, shall we?"
Sora, paying no attention to his heavy eyelids, nodded. That was about all he could bring himself to do at that point.
"So," Riku continued, "you came to me because you're depressed and, like I said before, paranoid."
"I'm not--" Sora began, but he realized arguing was no use, so he gave in. "Alright, I admit it, I'm slightly paranoid, but you would be too if you were in my situation!"
"Yeah, yeah, sure ... not that I've ever actually been in love but sure!" That wasn't entirely true, but Riku wasn't about to admit to Kairi's boyfriend that he had been in love with her once. Not that Sora was clueless about this, but he had enough decency not to say anything.
Anxiety persisting
Emotions always twisting
Well I'm calm
And that's a mystery to me
I've been tripping up
On my own words
My sanity's slipping away
I'm not sure what to say
'Cause I don't know ...
"What do I do?" Sora asked after taking a few moments to get his thoughts in order.
Riku thought for a minute and said, "Well, short of marrying her, there's really nothing you can do!" and he smiled again.
"B-But we're not even sixteen!" Sora stammered. "She ... she'd think I'm crazy if I asked her to marry me! She'd never agree to it!"
Riku burst out laughing. "Geez, Sora, I was kidding!" he managed to say between laughs. "Heh ... but man! The look on your face was priceless!"
The other boy could feel heat rising in his cheeks from embarrassment, but he managed to smile. He really had thought Riku was being serious, and now he realized how stupid his mistake was. It was funny. No, it was really funny, especially right now. Heck, he would have laughed 'till he died had he not been so distraught. The urge to laugh and the urge to break down and cry were battling furiously inside his mind, and his head was throbbing again. His mouth would twitch into a smile and then fade back to a straight line again. Sora ended up choking on his own laughter and, instead of laughing or crying, just coughed really loudly.
Riku's laughter slowly ceased after that. "You okay, Sora?" he asked. When Sora just replied with another cough, he said, in dry humor, "Don't die on me, man. That would really suck right now. Kairi wouldn't be too happy with you."
At the mention of his girlfriend's name, Sora remembered what this whole conversation had been about, why this little meeting of theirs had commenced in the first place. He began to tug nervously on his unruly spikes on top of his head, feeling like he was about to lose it any second now. Yet strangely enough, he managed to stay in one piece. However, he did sit silently, just thinking, for so long that Riku was beginning to get worried.
What's happening?
I don't know what's gotten into me
So strange, this feeling I've got
And I don't want to fall apart
So please tell me what's going on
'Cause I don't know if I can hold on
And I don't want to fall apart
But I'm coming undone
"Sora .. you sure you're okay--"
"I guess," Sora began, cutting Riku off, "I had just fought for so long, had searched for you guys for so long, had been without you two, my best friends, for so long that I forgot what it was like to have you two back with me ... Kairi especially, you know, since she was ... heartless, asleep, whatever you want to call it, for so long. When we were all finally reunited and could come back to the island to live out the rest of our lives ... peacefully, I hope ... it all just felt so unfamiliar." He sat up a bit straighter and stared blankly at the windowed wall across from him, behind the chair that Riku had been sitting in before. "Everything, and everyone, had changed, ourselves included. We know about other worlds now, and that urge to go out and find them is gone, because we've been there, Riku, we've actually been there. And, I mean I can't speak for you but the whole time I was gone I wanted to come back." He sighed. "Since I've been back ... I really don't know what's been happening to me ... It's like I'm constantly afraid to leave again, you know?" He shot a quick glance at Riku before turning his attention back to the wall.
Riku nodded. "I know," he said. "Well, I guess I know, anyway."
"But it's different for me," Sora insisted. "If you left, you'd be leaving behind your two best friends, sure. But if I left ... I'd be leaving behind so much more than that. I'd be leaving behind the one person I love more than anything else, the one person I gave my heart up to save, the one person I searched for a way back to because I gave her my word. I promised I would come back ... and having to leave again so soon would be like breaking the promise." He shook his head. "I couldn't handle that, not again."
My heart starts racing
My head splits in two
And then my other side intrudes
I'm fighting back the urge to break loose
'Cause I'm not sure
What to choose ...
Sora looked at Riku, expecting a reply. Riku sighed. "Look, Sora, bad things happen. That's called life. You can't always prevent them from happening. But what you can do is--"
"--make the most of life while you still can," Sora finished.
Riku smiled. "My thoughts exactly."
What's happening?
I don't know what's gotten into me
So strange, this feeling I've got
And I don't want to fall apart
So please tell me what's going on
'Cause I don't know if I can hold on
And I don't want to fall apart
But I'm coming undone
"And I love Kairi, that's for sure, and Kairi loves me. People like us don't just give up on each other because of stuff like that!" Sora smiled, his being filled with new-found courage and relief. "If something happened, she ... she'd understand."
"Heh," Riku said, "looks like you just solved your own problem."
"Yeah!" Sora let out a small laugh. "Man, that was simpler than I thought!"
"Like I said," Riku began, getting to his feet, "you always take things too seriously." After a sigh, he added, "We probably wouldn't be here if you didn't." He turned to face Sora again, hoping to catch another priceless look on his face ...
... but instead, found him asleep on the couch.
Riku through his arms up in the air. "Yeah, sure, you can sleep over! Don't bother waiting for an invitation! Just make yourself at home!" He grunted. "Lazy little ..." but, unfortunately, he couldn't find the right word, so he made his way toward the livingroom entrance. But he stopped once he got there to turn and take one last look at his snoring friend, and he rolled his eyes.
"You're hopeless, you know that, Sora?"
And he left the room.
(A/N: Yay, another chapter. Okay, be nice and click that lil button down there by "submit review" or whatever it says.)