Chapter Two
Good morning/evening everyone and welcome back to KONOHA, NEW YORK xD
You know the drill, characters will be OOC also, if there's is a olded quote, that's the character's inner self speaking.
Note: I do not own Naruto
CHAPTER DEDICATED TO: BlossomS2Cherry, AKA Sakura Haruno
Chapter two
It was Saturday, and Hinata was relaxed on the leather couch of Team 8's apartment, kicking back and watching Titanic on Adelphia High-Speed Cable. Beside her there was about six boxes of Kleenex, five of them empty and one on the verge of running out. It was the part when Jack dies and Rose says that she will not let go, which, quoting Hinata, is one of the saddest parts in movie history.
Hinata blew her nose hard into her Kleenex while crying. "Oh, I love this movie...it's so sad..."
Kiba wandered into the living room and sat down next to Hinata, after shoving aside the boxes of Kleenex. "I can't believe those sick, perverted, twisted-"
"Kiba, I'm watching Titanic, please save it until after." Hinata shushed Kiba as the TV portayed Rose blowing on a whistle, signaling the life boats to sail toward her. Kiba slouched back in his seat, crossing his arms and watched the rest of the movie with the helmet-haired girl next to him (Hinata. T.T), wondering why the coolest kid in school was watching Titanic on a Saturday morning instead of watching Pulse at the movies with his friends.
/a few minutes later/
"W-well...what were you g-going to say, Kiba?" Hinata asked him as she turned off the TV.
Kiba gave her a 'how-could-you-not-know' look. "THOSE DAMN SUPERVISORS ARE PLAYING THAT DAMN GAME AGAIN."
A puzzled look spread upon Hinata's eyes. "The one with the 'banana spl-"
"YES. That one." Kiba grabbed Hinata's hand and pulled her outside and into a taxi cab, anything to get away from Kakashi's apartment and even their own apartment BUILDING. AND Kiba's apartment that he shared with the team himself. KURENAI cleans her apartment, cooks, even watches TV with the remote and...sitting on the couch. Kiba doesn't know where Kurenai's hands have been, though judging by the incident at Kakashi's apartment, he has an idea.
"How I regret sitting on that couch..."
"K-Kiba, what do you mean?"
"Hinata, wash your hands when we get to the movie theater. Kurenai touched that remote."
"I still don't get what yo-"
"WASH YOUR HANDS!"
"O-ok..."
------------
Kiba and Hinata made it to the movie theater, Kiba paying for the taxi.
It's a duty for the coolest kid in school to have a DATE when he's watching a movie, especially on Saturday. Kiba didn't want to look uncool, so he brought Hinata along to watch Pulse with him, not mentioning the movie title to Hinata for various reasons. Kiba approached the ticket man. "Two for Pulse, please."
"MAKE THAT THREE."
"Ino?" Kiba jumped as the blonde girl appeared at the window. Hinata was shaking with terror because of the movie awating to be viewed by her white eyes; she's not fond of horror movies. Ino grinned. "Well, Shikamaru won't pay for my ticket and Choji ATE his money, and I left mine at home so can you buy me my ticket?"
"No, get your own." Kiba grabed Hinata's hand and dragged her into the theater, Ino trailing behind them.
/5 seconds later/
"Okay, FINE! Here," Kiba gave in and looked through his wallet, pulling out his Visa and giving it to Ino. "Just stop bothering me, okay?"
"Whatever!" Ino happily said as she ran toward the ticket window, Visa in hand.
Kiba and Hinata approached the popcorn stand and stood in line behind Choji and Shikamaru. Ino then stood in line behind Hinata, shouting and waving her ticket up in the air.
"YEAH BABY, I'M WATCHING PULSE WITH KIBA AND HINATA!"
'Shh. No you're not." Kiba glared at ino.
/5 seconds later/
"ARGH. Okay, fine. just shut up." Kiba glared at Choji, ordering his snacks.
"And I want two large popcorns, one with butter one with cheese, I want three hotdogs everything on them, I want M&Ms and Sour skittles as well, also, I want four pretzels, one plain, one garlic, two raisin, I want five cokes and two bags of Snickers bites, plus eight bags of Lays." Choji paused, thinking. "IF I get nachos, is anyone else going to have any? I don't want to feel like a fatty."
Shikamaru sighed impatiently. "Buying food with Choji...it's such a drag."
Kiba leaned against the counter. "I want Sour Patch kids, and a small popcorn for my 'date'. Also add a diet sprite." He said, nodding towards Hinata's direction.
"I want Doritos." Shikamaru heaved another sigh, then started taking a three-minute nap. Ino winked at the guy behind the counter.
"Swedish Fish for me, hot stuff."
"That comes to a total of $74.95." The guy said in a bored tone, letting Ino know that her plan didn't work. She growled while Shikamaru gave the guy his Visa to scan.
Several minutes later, the five were seated in a row around the middle, holding their snacks and watching previews when a preview for 'Wickerman' was playing, it was the part then the truck ran over the little girl.
Hinata screamed in fear. Ino covered her eyes while Kiba and Choji cheered, Kiba waving his jacket around in the air and whooping (no shirt. Yays!). Shikamaru sighed and shushed them all. "Guys, SHUT UP."
"Make me, Sokka." Ino smirked while eating Swedish Fish, images of Shikamaru in Avatar: The Last Airbender in her head. Shikamaru closed his eyes in anger and shook a fist. "Ino, I'm warning you..."
"Guys, the movie's starting." Kiba said as the movie started. Hinata grabbed Kiba's arm in terror while Choji muched away at his snacks. Shikamaru started falling asleep as Ino talked away on her cell phone, recieving death glares from the other people watching the movie.
------------
Naruto and Sasuke were at their apartment's living room playing Connect Four, Sakura listening to her iPod to drown out the noises coming from Kakashi's room.
Naruto dropped a red checker into a slot. "Sasuke, what do you think the senseis are doing in there?"
"They're playing Uno." Sasuke replied sarcastically while making his move and blocking Naruto's win. "Tazuna's out at Wild Oats, so I count five people doing it: Kakashi-sensei, Kurenai-sensei, Asuma-sensei, Baki-sensei, and Gai-sensei...I don't know why we call them 'sensei', they never teach us anything...though I'm sure Gai's teaching stuff to Lee. Jackass, because of him, I don't have my Nikes anymore...T.T"
"Okay class, let me pass back your tests, which I graded last night...I could have been out dating but noooooo." Iruka sighed as he handed back the papers with marks on it. He approached Lee first.
"Rock Lee, I'm dissapointed in you. I thought you would know that the thing that can heal a wound in the heart is NOT youth, you're close though." he said, giving Lee a paper marked with an 'F.'
Sasuke inwardly smirked. It's obvious he'll get Lee's sneakers now, since he was a genius and all.
Iruka stopped at Sasuke's desk. "And Sasuke Uchiha, before I hand you your STUPENDOUS paper, look up in the sky! Is it a D? Is it an E? No, IT'S SUPER F!" Iruka smiled as he handed Sasuke a paper marked wit an F-Minus. A little red cape was attached to the paper as well.
"AN F-MINUS?" Sasuke yelled in total disbelief as Iruka went on to the next student. He then glared at Lee, who was moving his fists together in a circular motion.
"Go Lee, it's my birthday."
"UGH, fine." Sasuke angrily kicked off his Nikes and threw them at Lee, who happily put them on while grinning, his teeth revaling a sparkle.
"Wow...I got a C on that test." Naruto said as he dropped another checker onto the stand, making a diagonal win.
"Don't you dare say it, Na-"
"...oh my god. I WON! HA! WHO'S THE CONNECT-FOUR KING NOW, SASUKE?" Naruto shouted, emphasizing Sasuke's name. "I know it's not YOU, because, well, YOU SUCK. You suck out loud!"
It was then that Tazuna entered the building., pulling the door closed behind him. He had a grocery bag in one arm and his keys in the other. "I'm telling you one thing, when I was your age, young people helped old people when they're arms were full." he said, setting the bag down on the table. Naruto looked inside the bag.
"Uh. Old Man. What is this for?" Naruto asked, holding what seemed to be a bottle of caramel topping. Tazuna quickly rushed over to him and snatched the bottle.
"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, YOU YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPER." He yelled, grabbing his grocery bag and heading towards Kakashi's room. Sakura shrugged and switched her song to Skater Boy. "By the way, you didn't happen to see Kiba, didn't you?"
Sakura paused her song and thought for a minute. "Uhh...I dunno. But if you find him, beat him up. Bastard stole my Sour Patch Kids..."
------------------
Tenten thought for a second, then started writing in her notebook. She was siting against a tree at the park, along with her friends who had nothing else to do. Shino was lying down with a magnifying glass, studying ants. Her other friends, except Lee, were playing a game of football. Lee was there for Tenten when she needed help with her homework. (aww. xD)
Tenten turned towards him. "Lee...what are the 5 stages of grief?"
"Allow me to explain this the old fashioned way, my dear Tenten...by, USING AN EXAMPLE."
"Joy" Tenten sighed, sarcasm filling the air. Lee took a deep breath.
"Tenten, the first stage is...denial."
"Oh my god. Oh my god. This cannot be happening to me...oh my god. It's not real, isn't it?Soon... Soon, I'll wake up and this will all be a dream."
"...and the fact that I fall asleep at different times of the day doesn't strike odd to you...?"
Lee thought for a minute."Next is anger."
"THAT SICK M'FUCKASS SON OF A BITCH, HOW DARE HE EVEN TRY TO BLAME ME FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS BACKSTABBER BASTARD JACKASS...time for me to show no mercy."
"Way to go, self! And this IS part of the plan...I'LL BE FREE, JACKASS!"
"...what?"
"Uh, nothing."
"After that is Bargaining."
"Okay...uh...God. I'm SORRY! PLEASE take away my life along with my Inner Self and ressurect this man and his beloved."
"...what the hell do I have to do with this? You killed him...T.T"
"Number 4 is depression."
"...I get it now...it's all my fault...if I would have never been born, everyone will be happy...then, I wouldn't be in the way."
"Fuck, my outer half is getting emo...time for me to pull some strings."
"Last is acceptance..."
/shatter/
"HOLY CRAP BROKEN GLASS...I hate breaking things. One time at a Christmas party, my sister got an antique vase...I asked if I can see it and it broke. She nearly killed me...uh, my friend was there too...one time we were fighting over who would win the love of this hott girl beast, but he won. I'm telling you, I'm kinda grateful...that time he catwalked away with that hot feline, 12 years later, BAM. Herpes."
"...uh, FUCK. Get to the point."
"Sheesh, fine. Don't get all attitude, jackass."
"...he's gone...it seems like my life is over..."
"Yes yes yes, everything was going perfectly fine, until THIS. THIS just HAD to happen, I know life wasn;t a slice of raspberry cheesecake with Cool Whip topping and a couple of cherries before THIS, buddy. It just had to happen...god doesn't like you and neither do I. Let's go to Olive Garden for a salad."
"I'm grieving here..."
"Yeah, but...I know another way to solve problems...evil laughter"
"But...it may also lead to more anger."
"HOLY FUCK, HE'S TURNING INTO THE HULK. If you turn green, I'm moving to Iowa."
"I'm ignoring you...IT'S TIME TO CROSS THE OTHER SIDE, BIATCH...5 minute maniacal laughter"
"Yeah, and I assume you're going to spend the holidays all alone watching Christmas with the Kranks, after that you're going to your family's place...where the only way to survive Christmas with your damn family is to get drunk 80 of the time and pretend you're not there. Take your 'I really wish I weren't here right now' button while you're at it. I'll go get the eggnog...beware"
"..."
"And those are the five stages of anger." Lee finished.
"Holy shit...no wonder we ran out of eggnog that time." Temari, who stopped playing football to listen to the story, ran her fingers through her blonde hair.
"Knew it." Neji sighed and took out his DS. "I'm playing Mario Kart."
"Did you also know that the same guy who was in that story and his Inner Self made the nintendo Company spell Mario Kart with a K?" Kankuro smirked while Gaara gave him a smack on the head.
"Jackass, I like it better with a K...give me your Resses Blizzard." Gaara gave Kankuro a death glare, but tha didn't stop Kankuro from protecting his sacred ice cream-in-a-cup from DQ.
Kankuro turned around and hid his ice cream. "No way, it has those little chocolate thingies with the white dots."
"Snow caps?"
"Yes." Kankuro said uneasily.
"Even better, NOW GIVE ME THE DAMN ICE CREAM!"
"No."
"I'll kill you."
"No."
"I'll really do it."
"You're not going to do it."
"Kankuro, I am serious."
"No you're not."
Gaara sighed and tossed a rubber band and a glue-stick-like object at Kankuro. "Here's a rubber band and a stick of HeadOn, go ahead and apply to your forehead. YOU'LL NEED IT AFTER UNTIMELY DEATH."
Kankuro picked up his prizes, along with his ice cream. Then he stopped. "ForeHEAD? I thought it was fore skin."
"..."
Tenten, Temari, Neji, Gaara, and Lee stared at Kankuro.
Lee spoke. "Kankuro, did you see that 4 hour long HeadOn commercial, pointing to your forehead?"
Kankuro remembered that thoroughly annoying HeadOn commercial he saw on the Weather channel, where the arrow was pointing to the woman's forehead while the voice is saying 'HeadOn, apply directly to the Forehead.' "Oh yeah."
"-IT GOES ON YOUR FOREHEAD, DAMMIT."
"Damn Neji, you don't have to yell."
"I've been using your HeadOn for the past 3 weeks, Kankuro!"
Tenten was laughing as Kankuro and Neji started wrestling and hitting each other. Lee was shouting out the HeadOn commercial while Gaara and Temari were making bets on who would win, Gaara eating Kankuro's blizzard. Shino was on the ground playing with some bugs.
"Whatever."
/4 minutes later/
"HA! I told you I'd win" Temari smirked as Gaara gave her the money. Neji was beat up on the ground while Kankuro slowly got up, wiping blood from his mouth.
----------------------
Back at the movies
The group closed their eyes as the killer, knife in hand, started to dart toward the 'people' and tried to stab them. They slowly opened their eyes, then immediately closed them again when they heard the loud buzzing of a chainsaw. Hinata was holding onto Kiba's arm and crying while the others were screaming in fear/excitement.
"K-k-kiba! WHY THE HELL DID YOU TAKE ME TO A DAMN 3-D HORROR MOVIE?"
"Because it's funner when it's 3-D." Kiba stated matter-of-factly as the killer stuck his head out of the movie screen and sucked everyone's spirit out (it IS Pulse, y'know)
Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji were screaming like you do when you're on a roller coaster, Choji eating Shikamaru's Raisinets. "HOLY CRAP!"
"I'm scared!" Hinata got up and tried to run out of the theater, only to be grabbed and shoved back into her seat by Kiba.
"Shh. The best part's coming up!" Kiba placed his finger over his lips as the killer slowly walked out of the screen, holding up his axe and his chainsaw and laughing maniacally. Choji, Shikamaru, Ino, and Kiba held onto eachother as the killer pulled the string switch from the chainsaw, turning it on. Hinata was in a fetal postitiong, saying 'I don't want to die, I don't want to die'
The killer spoke. "Do you have any last words to say before you die, because this will end your Pulse..."
"KIBA!1"
"Shh, Hinata. You're drowning out the sound."
"KIBA, I WANT TO GET OUT!"
"You think Naruto's going to love a chicken? You think anybody's going to like a chicken girl like you, huh? DAM HINATA, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU YELLING, BECAUSE WE CAN'T HEAR THE MOVIE!"
"KIBA INUZUKA, I AM ABOUT TO DIE!"
/20 minutes later/
"That was cool, wasn't it Hinata?" The hot guy going by the name of Kiba gave Hinata a nudge as they stepped out of the theater. Hinata was still crying.
"K-k-kiba, I was scared..."
"Relax Hinata, I've seen scarier." Kiba sighed, remembering what happened a few days ago.
"You GODS need to teach me." Shino whispered in awe as four of the Senseis were crowded around Gai, all of them wearing Hawaiian shirts...and nothing else.. Gai was shivering with excitement, cold, and being turned on as the two half-eaten scoops of Blue Bunny ice cream, topped in chocolate syrup, caramel, nuts, cherries, etc. were melting on his...yeah. Kurenai, Asuma, Kakashi, and Baki were staring at Shino in shock, and embarrassment.
Kurenai smiled. "Uh...sure Shino. I'll need a volunteer." She got up and walked towards Shino, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the bed. "Uh...you can be the volunteer. Do you know how to play 'Share the Banana Split'?"
"Uh...no."
"It's a no-hands thing. No spoon either." Kurenai stated as she was pulling off Shino's shorts. Shino perversely smiled.
Kiba shut his eyes. "Oh my god."
"Arf arf." barked Akamaru as he jumped onto the bed and started licking the ice cream on Gai's...blendy pen. The men cheered as Kurenai petted Akamaru and gave him a treat.
"See, Akamaru has the right idea."
"Akamaru?" Kiba whispered in horror, still spying on them from the hallway. "FUCK!"
Shino nodded. "I get it Kurenai-sensei."
Kiba shook the thought out from his mind. "I still have nightmares about that day."
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Later on that night, what's another day to celebrate an EVIL plan...by Kimimaro. The Sound 5 were sitting around the apartment they all share, but be reminded that they do not live in the same apartment building as the others. Sakon, Tayuya, Jiroubu, and Kidoumaru were sitting around a table. Kimi was at the front of the table, a board that was draped behind him.
"Guys...tonight is the night for our evil plan." Kimimaro stated, nodding towards the calendar on the wall, a picture of an oil-covered Orochimaru in a purple speedo with beige stripes on the January page, but that's not what he was talking about, mind you. Tonight was January 19th, AKA The Night of the Kimimaro Kaguya's Evil Plan, by Kimimaro Kaguya.
"But Kiiiimi, I have Lakers tickets."
"Shut up Kidoumaru. If we're going to get revenge on what happened January 19th last year, we're going to have to do this tonight." Kimimaro smiled evilly.
Tayuya sighed. "I remember, Kimi."
"Hey guys, let's take care of the little twerps again." Sakon got that look in his eye, one that means either shoving somebody into their locker, beating somebody up, or eating Jiroubu's Meatball Marinara sandwich from Subway. Jiroubu hid his paper bag as Sakon and Tayuya approached the twerps, also known as Team Sand.
"Prepare for tr-"
"FUCK THE FUCK OFF." yelled Gaara, giving his knuckles a loud crrrr-ack. Temari and Kankuro slowly backed away, pretending that they didn't know any of them.
Tayuya narrowed her eyes as him. "What the hell did you say to me?"
/slam/
Gaara had stuffed Tayuya in a locker. He also threw a rhinestoned gadget in there as well. "Here's your iPod, now you can enjoy your favorite hits from the Olive Pits, or whatever the hell you whores listen to."
"Black-Eyed Peas." Tayuya informed him from inside the locker.
"Oh yeah...do I smell Meatball Marinara?" Gaara approached the other four, all of them dropping their Subway bags in fear.
"That bastard took my sandwich. T.T" Kidoumaru, Sakon, Kimi, and Jiroubu muttered. Tayuya was on a diet at the time.
"So, let's review." Kimimaro said, unveiling the chalkboard. Stick figures were drawn on it along with a complicated map. He pointed to the stick figure that looked like Gaara. "This is Subject A-B 8."
Tayuya blinked. "Kimi. Can we call him Tim?"
"Fine." Kimi said, pointing to a stick figure of Temari. "This is Temari, she's in my calculus class. Anyway, she knows 'Tim', so all we got to do is trick her into bringing 'Tim' to the place where our plan will take place."
The Sound 5 started laughing maniacally...for 5 minutes. Then they stopped as Kimi picked up the phone
Walaa, chapter 2 is done...T.T XD next chapter features our heroes and villains, and that mysteriously evil plan...I bet Rei and Mike know what it is. X3