Disclaimer, etc: see first chapter
A/N: Thank you to Nikki, as always, for the amazing and super-fast beta. Thank you also to everyone who has left me a review, I really appreciate them. Sorry for the slight delay with this chapter, but something in my head starting screaming 'exams! Revise!', so this would put on hold
"Do you trust me, Grissom?" asked Sara.
For a moment he did not reply to her, astonished that she even had to ask.
"Of course I trust you, Sara," said Grissom in disbelief, sitting down next to her on the couch, and taking her hand, a little tentatively.
"Then why did you go to…," Sara forced herself to stop before she could say any more. They were simply going in circles. Just the same as any argument when neither side was prepared to back down, they were just repeating things over and over to no end. " Just go," she told him brokenly, and so quietly he thought that he had misheard her.
"Wh-what?" he asked her, not wanting to trust his ears.
Sara couldn't bring herself to look at him, to look into his eyes and see the pain and hurt that she knew that she would see there as she repeated her words. "Just go, please," she added on the end, in a pleading half-whisper. "I need some time to think, to figure out what I want,"
Grissom didn't reply. He simply let go of her hand and stood up, distancing himself from her, walking away. For a moment when he reached the door, he looked back and opened his mouth to say something, anything, to break the awful silence, but. But he saw the tension in her slim frame as she sat there, how close she was to breaking down and how uncomfortable she was with him being there, in her house, in her home. So he left her there alone without a word.
After he was gone, Sara felt absolutely nothing. Without really noticing, she was aware of the tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. Not bothering to halt their progress, she just sat there, her brain attempting to process what had happened and how to deal with it. Normally, when she was upset, she would retreat into her home, into her private space, sheltered and protected until she was strong again.
However, she was already here and it was in her home that she was hurt, as she had been so often in the past. Restless, she rose from her seat and went to the window, where in the distance she could see the lights of the Strip and the Stratosphere Tower. Down below, in the car park, she saw a familiar Mercedes pulling out of a parking space and driving away.
Oh, God, what have I done? she asked herself. Had she just pushed him away? No, no, she hadn't,- couldn't have. She loved him, so much. So much it hurt sometimes, even when he was there with her.
Grissom hadn't driven around Vegas aimlessly in a long time. Not, in fact, since the night of Nick's abduction and he had finally told Sara how he felt about her. This time, though, was different. Usually what he would do was drive from his townhouse around Vegas, and then somehow end up outside her apartment building, staring at it, too afraid to go upstairs and talk to her. Now, he was driving away from her, and back into the life he had led before. Or at least, that was what he felt.
In Grissom's head 'I need some time to think, to figure what I want,' only had one meaning, and it wasn't good. She was shutting him out, just as he had done to her for so many years, whenever she had tried to become close to him. He had no idea that it would hurt this much.
This couldn't be happening, he told himself. No way. Things had been going so well with Sara,- better than he could have hoped. He had assumed she would understand why he had gone to Williams. Not to hurt her;- the very opposite! Since he had started seeing Sara, somehow every case hurt him. Every person became someone who was loved or cared for, like he cared for Sara and he kept thinking about how he would feel if it was herSara on the autopsy table. It had been driving him mad.
No. A small voice inside his head interrupted his reverie of despair. It was the part of him that had, just that one time, carried his feet up the stairs to her apartment eighteen months ago. Grissom was not going to give up that easily. He couldn't. Losing Sara after having her had been his greatest fear. Now, he was not prepared to let her go.
Abruptly, Grissom turned the car in a sharp U-turn that earned him a resounding blast on the horn from the car behind. Barely even registering it, Grissom backtracked until he was once more sitting in the car park outside her flat, trying to find the courage to go in.
A/N2: This chapter is slightly different because part of it is told from Grissom's POV. Hope you like it and please leave a review to tell me what you think.