Hey guys, I hvae some bad news for you all... I won't be update for another week, possibly two because I'm going on vacation. I'm going to try my best to post after a week but I mgiht not be able too.. anyways... Enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 5

Practice that day was like hell for Nathan. For the first time in his life he didn't care about basketball. All he cared about was going home and dealing with that notebook. His thoughts jumbled in his brain until was finally able to make it home after practice. He took a quick shower and then locked himself away in his room. He sat on his bed staring at the journal. His head was a mess. It was as if this girl, who he'd gone to school with since middle school, just kind of pops herself into his life unexpectedly, not to mention unintentionally, and turned his world upside down. He continued to stare at the journal. Unsure if he should open it now that he knows who's it is. However, his curiosity got the best of him.

"This is Haley James…" he mumbled to himself as he opened the journal and flipped toward the second half of it, skimming through the entries.

3/12/04

So J, I've been scheming with the madre trying to get her to provide me with guitar lessons but I'm utterly failing. She says she's heard me sing, and learning to play a guitar would well, only egg me on to sing more. But hey, there is a big difference between "belting it out in the shower" singing, and "singing" singing. I guess I'll have to coax her some more, because I want to achieve at least one of my New Year's resolutions, and I'm utterly failing at the other two.

All right, get ready for THE rant. 1) Head tutor is totally not going to happen. Damn that Erica Marsh! Who says seniority means anything? I mean seriously, I'm not trying to sound cocky but… I'm the best tutor out there. But I'm only a mere frosh… in three months I'll be a sophomore though! And Erica Marsh is only a junior, but we have no senior tutors cause they all became lazy bums but that's a different story. Anyway… yeah. That's the first part of my rant.

Part two… Why doesn't Tree Hill have any decent guys! I mean seriously J, not one single guy. Well, there is one. But he's what I'm trying to find something to be distracted from! I mean, why do I even like him? He's the anti-It boy to me, and yet I feel this connection with him. Maybe it's cause I think he's different from all his friends and I'm different from well… everyone else.

Nathan chuckled at the mindless chatter of Haley James and continued to sort through the pages. Even on paper this girl was cute, he thought to himself.

6/10/04

Okay, J, give me two reasons why today is the best day, like, ever. All right, seeing as you can't talk, I'll just tell you. First, it's Shane West's birthday! And no, don't think he's like a boy I've found, I wish! He's just the one that stole my heart in A Walk to Remember. Damn those fictional characters! Anyway… Today is also the best day ever because, I think I've found a boy! Well, I haven't actually met him, but GiGi said that she'd set me up with this friend of hers. So whoo! I might actually fulfill one of my New Year's resolutions! We're going on a date after school ends. I can't wait! I'm done pining for someone I shouldn't be pining for… I hope

Nathan couldn't help but feel a little disheartened at that last sentence, but continued to flip through the pages.

7/1/04

Oh, man, J. Oh man. I just witnessed one of THE most awkward moments in my life. Yes, that's right. I went on the blind date. And for the record, I've already made myself a mental note not to do that EVER again. So anyway, I thought GiGi had a good taste in guys. Boy was I wrong. Guess who she decided to pair me with? TIM SMITH. I've only heard stories about him, but from what I got from my date, they're all probably true. Now, bless his heart, he is a sweet boy, but he's also a weirdo and just shall we say… lacks common sense.

Nathan started laughing. Poor Haley, he thought to himself. Tim is a character. After he stopped laughing he continued reading.

Yeah, so I get to this little restaurant on the docks and well, I waited and waited and waited, and then when I finally realized that the guy who had been sitting at the table alone for about a half our without ordering was probably my date, so I walked over. He was a gentleman, pulling out my chair for me, but then here's when it all went downhill. Tim, trying to be nice, decides to pull the napkin off the table for me and place it on my lap. Too bad he didn't pull just the table! That's right. He grabbed the tablecloth too causing both our waters to spill over and onto me.

After some screaming and pushing away of his hand trying to wipe my skirt off (it was a nice gesture but I can uh, deal with that region thanks!), we finally sat down and ordered. From then on it was just awkward. All he could talk about was either 1) Basketball, 2) Nathan, he like idolizes the guy, and 3) cheesy pick up lines. One word. Windex. Yeah he used the old "Hey do you wash your pants in Windex? Cause I could see myself in them." Let's just say I'm never calling him back.

Oh yeah, did I happen to mention the irony in the fact that Tim kept talking about Nathan… cough. Yeah, enough said. Why am I like this? I don't even know that kid

Nathan continued to laugh. That was typical Tim, and Haley's personality was certainly growing on him. As he continued to laugh at the situation, he had an epiphany. "That's the girl Tim was talking about the summer going into sophomore year!" He continued laughing. "What a liar! He said she was just not good enough for him, but the girl never called him back."

After he finally calmed down, Nathan continued to flip through the pages. Every entry made him become more interested, and every entry allowed him to learn more about her. Nothing really out of the blue happened in her life. She had some tiffs with Taylor, her mom still wouldn't let her do guitar lessons, and she still well, liked Nathan. Everything was normal until he flipped to an entry from April of their sophomore year.

4/16/05

Hey J, we have some startling new developments. I went to the music store today to pick up the new Sheryl Crow CD and guess who was there? bHe/b was. And no not Nathan he. The he from all those pages I ripped out of you. Chris Keller. Apparently he's back in town, and apparently he's not going to Tree Hill High but some private music school in Charleston. Anyway, it was really awkward. I'm still really pissed at him. I thought after all these years I could forgive him, but I can't. You can't just forget things like that. Anyway, he did offer me something good.

Apparently he talked to Taylor… surprise, surprise, and found out I want to learn how to play the guitar and that I want to be a singer. And apparently, "apparently" is my favorite word for this entry. But yeah, but to what I was saying… seeing as he already is a singer and claiming he wants to "make peace with the gods" or some crap like that, he said he would teach me for free. I'm pretty sure there's going to be strings attached, but I really want to learn how to play so I'll just have to take that risk and play it by ear.

"Chris Keller?" Nathan questioned aloud. "He sounds really familiar. Hmm.. I wonder what happened between him and Haley..."

7/4/05

So J, good news… I did my first guitar lesson today! Claps for Haley. And contrary to popular belief, I'm actually pretty good. Who knew I was a fast learner in anything other than school? Chris says I have a lot of potential, but I'm not really sure how much I should take that into account considering he's a horn dog and talks in the third person. But whatever, I'm on the road to stardom! I will become a singer, you will see

Nathan smirked at Haley's enthusiasm and overall brightness, and continued reading her entries, determined to finish the journal by morning. He knew he would have to give it back to her tomorrow, he could tell this means a lot to her.

11/15/05

Today is the day… Karaoke Night at Karen's Café. I'm kind of scared to do it for a variety of reasons. 1) Chris says I'm good, but that good doesn't cut it. 2) I've never sung in front of people before and 3) Peyton Sawyer is the one heading this whole shindig. Plus, Karen is Lucas Scott's mom, meaning him and his whole crowd will be there. Meaning, if I mess up it's pretty much social suicide. Not that I care about any of that, but I'm just saying, I don't want to make a fool out of myself. Wish me luck, I'm peacin' out!

11/16/05

… and I'm back. It's officially the next day since its 12:01 at night, therefore, I'm dating it the next day! All right so J, I know you're dying to know what happened when I sang, and I'll tell you what happened… it didn't. That's right. It didn't happen. Chris went up there, did his thing, then when it was my turn I just… I couldn't do it. I slipped out the back door before anyone could notice. Well, mostly everyone. Peyton had the line up list and was standing next to me as I waited to go on. I thought maybe she'd have woken up on the right side of the bed for once and give me a little pep talk, but alas, she gave me the anti-pep talk. Her words verbatim were "Good luck Helen. Don't throw up into your guitar like that girl did last year. Poor girl thought she was like a musical princess singing from her thrown, but it turns out the only thrown she was going to sing to was the porcelain one."

It's safe to say that that did not calm my nerves, but made them worse. Thus the quick exit. I felt bad 'cause GiGi was there to cheer me on, but I don't know. I just couldn't do it. Music means a lot to me and if people hated it then well, I'd lose confidence. I'm ashamed to say that I let that little.5 of me that cares what people think get to me.

Nathan sighed. He couldn't help but feel bad that Haley didn't perform. If only she'd popped into his life that much sooner, he could have given her courage to get onto the stage. Unlike Peyton, who after going through this journal he had noticed could be quite the bitch to Haley. He'd been there that night. He hadn't thought about it much until now, but Haley James had been around him more than he'd noticed. He flipped through the remaining entries, laughing, sighing, and just sort of growing closer to Haley James. Nothing really drastic happened to her, until he came across one of the last entries.

1/31/06

I knew it, J. I knew it. I told you from the start, that Chris Keller had something up his sleeve. We were working on my guitar lessons today, which had basically turned into singing jam sessions since I picked up the instrument pretty quickly, and out of the blue he kisses me! If this had been a couple years ago, I would have been jumping for joy. I mean it's the perfect musician meets musician romance, too bad we have a history that I can't forget… or even forgive.

I made it clear to him this was strictly business, but turns out the whole time he'd been mixing business with pleasure. He fed me some line, "Haley I know you still have feelings for the Chris Keller. I can feel it in our music." Well newsflash Chris Keller… Haley James just likes sappy love songs! Sheesh. If I have ever met a pigheaded person, it would be him!

So yeah, I'm good enough now on the guitar that I can manage without the lessons and my voice is fine. Let's just say today was my last day in contact with Chris Keller. Oh, and did I mention he told me he was leaving town? He didn't say why, but whatever maybe this time he'll stay away from me so I can just get rid of my past for good.

Nathan closed the journal. He didn't know just what happened between Haley and Chris Keller prior to their musical arrangement, but he could tell it wasn't good. Nathan sat on his bed thinking about everything he just read. Haley James was a much more complex person than he would have thought. But he liked that about her, because he was a complex person too.

He placed the journal back in his backpack, shut the light, and went to bed. He knew what he had to do tomorrow… he just didn't know how Haley was going to react to it. Nathan ran all the different possibilities in his head until he finally drifted off to sleep, coincidently ending in a scenario where Haley jumps into his arms and showers him with kisses for finding her journal.

a/n: Thanks for all your reviews! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Leave feedback :)