Chapter 15

Bobby spent an additional week in the hospital. He visited and was visited by Angela Corelli and her family, read, and flirted occasionally with the nurses, but he was increasingly frustrated by his inactivity. He was blissfully unaware about the debate over his potential role in the Claret investigation, and Alex was determined that he remain in that state as long as possible. The DA's office wanted him to interrogate Claret as soon as Bobby was cleared for duty; Cragen and Ross and several of the other detectives danced warily in the middle of the debate, recognizing that Bobby might be the one chance to break Claret but also aware of the possible cost to Bobby; Alex—and to her surprise, Elliott Stabler—protested furiously against any suggestion that Bobby deal in any way with Claret.

"He's not in any kind of shape to interrogate anyone," Stabler argued doing one conference. "And he won't be for some time."

Alex discovered with a shock that she and Stabler were on one side of the meeting room confronting the others.

"This case cut really close to him," Alex said. "The last thing we should be doing is exposing him to this creep…"

"Eames," Ross said firmly but not unsympathetically. "I have every sympathy for Goren's situation…but we also need to consider Angela Corelli…and the other victims and their families…and the case…"

"I know what Detective Goren has given to this case," Cragen said. "I know what we owe him…But we need to get this guy…"

"I think," Olivia said softly. "Goren would want to help the victims…"

"Of course he does," Alex snapped. "That's the problem…He cares so much about them he won't think about himself…Right now Bobby isn't the best judge of what's best for him."

George Huang spoke quietly. "Detective Eames, is it possible that you're not the best judge for Detective Goren either?"

Stabler and Alex both glared at the psychiatrist, who didn't back down.

"I understand your concerns about Detective Goren," Huang said. Alex wished he wasn't so calm, so reasonable. "I agree that this case has been very difficult for him, but through all of it he's been exceptional…"

"I think," Ross said. "We have to consider Goren as a strong option…but only if he feels he can do it…"

"Feels he can do it?" Alex steamed. "You know he'll do it, no matter what he feels like…His sense of duty ensures that…Let alone how he feels about the victims…"

Ross accepted that he'd have to play the villain in this story. "Eames…"

"No!" Alex shook her head. "All of his career…All of his life…People have used him…" All of Alex's frustrations and anger about the misunderstanding and mistreatment of Bobby exploded. "He's lying in a hospital bed…and you're still using him…"

"Alex," Olivia said sensibly. "No one wants to use him…No one wants to hurt him…But we all have the job to do…You know that…Bobby knows that…It's what we do…"

Alex gnawed her lip; a furious Stabler stood next to her. Neither could offer a good argument to Olivia's words.

"People," Don Cragen said in his usual reasonable manner that alternately comforted and annoyed Alex. "We're not near the point where we need to consider using Goren's skills. We can hope that Claret and his lawyer will see the light and accept a plea…"

"Cap," Stabler said wearily. "I hope you're right…but I'm not holding my breath."

Alex was still fuming when she visited Bobby in the hospital, and she struggled to hide her anger from him. It helped that he was in a remarkably cheerful mood.

"Dr. Phillips was here," he told her as he attacked the bagel she brought him. "He told me I should be able to leave the hospital tomorrow or the day after…That is…" Bobby's mood darkened. "If…if someone…could…give me a hand…"

Alex was torn; the news that Bobby could leave the hospital was wonderful, but it also meant that he would be available to interrogate Claret.

"Alex…" Bobby's soft, puzzled voice broke in on her thoughts. "Is…what…" His thoughts raced. "She doesn't want to…Of course not…She's busy…She has her own life…She shouldn't have to take care of…"

Alex looked at Bobby. "Oh, no," she thought. "He thinks I don't want to help him…and he just reached out to me…"

She touched his arm. "It's ok," she said softly. "It's great that you can leave the hospital…and I'll take care of you…especially if you can help me with my bad nights…"

Bobby looked at her uncertainly.

"It's just," Alex said, trying to keep her voice calm and even. "I'm worried about you…That maybe you're not quite ready…That you're pushing things…"

Bobby rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'm afraid," Alex said. "That you won't pay attention to the doctors…or me…"

Bobby studied her for a moment. "I might…" he finally said. "Not pay attention to the doctors…but I'll always pay attention to you."

"Even if you don't do what I tell you," Alex smiled. "Don't worry, Bobby…I want to take care of you."

Dr. Phillips released Bobby the next day, but only after Alex agreed to take care of him. She insisted that he spend the first few days of his recovery at her home. Ross raised a few objections, but Alex quietly and steadily explained that Bobby had no where else to go.

"It's either this or he stays in the hospital," she told the captain. "And I don't think any of us want him to stay there any longer than he has to…"

"All right," Ross said in defeat. "But I know nothing about it…"

Stabler and Benson volunteered to help Alex get Bobby home from the hospital.

"You know, Stabler," Bobby said as he eased into the SUV. "Not that I'm not grateful, but you can stop apologizing…"

"It's not that," Benson grinned from the front seat. "Elliott thinks he's responsible for you since you saved his life…and he takes his responsibilities very seriously."

Bobby blushed slightly. "I keep telling everyone…I was just trying to get him out of the way…"

Stabler eased the vehicle out of the parking garage. "Yea…keep saying that, Goren, and someone might believe you…I won't…"

Alex smiled at Bobby. "Well, Stabler will have to get in line…I'm first in the line of responsibility for this guy."

Bobby looked at Alex, and she swam in the gratitude in his dark eyes.

He was good for the early part of the trip. When they stopped for lunch, Bobby eagerly joined in the conversation, although Alex noted he barely touched his food. He wanted to discuss the Claret case, but Alex and the SVU detectives tried to steer him away from it. Bobby grew quietly but increasingly frustrated.

"C'mon, guys," he finally said. "What's going on? Have I been dropped from the case? Is Claret talking at all?"

Alex stared at her plate; Olivia and Stabler shared an uneasy look.

"Bobby," Alex said. "You've just got out of the hospital…You need to take it easy."

"My brain is working just fine," Bobby said. His tone was calm, but Alex could hear the tension in it. Bobby studied the other detectives. "Claret isn't admitting anything…He's enjoying the interviews…playing with us…"

"Yea," Olivia sighed.

"He wants a trial," Bobby continued. "He's playing a game…He'll want to shame his family…Let people know what his mother did…"

"Bobby," Alex warned.

He was in that near trance like state when his mind was fully engaged in the solution of a case or the examination of a troubled mind. Bobby scarcely heard Alex.

"Angela Corelli…as strong as she is…A trial would be horrible for her…her family…the kids…" Bobby emerged from the trance. "We have to get Claret to confess…We have to," he said fiercely.

"We're working on it," Stabler said, aware of how feeble his words sounded. "We're tying to convince him we've got an airtight case…"

"But it isn't," Bobby said darkly. "You and I never saw him…Our only witness…if she can't…"

"We have DNA and other evidence that the other victims were in that basement," Olivia argued.

"But Claret will argue that he knew nothing about the killings…That someone else was there," Bobby responded. "It might be enough to create reasonable doubt…"

"Dammit, Goren." Stabler gave voice to all of their frustrations. "Whose side…" He shook his head. "I'm sorry…It's just…just…"

Bobby waved a hand. "No apology needed. It frustrates me, too. I just don't want Claret to have any chance to get away…He's got enough money and influence to disappear and start doing this somewhere else."

"We're all looking for more evidence," Alex said. "And Huang is studying options on how to reach him…We've got him." Her voice sounded as if she attempted to convince herself as much as the other detectives.

Bobby stirred his spoon in his coffee. "I'd like to talk to Huang about…"

"No!" Alex declared a little too quickly and loudly.

Stabler and Olivia shared another uneasy look; Bobby studied Alex.

"Bobby, you're not in any shape to be dealing with this…" Alex tried to control her voice.

"Eames," Bobby said patiently. "I just want to talk to Huang…not go out and dig for evidence in the snow." He yawned. "Besides," he said wearily. "You're right…I'm in no shape for heavy work."

Bobby fell asleep soon after they continued the drive. Alex closely watched him.

"Crisis averted," Olivia said.

Stabler glanced at her. "Alex is right," he said. "Goren is in no shape to interview anyone, especially Gregory Claret."

Bobby stirred slightly.

"Keep it low, guys," Alex said softly.

Olivia turned to face her. "You know he'll find out you're trying to protect him…He probably knows already."

"I can live with that," Alex said.

They were reluctant to wake Bobby when they arrived at Alex's house. "But we can't carry him," Stabler said.

Bobby winced as he stepped from the SUV. Stabler caught his arm.

"You sure you're ok?" Olivia asked.

"Uh…yea…I think I'm due for my meds," Bobby said.

Stabler and Olivia stayed until Bobby was settled on Alex's couch. They refused her offer of coffee.

"We're already swimming in it," Olivia said. "And we need to get back to work…Munch is already complaining…"

"You call if you need anything…anything," Stabler said.

"Just keep me in the loop," Bobby said. He couldn't keep the exhaustion from his voice.

"Ok," Stabler said. Alex frowned.

"You need anything?" Alex asked as Stabler and Benson left.

Bobby hesitated. "I…I'd like to call my Mom."

"Of course," Alex said. "You can call from the guest room."

"Ok." Bobby struggled to his feet.

"You ok?" Alex started to go to him.

"I'm fine," he snapped. "I'm sorry," he said after a moment. "Look, Alex…you…you can't hover over me…We'll drive each other crazy."

She took a deep breath. "Ok…no hovering."

"Thank you. And I'll pay attention and do what you say." He smiled wanly and walked slowly to the guest room.

Alex spent the next few minutes in the kitchen. She decided that some soup would make a good supper. The soup was starting to simmer when she heard it. At first she thought it might be a wounded cat or dog; then she realized the sound came from the guest room.

She knocked on the door. "Bobby," she called. "Are you all right?"

The only response was a choked cry. Torn between worry and fear of invading Bobby's privacy, Alex hesitated. The sound of a sob made up her mind, and she pushed open the door.

Bobby was curled in a fetal position on the bed, his cell phone abandoned beside him. His face was buried in a pillow in a feeble attempt to muffle his cries. His body shook with sobs.

"Bobby," Alex said softly as she sat on the bed next to him.

He was unaware of her at first; when he realized she was next to him he weakly tried to pull away. But she reached for him and gently pulled him back to her. He couldn't fight her and let her turn his body so that he faced her. She wrapped her arms around him, and he buried his face in her shoulder.

"I…I'm sorry," he choked out. "I…I…oh…Alex…Alex…please…"

"It's all right, Bobby," she whispered. "I'm here…I'll help you…I'm here…"

She said the words over and over again and rubbed his back until the sobs and trembling eased and stopped. He fell not so much into sleep as an exhausted unconsciousness.

She placed his cell phone on the small table next to the bed and carefully removed his shoes. She tenderly placed a blanket over him and slipped a pillow beneath his head.

"I will protect you," she vowed as she looked down at him. "I will protect you from them and from yourself."

End Chapter 15