A/N; Sorry for the long wait, I had damn college work to catch up on. Damn school. Damn College. Thanks for the reviews by the way!
She felt the invasion, skin upon skin, roughness upon softness. She closed her eyes, willing it to be over. She was only six years old, yet she was being invaded in places six year olds shouldn't. She may be young, but she realised the full force, the destructiveness of this act. She wanted to cry, scream, and shout. But she was silenced.
Lana woke up in a cold sweat in a bed, having relived the nightmare that haunted her sleep since that night. She stared up at the ceiling, trying to place where she was.
"Hey..Are you alright now?" Addison asked, concerned. Lana mutely nodded, as she tried to repress her tears, which stubbornly rolled down her face.
"Hey.." Addison scooted closer, wiping Lana's tears away with the edge of her lab coat. Addison soothed her as she broke down completely, giving in to her emotions that had been locked up for so many years.
"I should have stopped him..I couldn't..He kept on..he..in the street..he.. I couldn't stop him.." Lana cried, gasping for breath between each word she tried to say. Addison rubbed her back, holding her close. Lana's tears eventually subsided, and she lay back into the pillow, only to sit back up in confusion.
"What happened…where am I??" Lana began to panic a little, not being able to remember the events that occurred the day before.
"You fainted..so we brought you in the on call room." Addison replied, remembering too clearly the moment she almost remembered her and Derek. Lana looked up at her, silently probing her for any clues as to who she might be.
She felt she was being torn away from the person she loved most…
Lana's eyes masked with fear as she grasped Addison's hand. Derek walked in at that moment, and upon seeing Lana in distress, he hurried over as his paternal instincts switched on inside him. He rubbed Lana's back, as Addison had done before. His eyes met hers, to be met with despair.
Lana leant into Addison, refusing to cry.
"Mommy!!" A young Lana screamed, her arms stretched out, desperate to be back in her mother's arms.
Lana pulled back, distress flitting across her features.
The tall redhead stretched out her arms.. Young Lana couldn't see her face, her own tears clouding her vision.
Lana furiously wiped her eyes with her sleeve, clearing her vision. She looked back at Addison and Derek.
"Don't you have patients to attend to?" Lana asked, her tough exterior emerging above her vulnerability, wanting to ignore what her heart was telling her. As if on cue, Addison's pager beeped. She quickly dismissed it, paging Izzie instead. Lana looked on, disbelieving.
"Okay, why are you constantly watching over me? I mean, its not like you're my.." Lana trailed off, remembering her father still in surgery. Lana bolted out of the room, leaving Addison and Derek in her wake.
"Okay.." Derek sighed, sitting back down on the bunk bed. Addison sunk down, her head in her hands. "Why doesn't she remember us?" Addison cried out, the frustration bubbling to the surface.
"Maybe..she blocked it out. I read that people who had traumatic things happen to them, block out the memories." Derek offered, "But..I think because of what happened..she blocked out the years she had with us. Her parents."
Addison leant her head back on the wall, mulling over Derek's prognosis. "Makes sense." She muttered, fiddling with her hands. "I just..I want her back, Derek." Addison subconsciously leant into Derek, who in turn wrapped his arms around her, like he had done so many times in the previous years.
"Me too Addi..Me too.." Addison smiled at Derek's use of her nickname. She relished in the sensation of being around Derek, the sensation of his arms around her. She closed her eyes, enjoying the moment while it lasted.
Lana stopped by her mother's now empty room. It was empty, her mother long gone. She stepped in, running her hand along the made bed. She sat on the side, staring at the space that her mother had once occupied. She wanted to cry, scream and shout, but she didn't want to be in that vulnerable state again. She stared blankly at the pillows, not noticing Alex walk in.
"When you're young… you can hide, block it out… Ignore all the screaming... Shouting… but when you get older… You feel you have to protect her… but when you can't… you don't know who to be angrier at… him… or yourself…" Lana fixed her gaze on Alex as he spoke, noticing the pain in his eyes.
"How did you cope?" Lana asked, desperately wanting to know, even if it was too late, as her mother had already succumbed to her father's beatings.
"I went to wrestling classes, and the next time he laid a hand on her, I beat him up... he left." Alex looked down, having not admitted his past to anyone, except Lana. He sat next to her on the bed. "Did he beat you?"
Lana looked up at him sharply, being reminded of the ordeal she went through. "No..not him.." She stood up, and ran out the room, leaving Alex's mind spinning.
"Miss Parker?" Lana stopped as she heard her name being called.
"Dr Burke." Lana turned, waiting for the news of her father.
"We did everything we could but…"
"Thank you, Dr Burke." Lana replied quickly, already knowing the outcome. Before she could turn to run, Lana immediately collapsed, blackness overtaking her as she shook violently, eyes rolling to the back of her head as she was consumed with memories.
"Lana, Lana!!" She heard Addison's voice in the distance, sounding oddly familiar. Lana closed her eyes, letting the violence take over her body, wanting to give up, to give in. Darkness took over, a million thoughts, a million memories sprinting through her brain. She willed herself to wake up, hearing distant voices yelling. The seize calmed down, and she opened her eyes to look into the mirrored eyes she had missed, and loved for those stolen years.
A/N; That was kind of a filler chapter, so the fact that she was abused, her mother being abused by her father, his death, why he died and her mood change will be explained in the next chapter..And the blocking out memories, that actually does happen, I read about it in my college class last week, and it made sense for Lana not to remember Addi and Derek for that reason. Plus, Claire forgot her ordeal with Ethan in Lost, and gradually got it back..that was an awesome episode..Anyway, Read and Review, tell me what you think!!
Emmy x