Bittersweet Melody: by hikari-aozora
Bold: parts of the chapter's song
Italics: a thought or flashback
Underlined: emphasis on words
Disclaimer: Sad ... the last disclaimer of the story ... it's a fan fiction, alright? FAN fiction. Meaning I'm a FAN ... and therefore, NOT the owner.
(A/N: it's the last chapter ... and the last a/n ... so i'd just like to say thank you to all my loyal readers & reviewers! you rock! XD)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Slipped Away
She fought the urge to open the box.
And, oh boy, did she fight it.
Every day when she came home from school, Kairi would lock herself in her room, sometimes to rest without being disturbed, sometimes to write songs without being distracted, and sometimes just to mope in solitude.
I miss you
Miss you so bad
But there was that box ... again ... resting menacingly on top of her dresser, mocking her, with it's perfectly square shape and expertly curled ribbons. She couldn't stand not knowing, but she didn't dare defy his wishes ...
Speaking of him ... she was coping with his absence quite well. She had yet to cry, but oh, she had almost cried so many times that holding back the tears had nearly become painful.
I don't forget you
Oh, it's so sad
So, going against her better judgement, she had taken down everything that reminded her of him.
All the pictures, all the posters, anything that reminded her of him even the slightest bit had to go. She had taken them down, one by one, quickly but gently, stashing them in the middle drawer of her dresser. Everything was concealed, save, of course, the crown necklace that she never took off ... and the lucky charm, of course, but that was hers long before it ever fell into his posession.
Oh yeah, and there was the box, but she found that she couldn't even touch it without being overcome with that overwhelming urge to unveil its contents. Once, she found that she had to call Riku over to pry it out of her fingers, and she hadn't come close to laying a hand on it since.
I hope you can hear me
But as for looking at it ... well, that was something she couldn't help, considering she couldn't get around to moving it herself, all of her friends besides Riku had no knowledge of its existance, and if she called Riku to deal with it again, he would most likely deem her insane.
She had tried just looking somewhere else, but she found that her eyes kept wandering back to it. No, Kairi, she scold herself, it's not anything important ... yet ...
But it would be ... someday ...
I remember it clearly
And that always brought her back to it.
Stupid box.
Stupid present.
Stupid S--
She closed her eyes tightly, cursing under her breath, shaking her head to rid her mind of the thought, mentally slapping herself as well. No, she wouldn't dare call him stupid. Sure, he might be a lazy bum ... sure, he might be a little spacy ... sure, he might be a klutz ... but he was definitely, absolutely, without-a-doubt, not stupid.
Because, after everything, he still loved me.
She opened her eyes. There was that box again.
Sora ...
The day you slipped away
She sighed. Back at square one.
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
And home? That was just part of the problem. School was, by far, much worse.
He used to sit by her, every day, in every class, and seeing his chair empty hit her hard ... especially in Mr. Nakamura's class, where they had actually shared a table. Despite her efforts to think about something else, not look that way, and even fill his spot with Riku, she always found herself wandering back to thoughts of him ... and how happy they were ...
Happiness ... It was something she hadn't felt in ages. Sadness was no stranger.
I didn't get around to
Kiss you goodbye on the hand
She tried to conceal it ... but Riku, he noticed.
And so earlier that day, he had slipped into Sora's seat, and Kairi, filling a strange warmth coming from his spot, looked over at him, her eyes connecting with his. Riku, smiling as if smiling would help, placed his hand delicately on top of hers. "I miss him, too," he told her, and she fought the urge to protest.
No, he didn't miss him. Not nearly as much as she did. He didn't know what it was truely like to miss someone.
I wish that I could
See you again
He ... his time here was so short ...
I know that I can't
And as strange as that thought seemed, it really fit how she felt. She swore that she wouldn't have felt worse if he'd died.
Because, the truth was, he was very much alive ... and yet, she couldn't share her life with him.
He just had to go and move way the hell across the bay.
Riku was still sitting there, silently watching her, as if he was expecting her to say something, but he knew she wouldn't. She had hardly said so much as a few words on the phone to him since Sora left. So, he decided to continue. "If there's anything I can do ... anything at all ..."
She shivered. That sounded so much like what he had said ...
I hope you can hear me
When she didn't respond, Riku took that as a 'No,' and, sighing heavily, he returned to his seat.
Now, school was out, Riku had long since returned to his own home. She smirked as she thought about what he was probably doing ... playing video games ... watching some drama or comedy show ...
And what am I doing?
She was sitting there staring at that damn box!
I remember it clearly
And she just couldn't take it anymore.
So, drawing in a deep breath, she hopped up from her bed, grabbed the box, opened the drawer, and threw it down on top of all the pictures and posters that inhabited it. Then, letting out her breath in a sigh of relief, she reached down to close the drawer ...
But ... she just couldn't.
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
All those pictures ... all those memories ... each and every one concealed in a frame that lay before her ... she couldn't just get rid of them. Sure, she could lock them in a drawer, hide them under her bed, throw them away. But nothing could ever make her forget.
And as hard as thinking about Sora was, she didn't want to forget.
I had my wake up
Won't you wake up?
She smiled to herself. No. Never.
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
As for Sora?
"Welcome home, Sora."
He stepped into his new house, still fairly dark and dimly lit by the sun. He took a look around, admiring the architecture, a style that was definitely different than what he was used to.
Feeling hands on his shoulders, he turned his head to see his mother smiling at him, obviously excited about the new location. Seeing the smile returned, no matter how forced his looked to the trained eye, she patted him on the back and walked off, busying herself with bossing around the movers. Still, as she walked, Sora could hear her voice echoing throughout the spacious foyer.
"Isn't it great?"
Sora took the time to really take in his new surroundings. The house was huge. He had never imagined residing in a house so ridiculously large, and he was starting to question where his mother had come up with the money ... unless her new job was paying substancially more than her old one. Nevertheless, he was grateful for the abundance of space he now had ... and boy, was it spacious ... so much that he really wondered if it was necessary. There were only two of them, after all.
"Yeah, it's ... really nice."
He had to admit, it was a beautiful ... house.
It wasn't fake
But it would never be his home.
It happened
In the past, he had always been told that home is where the heart is. Taking this philosophy into account, this was definitely not his home. His heart was not here.
It was back on the main island, with Kairi.
And Kairi ...
You passed by
Well, her heart had always been, and would always be, with Sora.
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
And as they would both come to realize, life was just not the same away from home.
There you go
There you go
Kairi, as she stared down at the countless photos stacked one on top of the other in her drawer, along with that annoying box, couldn't help but think about him ... and nothing but him ...
Her home ... it was with him ...
Somewhere
I can't bring you back
But she couldn't very well go and find him, now could she?
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
She shook her head. No, that was a preposterous idea. She barely had enough money to pay the rent ... let alone fund a ferry ride across the bay and several bus trips once she got there.
There you go
There you go
Still, she was sick. Homesick.
And staying here was not helping her condition at all.
She needed to get away. She needed to go somewhere, be anywhere besides here, trapped in her lonely house with her painful memories and seemingly pitiful existance. Her life was becoming increasingly painful with each passing day, and the more agonizing it became, the harder it was for poor Kairi to hold out. Yes, she needed a change.
She needed to escape.
Somewhere
You're not coming back
Escape.
That had been their plan from the very beginning, had it noot? Hmph. Seems like they were always looking for a change. And just when I thought I was content ...
Destiny had to twist the plot of her story.
The day you slipped away
No.
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
Their story.
Her heart did not lead her astray before, and as it was calling her now, leading her away from this dismal place full of mocking memories and whatnot, she was going to follow it.
No matter where it might take her.
"Yes. It's my turn to do the adventuring."
You see, the way Kairi saw it, life was laid out like a road. There were twists and turns, intersections, forks, signs that warned and encouraged, choices to make, obstacles to come, and other objects to avoid. But no matter how long and confusing the excursion, no matter how many wrong turns were taken, no matter how many dead ends were reached, no matter how many times you had to turn around and go back to the beginning, eventually, you always reached your destination. And ... well ... Kairi was more than ready to make that journey.
The day you slipped away
And as she took one final look at the drawer and everything it contained ... from posters to cards, from pictures to that infamous box ... she knew that each and every object before her was special, had a meaning. They were all memories, ones that she couldn't live without.
Ones that she wouldn't hide from any longer.
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
As she prepared for whatever lay ahead of her, for whatever road blocks and detours she might encounter, she knew that she wanted him ... even if he only existed in a memory ... beside her. That drawer contained all that she would ever need.
She had memories.
She had love.
She had promises.
She had him.
Kairi smiled, putting a hand to her heart, which was pounding with excitement, and her eyes lit up as a feeling washed over her ... one that she hadn't experienced in the longest time ...
Happiness.
I miss you ...
And it was happiness, none-the-less, no matter how bittersweet.
--THE END--
( to be continued ... )