Konoha New York, chapter 3
AKA The chapter of The Night of the Kimimaro Kaguya's Evil Plan, by Kimimaro Kaguya.
Good afternoon/morning/night, all Konoha New York fans, it's time for, dun dun duuunn...Kimimaro's evil plan to get back at Gaara for eating his Meatball Marinara sub
Kimimaro: Mwahaha, my plan is deliciously EVIL
Gaara: I'm scarred for life. ox I HATE YOU KIMIMARO! you will die in a few weeks.
Kimimaro: You should be, it's KIMIMARO KAGUYA'S EVIL PLAN And I'm immortal...despite my Leukemia.
Well, that's very nice, but don't get into a lot of detail, Kimi... they hafta read the story first.
Characters will/may/possibly/will again, be OOC, and I will use item brands and stuff. I don't own Naruto, Naruto owns me. Dattebayo
Chapter dedicated to Prince Christian kun, AKA Chris/Vy Low on SPPF. 8D
AND, Sorry Haku fans. Haku has to be a bit -off- in this chapter, but I can't think of any other people who easily confused with the opposite sex...o.o
Kimi will now also give a shout-out to KaL-El of Krypt0n, for being one of the only 2 reviewers...xD
Kimi: Hi, KaL-El of Krypt0n. If you eat my Subway food, I will do to you what I did to Gaara. You have been warned. End transmission.
--------------
Recap of Chapter 2
"That bastard took my sandwich. T.T" Kidoumaru, Sakon, Kimi, and Jiroubu muttered. Tayuya was on a diet at the time.
"So, let's review." Kimimaro said, unveiling the chalkboard. Stick figures were drawn on it along with a complicated map. He pointed to the stick figure that looked like Gaara. "This is Subject A-B 8."
Tayuya blinked. "Kimi. Can we call him Tim?"
"Fine." Kimi said, pointing to a stick figure of Temari. "This is Temari, she's in my calculus class. Anyway, she knows 'Tim', so all we got to do is trick her into bringing 'Tim' to the place where our plan will take place."
The Sound 5 started laughing maniacally...for 5 minutes. Then they stopped as Kimi picked up the phone
End Recap
-------------
Temari was lying on the red leather couch in Team Sand's apartment. She flipped open her Razr to discover a text message from somebody named 'xxxAnOnYmOuSxxx'. Who could be texting her right now, on Gaara's birthday...it could be one of her friends since it was also Martin Luther King day. She hoped it was from Shikamaru.
'Dearest...no nono, wait...yeah. Hey, Temari,
I have a party going on at Apartment 306, 4th floor room 30. It's only for Gaara, but I couldn't text him since he ran out of minutes. Please tell him to come. I worked very hard on this party. I missed my episode of 7th Heaven on Saturday planning for this party; it will be very colorful. Ha ha. Ha. Happy Martin Luther King Day, by the way.
-Anonymous'
"Whatever." Temari said, deleting the message. "Gaara, some guy's throwing you a party at Kimi's apartment. I should know, since for the past 3 days, he's been screaming 'I'm throwing Gaara a party, don't come if you're him!' to the entire school."Temari thought that was stupid of him...yet, Gaara is anti-social.
Gaara straightened the tie he was wearing, a death look on his face. You all know Gaara, he hates wearing ties, along with 100 of the Naruto guys...except Gai. And Lee, if Gai's wearing a tie. Maybe green, with a Wizard of Oz theme. Gaara's tie's theme was black, flaming red skulls. It matched his black tuxedo and his flaming red hair...against popular belief, it's RED, not brown. "Is Kimi throwing it?"
(Gaara's pov.)
Temari sighed. "I JUST SAID, Kimimaro's throwing it."
I countered with a sigh in respose."Temari. Do you want me to kill you?"
"NO...at least not tonight. I don't wanna miss Seinfeld." Temari was texting Shikamaru, annoyed at him that he didn't text her for five whole minutes. I nodded and considered the party.
"Doesn't this strike you as odd? Nobody throws a party for you unless force them too." Shukaku was also wearing a tie and a tux as he sat on a couch and watched Falcon Beach reruns...yes, in my mind.
I rolled my eyes at my inner self. "I don't care, I'm not the kind of guy who passes a party." I replied to both Temari and Shukaku. "Call Kankuro and tell him I'm cancelling the salad party at Olive Garden and moving it to Bahama Breeze. I'm going to Kimi's party and will be at the restaurant by 9 o'clock."
"If you say so." Temari started texting all of her friends.
"But Jackass, Kimi hates your guts. He's probably setting you up...and I was in the mood for a venician salad, too." Shukaku pouted in disappointment, watching his dreams of eating the lettuce vanish from his mind...causing more disappointment.
I ignored him and grabbed my coat as I went outside. Once I reached outside, I started to walk to Kimi's apartment.
/16 minutes later/
I took the elevator to the fouth floor and approached what seemed to be the front door to Kimi's apartment. There was no music coming from Apartment 30. I figured he'll wait until I came. I knocked, but nobody answered after 5 minutes. I decided to go in anyway. "Uh...Kimi?"
Silence.
"Kimimaro, it's me, Gaara!"I shouted, expecting him to rush out...not wearing any pants...and looking really. HOT... Wait...Why the hell did I just think that? Shukaku, stop playing with my mind.
"But it's twice as fun as your Floam!"
"Listen, we've talked about this. You. Got. to. Stop. Getting. The. Wrong. Idea. ESPECIALLY from commercials like those. Remember what you did to me after you saw that Blendy Pens commercial?" Gaara was lecturing his inner demon as Shukaku took out a large tub of a squishy green substance.
"It's fun you can feel!" Shukaku was now making a Tiara out of floam.
I shuddered, then concentrated on the party.
A figure appeared from the bathroom. It was wearing what looked like a silky white gown. It's hair was long and black, a peaceful expression among it's face. I figured she was a party guest, so I started to walk toward her.
"Jackass, watch out."
"Hello." The figure winked and said in a voice that filled the air with suspicion. Almost like this was a bad idea, but I'm King of Bad Ideas, so what could possibly go wrong?
I cleared my throat as I apprached her. "Hey, are you here for Kimi's party?"
The woman made a sound...not a sound of complaining...more like a sound of PLEASURE. He spoke again in that same manly voice. "Gaara-sama. I AM Kimi's party."
"..."
Haku smiled in response, thoughts filling his mind.
(end Gaara's pov)
--------
Back at Kakashi's apartment, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke had gone somewhere, to Bahama Breeze to dine with Gaara's family and the others...Gaara not being there. Temari called the earlier telling them that the Italian party at Olive Garden was cancelled because Gaara had to go to Kimi's, but that never stopped them, of course. They knew Gaara wouldn't mind anyway.
But all the readers know the saying 'the students are away, the senseis will play', right? Well, it's true. For the past 6 hours, they've been eating ice cream...in a non-healthy way. Kinda like...giving Gai-sensei a bath, put it like that.
They were taking the party to the living room now, all of them in their Hawaiian shirts only.
"You young whipper snappers, partying all day and night." Tazuna smiled as he played a hawaiian tune on the steel drums and nodded toward the conga line going on while he played.
Asuma lit another cigarrette. "Easy for you guys to say. I got a brain freeze duing that last game." he corrected Tazuna, remembering the horrors of what happened to him.
Kurenai was wearing a headband, racing shoes, and a hawaiian shirt. Nothing else.I her hand as a can of Cool Whip."Ready, set, go!"
Asuma had my Plaza Hotel hat on, as I looked at the others, then whispered to Kurenai, who was next to him."Mmm, I'm Asuma the bellhop."
"Asuma, stop it with the bellhop, you did that one last weekend." Kurenai nudged him. "I'm taking one scoop."
Baki was squeezing the the Hershey's syrup onto the piles of ice cream sitting on Gai's 'package'. "I'll take three!"
Asuma took out a wad of money from his wallet on the counter. "I bet 80 bucks I can eat 30 scoops of this stuff."
The others did the same. "You're on!"
/about 5 scoops later/
"Argh, BRAINFREEZE!"
"Keep on going, Asuma!" Kakashi smiled and applied another scoop on Gai for Asuma to eat. Asuma clutched his head in pain.
"I need to stop."
"You realize if you stop eating, you're going to lose the bet." Kakashi informed him, cherry pit in his mouth. "Kurenai, turn him on again."
"w00t, Asuma!" Kurenai shook the whipped cream can and sprayed some on Asuma's head. "Let me clean that up for you with my 'broom'"
Gai got up and made a grab for the caramel bottle. "I'm the Oxiclean!"
/slap/
"No, ass wipe, I'M the oxiclean!" Baki stated, grabbing the caramel bottle from Gai. Then, they started what should be known as a pantless caramel fight!
"Baki, you're MR. Clean!"
"YOU'RE Mr. Clean!" Baki kicked Gai in the shin. Gai gave Baki a shin-kick in return.
"You're the bald guy!"
"-GUYS! I AM SERIOUS THIS TIME!"
"Relax, Asuma...lucky for you, I have Kankuro's HeadOn." Baki and Tazuna nodded, as if they were geniuses inventing the cure for the common cold.
Kurenai sighed. "It wasn't my fault Asuma. Gai's the one who kneed Tazuna's LifeAlert."
"I thought Kakashi did that!" Tazuna stopped playing, shocked from what he was hearing. "Gai, you young whipper snapper, it took a lot of explaining to do to the guys who came to see if I was ok!"
"Well, it's not my fault if I have these long dancer's legs. Plus your beard was tickling my sensitive...and my I add, VERY sensitive, package." Gai stated in response.
"I saw an episode of 60 Minutes saying that HeadOn didn't work. It's not true." Asuma was applying another dose of the glue-stick-like headache relief onto his forehead.
Baki thought for a moment, then shrugged."Well, Kankuro said he gave it magic."
Asuma kept on using it, strange looks from Kurenai, Tazuna, and Kakashi, two thumbs up from Gai. Kakashi stepped out of the conga line and pulled some pants on, making everyone disappointed. "Damn Gai, those guys almost arrested me!"
"Again, not my fault."
"I'm gonna get an Icee at 7-Eleven." Kakashi slammed the door behind them. Everyone else shrugged and continued what they were doing, but what Kakashi didn't know is that they were starting to have ideas! Yes, they always get the wrong idea when it invovels something with the words "do", "did", or "icee" in it...that's obviously how the sensei's are. Average ordinary grown-ups...in the state of communication, as they like to call it.
/3 minutes later/
"I'm back, guys!"
"ICEE!" Kurenai and the other men tackled Kakashi, one of them stealing Kakashi's Icee and running back towards his bedroom. The others quickly followed, leaving the clueless Kakashi behind.
"Why am I always the one left behind? Anyway...Naruto wants be at Bahama Breeze, but I don't want to go to Gaara's party. I'm afraid he'll kill me if I give him a gift he hates...what should I do now?"
"I know." An imaginary version of a miniature angel Kakashi appeared on Big Kakashi's right shoulder. "You should buy another Icee, then go to Bahama Breeze to be with your students while they're celebrating their friend's birthday. It would be right!" Angel Kakashi smiled and blushed, a halo appearing over his head. "Just think about how happy Gaara would be."
"Pffth. Yeah, right." Devil Kakashi appeared on Big Kakashi's left shoulder, holding a red pitchfork. "I called my friend Kimi and told him to give Gaara a Happy Birthday/Martin Luther King 'party'. He won't be showing up at BB for a LONG time."
Angel Kakashi crossed his arms. "But still, you need to be with your students. They depend on you if anything goes wrong, Kakashi! Anyway, Devil Kakashi's lying. I'm sure Gaara would love your gift. It's the thought that counts!"
"Don't listen to that Angel Bastard, Kakashi. Stay here and plow with your friends, that monster never did anything to you, yet he'll kill you when you show up giving him a damn Tommy Hilfiger watch. That bastard's world is being rocked by Haku right now."
Big Kakashi evilly grinned. "That's what the red-headed demon gets for eating my Meatball Marinara."
/shot/
Devil Kakashi flew of Big Kakashi's shoulder and slammed against the wall. Blood spewed out as he slowly slid toward the floor. Big Kakashi looked at his right shoulder to see Angel Kakashi giving him a death look, sniper gun in hand.
"LISTEN TO ME! YOU GET YOUR ASS TO THAT PARTY RIGHT NOW OF I'LL SHOOT YOU!"
"Oh god, this is worse than the time that Iruka tried to touch me at the PTA meeting." Kakashi closed his eyes as a flashback developed.
"Naruto is very...good. At poetry. He made one up that truly explains my feeling for you, Kakashi." Iruka took out a paper and started reading from it. "The way Kakashi's hair blows in the wind, makes me wanna experiment with him. And by experiment with him I mean have sex with him. And by have sex with him I mean experiment with him. That's how much he means to me." Iruka hugged Kakashi and held him ever-so-gently.
Kakashi slowly stepped back. Towards the exit-back. "Yeah...you're just a friend."
Angel Kakashi smacked Kakashi on the head...not that it made any effect. "THANK YOU, YOU GAVE ME THIS IMAGE!" he yelled. big Kakashi gave a gulp as he closed his gun handle-thingy. "Go. To. Bahama. Breeze. NOW!"
------------
It was 9: 30. Gaara was supposed to be at Bahama Breeze half an hour ago, but the waiters can't wait forever, so they started without him. Shikamaru sighed and finally ordered his drink. "Diet Mountain Dew."
The waiter, who was impatiently waiting for about 5 minutes for Shikamaru to choose a drink, wrote that down on a notepad.
Temari leaned against Shikamaru and put her arm around him, Shikamaru not minding because he fell asleep a few seconds ago. "Waiter, do you think my boyfriend is hot?"
"No. May I start you off with a drink?" the waiter asked in a bored tone...an 'I really wish I weren't here right now' button pinned on his vest.
"Uh...Pina Colada. And your button looks very familiar." Temari ordered and pointed to the button.
The waiter sighed. That's one Pina Colada I'll be pissing in, he thought. "Whatever. You guys?"
"I want Chef Boyardee!" shouted Naruto. "Believe it! Believe it, Mr. Waiter, believe it!"
The waiter slammed his notepad on the table, along with his pen. "If you say 'believe it' one more time...I'LL DRAG YOU TO THE SUSHI TABLE AND CHOP YOUR BALLS OFF!"
"Okay...Chef Boyardee for me please!" Naruto determinedly gave the waiter a hug.
The waiter shoved Naruto off. "I can only imagine being your supervisor. Okay...diet sodas all around?"
"Um...actually, I wanted a Spri-" Tenten was cut off by the waiter, who nodded and wrote 'diet cokes'. Then he took off, getting as far away from the table as possible. Tenten rolled her eyes. "What the hell is HIS problem?"
Sakura blinked. She was drawing pictures of Sasuke on the paper-made tablecloth. "I dunno...hey guys, where's Gaara?"
Lee thought for a minute, then shrugged. He then turned to the raven-haired ninja he loves to torture, otherwise known as Sasuke. "Hey, Sasuke, let's make a bet"
Sasuke thought for a minute. This was a bet that he will surely win, since Gaara is always late for everything. "Okay, fine. I'll bet you my Hilfiger shorts that he'll come late...if he doesn't show up, we exchange wardrobes. If he does, you give me your spandex."
"Deal!" Lee was sure he would win. If he got Sasuke's outfit then all of the chicks will flock to him...not that they did. Sasuke's Nikes didn't work at all.
/the next morning/
It was a peaceful sunday. Trafic was light as Kankuro was in the living room doing his morning Sunday Ritual, with his puppet.
"In Gotham City, one with the power to stop the evil forces of the Joker is BAAAAAATMAN!" Kankuro was wearing his batsuit and a load of make-up. His puppet was cosplaying as the Joker as a few stuffed animals were dressed as local citizens. He grabbed a stuffed dog dressed as a woman and made it fall off the table. "DON'T WORRY MARTHA I'LL SAVE YOU!" Kankuro made a dive to catch the dog.
/crash/
"Oww." Batman Kankuro was rubbing the bruise on his head. Either way, it's time for THAT part of the ritual. He took out the love pillow that he found in Baki's closet. SUPPOSEDLY, it was what Baki was going to give him next Christmas. He then got on the couch...
"I'M AM GOING. TO KICK. HIS. HAIRY A-holy shit." Gaara was now staring at Kankuro. Kankuro quickly hid 'Margaret' and rubbed the make-up off his face. 5 minutes later, he was casually on the couch. "Uh. Hi Gaara."
"I forgot it's Sunday, Kankuro." Gaara sat down on the couch...then quickly got up after taking in what happened on that couch. It was then that Temari and Shikamaru had walked into the apartment building.
"GAARA, YOU STOOD US UP." Temari yelled at him. Gaara gave a glare back, then shook his head no.
"I did NOT stand you up. Kimimaro stood me up."
"Aww, Gaara. What he do, lure you into thinking that he accepted you but then find out that he had nothing planned for you, so he broke heart?"
"NO, he hired this transvestite PROSTITUTE to 'Rock Around The Clock' with me. I HATE HIM!" Gaara shouted, twitching from recalling what happened last night
"So. Let's get this party started." Haku, being as fast as a speeding bullet, took Gaara by his wrist and pulled him into a room against his will, locking the door behind him. He picked up the demon and threw him onto the heart-shaped bed, in which he locked Gaara onto using hand-and-leg-cuffs. "Now. A friend called me saying you didn't recieve enough love in the past.
"What...the fuck..." Gaara tried to get free, but neertheless he was still cuffed to the bed.
"Ahh, so THAT'S his game! Oh, good for you, you lucky bastard." Shukaku was watching his dream to get seducted like that by a man/woman happen to his outer demon.
"Shukaku? What the hell do I do!"
"Shh. Play along with him and let HIM do all the work. Then get him to confess." Shukaku vanished.
"Um...okay...yes, now all my chances of love is right here...in front of me..." Gaara brought his lips to Haku's. He made a mental note to wash his mouth out with Colgate IMMEDIATELY after he got home.
Haku, however, sensed that Gaara wanted more...
"Awesome." Kankuro rose his hand in a high-5 pose, but then slowly lowered it down when he realized Gaara was not going to high-5 him back.
Shikamaru opened his eyes. "So, like...you're a hoerunner now?"
Gaara blinked in confusion, not being on Shikamaru's wavelength. "Uh...what?"
"My uncle used to drive a hoerunner." Kankuro informed Shikamaru.
"Just leave me the hell alone. I need a plan." Gaara paced around the kitchen, thinking of some deliciously-evil scheme to get back at Kimimaro.
/30 seconds later/
"This calls for desperate measures...I need my bomb." Gaara was now in his room...thrashing it and looking for Mandark, his beloved teddy bear he hid a bomb in after the Uncle Yashamaru incident. After 5 minutes, he gave up...seeing it's nowhere to be found. "KANKURO!"
"What." Kankuro was on the couch, playing Mario Football on his PSP as Gaara ran into the living room.
"Where's Mandark?"
"Who?" Kankuro didn't look up for the PSP. Gaara then grabbed it in exaspiration, throwing it at the wall, causing it to break into a million pieces. He turned to face his now-crying brother in a Batman Suit.
"My teddy bear. The one with the bomb in it." Gaara was now tapping his foot in impatience, arms crossed, ready to kill Kankuro is he says 'I don't know'.
A puzzled look spread upon Kankuro's face. "...there was a bomb in it?"
"Was?"
Kankuro gave him a how-could-you-not-know look. "Uhh. I gave it to Goodwill."
Silence
Gaara was now pointing a knife at Kankuro's neck."Oh, you BETTER be joking, Kankuro. Because he's one of my best friends and you know as well as I do that you should NEVER give any of my personal belongings to charity. Plus, I need to blow off Kimi's head NOW."
Kankuro slowly moved Gaara's knife-holding hand away from his neck. As soon as it was away from killing distance, he tried to make his baby brother feel better. "Relax, Gaara. Here's an idea. Go back to Build-a-Bear workshop and make another one."
/bitch slap/
"IDIOT. Who knows when he could strike next?"
"Fuck that nigga up. FUCK that nigga UP!" Shukaku was cheering for Gaara while drinking a 40 and wearing a football helmet, a NFL party going on. He held up a poster as the Kyubi, Sanbi, and Nibi were in the background, doing the Cha Cha Slide.
"Don't curse, Shukaku. You're setting a bad example for the kids." Gaara pointed out.
"Uh, WHAT?" Kankuro had a Band-aid on his head and looked up at his demon sibling. Gaara waved his hand in reply. "Not you, Kan. Shukaku."
I'm going to hire an excorcist, Kankuro thought as Gaara stood there,appearing to be talking to himself.
/5 seconds later/
"-YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS!" Kankuro shouted...then a thought crawled into his mind. He doesnt, right?
Gaara raised an eyebrow...or whatever he had of an eyebrow. "The kids reading the STORY."
"Oh...wait, what story? And why the hell are you having a party anyway?" Kankuro asked.
"BECAUSE, it's a NFLDDR party." the racoon demon got on his DDR machine. His friends cheered him on as he was stepping on the arrows. "CHA HIGH SCORE! INTITALS, P-W-N. BITCH!"
"Whatever. I'm going to Build-a-Bear." Gaara got his coat and left. Kankuro followed him.
"Gaara, wait up. I need more citizens for Batman." he locked the apartment door and followed whom he feared.
----------------------
"Shino." Kiba was at Wal-Mart, grabbing Shino by his collar and pulling him behind the yard aisle.
"Kiba, I hope you DO realize that this is like...against the law or somethin'." Shino said to Kiba. Kiba shushed him down as Hinata appeared next to Kiba, a fearful look on her face.
"K-kiba...what are we doing h-here?" Hinata whispered, afraind of what Kiba has in store for her. (Get it? Store? Wal-mart? Eh, bad pun. o.o xD)
Kiba looked around to see if anyone was near. Seeing that there wasn't, he leaned toward Hinata.
"We're going to steal some bikes."
"Kiba! That's illegal! That's even worse than that idea you had when we were at Chuck E. Cheese's!" Hinata gasped and try to convice Kiba out of it.
"Ski-ball. The ultimate sport of concentration...IS ABOUT TO BE PWNED, BY THE SKI-BALL LEGEND. Kiba Inuzuka." Kiba grinned and pointed off into the distance in triumph. Shino shruuged and played with a bug while the ski-balls were released into the opening of the machine.
Kiba grabbed one and easily threw it in the hole. "Hah. Easy peezy. Hinata, your turn." he said as handed a ski-ball to Hinata. Hinata has never ski-balled before, so Kiba had to teach her. "Now. Listen up. Take some notes from the master."
"Uh...yes, K-kiba." Hinata took out a notepad and a pen. After rubbing it on the page to get some ink, she wrote what Kiba said.
"Concentrate on your destination. YOU are the ball. Now, roll it onto the ramp and let it take you where you want to go." he advised her.
Hinata threw the ball onto the rim of the hole. The ball, unfortunately, hit the rim and bounced off it and onto some poor soul's head.
/bump/
"OW!" Shikamaru was now clutching his head in pain. "HINATA!"
"Sorry!" Hinata blushed and apologized. "Kiba, I didn't make it. Can I have some more advice?"
"Advice? Fuck, girl. Am I supposed to be a psychiatrist? When I grow up, I'm gonna be an electrician." Kiba tossed another ball into the hole...or not. Hinata watched as the ball boucned off the rim and hit someone on the head...again.
/bump/
"ARGH." Shikamaru fell onto the floor in pain. He looked under the Ski-ball machine as he fell. "Hey, someone dropped a token!"
"Sorry Shikamaru!" Kiba apologized as well, sounding like he was enjoying it. He then thought for a moment. "OOH, GUYS. Let's go to Wal-mart."
"Well, this is different. And besides, he deserved to be hit on the head, because that bastard stole my bag of Doritos." Kiba made sure te coast was clear. He then dragged Shino and Hinata to the bike rack. "Hurry, pick one."
"Um...uh..." Hinata stammered. Kiba gave her a look that said 'pick NOW' and she took a pink one. Shino's was a Jurrasic Park themed one. Kiba's was a red Magma one.
Team 9 quickly got on the bikes and rode out of the store, passing the cashier. After they were about 40 blocks away, Kiba raised a fist in victory. "YEAH!"
"That was...to close..." Hinata was crying. "WON'T WE GET ARRESTED?"
"Pffth. NO. And besides, we got like...bikes now." Kiba, Hinata, and Shino removed the price tags from the bikes and rode to McDonalds, where, surprisingly, they ran into Team Ino!
Ino approached Kiba. "No I'm not buying your food. Now get outta my face." Kiba walked away from the dissapointed Ino. "What brings you guys here?"
"Owowow." Shikamaru gave Kiba and Hinata a look, holding a bag of ice to his head. "This is literally such a pain...and you all know Choji."
Choji was ordering some food from the cashier. "Uhh...A sixtruple pounter with extra cheese in layer one, onions on layer 2..."
"And, Naruto's group is here."
"HI KIBA, HINATA, AND SHIIIIIIINOOOOO!" Naruto sang off key as he spun around, colliding into a table and tripping. Sakura gave him a thump on the head, embarrased by Naruto's behavior.
"YOU'RE EMBARRASING THE HELL OUT OF YOURSELF, NARUTO!" She yelled at him. Hinata quickly blushed and looked down. "Hi...N-naruto..."
Sasuke was standing a few meters away...wearing a green spandex...an I-really-wish-I-weren't-here-right-now button pinned onto his spandex as well. He looked angry/embarrased and was tapping his foot in impatience. I wonder where everyone gets that button...oh well. Kiba took out a digital camera. "HAHAHA, BLACKMAIL!"
"Kiba, you're like...evil." Shino was making a flower necklace out of some daisies he found outside the restaurant. Some bugs were crawling on the table in which he sat at.
Kiba ignored him. "What. Ever. I'm putting this on Myspace."
Sasuke shut his eyes and banged a fist on the table. "Shut up." He said through gritted teeth. Kiba took another snapshot as Choji, Sakura, Naruto, Shikamaru, Ino and Hinata joined Shino, Kiba, and Sasuke.
"Hey guys. Look at this." Kiba showed a picture of Shikamaru sitting on a chair, with his legs open. He was holding a hot-dog to that 'place' which seperates the boys from the men...you get the picture. With the other hand, he was pouring mustard on it. Everybody tried to keep from laughing except Hinata and Shikamaru himself.
"FUCK KIBA, THAT'S NOTHING BUT DAMN PHOTOSHOP!" Shikamaru tried to take Kiba's camera and destroy it...but Kiba, being Kiba, had already saved it onto his hard drive...Shikamaru doesn't know that.
Hinata tried to get Kiba to stop being...himself. "Kiba, that's very rude...ESPECIALLY when we're about to eat lunch."
Kiba shut his camera off and turned to his teammate. "Aww, Hinata. This couldn't be worse then that time I blackmailed Neji while playing I Never."
"Come on Neji, let's play I Never!" Kiba did a 'Gai-wink.' Neji glared at him.
"...yeah, only if you promise never to do that again." the Hyuga Branch memeber sat down with Kiba, Lee, and Shino, beer bottles all around him.
Lee winked. "Okay, here's the deal. I say something I never did, but you have to drink a sip of beer if you did the thing I said I never did. Okay? And you cannot use it for blackmail."
"Tell Kiba to get rid of the video security camera, then." Neji glanced up toward the corner of the room, his eyes fixed on the camera set un on the corner.
Kiba froze, then scratched the back of his head. "Uh...yeah. It's off."
Lee started. "Okay. I never kissed a guy on the lips playing truth or dare."
Nobody drank. Kiba went next. "Uh...I never cried because Wildfire was cancelled."
Only Neji drank. Shino went next. "Uh...I never did the same thing, only for season one of Kyle XY."
Again, only Neji drank.
/42 drinks later/
Kiba, Shino, and Lee were still playing, a near-full bottle of beer in front of each of them. Neji was drunk and there were empty beer bottles everywhere. Lee went again. "I never cried during the part when the alien dies on E.T."
"Oh...my...god..." Neji drank another sip, then nearly fell over. He was saved by Shino.
"I never did my cousin at Kurenai-sensei's Halloween party." Kiba shrugged, hoping Neji didn't do it.
"Stop it, Kiba!" Neji took another sip. "It doesn''t count. We were playing Truth or Dare on AIM earlier and Kankuro DARED MEEEE!"
"What a baby." Shino mumbled, then spoke louder. "It's destiny, Neji. It was like...meant to happen and stuff. I never did the same thing, except on Easter Sunday with Tenten."
"DAMN YOU ALL." after another sip, Neji fainted from overdose. Shino, Kiba, and Lee all got up and ckecked on him.
Lee kicked him. "Damnnnn...he's out cold...hey...Let's write on him!" Lee, Kiba, and Shino did a 'Mr. Grinch' smile as they took out Crayola markers.
"Oh. My. God..." Team Ino and Team Naruto were staring open-mouthed at Kiba. Ino spoke. "That was YOU?"
"Why, DUH. Later that night, I uploaded it on YouTube." Kiba seemed proud of himself.
Naruto crawled under the table, where he found a french fry on the floor and ate it. "GO KIBA!"
-------
"The little girl went outside and found a kitten on her door step. She picked the kitten up and went back insode the house. She asked her mommy is she can keep him. 'Please Mommy, can I keep him?' the little girl said. The little girl's mommy thought. 'Okay. You can keep him.'" Moegi was reading from a book.
In front of her sat Konohamaru, Udon, Inari, Hanabi, and a few more ninja academy students, all sitting on mats. Among them was Kimimaro, Sakon, Tayuya, Kidoumaru, and Jiroubu on mats as well, each holding a carton of milk and a cookie.
/pause/
"Booooo." Hanabi broke the silence by standing up and cupping her hands around her mouth...she was using Byakugan, which meant she could see through clothes, a gift a LOT of people would kill to have. "HEY! YOU FROM PLANET BAD HAIR DO! HEY YOUR HAIRY ORANGE ASS OFF.THE. STAGE. Unless you're gonna be reading an Avatar book." Hanabi loved Avatar, The Last Airbender. In her words, ANYONE WHO TOUCHES ZUKO BURNS IN HELL, may Lord Zuko eat you with A-1 steak sauce.
Moegi dropped her book in shock. Yondaime Hokage (I'm just gonna call him Yondaime. o.o) stood up from his desk and patted Moegi's back. "There there, Moegi. Hanabi, have I ever told you the story about when I sealed the Kyubi inside a child, then died in the process? It costs your own life to save the whole village, and I did everything I can to protect it. People had to beg Orochimaru to revive me."
Hanabi narrowed her eyes. "Pussy."
"Hanabi!" Konohamaru turned to Hanabi in surprise.
"WHAT, there's this old bitch three times as old as MR. ROGERDAIME over here who sealed a monster inside a child as well, and SHE'S still alive." Hanabi said to Konohamaru.
Tayuya nudged Kimimaro. "Why the fuck are we even here?"
"Shh. Tayuya. I'll explain it to you later, but right now I want to know what happens to the cat." With that, Kimimaro gestured for Moegi to go on, Yondaime signaling for Hanabi to sit down. She did was she was told, yet she glared at Kimimaro and raised a clenched fist at him. "This isn't over."
--------------
"Alright men...and girl." Gaara said as he walked down the row consisting of Kankuro, Temari, Lee, Neji, and Tenten. Team Gai wanted in on this...just except for Gai. He had other things to do. Gaara was wearing a burgundy overcoat with fishnet wrists, with burgundy pants with fishnet ankles to match. It was Armani. An ivory white sash was worn around his shoulder and tied around his waist.
"Our mission to get back at Kimimaro will be compleated by all means neccesary. We have to fight, yet be unsuspecting at the same time. Now. Here's our first mission." Gaara pointed to...a chalkboard with stick figures drawn all over it. He then started whispering very quietly, informing Team Gai and his siblings abotu his plan for revenge.
"...and that's what we have to do. We'll begin tommorrow morning, when the enemy is at school. Any questions?" Gaara looked at his comrades.
"Gaara, sir!" Temari stated. "I must say I love your outfit. It goes great with your hair."
"Agreed, sir Gaara." Tenten nodded and turned to her friends. "Don't you imagine that somewhere in a parallel universe, he's roaming around with a large gourd on his back taking the lives of innocent people using sand?"
Team Gai, Kankuro, and Temari put their hands to their chins and nodded their heads as Gaara opened his closet and pulled his gourd out.
-------------
"Kakashi, where have you been?" Kurenai greeted him as he walked into his apartment.
Kakashi looked tired, like he's been up all night waiting for a kid who could kill him in 3 seconds."Kurenai, I'm not in the mood." Then Kakashi noticed something very odd.
Kurenai was dressed. "Kakashi, let's go to Publix."
"No." Kakashi answered, then looked at his empty refridgerator. "Okay fine."
/later/
The senseis walked into Pubkix as Kakashi took out a list. "Okay guys. I wrote a list of what to buy. Now, we'll divide the list by 5, then we'll split up and complete the l-"
Kakashi looked up from his list to see that his friends weren't there...they were running to the ice-cream aisle. "...okay, nevermind."
-----------
End of Chapter 3. xD Gaara's plan is Chapter 4. Thanks for reading and stuff.
Kimi: Eh...there just wasn't enough 'me' in it. o.o MY PLAN WORKED PERFECTLY!