I won't be able to update until Tuesday, so here's an extra chapter.

Chapter 17

He woke with a start; for a moment, he couldn't remember where he was. He felt a soft touch on his cheek and, in the pale moonlight coming from the window, saw Alex's face inches from his own. He cautiously touched her hand resting on his face.

"Alex." He breathed her name. She stirred slightly and smiled. Bobby moved carefully and sat up. He stared down at Alex, scarcely able to believe that she was there. She was so beautiful that he could barely look at her; his heart broke and healed with every one of her breaths. He desperately wanted to take her in his arms, to kiss and hold her, to make love to her.

"Wrong," he thought. "So wrong…for me…to even think…even if she wasn't my partner…She's Alex…She could have any one…Not me…That anyone would love me…but especially her…"

He moved slowly to avoid waking Alex and pain. He found the bathroom, and as he splashed water over his face he wondered why the pain seemed so faint and far away. "The drugs must be working really well," he thought. He stared at his hands. Bright, red, thick liquid poured over them. A garbled cry from the guest room ended his study of his hands. A terrible sick feeling in his stomach, he stumbled to the room and flung open its door. Splashes of crimson covered the walls, floor and ceiling. On the bed, a blood splattered Gregory Claret knelt over Alex. He raised a gleaming knife and turned to smile at Bobby.

"Hello, Detective," Claret purred. "Here to save your partner? A little late, aren't you?"

"No!" Bobby screamed and tried to rush forward, but he couldn't move. Something clung to him, forcing him back. "Let me go! Let me go!" he yelled and struggled to get free.

"No…No, Bobby…Stay with me…I need you…" Bobby's mother clutched his arm.

"Bobby…help me…Bobby…" Alex cried as Claret drove down the knife.

"No! No!" Bobby screamed again.

"Bobby…Bobby…It's a nightmare…You're all right…I'm here…" Alex's soft, soothing voice broke through the dream. He felt her hand on his head; it sent waves of warmth through him.

"Alex…Mom…Alex," he mumbled. He tried to sit up, but his body protested.

"It's ok, Bobby…It's safe…It's a bad dream…It's not real." Alex's voice led him back to reality. "Take it easy…"

She helped him sit up. "What can I do for you? How can I help you?" She laid a hand on his arm.

"What…what you're doing…is…is helping a lot." He tried to take a deep breath and was rewarded with a jolt of pain.

Alex checked the clock. "You can take some more pain medication," she said. "I'll get you the pills and some water."

Bobby watched her leave the room. "God forgive me," he thought. "I love her so much." He leaned against the pillows; the pain in his head and ribs was steadily increasing. Bobby closed his eyes. "I have to face Claret…I have to deal with him," he thought. "Not only for the case…Not only for Angela Corelli…but for me…to get him out of my head…to know why I'm not him…"

"Here's your pills and water," Alex said gently.

He opened his eyes to find her standing by the bed, her hair shining in the pale light. "She won't understand," he thought. "She'll leave me…"

"Bobby…what is it? What's wrong?" Alex sat the water and pills on the table.

"Just…just a really bad dream," Bobby stuttered.

Alex's heart broke as she watched Bobby shut several doors in front of her. "Do…do you want to talk about it?" She sat on the bed.

Bobby reached for the pills and water. He swallowed both, moving deliberately and slowly.

"It…It was…" he struggled. "How," he thought. "How can I tell her…that I was too weak to save her…"

"You can tell me," Alex said gently. "Anything you want…As much or as little as you want…The same deal we've had since…since…" She swallowed. "Since what happened to me…"

Bobby remembered that one of Alex's worst nightmares was one where she couldn't save him.

"Claret," he blurted. "Claret had you…" The words ran in a flood from him. "He had you…and I was trying to get to you…But…I…I couldn't…My Mom…She clung to me…held me back…I couldn't reach you…and…and you…you were screaming for me…to help you…And I couldn't…Alex…I couldn't help you…" Tears slipped from his eyes and Bobby shuddered.

Alex took a deep breath. "Sounds like our nightmares lately have had a shared theme…But I think you've had more experience with them than me."

"Yea," Bobby said sadly. "I've always had plenty of material for them."

Alex put her arms around him. "I guessed that."

Bobby rested in her arms. "I've never felt this safe," he thought. "And I can't stay here…Not if I want to do my job…If I want to be me…" The pain medication blurred his mind.

"I hate the way the painkillers make me so sleepy," he murmured against Alex's shoulder. "It's so hard to think…"

"It's ok…just go to sleep…I'll be here…" Alex pulled the covers over him.

He was too tired and confused to fight her even if he had wanted to. "Sorry I'm so much trouble," he mumbled as he eased back on the pillows. "Thank you." He was asleep before she could tell him there nothing to be sorry for.

They both slept well—at least well for them in recent months—for the rest of the night. In the morning, Alex hesitated to go to work, but Bobby gently encouraged her to go.

"I'll be fine…I've got plenty to read…You've spent a lot of time taking care of me…You need to go to work…" he said.

"You'll take your meds?" Alex said. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid?"

"Promise," Bobby said. "Cross my heart."

"And you'll call me if you need me…no matter what," Alex pressed.

Bobby nodded. "If I get so much as a tiny headache," he answered.

"All right." She finally gave in. "Just know that I'm going to call to check up on you."

"Deal," Bobby said. "Actually, it's nice to have someone check up on me."

Alex smiled at him, and its warmth filled Bobby. After he watched her drive away, he walked to the guest room. He found his binder and cell phone and returned to the kitchen. He placed the binder and phone on the table and poured a cup of coffee. He sat at the table, took a deep breath, and dialed one of his mother's doctors.

She was resting well, the doctor reported. She'd slept well after talking to Bobby the previous night. Bobby smiled bitterly as he listened to the doctor. "Of course she slept well," he thought. "After using all that energy to scream at me." The doctor promised to call if there were any problems. Bobby shut off the phone; for several minutes he sat with his head in his hands. He sighed, opened his binder, and found George Huang's number.

"Alex will be furious," he thought. "But I have to…I have to…" He took a long drink of coffee and dialed Huang's number.

End Chapter 17