Now for those of you who never watched a lot of Buffy you may be at a loss. In Buffy's junior year because her vampire boyfriend (with a soul) turned evil she couldn't bring herself to dispose of him quickly. In result a lot of people died and despite Buffy's seemingly pleasant façade the guilt eats her up…And since I forgot to mention this in the first Chapter I better say it now. I own none of these character their strictly Joss's. I'm just having fun. Okay I'm done now enjoy. TTFN.

(Thank you shadow high angel for being my first reviewer person thingy YOU ROCK!)

(Thank you zigpal also…and begging though not necessary is appreciated. LOL)

CHAPTER TWO:

"So…?" Buffy asked looking at Tara motioning them to start walking towards town, "Anything particular you'd like to see? Do?"

"A-Actually I was hoping…I-I really j-just w-wanted to talk to you…" Tara quickly looked down blushing. "I m-mean it d-doesn't really matter w-whatever y-you want to do is f-fine." Buffy frowned noticing her stutter worsening.

"Okay well how about we compromise." That got Tara to look up at Buffy questioningly.

"Since you obviously know where the campus is and the Magic Box the only two really hot spots left are the Bronze and the Espresso Pump."

"Coffee shop?" Tara questioned referring to the Pump.

"Yup." She nodded towards the shop they were approaching. "The Bronze I can show you another time it's a dud during the day anyway."

"I t-take it that's not a tanning salon then?" She asked grinning crookedly making Buffy laugh.

"Hardly." she opened the door to the Espresso Pump allowing Tara to proceed in front of her. Tara nodded her thanks and approached the small line leading to the counter. "the vampires wouldn't be so keen to visit if it was…then again they are kind of pale…" She looked at Tara thoughtfully. "Can vampires tan…?" Tara shook her head no while laughing loudly causing a few of the patrons to look their way. Buffy smiled as the blonde calmed down some then clarified. "Actually it's a more of a night club, dance club teen thingy."

"S-So that would explain their attraction to the place than I take it." Buffy nodded.

"Yeah but aside from the occasional bloodsucker it's not too bad. The majority of my junior, senior year was spent there." She frowned, instantly missing Willow and Xander who she'd hardly seen since summer had ended and made a mental note to plan a day for them to get together.

"W-What's wrong…b-bad memories…" Tara questioned noting the change in Buffy's demeanor.

"No not really it just reminded me how much I miss Xander and Willow." Tara quirked a brow at that wondering if perhaps Buffy was dating Xander or anyone for that matter. "We've been through so much in the past couple years, and between Willow and her massive schedule this year and Xander getting a job at a construction sight we don't see each other as often as we used to." Tara looked down at the floor trying not to blush.

"A-Are you and X-Xander…t-together?" Buffy turned a pair of incredulous eyes upon the taller blonde and snorted out loud which eventually evolved into a full blown laughter. "W-What's so funny?" Tara asked not sure how to take Buffy's reaction.

"Hardly…no make that a when hell freezes over type thing…I love Xander but he's like my little nerdy brother so no…definitely no." Buffy sighed finally getting her laughter under control. "You'll meet him soon enough and you'll see what I mean…" there conversation was put on hold as they approached the counter.

"Hello ladies and what can I get you?" the young boy behind the counter asked taking a long moment to stare at Tara before raking his eyes over Buffy. Tara stiffened noticing how the teenager was practically ogling the shorter blonde while she scanned the menu.

"Buffy I'm g-going to find a s-seat." She reached in her pocket and pulled out a five not understanding why she was getting so upset over something so innocent. It wasn't like Buffy belonged to her. "Here j-just get me whatever y-you're getting." Buffy looked at Tara then over to the quickly filling tables than back to Tara who was now holding out a five. She just assumed that the blonde had wanted to nab a seat instead of having to stand the whole time. Shaking her head she pushed the blonde's hand gently back towards her refusing the money.

"I've got it." She smiled at Tara who was about to offer her the five again. Pointing to a vacant table she motioned for Tara to grab it before someone else did. Finally giving up she smiled at the slayer and turned towards the newly open table towards the back. Buffy unconsciously licked her lips watching the blonde walk away, and then turned her attention back to the boy at the counter.

Tara sat at a nearby booth watching as Buffy made their order and tried to get her feelings under control, she took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair letting it fall in her face, not knowing why was she getting so upset, why she felt so drawn to the slayer so protective so entranced, she laughed at that. It wasn't anything new, she had felt it since the day they'd met, it's what had brought her here. She'd felt compelled to see her ever since their first meeting, the thought of seeing her again keeping her going after her mother's death

She felt her heart warm and the anger dissipate as Buffy moved towards the table carrying two mochas and what looked like two blueberry muffin in the other hand. "Is this okay?" Buffy asked setting the hot drink in front of the Wicca followed by a muffin before sitting down herself. "If not I can get you something else." Tara shook her head no and smiled gratefully.

"N-No this is fine thank y-you." She reached for the muffin and broke off a piece. "I l-love blueberries." Buffy smiled happy that she had picked something the girl would like.

"So?" Buffy asked after taking a sip of her drink. Tara looked up into a pair of playful eyes. "You like blueberries?" She smiled at the slayer.

"Y-Yes my mom used to make blueberry pancakes when I was younger." Her eyes saddened briefly causing the slayer to frown. "She passed away a little over a year ago." Tara filled in sensing the question coming.

"I'm sorry." The admittance took Buffy by surprise. To know that this beautiful woman could have had to deal with something like that at so young made her stomach tighten she couldn't be much older than herself. "How'd it happen?"

"Cancer." Tara sighed letting her hair fall in her face to cover her moistening eyes. "I-It wasn't sudden, she had been diagnosed a few years before…it w-was just a matter of time b-before…" she shuddered a breath recalling her mother's last words to her. Find the lighted path that shines in align with the calling of your own daughter. Find your soul, find your way, find the light. "S-She was ready I think? I-I just wish I-I could've been." Buffy reached over to grasp Tara's hand in her own, letting the warm buzz they share permeate throughout their bodies calming the older girl considerably. "S-Sometimes I just w-wish I could have known what I know now…then m-maybe I could have s-saved her."

"Would she have wanted that?" Buffy questioned. Seeing the truth in Tara's eyes before the Wiccan spoke.

"N-No she taught me better than to interfere with the natural course of life…it's just I-I felt so helpless at the time…" She ducked her head down again tears streaming down her face freely now. "S-Still do sometimes when I think a-about it…"

"It doesn't matter how many vampires I slay or how many demons I kill" Buffy whispered her own pain surfacing, the guilt from her junior year rising "…there are still those that I can't save." She sighed whipping some of the gathering tears in her own eyes. "So many lives I could have saved if I had only known, been a little faster, a second quicker, stronger…but I can't" She forced a laugh. "You think with all these super powers they'd have given me something more useful like a time machine." Tara smiled weakly at the slayer seeing the haunted expression and wounded aura coveting the girl's eyes despite the light tone to the slayers voice.

"Y-You can't be everywhere at once Buffy." She squeezed the slayers hand tighter. "And you shouldn't blame yourself for that. Just with you being here fighting, risking you're life every night, think of how many lives you have saved. H-How many people are still alive because of you."

"But there are so many I should have saved!" she said harshly looking down at the table "…my junior year…I was so wrapped up in myself…so many people could still be here if only I had done my job." Tara's heart went out to the Slayer at hearing the self loathing in her voice.

"I know you can't save everyone and you can't change the past, the same way I can't with my m-mom." She took a breath trying to find away to explain this to the slayer, make her understand, make the hurt lessen "B-But I do know that we all make mistakes and unfortunately that may weigh heavier on you than on m-most but…no one should carry the sadness I see in your eyes. No one!" She whipped a falling tear from the slayers eye with her thumb. "No one should have to drown in the what if's this world offers…including you." She looked at Buffy seriously almost pleading her to understand "I-I know part of you will always carry the guilt but try to see past that…see what you have saved and know that you are responsible for not just the death but also the life."

"But…"

"No." She touched the slayer's face. "L-Look around Buffy" she looked around the room for emphasis than back at the slayer. "Every person here is alive b-because of you….I'm alive today because of you!" Buffy's breath caught in her chest at the seriousness of Tara's words and depth of honesty in her eyes and couldn't control the fresh tears now freely falling from her eyes. Tara sighed as the slayers aura seemed to lighten slightly at that and waited for the tears to stop, occasionally running her fingers over the slayers hand in a comforting gesture.

"How can you do that?" Buffy asked seriously, whipping the last of the tears from her face.

"D-Do what?" Tara asked taken aback.

"Take away the hurt," Buffy croaked interlocking there fingers more tightly and locking her eyes with Tara's.

"I-I just showed you what you were blinding yourself to Buffy." She said seriously reached for the slayers other hand. "and I can see that the pain is still there, lingering at the edges and I wish I could make it go away but I can't and unfortunately I don't think it will ever completely leave you." Buffy nodded her head looking at their hands clasped tightly on the table as their coffees sat forgotten growing cold. "B-But that doesn't mean it should be allowed to consume you." Tara added meeting Buffy's eyes.

"I think that's exactly what it was doing..." Buffy murmured in agreement noticing how light she was feeling now, not aware at how much the guilt had been weighing her down, how heavy she had felt the last couple years. "Consuming me. And I think you're right, I don't think it will ever completely disappear…and" she was thoughtful for a moment. "I don't think I'd want it to." She smiled sadly at the Wiccan noticing the confusion there "How can I hope to make the future better if I can't remember the past?" she clarified. Tara smiled encouragingly at the slayer. "I know I can't change what has happened but at least I could learn from it…and for that thank you."

"I-I didn't do anything." Tara said not knowing what Buffy was thanking her for.

"For making me see." Buffy whispered letting her eyes show her sincerity. Tara was struck by Buffy's words and didn't know what to say. Here was the Slayer. No. Not just the Slayer but her savior. The warrior of light, a girl who was fighting the world with all its evils thanking her. She just shook her head.

"Buffy you saved my life and probably hundreds more since than. And I don't think I could…or anyone else for that matter could really understand or comprehend what you have done or have had to sacrifice. What you're thanking me for has little comparison to that."

"I don't know how to make you understand but it's just as important." She glanced at her watch and looked at the Wicca sadly. "We should get going." Tara nodded and released Buffy's hands after one final squeeze and moved to help her clean up the trash.

"Are you d-done or did you want to take it with you?" Tara asked looking at the slayers cold coffee.

"No I'm done it's no good cold anyway." Tara nodded in understanding and threw away both of their hardly touched coffees along with the remnants of their now mutilated muffins while Buffy stacked their plates on the pick up counter. "Ready?" Buffy asked moving towards the door. "Did you want anything else before we leave?"

"N-No I'm fine but thank you anyway. D-Did you want something?" Tara asked.

"Nah I'm fine." She held the door open for the Wicca and followed her out. When they had nearly approached the Magic Box and no one had said anything Tara finally broke the silence.

"B-Buffy…what is it?" she asked thinking that perhaps she had upset the shorter blonde in someway. "A-Are you m-mad at me?" Buffy stopped and looked at the witch.

"Tara…" she searched her mind for the words to express what she felt. "I don't know how to make you understand." She sighed and they continued walking. "I meant what I said before." She sighed and stuffed her hands in her pockets. "I don't know how you did it but you helped me see past the destruction…and not just that but offered me a hand to pull myself out from under it." She looked at Tara pulling them to a stop outside the entrance of the Magic Box. "No one has done that before, I feel this huge weight lifted," she kicked at the ground nervously before looking back up meeting shy eyes. "You were my eyes when I was blinded." She began to open the door to the Magic Box and looked back at Tara. "And for that thank you." Tara could see the gravity in the Slayers words and simply nodded blushing slightly letting her hair fall in her face. Buffy reached forward and pushed the hair behind her ear. "I really mean that. Even Slayer's need saving sometimes." Their eyes locked.

"I can be you're eyes." Tara whispered feeling the buzz travel through her whole body where Buffy had touched her face.

"Promise?" Buffy asked seriously not understanding why she felt so comfortable with the Wiccan or the need to keep her near.

"Y-Yes." Tara said knowing that she'd do whatever it took to help Buffy.

"Good, because I'm going to hold you to that." They both smiled at that before Buffy opened the door fully for Tara and they both made their way back into the Magic Box.

Okay so that was the end of chapter 2. Sorry it's so short. But I had to get it out. Chapter 3 will be coming soon promise. And always feedback is appreciated…and wanted…and needed…and I totally think you get the point.