New Konoha, a MODERN Naruto Story Chapter 7, Taming the Wild, a naruto fanfic

Chapter 7

Taming the wild!

KNY, the modern Naruto story

made from boredom and etc.

I will never be a writer. o.o

Kimi: o rly?

Yes. o.o

This is chapter 7 of KNY. The original Ch. 7 also got deleted for some unexplained reason, so this one took a bit longer than usual. XD

Item brands c. whoevermadethem. Me and Naruto equals a BIG FAT NO. o.o

Chapter dedicated to...nobody in particular. Whoever reads it. XD

Ch. summary: What happens when we have to face our old fears (Ray in particular. o.o)? Also, a normal day at the grocery store gone bad. Lee and Naruto have their waited date, yet Tenten spies to them on a date with Neji, but there's another dark force out there spying on THEM. Who is this dark force? And what are their plans?

Note: Sorry, but I had to cut out the boy band thing...x.x It just didn't come out right. FORGIVE ME. ;.;

(note to self: I'M NOT GOOD AT ADVERTISING)

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It was nighttime, and Raymond was discussing serious matters with his closest friends whom he worked with (NOT LIKE THAT). Everyone else was in his or her apartment, having a great time. The city of Konoha, New York was aglow with lights and all of that stuff that makes a city nice.

"In order to figure out who gets to kill the jinchuriki, we have to do what all strategists do. ROCK PAPER SCISSORS SHOOT." Raymond sarcastically suggested as if he were a rocket scientist.

However, his teammates Chiyo and Yashamaru took him for granted...yet again.

Chiyo sighed and all three of them took their turns. "Rock."

"Ray! I got rock! I got ROCK! YAY ROCK!" Yashamaru shouted, high-fiving Chiyo.

(In a world where everything is unfair...)

"Sorry, Yashamaru. Paper." Ray said.

"Damn, EVERYTHING IS SO UNFAIR!"

(sits a brown-haired former kazekage with his blond haired girl-slash-boy-friend.)

"What? THAT'S ABSOLUTELY PREPOSTOROUS." Yashamaru yelled out to Raymond and Chiyo, slamming his fists on the table as if saying 'OBJECTION'

"Agreed." Raymond stated. "I NO longer have any relationship to that gentleman over there whatsoev-"

"I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL. THERE'S NO WAY PAPER CAN BEAT ROCK."

(overruled)

"...huh?" Raymond stared dumbfounded at Yashamaru, who was now holding both a rock and a twinkie.

(and they appear to be having relationship problems. (hint hint, wink wink, nudge, dotdotd-)

"Uhhhh..."

"Are you suggesting that paper is supposed to magically wrap itself around the rock? Why the hell can't it do that to scissors?" Yashamaru asked Chiyo for advice.

"Yashamaru, may I ask what you are talking ab-"

Chiyo interrupted. "Hmm, maybe it's because scissors will cut paper."

"BUT ROCK CAN TEAR PAPER IN ABOUT TWO SECONDS. You don't see paper magically wrapping itself around me and killing me on the spot when I'm drawing pictures of twinkies!"

Raymond was still looking at the two people arguing as if he had no idea what they were talking about. He took out a sheet of paper and began filling out a form to apply to the Akatsuki org.

Name: Raymond Place of Birth: Konoha, New York Age: 40

Social Status: SINGLE-

/whack/

"OWWWWW!" Raymond touched his forehead lightly, then examined the blood on his fingers. He looked on the floor to see what hit him, and it turns out it was a rock.

Yashamaru smirked. "Oh shit. I'm SO sorry, Ray. I could have sworn that PIECE OF PAPER WOULD PROTECT YOU."

"Grrr." With that, Ray got up and began moving towards the blond Twinkie-lover.

Chiyo sighed then went to super-saiyan mode and swung back her lantern. "MOVE BACK YOU SON OF A B-"

WOAH.

Wait a MINUTE.

We need to go to a flashback.

For those of you that were too LAZY to read ch. 1-6, I gotta fill you in on what happened.

----

Raymond and his friends were sent to capture Gaara for Marcus (the AL) of the Akatsuki for world domination stuff.

Orochimaru had revived them and they all got about a year to live, then BACK TO THE GRAVE.

Raymond's party consists of

Name: Yashamaru Age: 40 Place of Birth: Arizona

Birthday: May 23rd Social Status: Married, has a few fangirls/boys

and

Name: Chiyo Age: 86 Place of Birth: Arizona

Birthday: July 26th Social Status: Married, was previously married

So now Gaara is locked in a jail in Marcus's office and Raymond had just earned them ponderings for joining the Akatsuki.

A bit more on their personalities.

Raymond. Forty-year-old Kazekage virgin (actually. He's not a virgin; he has kids and a wife. BUT, he hasn't had sex for SO LONG, Chiyo and Yashamaru consider him a virgin, a fact that really pisses Ray off but he gets used to it...XP) brown funky hair.

Ray is the kind of person who takes matters seriously and prefers being the leader and directing people on their tasks (AKA, the 'bitcher') and this is what got him to be Kazekage, but he was killed (by Oro. o.o) His name means 'Worthy Protector' (that has GOT to be the MOST contradicting name I had EVER given somebody. XD) and he's strong, the kind of person that will most likely succeed (he did succeed. He ruled a COUNTRY. o//o tough he died. Gaara was second in line, but that's to come sometime in Chapter Eight...yes, I'm spoiling it for you. oh. em. gee. XP)

Yashamaru. Forty-year-old Arazonian Magazine model (the kind of magazine you'd give anything to buy...esp. if you're a guy...or a girl. w/e) he has long blonde hair, up to his ass now, and most people confuse him for a girl (and he doesn't really care)

Happy most of the time, he's hyper and will push everyone to doing whatever pleases them (AKA, the 'annoying-ass prep') and this is what got him to be a magazine model, that, and the people who hired him can make money easily. Addicted to a certain snack cake (Hmm. Ho-hos? Lemon Meringue Pies? Dunkin Donuts? OOH! ZEBRA CAK-) name means female demon (well...they got the 'demon' part down) and he's known to dislike only ONE person in his life, it being Gaara. (If I HAVE to go through that whole Karura-Yasha thing, tough because I won't) the kind of person who would be elected 'most likely to become a man-whore' (And he is! o.o) Known to attact the elderly (Chiyo, Jiraiya)

Chiyo. 87-year-old priestess (THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU O) slash Yashamaru's wife (sorry Jiraiya), she doesn't get violent often. Has long gray hair (up to her chest. CHEST) which she wears in a bun, her brother is Ebizou.

She defends her husband a lot, and she likes getting drunk with him (like Sex on the Beach, except without the beach) and carries an old lantern. Name means Thousand Years (bullseye) and doesn't like Ray in particular (I'm also surprised she lived for so long...) She's more of a quiet, self sufficient type who won't bother you unless she gets mad (AKA, Silent but Deadly) in which she will then hit you with a lantern.

So, that's Team Ray. Although, they WILL have a new addition later on (I wonder who. o.o)

----

We now return to the THRILLING conclusion of...Madara's Modern Naruto Story!

...Or Konoha New York!

...or whatever-else-you-like-to-call it

"-ITCH." Chiyo spat out as she knocked Raymond's knee with her lanturn, causing the brown-haired male to ightly clasp his hands on his kneecap in pain.

"Chiyoooo." Raymond moaned, then his voice turned to the creepy, expressionless tone that it usually had. "Let's go get some bedrest and continue this tommorrow."

"No, YOU'RE JUST IN A CORNER." Yashamaru grinned evilly while cracking his knuckles, then biting into a twinkie.

Raymond heaved a long sigh. "Yashamaru-"

"YOU'RE IN A DAMN CORNER. Watch. Chiyo. Do you think rock should beat paper?"

"Damn straight." Chiyo snickered as she gave Yashamaru a thumbs up.

Yashamaru picked up his twinkie. "Mr. Twinkiekins, do you think rock should beat paper?"

He then held the snack cake up to his ear, then whispered something back to it. Raymond blinked a lot when Yashamaru pointed at him. "SEE! TWO-OH!"

"Yashamaru-"

"I'm gonna call my friends!"

"Idiots." Raymond said to himself as he walked out of the room, Yashamaru rapidly dialing numbers.

/the next day/

"We already set the deal with Marcus. After we deliver him the jinchuriki, we are in the Akatsuki."

It was a chilly day in Raymond's apartment where he invited his friends Chiyo and Yashamaru. Along with them, he also invited Ebizou, Chiyo's brother, and Sasori, their grandson. Sasori and the elderly were seated in chairs drinking refreshments, when Chiyo got up and began arguing with the former Kazekage on what to do with Gaara.

"Sasori. You know how Rock can beat Scissors and Scissors can beat Paper, right?" Yashamaru nudged Sasori for an answer, Raymond with a look in his eye that says 'I-can't-believe-he's-still-at-this'

"Yeah..."

"Well, SHOULDN'T ROCK ALSO BEAT PAPER?"

Sasori shrugged. "I guess."

"WHAT DID I SAY!!" Yashamaru cheered and waved a twinkie in the air.

"Yashamaru, can you shut your ass up and get back to the main issue here, it being GAARA?" Ray slammed his hand on the wall and changed the subject.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I kissed my grandson and loved him to death as if he were my own, right my little Sasoriwuggles?" Chiyo cooed at Sasori, who blushed in embarrasment and gave her a death glare as everyone else but Raymond laughed.

"Grrr. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS." Raymond rolled his sleeves up as he do before he fights. His muscles bulged and he clenched his fists at the old lady. "En gaurde."

"You're on bitch!" Chiyo smirked as she took off her old lady dress to reveal a skin-tight black catsuit/fighting outfit. Sasori and Ebizou spat out and choked on their Sprite, revolted by the sight.

Yashamaru stepped in between the two. "Oh my god THIS IS SO DAMN SEXY! Can we make it so you guys wrestle in an arena made of t-"

"Shut up." Raymond cut off the blonde. "As I was saying, Sasori. Gaara is being taken to the hands of Sir Marcus, so then we'll be in?"

"I guess so." Sasori shook hands with Marcus and left.

---------------------------------------------

/the next day/

Raymond and his team stepped off the elevator after it took them to the top floor of the Akatsuki org. building. They made their way to Marcus's office where they were greeted by Deidara.

"Marcus? There are some visitors here-"

"SEND THEM IN! SEND THEM IN!" Marcus raised his voice from his office, where there appeared to be a racket going on. Deidara shrugged and let Raymond's team in the room and closed the door behind them.

Inside, Marcus was staring admiredly at his 'plan' with his arms crossed. His 'plan' consisted of a large white laundry basket. Underneath the basket was a scowling, angry Gaara laying down on his stomach with his arms and legs crossed. On top of the basket was an unwrapped twinkie, and there were more twinkies in a neat row surrounding the basket.

"S-sir Marcus, what did you do?" Chiyo asked, trying not to laugh. Yashamaru was hopping up and down at the sight at his favorite snacks. Raymond rolled his eyes up to the cieling...Chiyo and Yashamaru looked up there, too, but they didn't see anything.

"Oh, simple. Just a way to get our jinchuriki friend out of trouble." Marcus explained to the team.

Chiyo then put on a straight face. "Can't he just lift up the basket?"

"Ha! Exactly! Gaara wouldn't DARE touch any item contanimated with the electrons and crumbs of a twinkie!" The Akatsuki leader let out a maniacal laugh.

"TWINKIES!"

"YASHAMARU! NO!" Marcus tried to stop the idiotic Yashamaru from picking up the twinkie. After he ate it, in the blink of an eye, he ran to the cabinet and removed another twinkie from the box, unwrapped it, and set it carefully on top of the backet once more.

"Moron." Raymond slapped Yashamaru on the shoulder, who whined in pain and ate another twinkie.

"Don't eat any of the plan. Now. All we got to do is figure out a way to get the demon to the statue so it could be removed and Gaara would die." Marcus stated.

Yashamaru peered in one of the laundry basket holes. "Awwwww." He stuck his finger in it and wiggled it, complementing Gaara on his 'cuteness' "But you don't deserve to die don't you you sweet little itty-bitty-"

/crunch/

"OWWWW!" Yashamaru stepped back away from the basket clutching his now-bleeding finger. He pointed to the basket with his foot, where Gaara was now smirking in satisfaction. "RAY! HE BIT ME!"

"Are you stupid or something?" Raymond asked the blonde twinkie-lover. "Watch." Raymond cleared the area of twinkies and removed the laundry basket, setting Gaara free. Ray then took out a squeaky-hot-dog0dog-toy-thingy and began squeaking it.

"Now, Gaara. I have let you out. In return, you must do exactly as we say-"

Gaara pounced on Ray and then, at that moment, tried to bite his arm off. Marcus, Chiyo, and Yashamaru gasped as they watched the scene in horror.

"HELP ME HERE! AHHH!" Raymond used his free arm to punch Gaara's head, but he just bit harder.

Gaara growled as he used one of his hands to slap Ray. "I'M NOT A DAMN ANIMAL."

"LIKE HELL YOU AREN'T!" The former kazekage set his foot on Gaara's stomach, then with a backwards-somersault type of roll, he threw Gaara off of him and sent him crashing against the wall.

"Grr."

"Oh shit." The three people who were not participating in the fight said at the same time, noticing Gaara's anger.

"CALL THE ZOO!" Raymond exclaimed to them, now trying to dodge Gaara's animal-like moves.

Chiyo just stood there in amazement. It was like crocodile hunter!

"I'LL DO IT!" Marcus dashed out of the room to the nearest phone. Raymond was now bleeding in various places, blood spewing all over Marcus's floor.

Yashamaru took out a twinkie, apologized to the gods, and threw it in Ray's direction. Gaara hissed and quickly receded a long distance from it.

Meanwhile Marcus called the zoo. "Hello, Konoha Central Park Zoo, we have a problem with a crocodile."

"Sure! Bring the croc over and, uh, we'll schedule the training session!"

Marcus hung up and took out a tranquilizing shot, where he ran back into his office and rammed the needle into one of the jinchuriki's veins, later causing Gaara to limp to the ground.

Marcus huffed and puffed in exhaustion. "WE DID IT!"

Yashamaru and Chiyo began dancing and singing. "We did it! We did it! We did it! Hurray! Los hicimos! We did it!"

Raymond watched in embarrassment as Yashamaru and Chiyo were dancing to the Dora the Explorer song. He leaned toward Marcus. "Uh...that's their eager dance."

-----------------------------------

"PSSSSST, HINATA AND SHINO."

Hinata and Shino sighed, for this was getting old. They were at publix at the produce section where Kiba was hiding behind some crates...Kurenai ditched them a while earlier.

"Come here. I always wanted to do this."

Hinata, having no other choice, followed Kiba to a crateful of apples. The bug lover followed as well, whispering to some of his bugs that there was nothing to be afraid of, and no matter what happens, their daddy loves them very much-

(cough) Erhm...

Kiba looked to see if anybody was watching, then took out an apple and a blindfold. "Okay. You know how in those shows when the people are practicing archery and there's somebody that stands with an apple on their head and the archer always hits it perfectly?"

"Well, I want to try it. Hinata, you be the person witht he apple on her head."

"N-NO KIBA!" Hinata covered her head and face, for fear that it will soon have an arrow shot in it.

"Yeah Kiba don't."

"COME ON." Kiba whined and moved his arms up and down, sort of like a whining chibi version of him. "Think of how Naruto will like you for being brave."

Hinata, who was always affected by this type of propaganda, slowly nodded in fear.

"Great. Let me practice first." Kiba chose an apple and set it atop of a crate. He set up his archery set and pulled the bow back and-

/whoosh/

The arrow hit the apple perfectly.

Shino and Hinata applauded, while Kiba took a few bows. "Thank you, thank you."

"Now I will try to hit another apple in the exact same spot." He said, and set up another apple on top of the same box.

Hinata watched Kiba set up his archery set once more. Kiba can do anything, she thought. He is brave and fearless and does anything to get his way...Kiba is the kind of person who I feel safe with-

/whoosh/

The arrow hit the box about a foot below of where it originally hit. Hinata froze in horror, thankful that it was not her, yet fearful that it WILL be her in a few minutes.

"Come on, Hinata." Kiba grabbed Hinata's hand and stood her in the middle of the apple aisle. He handed her a blindfold and an apple. "Set the apple on your head."

The Hyuga girl, trembling, set the red apple atop of her head while shaking violently.

Kiba took out a gun. "Now. Put your blindfold on."

"KIBA INUZUKA!" Hinata and Shino screamed. Hinata finished what she had to say. "YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME! I DON'T WANNA DIE!"

"Shhhh. Hinata. You don't see people walking down New York with arrows. Now stay calm and put the blindfold on. If it makes you feel better, I never used a gun before."

Hinata sobbed and put the blindfold, covering her light-purple eyes. Shino stood close to Hinata, getting ready to take the bullet for her if Kiba did not shoot right.

(awwww)

/shot/

"AAAAAAH!" Hinata and Shino screamed. Hinata, realizing she was still alive, slowly yet cautiously removed her blindfold and saw Kiba cheering.

"YAY! THAT WAS AWESOME!"

"I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!" Hinata half-yelled, half-cried out.

"Ah, but you weren't." Kiba nooded towards the apple on the floor, which had exploded and was now oozing out applesauce.

"I swear. One day, Kiba, you will go to jail for stealing, hotwiring, attempt of murder, breaking into school-" Shino counted off the crimes that Kiba has recently commited when Kurenai walked with a cart ful of food towards them, she was on their cell phone.

"hold on Kakashi-Hinata, Shino, Kiba? Did you get the apples?" Kurenai asked.

"Don't EVER say the word 'apple' AGAIN." Hinata spat at Kurenai.

"Apples and apple pie with apple soda and applesauce, mixed with a slight dash of cinnamon and sugar, eat it with an apple strudle and it makes an applerific applelicious part of an appley balanced breakfast. " Kiba said in monotone, then cracked up with Shino and Kurenai.

Hinata had that look in her eye. "NOT funny."

They left the fruit aisle and progresses to the freezer aisle. Kurenai then returned to her phone call. "Alright, Kakashi. THIS DECISION can affect your like tragically. Now. Haagen-Dahz or Ben&Jerry's?"

--------------------------------------

"May I call your attention please?"

"What?" Gina, Zabuza, and Kashike stopped talking and turned to two people at the front of the room. They were anonymously called upon by an anonymous called to enter the anonymous room of...ANONYMOUSNESS. It turned out to be a living room of an apartment belonging to a certain Neji fangirl...

"The meeting of NEJI will commence at this minute." Ayame said. She brought out a dry-erase marker board where the word NEJI was written.

"NEJI?"

"Neji-ten Extermination Justice Incorperated." She said, pointing to each letter as she said the word it stands for.

"Ohhhh." Gina, Zabuza, and Kashike explained.

"Now. For the rest of the meeting, you will refer to me as Ayame-sensei, and Teuchi as That-Guy-Over-There. Okay?"

"Yes Ayame-sensei." the three said boredly as if adressing a teacher.

"Now." Ayame rolled a film-screen and her laptop into the living room, where she pulled down the screen and opened up Microsoft Powerpoint. "If I can have your attention for the time being."

She started the powerpoint. The words NEJI-Nejiten Extermination Justice Incorporated appeared as the title for the first slide, and a picture of Neji was the picture. Ayame clicked her laptop mouse, and the second slide commenced.

YOU-KNOW-WHO AND HER EVIL WAYS

1. (A picture of Tenten giving a daisy to Neji)

"Now." Ayame began to present. "Over here, is a picture of She-who-shall-not-be-named giving a DAISY to MY dear sweet Neji-kun. This proves that...

Tenten is a succubus."

/silence/

Zabuza broke the silence. "...what?"

"A succubus. A vile creature that sucks the life out of all men. One date from her and the man will fall irresistable to her charm, then she will kiss him and suck his blood out. Not unlike..." Ayame clicked her mouse again, this time, a picture of a vampire showing up. "vampires!"

"Dude. Succubi are like vampires. Which means that they can't have their picture taken." Gina reminded her friend.

Ayame raised an eyebrow. "Point being...?"

"SHE'S NOT A SUCCUBUS!"

"JUST BECAUSE DUCKBUTT IS BEING HYPNOTIZED BY A SUCCUBUS DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT OUT ON MY DEAR-SWEET NEJI-KUN." Ayame informed her friend.

"Hmph." Gina pouted and sat back in her chair. "ONE DAY. SASUKE" she stressed out the syllables of Sasuke's name. "will be welcomed into MY life...and ESCAPE the clutches of the succubus in his team."

Zabuza and Kashike looked at each other and shrugged.

"Now. Moving on." Ayame nodded towards the picture. "I heard somewhere that in Czech Slovakia, the daisy in considered the flower of DEATH."

"dotdotdot." Teuchi, Zabuza, Kashike, and Gina said it at the same time, then all laughed. Their laughter was cut short when they noticed Ayame's death look on her face.

"Erm...what were you saying, oh-wise-Ayame-sensei?" Gina spoke for the group.

"NEJI WILL NOT DIE. He is immortal." Ayame said is as if it were a fact, then continued with the next slide of her powerpoint.

WHY WE MUST DO ALL TO SAVE THE LIFE OF A LOVED ONE (Neji)

1. Because Neji is hot

2. Because nobody deserves to die in the hands of a succubus, except if it's Sasuke

"Grrr." Gina glared at Ayame, who turned around and started coughing our laughter. She turned back around with a straight face and clicked the mouse again.

3. Because without him it's hard to survive

"You just met him a week ago, Ayame, and DIDN'T TALK TO HIM SINCE." Gina yelled out from the audience.

"Gina-channn." Ayame started. "Yeah but if he DOES die, then it technically WOULD be hard to survive because I never got a date with him."

"MOVING ON. Neji and Tenten are going to be at an Olive Garden restaurant, which is why we must go to...the secret plan!"

"Let us in on it." Zabuza asked.

Ayame smiled and whispered out her plan.

/a few seconds later/

"Awesome." Zabubza said, agreement from Kashike and Teuchi.

"Gina?"

"Meh." Gina said.

"Great. So, let's get started, shall we?"

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Marcus slowed down his car and parked it at the parking space. He got out of the SUV and slammed the door behind him. He slipped on his shades and walked to the trunk, where he met up with Chiyo, Raymond, and Yashamaru.

"Alright Yashamaru. Get the jinchuriki out of the trunk."

Yashamaru froze, a look of horror on his face. "Uh...yeah...was I supposed to get him?"

"YES YOU WERE!" Marcus yelled arrogantly and then sighed, motioning everyone back into the car.

/later/

"Alright Yashamaru. Get the jinchuriki out of the trunk."

Yashamaru froze again. "Um..."

Marcus closed his eyes. "Lord. Why did I hire these people?" He sighed a deep sigh, then motioned everyone back into the car once more.

/later/

Marcus opened the trunk and dragged the unconsious Gaara out of the trunk himself. (o.o)

The four then progressed to the Konoha Zoo Crocodile center, where they went inside a little hunt which was supposedly the crocodile tamer's office.

Ray looked around for the lady who was supposedly the one Marcus had called. "I don't see anyo-"

"Well, it's about time you guys showed up."

"K-KARURA." Raymond's goosebumps covered his skin as he slowly turned in fear. Leaning against the doorhenge was a long-brown-haired woman with a pink ribbon in her hair and weraing a safari outfit. (like crocodile hunter) a whip hanging off her belt. Her smile turned into a frown.

"Where's the crocodile."

"Mmmmn." Waking up from his sleep, Gaara's eyes slowly opened and saw Marcus's face. His eyes turned into a look that meant death.

"HERE!" Marcus hurriedly thrust the jinchuriki into Karura's arms. A confused look spread upon her face as she accepted the offer.

"Uhh." Karura help Gaara stand, then took a while to scan him when a look of faux forgotness rose upon her face. "Who is he?"

"You know him!" Marcus has the ability to sniff out lies.

"Damn yes." Karura said to her brother, husband, the AL and the old lady. "They called because you went psycho." she patted Gaara on the head. "Too bad they don't know how psycho you can be!"

Karura and Gaara laughed evilly, scaring the Akatsuki. After a five minute evil laughter, Karura's eyes turned to Ray. "Hey!"

"Oh damn." Raymond almost peed himself, but caught himself just in time. He crossed his arms and put a look on his face in some sort of a bad-boy pose. "Hey there-"

"NOT YOU." Karura shoved Raymond out of the way and approached Yashamaru.

Yashamaru waved hi. "HI KARU-"

Karura's sweet smile turned into a demonic aura of hate. "Yasha-maru!"

"HELP ME RAY!" Yashamaru hid behind Ray as the shadow of the crocodile hunter loomed across the two frightened males.

What happens next is to nasty to explain...kind of.

Marcus and Chiyo ran out of the hut, followed by Yashamaru and Raymond covered in whip wounds and black eyes and broken bones. They ran out to the SUV and hopped in, driving away from that crazy woman.

"The way SHE acted, it was as if SHE were the one-tail." Ray let out a breath and flinched from the pain of his wounds.

"She stepped on all of my twinkies." Yashamaru whined. "Ray...I just want you to know...I didn't cry. I...didn't...CRYYYYY." Yashamaru sobbed onto Ray's shirtfront, this time Ray paid no mind.

"It's like the one-tail left a horcrux in her." Marcus muttered. "Speaking of which, Yashamaru. You DID remember to take the one-tail out BEFORE we took Gaara to her, right?"

"..."

"...oh HELL no."

------------------------------------------

Lee's bushy eyebrows twiched as he walked into Olive Garden with Naruto, both dressed in tuxedos. Sasuke was well behind, smirking and checking to see that Lee doesn't ditch him.

Behind HIM was Neji and Tenten, dressed up and ready for their date.

"Welcome to Olive Garden, let me lead you to your seats and start you off with lettuce, breadsticks and water." The waiters escorted each of them to their table, which, ironically, was right next to the other's.

Lee and Naruto sat at a table, Lee feeling very awkward. It WAS, after all, his frist date (wait 'till Sasuke tells his class)

"I LIKE RAMEN!"

"I like curry and spicy curry sauce." Lee said, finally glad to have a subject they can talk about.

"So...HOW SPICY CAN YOU HANDLE IT?" Naruto yelled loudly at Lee as if he was deaf...he tends to do that a lot.

"Spicier than you." Lee held his arm out as if doing a 'bring it on' pose.

"Who wants to bet?" Naruto adjusted his headband and smirked.

"Only if you accept."

/meanwhile, at Neji's table/

"Destiny brought those two losers together." Neji made a snide comment and bit into a breadstick.

"Neji. I can understand Naruto, but don't talk about poor Lee like that." Tenten drank a sip of water. "So...uh...what's your favorite band?"

"Panic at the Disco." Neji answered, feeling bored.

"I like Avril Lavigne..." Tenten said. "Oh Neji. Did you notice my dress?" Tenten got up and twirled around to let Neji see her light-pink dress.

"Oh. Well, good thing it isn't shorter than it already is." Neji said, blushing a little but his frown still etched on his face. (Neji is NOT hitting on her...he doesn't hit on anybody)

/meanwhile/

"And m'am, how many are in your party?"

"Four." Ayame, who was the 'mother' wearing a red gown complete with purse and lipstick, was standing next to Zabuza, who was playing the 'father' wearing a suit and a fake brown mustache. Gina and Kashike were the 'daughters'.

"Very well."

They were led to a table, where the four sat down and opened their menus. In the background, there were cheerings of 'GO! GO! GO!'. Naruto and Lee were seated at their table drinking loads of spicy curry sauce, some other members of the nine rookies and a waiter & waitresses surrounding them, watching. They cheeres as Lee was first to set down his glass.

"YES!!" Lee gave his sensei a smile of TRUTH, complete with spaklies of YOUTH. Gai gave him a smile back and winked. "THAT'S MY STUDENT!"

"I can resist ANYTHING that's hot!"

"Except Naruto himself." Sasuke's voice was heard by Lee as the other people did that 'oohhhhhh' thing.

"Sasuke!" Naruto hugged him and Sasuke shoved him aside, then brought a chair over to Lee and Naruto's table.

/at Ayame's table/

"OH GOD." Ayame shut her eyes while Tenten was twirling around in front of Neji. She gave Gina a nudge.

"OW."

Kashike was licking the salt off of her breadstick (that souned SO wrong. o///o) while Zabuza was eating a bit of salad.

"Look! She's doing the Infatuation Dance!"

"What?" Zabuza tried to get a better look. Gina and Kashike regarded Ayame as if she was nuts.

"See! The succubus dances around the man like in those african tribe thingies, and the man becomes hypnotized and is forced to love her against her will!"

"Impossible." Zabuza, Gina, and Kashike said at the same time, doing a triple jinx.

With force, Ayame turned all of their heads towards Neji, who was now blushing. "Oh really?"

"...oh my god."

"Yes. AND AS MEMBERS OF NEJI, we must do what we can to stop her." Ayame yelled, pointing to nowhere in particular.

"No, her dress IS short." Kashike said.

"Yeah, even the most troubled man will blush." Gina concluded the fact from Tenten.

"You GUYS are supposed to be HELPING." Ayame growled at her fellow NEJI members. She grabbed some peanuts and threw them at Tenten, who stopped dancing and looked around ferociously yelling 'who threw that?'

"Zabuza. Now." Ayame hissed in Zabuza's ear.

Zabuza stood up and walked toward Tenten and Neji, who was no longer blushing. "Hello there, I'm Zabuza."

"Hi there." Tenten said to Zabuza, turning her back on Neji.

Ayame, Gina, and Kashike bagged Neji and dragged him away from the restaurant.

"Uh...bye." Zabuza ran away and left Tenten confused.

"Woah...that was wierd, right Ne-" she turned around and notices Neji was gone. "NEJI?"

/back at Naruto's table/

"HEY SASK-GAY!" Naruto shouted while eating some pasta, ramen's close cousin.

"DON'T TALK WITH YOUR DAMN MOUTH FULL." Sasuke hissed at Naruto to mind his table manners. Naruto showed Sasuke his impression of 'seafood', which is chewed up pasta and meataballs on his tough. "Nyah!"

"NARUTO!"

Lee was just watching the two argue.

"KNOCK KNOCK!" Naruto shouted loudly, so the whole restaurant can hear him.

Sasuke twitched in anger. "Who's...there..."

Naruto snorted. "I AM!!!!" He laughed and slammed his fist on the table repeatedly as everyone else stared as if something was wrong with him.

Sasuke took a deep breath. "Hey. NARUTO. Knock knock."

"WHO'S THERE?"

Sasuke sarcastically snorted. "I am!"

Naruto, remembering his lonly past and since Sasuke was like his only friend, implied on being included. "Sask-gay! I WANNA BE THERE TOO!"

Lee was howling with laughter and pointing at Naruto.

"Naruto...you can't be there because you're the one ANSWERING THE DOOR!"

"Mr. Orochimaru can answer the door." Naruto smiled evilly and gave Sasuke a bag of fun-size Skittles (TASTE THE RAINBOW). Sasuke slammed his hand on the table and grabbed Naruto's collar. "Shut. Up."

Meanwhile Ayame and co. had brought Neji into her apartment where he was bagged up and tied against his will.

Ayame sighed. "It was for your own good, Neji-kun."

"Well, why did you have to be following us EVERYWHERE?" Neji glared daggers at the group as they removed their disguises. "If it's about the cheesecake, it was Lee who stuck it in there, not me!"

"What? EEEEW!" Kashike and Zabuza exclaimed. Gina let out a sigh of relief that she didn't eat a slice.

"No wonder rhere was a hair in mine-"

"KASHIKE. SHUT UP!" Ayame cut her off.

"Don't tell me to shut up! Dad! Make her tell me not to shut up!"

Zabuza tapped Ayame's shoulder. "Ayame, Kashike said-"

"Can we do the same thing with Sasuke, Ayame-sensei?" Gina tugged on Ayame's sleeve."Like, bag him and steal him away from Sakura?

"Guys. Please. Gina, if you want, you can get Sasuke to join our club." Ayame flashed a picture she drew of Sasuke being bagged and tied while Gina was cackling with a whip.

Neji stared at the picture. "I should be in your club one day."

"Ahh!" Ayame's eyes flashed. "But there is a CERTAIN dress code for you."

"Really? What is it?"

Ayame began counting her fingers. "Wet, shirtless-"

"Can we please get on with this?" Kashike shouted, snapping Ayame back to the real reason they were there.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Baki-sensei?" Temari knocked on Baki's bedroom door expectant for an answer. She found a note instead.

Dear Temari

Went off to Kakashi's for a wild ride.

Love Baki (heart)

"KANKURO." Temari knocked on Kankuro's bedroom door.

"HOLD ON TEMARI! JUST A SECOND!" Kankuro sounded as if he were being rushed from the other side. Temari, having faced this before, barged in to catch Kankuro in the act.

"TEMARI! IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!"

Kankuro was on the floor now, a jump rope in hand. "You made me triiiiip."

"Kankuro. We gotta find Gaara NOW." Temari dragged Kankuro on his feet and led him out of his room.

Kankuro slapped Temari's hand away. "I'm going to Kiba's to watch Olive the Other Reindeer."

"WATCH IT ANOTHER TIME!"

"NO! It's so cute how near the end, the puppy flies using envelopes! We were supposed to try that with Akamaru today!"

"Akamaru will die." Temari stated simply. She pulled Kankuro out of the room and outside.

"Why me? Why can't Baki-sensei help you look?"

"This." Temari thrust the letter at Kankuro, who scanned it. a look of relief spread upon his face. "OH THANK GOD!!!"

Temari, with a shocked face, stared at Kankuro who sighed in relief. "What?"

"They're only going on a trip!" Kankuro smiled. "I thought for sure they were doing something else!"

/smack/

"HE'S NOT DOING THAT, KANKURO! HE MEANS SOMETHING ELSE!" Temari yelled at Kankuro as she smacked him once more.

Kankuro suddenly stopped. "WAIT! TEMARI!"

Temari skidded to a halt. "What?"

"Wellllll." Kankuro put his arm around Temari, and lai his head against her shoulder. "I was thinking, that the two of us shoooouuuuullllddd-"

"KANKURO." Temari growled in a way that's only made for enemies.

"I was just about to say that we go and see dad to see if we can find him!" Kankuro said, nodding his head as if getting a good idea.

Once they reached outside, Temari and Kankuro hopped on Temari's fan and flew in search for Gaara.

--------------------------

End of Ch. 7. Heh. Sorry to end it there. And ESPECIALLY SORRY IF YOU WERE LOOKING FOR THE BOY BAND.

Next chapter features Gaara again...and a few more stuff which I have yet to think of. o.o