CHAPTER NINETEEN: the problems with presumptions
"I am so very sorry Buffy." Martha said in a scratchy voice, worn down by tears after everything had been explained. "I had no idea that Travis was capable of such a thing…had I known I would have stripped him of his powers myself." she choked up thinking about it. "I never raised him to be that way." Buffy reluctantly released the Wicca's hand, something that she had been holding onto throughout almost the whole duration and moved towards the aching woman.
"I know you didn't." Buffy said softly resting her hand on the woman's shoulder. "And I don't blame you or Carmen." She sighed not really knowing how to comfort the hurting mother before her and looked out the window to where she had already helped load Travis into the car. The boy was alive but definitely not the same man she had met this morning.
He looked sickly, frail, as if he had been feeding off the magic as his main power source for years. But then again, he probably had. Soon though, Buffy thought, he'll be off to a Coven in Europe where he will hopefully get the proper support needed to face this addiction. Because that's what it was. Or at least that's how Lucinda had described it to them as.
"But I can't help but feel to blame!" she sobbed. "I should have known…seen the signs" she wiped at her eyes. "When he started to change I just…I just…I mean I'm his mother I should have seen the signs, should have known!"
"No one is blaming you Martha." Lucinda said slowly. "He did this to himself." She took a step toward her sister offering her another tissue. "Even if you had known there is nothing you could have done. Had you of confronted him with it who knows how he would have reacted." Martha nodded accepting the Kleanex and blowing her nose.
"You're right I know. But I can't help feeling to blame." She touched Buffy's hand then looked at the group sadly as she began to stand. "I should probably go. Carmen is waiting for me."
"You know you will always be welcomed here." Lucinda said hugging her sister.
"I know, and thank you." She released her sister and looked back to Buffy. "I truly have no way to make amends for my son. But if you ever need anything Buffy, anything at all…" she grabbed her duffle from off the floor. "Don't ever hesitate to ask, it's the least I could do."
"You don't owe me anything." Buffy said softly. Martha shook her head no.
"Yes Buffy, I do." She paused taking a breath. "Despite everything that has happened tonight…I look forward to having my son back. The boy I lost years ago." She took a deep breath. "And for that I will be forever in your debt." Buffy frowned thinking about what Martha had said realizing that it was not to long before that she herself began to fall away from the one's she cared about. "I wish you luck." She whispered making her way towards the front door. Buffy turned just as the door was closing and called out.
"Martha!" the older woman paused in the doorway and turned to the approaching slayer. Buffy hesitated for a moment then continued. "There is one thing I would like you to do for me?" Martha nodded for her to go on. "One day, once Travis has been able to heal his own fractured spirit, will you tell him…tell him that I forgive him." Martha smiled sadly at the slayer.
"Thank you Buffy, but don't lie for his behalf." Martha said. "You have, out of anyone here the most right to hate my son."
"You're right." Buffy said honestly. "I do. And I haven't forgiven him, at least not yet." Tara stepped up behind the Slayer and interlaced their fingers. She glanced at Tara thankful for the support. "But one day I will, and I think that he should know that." Martha looked at Buffy in wonderment then to Tara who was smiling softly at the Slayer.
"You are wise beyond your years Buffy, I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to know you better." she said looking at Buffy in a new light. Buffy offered a glimmer of a smile.
"I wouldn't say that…it's just recently someone very important to me showed me that it's easier to move forward when you can be forgiven for the past…and I think someday he may need that." Martha watched as Tara and Buffy shared a knowing look and couldn't stop the tears beginning to well in her eyes. The love they held for each other was so blatant and spoke volumes.
"Thank you Buffy." She whispered touching the Slayer's arm. "It's going to be a long road, but one day I will tell him." She stepped back and began making her way down the pathway towards the car. She stopped then turned a small smile crossing her face, realizing that the two were going to do just fine. "You two take care of each other." She called out before entering her car. The two nodded and watched as the car drove off into the night, each silently praying that everything worked out. As the tail lights of the car faded away into nothing Buffy gently closed the door and looked down at their clasped hands.
"Tara before we get interrupted again I-" Tara smirked touching Buffy's face lightly, already seeing the depth of caring shining back at her.. Buffy flushed at the soft caress. "I…" she swallowed hard. "Well I wanted you to know that I-" she groaned smacking a hand to her face as she heard someone clearing their throat loudly behind them. "What is it now?" she whispered harshly pulling her eyes from Tara to stare at the intruder.
"Terribly sorry to interrupt your moment Buffy…" Giles's said quickly apologizing, fully aware of the two's budding relationship. He was old but he wasn't blind, he touched his glasses. Well not yet at least. "But Lucinda has requested you're presence in the Study." Tara blushed knowing full well they had just been busted while Buffy rolled her eyes.
"Can't this wait?" the Slayer asked widening her eyes at him for emphases. "We were kind of busy."
"I'm afraid not." He said seriously. "We have much to discuss, with your powers returning…this is something that will have to take precedence over your..." he took his glasses off and began cleaning them against his shirt. "Personal line of interest." Buffy raised her brow at him. 'What is it written across my face or something?'
"Fine." She grumbled releasing Tara's hand reluctantly. "Can't have five minutes to myself can I?" she mumbled, quickly making her way into the Study. Giles chuckled to himself along with Tara at Buffy's musings.
"What's wrong Buffy?" Joyce asked knowingly, as her daughter flopped down into a recliner. Buffy turned irritated eyes to a grinning Lucinda, then held up her thumb and index fingers.
"This close!" Buffy said forcefully pinching her fingers together. "I was this freaking close too..." She instantly put her hand down as Giles and Tara entered the room. Joyce tapped her daughter on the shoulder and imitated the finger motion.
"This close to what Buffy?" The slayer looked at her mother dumb struck then over to Tara who was eyeing her and her mother curiously.
"All-righty then, how about we get down to business hmmm?" Buffy said uncomfortably, trying to take the spot light off herself for a moment. Lucinda looked at Buffy teasingly then back to the group.
"Yes I suppose you're right, first things first." She motioned to Buffy. "I think is obvious at this point that the Slayer side of Buffy has been rekindled or has at least begun to mend." She took a breath. "This of course is a good sign…but the question still remains as to how it happened and if it will remain permanent."
"Buffy, we need to know when you noticed your strength returning so we can pinpoint the cause." Giles explained. Buffy glanced hesitantly at Tara then back to Giles.
"Well over the past day or so I've noticed little things like sudden jolts of power and my appetite returning." Lucinda nodded remembering the blaze in the slayer's eyes the other night and how she had begun to crack the furniture. "Then this morning when I woke up I noticed that the wound on my stomach had healed." Buffy frowned. "I hadn't really paid it any attention until later in the day when-"
"You mean to say that it's been healed all day and you told no one?" Giles asked a little frustrated that Buffy hadn't told him this before.
"Sorry, I kind of got caught up and I wanted to see what it meant on my own before I got everyone's hopes up." Buffy explained lamely. Giles tried to remain calm as he voiced his frustrations.
"Buffy this isn't the time to be keeping these types of things from us, you should have brought it to our attention immediately."
"It's not like I wasn't going to tell you." Buffy said growing annoyed with her watcher. "I just wanted to see what it meant first." Giles frowned.
"I understand that Buffy but-" he was cut off as Lucinda began to speak.
"Now isn't the time to discuss what should or shouldn't have been done, we need to focus on the now." The two sighed and Buffy leaned back into the sofa her gaze falling upon the thoughtful Wiccan.
"Your right this is not the time to debate on what Buffy should or shouldn't have done." Lucinda smiled apologetically at Giles then turned to Buffy, suppressing a small grin at the infatuation she saw there.
"Would you mind if I took a look?" she asked wanting to know how much healing could have taken place in only one night's time.
"Um okay…?" Buffy said caught off guard by the request, but shrugged it off as she stood and slowly raised her shirt stopping before she reached her bra line.
"Buffy…where did you say the sword penetrated exactly." Lucinda said stepping forward to get a closer look.
"Right about here." She touched the flawless flesh that she remembered having been sliced through. Then turned facing Tara and touched a place on her back where the sword had pushed through to the other side. "And…here." Tara's breath hitched, though not because of what she wasn't seeing, Buffy had told her earlier that it had healed so she wasn't all that surprised…but it was because of what she was seeing that was causing her problems.
"Remarkable." Giles commented also getting a closer look as the skin looked undamaged. Buffy rolled her eyes feeling like a specimen that was up for examination.
"Uh-huh." Tara agreed nodding blankly. Buffy glanced at Tara, smirking to herself at the obvious interest in the blonde's dilated eyes. 'Never mind I take that back, examine away' she thought. Joyce caught the interaction and the smug look crossing her daughter's face. She proceeded to make a loud coughing sound to get everyone's attention.
"Okay, I think we can all clearly see the wound is healed now." Buffy and Tara both blushed as Joyce shook her head at the two. "But what does it mean?"
"Well the fact that it has healed so quickly definitely points in the direction that the Slayer is reconnecting herself with Buffy." Lucinda said. "I'm just at a loss as to how. The spell Giles performed should have prevented the Slayer from performing these tasks within Buffy." Tara finally spoke up, something that she had been thinking about finally piecing itself together in her mind.
"L-Lucinda you and I both would be able to pick up on any dark powers if they had seeded themselves within the Buffy…I mean the night that thing attacked her, I felt a large collaboration of power…but when I look into the Slayer's aura now, I see nothing but the split." Lucinda's eyes widened as she realized what Tara was getting at.
"I hadn't even thought of that…" she looked at the questioning gaze from the group then over to Tara. "I'm unable to sense anything other than the split as well."
"Then what was that thing that attacked Buffy?" Joyce asked looking at her daughter. "If it wasn't aiming to manifest itself in Buffy then what was its purpose?"
"To cause the split of begin with." Buffy said seriously. All eyes turned to her once the words had been spoken. "It all makes perfect sense now."
"Buffy you've lost me dear." Lucinda said sitting on the arm of the couch. "What makes perfect sense?"
"If the Slayer side of me was spit then I'd be an open target." She said slowly making sure everyone was following. "So if this thing, whatever it is, was able to gather enough energy to have a physical form for a short amount of time then it would have had to make sure I wouldn't have been able to survive it." She touched her stomach where the sword had embedded itself with in her. "Therefore it would have had to cause a break to make sure I would be incapable of healing." Joyce listened to what her daughter was saying, seeing how it would make sense. "And the night that I began to relapse…couldn't that have been the Slayer inside of me failing."
"Yes it could have been." Lucinda whispered seeing the likeliness of situation. "And I hate to say it but that does match up with the theory of the scales tipping." She muttered shaking her head. "But Giles, hadn't you said that the books I sent you read that if something was able to get through to the Slayer it could destroy her from the inside out?" He nodded his head.
"Yes they did." Lucinda pondered this for a moment.
"B-But what if the books weren't referring to an actual entity, what if it meant something else?" Tara said quickly. Giles's raised his brow, realizing that ancient texts were more often than not cryptic and could have easily held a double meaning. "D-Do you think it's possible that we miss simply judged the situation. Does that make any sense?"
"It does indeed." Giles said trying to wrap his head around it. "But what about the spell I performed…that should have hindered Buffy from regaining her Slayer half."
"Yes but if the Slayer was failing inside of her and possibly even fighting within Buffy to regain hold, the trauma would have ceased when the two were finally separated." Lucinda said answering his question.
"But if the spell had separated them, the question is how was the Slayer able to rebuild the connection. The spell in itself should have made it impossible nearly impossible…" He said at a loss. The group quieted no one having an answer to that specific question.
"M-Maybe the Slayer inside of Buffy was able to fight it off." Tara offered finding her voice. "I-I mean if the spell was placed upon the break itself couldn't it be overridden if the Slayer began to rebuild her tie? I-I mean once the Slayer had begun to heal on her own…wouldn't the spell have been canceled out?" she glanced at Buffy who was listening intently. Giles frowned thinking about what the woman was purposing. It made sense but that meant that they had been wrong from the beginning.
"It's possible yes, but some outside force would have had to start the rebuilding process before the Slayer could have taken over." He rubbed his face then looked at Lucinda. "What do you think?" Lucinda eyed Buffy carefully, seeing that the severed halves of a whole that she had seen the first night Buffy had come to her were indeed joining together. The words 'two halves' kept circling in her head as she looked more closely at Buffy.
"W-What if there were…say an outside force that gave Buffy the push to start healing?" Tara said urgently. "Something that maybe we weren't aware of."
"At this point it could perhaps but it seems rather farfetched."
"I think Tara might be on to something actually." Lucinda said un-focusing her eyes from Buffy and reaching for the book that they had read the night before. She skimmed through the pages and stopped when she found what she was looking for. "A slayer and her host's ties began to unravel" Lucinda read aloud. "But unlike the other slayers this one was able to find her missing half and could retain the damaged to a whole." She closed the book and set it on the desk behind her. "Maybe…the book isn't referring to the other half meaning the Slayer's host, but to something else all together?"
"I suppose it is possible." Giles agreed rubbing at his creasing brow. "But if that is what has happened then how are we to know, what triggered the healing to begin with and if the mending will continue?"
"We can't." Lucinda said simply. "So far all we have are possible variables to what could have happened." she handed the book to Tara who set it back on the shelf. "What we do know is, Buffy's strength is retuning, along with the fact that her soul is being rekindled to a whole. But we have yet to know how or why." She held up her finger preventing any further discussion. "We do not know for certain but can assume at this point that there is nothing evil manifesting within Buffy. If there had been I would have sensed it as would Tara." She sighed. "If you feel up to it we can roll these ideas around for another couple of hours or, and I don't feel I'm speaking solely for myself when I say this, but I myself am more than exhausted. I suggest we all sleep on it and begin again in the morning?" She glanced at the group who seemed to agree with tired eyes.
"I feel that may be for the best." Giles said standing. "It has been a trying day for all concerned…and I am more than ready to call it a night."
"I second that notion." Joyce said also standing. "At the moment I don't think my head could take anymore." Buffy nodded then suppressed a yawn realizing just how tired she really was.
"Goodnight ladies." Giles said leaving the room shortly followed by Joyce. Tara frowned slightly wanting to get a little more research done before calling it a night.
"Lucinda?" the woman turned to look at her as she was beginning to leave the study. "Would you mind if I stayed and read for a while longer?" she looked down at her hands. That is if you don't mind?"
"Of course." She smiled sadly knowing what it was like to want to do everything in one's power to help the one they cared about. "Just try to get some sleep tonight." She touched Tara's cheek fondly then exited the room quietly, leaving the two blondes to themselves.
I hope everyone is enjoying this little fic...and I warn you all now! everything is about to come to head and believe me it willl blow you all outa the water! hehe I know keepin ya all pining. But I promise chapter twenty will be up very soon so you won't have to wait too long. Alright thank you for reading and as always reviews are appreciated and welcomed.