I've go the antlers on!
Now then, what else can I say? Well…this is like, the weirdest group of characters I've ever had to write yet, because we're blazing a lot of trails, like this being the first time I work only with a group of three, and while the whole 'only' girl character thing is still going on as it usually does in my fics, this time the guys' personalities have weird little quirks that I'm usually not used to writing (for instance, two out of three of them are sane! And so far, none of them are stupid! What's with that?). Anyway, I'm done ranting.
HOLY CRUD! We're bringing back Akiro! (Ha ha). Once again, like Joku, his part was pretty hit-and-run, but at the same time, it left massive holes in any trace of his personality that when filled in…are very disturbing. Hee hee…
Oh yeah, there's not really going to be a structured storyline, so random episodes are going to be dominant through the whole thing, with just my own minor ties to the 'plotline' (no matter how vague it is). I.E., I'm open to requests! Also, some of the bits may get 'serious', maybe, maybe not. So let's just wait and see how everything turns out, okay?
Another last rant that confuses me is that I thought that Kat would be a pretty popular character, and Joku would be welcomed with 'just smile and nod, smile and nod'. Truth is, it completely reversed, and people were like 'XD IT'S JOKU LOL!', and Kat's recognition of existence took…what, two chapters worth of time in the reviews? Well, this isn't the first time my attempts to understand the fandom have failed completely…
Have I mentioned that nothing in this chapter makes sense?
CHAPTER FOUR
Mr. Muffin: Pomeranian from the Abyss
"RIGHT!" screamed a huge, muscular guy, who was caked in huge muscles, a very strong Scottish accent, and who's body was tattooed in…tattoos. "YOU WHIMPS! AH, YOUR TEACHER, MR. HURTZ, AHM GONNA MAKE IT TIME TO FOR US TAE SEE THE COLOR OF YER BLOOD! LET'S SEE YOU GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE…POP QUIZ TIME!"
Everyone in the seats groaned in agony, except for one seat, where there was all-out furry brewing from the direction of a very angry, nasal-sounding voice.
"WHAT THE HECK DO YOU MEAN A POP QUIZ?" yelled Chazz in utter furry, who was sitting on one side of Alexis, Zane sitting on the other, both of them casting him a critical glance as he got up angrily from his chair, looking like he was about to leap over his desk and tear at the teacher's neck with his teeth. "What kind of pompous arse would give anyone a pop quiz on the BEEPing Monday after entrance exams?"
"ZIP YER LIPS SPAZZ!" said Mr. Hurtz, with one lighting quick movement, pulled out one of test papers, folded it into an origami throwing dagger, and wailed it at Chazz, which buried itself in his forehead, not killing him, unfortunately, because it was made out of paper. "RIGHT! Now take out your pencils, pens or burnt twigs! And just to add a little danger…THE PERSON WITH THE LOWEST GRADE HAS TAE FIGHT THESE TWO, HUGE, RABID GORILLAS!"
He pulled off the cloak that was covering the large box in the middle of the room, revealing it to be a cage that contained two full-grown, snarling, and incredibly hungry looking lions.
"OH! MY MISTAKE!" said Mr. Hurtz. "I just remembered that Ah brought the LIONS today, not the GORILLAS, as originally scheduled! SO YA PANSIES ARE OFF A LITTLE EASY TODAY!"
"This place make's Catholic School look tame!" said Alexis in horror. "This isn't Card Safety 101, it's sadism!"
"Why do you think everyone here except you and that kid is older?" asked Zane.
"You could call him by his name you know," said Alexis, as Chazz slowly dug the paper throwing knife out of his skull.
"Whenever I do, a condescending phrase closely follows it," said Zane. "So really, I'm just going to keep my mouth shut."
"Well you do that…freakywhitewearinggothkid," Chazz muttered under his breath.
"I have no heart to tell him that he's not clever at all," said Zane, as Alexis was reached into her bag to pull out a large, wrapped-up muffin. "Uh, Alexis, I'd put that back in your bag if I were you."
"Why? I didn't have anything to eat this morning," said Alexis, unwrapping the muffing, which had a quick bite in it. "My alarm was disassembled thanks to my roommates' biting curiosity over the question 'So where's the ticky thing in this anyway?', so I hate to snag something quick to eat on the way."
"Seriously Alexis, you should really put it back," said Zane. "I mean, I don't really care or anything but-"
"SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!" screamed Mr. Hurtz, who was passing out the tests, and was only a few rows away from the group, whipping out another ready-made origami throwing dagger, which swished passed the muffin like lightning. The top part of it then slid off in a perfect break, landing on the top of Alexis's desk, and crumbling on impact.
"I'd suggest we'd duck," said Zane undramatically, ducking under his desk, as Alexis and Chazz followed suit in just the nick of time. The instant they did, Mr. Hurtz pulled out a flamethrower that was strapped to his back, and set all of Alexis's desk, most of Zane's and small bit's of Chazz's on fire.
"ALEXIS!" he yelled angrily, as Alexis peeked out, staring up at the mad pyromaniac. "HOW DARE YEH BRING IN A MUFFIN FROM THE BLACK MARKET!"
"Black market?" asked Alexis. "Why would muffins be on the black market?"
"DON'T YEH DARE PLAY DUMB WITH ME FOOL!" he yelled.
"She's a first year Mr. Hurtz, she probably doesn't know," said Zane, also emerging from under the desk, as Chazz was trying to beat out the flames on his desk with Zane's textbook.
"FINE! Listen up gel!" said Mr. Hurtz, as Zane yanked the book out of Chazz's hand with such force that it caused him to fly foreword into the desk, his hair catching on fire. "The reason no muffins are allowed on the school grounds is because the very mention o' that pastry bring up horrible memories of the hearts and minds of students who were in school during…the incident."
"Sorry?" asked Alexis.
"One of our Obelisk students used to own a Pomeranian back when they were allowed on school grounds!" said Mr. Hurtz. "His name was Mr. Muffin…"
"Really? I could have sworn he was Akiro…" said Zane, as Chazz screamed and 'stop-drop-rolled' on the ground.
"THE DOG WAS NAMED MR. MUFFIN, NOT THE KID!" yelled Mr. Hurtz, hurling a dagger at Zane, who didn't get injured by it, but got a couple strands of hair clipped off. "ANYHOO! The boy kept that Pomeranian, raised it with love and care, and what did it do? IT KILLED HIM IN HIS SLEEP!"
"Oh please! As if a little yipper dog could do that!" said Chazz, climbing from the floor with his hair badly singed.
"SHUT UP!" yelled the teacher, aiming the flamethrower at Chazz, who ducked and hid under his desk again. "ANYWAY! The fact is, that boy's death was the only death that we've ever had on Duel Academy's grounds. What's worse is that the Pomeranian escaped before it could be brought into proper custody…so rumor has it that the horrible brute still roams these grounds!"
"And what does the muffin have to do with anything?" asked Alexis.
"BECAUSE LITTLE MISS, that muffin is greatly associated with Mr. Muffin, and all the sickening sickness he caused!" said Mr. Hurtz. "SO IF I EVER CATCH YOU WITH ONE AGAIN, I'LL GIVE YOU AN ORAGAMI WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!"
"O…okay…" said Alexis quietly, shrinking back in her chair.
---ooo---
The rest of the day, oddly, was painfully uneventful. So it was during the afternoon that Alexis packed up and headed back to the Girls' Dorm, managing to put the whole muffin thing successfully at the back of her head. What she didn't know was that what would result from taking a single muffin to class would expose a dark secret, one of the many that lurked in the school…
"LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX!"
Alexis suddenly felt herself cut off from air when a pair of arms wrapped around her in a clamp, and she was squeezed in a 'best friend' hug by one of our favorite manic OCs.
"Oh…hi…Kat…" said Alexis, feeling her trachea bruising.
"What up?" said Kat, setting her free, as Alexis took a thankful gulp of air in. "Hey, I saw you get trashed by Hurtz for talking about the whole 'muffin' thing!"
"Oh…yeah," Alexis, remembering that both she and Kat were in that class. "It was no big deal, I'm just trying to forgive and forget, you know?"
"YEAH!" said Kat. "Anyway, if you found that Pomeranian, what would you do?"
"I don't know…uh…" faltered Alexis.
"I'd try to get it to the SPCA before an angry mob of freaks would come around and rip it to shreds, you know what I mean?" said Kat.
"Yeah…I guess…" said Alexis.
"Great! Then you'll totally help me then!" said Kat. "Thanks a ton Lex!"
"WHAT!" screamed Alexis.
"Yeah, I found that Pomeranian a couple days ago, so he's been in my dorm until I could find someone to help me get him to the SPCA before the mob comes!" said Kat. "Glad to see someone's on my side!"
"I DIDN'T AGREE TO ANY OF THIS!" yelled Alexis. "What do you mean you found him! Why didn't you tell someone?"
"Well…because there's kind of a part two to the story…" said Kat.
"Which is?" asked Alexis darkly.
"You see...that kid's ghost is supposed to be haunting this school, still looking for his dog, and just the thought of some dead kid after your soul has the tendency to freak people out," said Kat. "And not long after I found him, lots of weird things have been happening in my dorm. Light flickering, chilly spots in the room, bizarre sounds at night, frightening dreams, waking up every morning to a ghostly form peering over my head, with eyes coursing with bloodlust…wanting so badly to drive me to the edge of the abyss…to take my soul to the ghostly limbo it now dwells…typical stuff. It's bugging my roomie."
"And not you?" asked Alexis.
"Nah, it's actually kind of cool when random meat cleavers aren't being thrown across the room by extra-earthly means," said Kat. "Anyway, wanna help out?"
"Uh, if there was a ghost, wouldn't it, you know, try to kill us for trying to smuggle the dog off the island?" asked Alexis.
"Oh please! Everyone knows that ghosts don't exist!" said Kat. "And even if they did, all they can do is moan a lot and throw random objects across the room!"
"Like the previously mentioned meat cleavers?" asked Alexis.
"Exactly!" said Kat. "Again, it's really been bugging my roomie."
"Well…fine," said Alexis. "But only because I can't stand the thought of what the living might do to you if they know that you're housing the most hated dog in Duel Academy."
"YOU ARE SO COOL LEX!" screamed Kat, slinging a friendly (and forceful) arm around Alexis, dragging her off in the direction of the Ra Yellow Girl's Dorm.
Somewhere in the distance, a pair of cold eyes watched them, as a frayed and careworn Obelisk Blue boy's uniform blew softly in the cold air…
---ooo---
"So this is your dorm?" asked Alexis, as she walked into Kat's room. Oddly, it was actually a pretty nice room, not as grand and luxurious as the rooms in Obelisk Blue were, but certainly much better than most. The room's theme apparently was yellow, because even though the walls were white, the door was yellow, the trim was yellow, even the bedspread was a soft, creamy yellow. However, Kat's organizational skills were apparent, considering half of the room, the half that she went to, was strewn with clothes and loose papers and (shudder) undergarments.
"Yeah, it's cool," said Kat, dragging out a huge crate from the closet that was made of loose boards that had bite and claw marks criss-crossing the outside of it. "I mean I don't really know what the big deal about the dog is-" she said as she pulled out a crowbar and pried it open, "-because really, he's just a little loud. Anyway, I'm really glad-" she stopped for a moment, because with a heave, she pulled out a huge, metal box with holes in it, with 'Cuidado' scribbled on it in huge, red letters covered in chains that were held together by a padlock, "-that your helping me out. I mean I'm not sure why everyone's so antedated by him," she continued, as she pulled out a string of keys and flipped through them, as a high pitched, squeaky bark could be heard from inside the metal box, as it rattled around on the floor. "He's really harmless…ish…" she continued, as she stuck a key in the padlock, causing the chains to fall off, setting whatever was in the box even more, "even cute…ish…once you get passed the-here he is!"
She pulled out a screaming, yapping, annoying, orangish haired looking little dog, that yipped and struggled violently in Kat's hands, looking like it wanted to kill everything in the room, despite the fact that everything in the room was three times it size at least.
"Okay…" said Alexis, as the dog continued to try with all of it's pathetic might to struggle out of Kat's arms and bite Alexis's throat. "So now what?"
"You know, I never thought it would get this far, so I really have no part two…" said Kat, putting the little hairball down. "Oh, careful Alexis, he bites."
"I noticed," said Alexis, because three seconds before Kat said it, Mr. Muffins clamped his petite jaws on Alexis's ankle.
"I think there's someone down at the dock who'll take him across the ocean to the SPCA if we give him enough," said Kat, digging through a pile of clothes. "I mean, if there was a guy who was willing to smuggle your muffin, there's gotta be someone willing to smuggle a dog off the island."
"Kat, you do realize that smuggling an illegal muffin and smuggling an illegal yapper dog are two different things, right?" said Alexis, walking over to the pile as the dog continued to chew on her ankle.
"Don't worry!" said Kat, pulling out a metal leash. "If push comes to shove, I'm sure any whimpy smuggler will bow to the taste of POWAH!"
"Okay…" said Alexis, as Kat snapped the chain on the yipper dog's collar, causing the little furball to yelp in pain and try to snap it in two with it's jaws.
The girls then took there leave from the room, still brainstorming on the details of the plan, while outside, a dark figure peered into the room…
---ooo---
"I still can't believe it's trying to escape…" said Alexis, as Mr. Muffins struggled bitterly from his restraints, trying to drag the crew back, causing Kat to drag him along behind her.
"Yeah, well…he's like that," said Kat, fighting on the leash with Mr. Muffins as the two were on their way to the docks. "I don't know why I even want to keep that little hairball…he's annoying…he's violent…he's one track minded…and he won't shut up…"
"Yeah well…still, he's kind of cute…" said Alexis, feeling it would be best to hold back her enthusiastic agreement. "But really…if something that small wants to do what he wants so badly, he'll take on anything to get it…that's really something to his credit, right?"
"HOLY COW! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING!" said Kat so strongly, that Alexis was thrown back a little in surprise. "God Lex, you're like…superhumanly compassionate!"
"Not…that much…" said Alexis.
"No really!" screamed Kat. "You know how many stuck-up buttheads I've had to deal with? I've tried to have girlfriends in blue, DANGIT! But in the end…they all get a taste of what is truly, honestly, KAT, THE ENEMY OF ALL OBELISKS!"
"Thanks…" said Alexis.
"Yeah!" said Kat. "And I still owe you supper mega big time for everything!"
"Honestly, is everything I do measured in IOUs?" asked Alexis.
"Nah…" said Kat. "I have to subtract from all the stuff I do for you!"
"Not…quite what I meant…" said Alexis awkwardly.
"That being said! You're the only Obelisk who's adding about as fast as I'm subtracting!" said Kat. "It's cool!"
There was a brief, relaxed pause.
"You know, I don't have any heart to tell you the dog got away," said Alexis.
"Son of a gun…" said Kat, holding up the limp leash, the collar still attached to it.
"They lost…my dog…" said a ghostly voice, coming from the dark entity that watched the girls, as the ran away in different directions to try to catch the dog.
---ooo---
"Mr. Muffins…" sad Kat, sneaking around outside the Obelisk Blue Boy's Dorm, making kissy sounds with her lips to try to attract him. "Mr. Muffins…come on boy…come on you stupid mut…you can chew on my arm if I find you…I'll even do the right one…your favorite…"
She walked right up to a small bush used for topiary next to one of the windows, and with one swipe, pulled it right out of the ground. To her displeasure, the dog wasn't under it, and she chucked the plant to the side.
"Come on Mr. M…Mr. M? Where are you…come on boy…" she said, continuing to stalk around the dorm.
"KAT!"
Kat turned around vaguely, only to see her roommate, Samantha, her eyes bugging out of her sockets and her mouth gapping open in sheer, condoning horror, as if she was watching Kat making out with someone on a public street.
"Oh, got out of work early Sam?" she asked vaguely.
"DON'T GIVE ME YOUR TRASH!" yelled Samantha angrily. "WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SNEAKING AROUND THE OBELISK BLUE BOY'S DORM?"
"No reason," said Kat. "Hey, you haven't seen Mr. Muffins running around here, have you?"
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU HACK ME OFF SO MUCH!" yelled Samantha in what was a combination of disgusted horror and pure rage. "OF ALL THE THINGS YOU CAN DO, YOU GO AND-"
"What the heck is going on out here!" yelled Chazz angrily, walking outside with a flashlight, but then gasping in shock and rage at what he saw. "YOU! You're those two stupid Ra Girls!"
"AH! No! Don't-leave her out of this!" yelled Sam, pointing to Kat. "She's clinically insane!"
"SHUT UP SAM!" yelled Kat.
"And I still have a bone to pick with you!" said Chazz, a disgustingly pleased smile crossing his face. "You, you stupid woman, think you can just go around and make a fool out of me? Well now you're the fool…sneaking around the dorms at night is grounds for expulsion!"
"NO!" screamed Sam, running up to Chazz. "Please, she didn't mean it, she's just-"
"POWAH!"
Kat ran at a super fast speed over to Chazz, grabbed him roughly by the collar of his turtleneck, and with one power throw, hurled him over her shoulder, cannoning into a wall of the dorm.
"Any jerk who resorts to blackmail on nice girls like my buddy gets a taste of me! Kat Tillian, the Enemy of all Obelisks!"
"THAT STUPID THING AGAIN?" yelled Samantha.
"Ah…darnit…" snarled Chazz, pulling his body out of the wall, as chunks of plaster from it fell to the ground. "Well Kat, I hope you know that you are now playing on my territory…how the boys back home will praise me for doing away with the great mistress of random violence, Kat Tillian herself…"
"I wonder if you look less ugly upside-down," said Kat, flipping her head over to get a good look at Chazz. "Uh…NOPE!"
"Prepare to die, Ra Rubbish!" yelled Chazz, running full speed at Kat with a homicidal look on his face. "GET READY TO-"
"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!"
With that, Samantha threw herself in front of Chazz, as Chazz screamed and tried to stop himself from running headlong into Kat. However, this failed miserably, and instead what happened was with a scream, he crashed into Samantha, sending them both falling down the hill. However, the force was so great, that they went pell-mell, banging and rolling over one another until they landed-
SPLASH!
-in the lake at the bottom.
"BWA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!" screamed Kat, screaming with laughter at the sight of Sam and Chazz spread eagle in crazy positions, sloshing in the water. "OH MY GOD! I HOPE THERE'S A SECURITY CAMERA TAPING THIS OR SOMETHING!"
"Kat…y…you…" said Sam pathetically, coughing out lake water as Kat still shrieked with laughter at the sight of their pain, as she struggled to her feet.
"Sorry Sam it's just…ah…" said Kat laughing at first, but then her tone turning very awkward, for when Chazz began to rise out of the water…well, he wasn't happy. Not happy at all. In fact, his eyes were glazed over in pure, one-hundred-person bloody murder.
"Um…" faltered Sam. "I guess it's really, really late to say sor-"
SHING!
With that, a lock of her bangs fell to the ground.
"I don't know why there's an axe lying at the bottom of this lake," said Chazz, a very sadistic looking gleam in his eye, as he was clutching a dripping wet axe in his hand, which had 'Axe of Insanity' written across it in great, silver letters, "but that being said…mine is not a benevolent God…"
"Habla what?" asked Kat.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Sam, sloshing awkwardly through the water, but the second she got out, quickly made a break for it. "RUN KAT, HE'S GOING TO TOTALLY KILL US!"
"As opposed to only partially killing us?" asked Kat.
"GET READY TO DIE WENCH!" yelled Chazz, also sloshing through the water and chasing after her.
Kat just stood there, watching Chazz cackle manically and chasing a screaming Sam, who was careening down the path in front of them.
"This looks like a good excuse to beat someone up!" she said, chasing after Chazz.
---ooo---
"Mr. Muffins!" said Alexis, shining the flashlight all around the docks. "Mr. Muffins! Come out, come out, wherever you are! Here boy! Where are you Mr. Muffins?"
She continued to direct the beam or light in every direction, but the docks were completely baron. There was not a soul around.
"Mr. Muffins!" said Alexis, almost angrily now. "COME ON! This isn't what good dogs do you know! THIS IS WHY I'M A CAT LOVER YOU KN-"
"Hello…"
"AH!" screamed Alexis, whirling around at the sound of the flat, indifferent voice, directing the beam right at Joku, who just stared back blankly at her. "Oh…it's just you…you scared me…"
"I'm Joku," said Joku.
"Yes, I know," said Alexis. "You told me last time we met, remember?"
"…your skirt's short…" said Joku.
Alexis glared darkly at him.
"But it looks good on you…really good…hot good…" said Joku. "I like to play polo on-"
"Okay, I've already I decided I don't want your monolog to continue," said Alexis. "Anyway, have you seen a little yipper dog?"
"Plenty…at the zoo…in houses…in those weird designer bags with cute animal prints on them…on death row…" said Joku.
"I mean recently," said Alexis, cutting him off sharply.
"…my shoes don't match," said Joku.
"You know, I'm just going to walk away and pretend no part of this conversation ever happened," said Alexis flatly. "Mr. Mu-"
"YOU FOOL!" screamed Joku, this time in a very dark, very acidic, almost inhuman like tone, his hair suddenly flying up in an invisible tempest, his eyes turning into pupiless, blood-red slits. "HOW DARE YOU OVERLOOK SUCH A FOOLISH ERROR? YOU LEAVE YOUR HEART LYING ON THE GROUND, AND EVERYONE SHALL TRAMPLE IT! THE WOMAN AND CHILDREN WILL LAUGH AT YOUR CORPSE! I WILL MARRY YOU THRID COUSIN TWICE REMOVED! T3H 3V1L! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!"
Alexis looked bug eyed at his deranged, cackling, ranting form. Then almost as soon as it happened, the wind subsided and Joku was back to…uh…'normal'.
There was utter silence.
"I'm Joku," Joku said.
"Don't care," said Alexis.
"Oh, what now?" asked an oh-so-familiar voice behind Alexis.
"Nothing," said Alexis, whirling around to face Zane. "Uh…how long have you been here?"
"This whole time, but the author hasn't noticed," said Zane.
---ooo---
"Oh…sorry," said the author from reality, staring at the computer screen. "My bad just…just keep up the storyline!"
---ooo---
"And she honestly calls herself 'third person omniscient'," said Zane, almost annoyed. "Anyway, what are you doing out here, and why are you looking for Mr. Muffin…okay, I guess the second question kind of answered the first."
"I'm not looking for Mr. Muffins!" said Alexis defensively.
"Then why are you out here saying 'Mr. Muffin, where are you'?" asked Zane.
Silence.
"Well why are we really doing anything?" asked Alexis. "I mean, in a secular view, isn't it all kind of pointless?"
"That wit was so close to being successful…but it lacks something…" said Zane, almost critically. "Oh well, we'll work on it. Now what are you doing?"
"Tag," said Joku dully, kicking Zane into the ocean for no apparent reason, causing him to crash in with a splash and a cry of shock.
"I won't ask, but thanks!" said Alexis, turning around to run when-
PAM!
SPLASH!
Sam crashed into her, causing both of them to scream and fall into the ocean.
"AH! NOW ANOTHER ONE'S GOING TO KILL ME!" screamed Samantha, tears running down her face.
"Ow…hey…aren't you…" Alexis started, trying to gently push Sam off of her.
"TIME TO DIE!" screamed Chazz at the top of his lungs. He had an incredibly homicidal look on his face that caused Alexis's hair to stand up on horrific end, as he lept up into the air, flying right over the two girls, axe raised high, ready to deliver a final, crushing blow on Samantha.
He missed entirely and landed about three feet behind him, once again causing a huge wave to wash over the gang.
"CHAZZ YOU IDIOT!" screamed Alexis. "What the heck are you doing?"
"POWAH!"
KA-SPLASH!
Like a rocket, Kat spiraled down, and with a twirl, drove the heel of her shoe right into Chazz's back as he was about to get out of the water.
"AND ANOTHER ONE GET'S A SMACKDOWN!" said Kat triumphantly, standing right on top of Chazz, who was twitching angrily. "Because wet or dry, no slimy little Obelisk has enough P0W4H to stand up to…KAT! THE ENEMY OF ALL OBE-"
"GET OFF OF ME YOU HORMONE-HIGH RA RUBBISH!" yelled Chazz, getting up angrily, causing Kat to loose her balance and land in the water.
"GAH!" yelled Kat, her head shooting out of the water. "I'LL WRING YOUR PENCIL NECK!"
"DIE YOU ROTTEN RA!"
"POWAH!"
So basically, Chazz and Kat were now having a cat fight, hissing insults at each other and trying to dig each other's nails into the opponent, Samantha was yelling at Kat and alternately begging everyone else for forgiveness, Alexis was screaming at Chazz angrily, Zane was just trying to get everyone to stop, and Joku just observed the scene casually, before letting himself tip over into the water.
"WHERE'S MY DOG?"
The scream from the shore automatically caused a halt in all conversation/insults/death threats, as the characters uneasily turned to the person who yelled out the question.
It was the figure of a tall young man, one with an extra-flowy uniform (bought special on his first day to scare the heck out of couples who make out next to the beach…Zane has a similar one, but he hardly uses it anymore after scaring virtually everyone away from his favorite light house) that was frayed and ghostly as it blew in the breeze. The mist behind him floated around, billowing over the gang, as an almost green glow mixed itself in among the murkiness.
"Uh…I dunno?" asked Kat.
"Great job you pestilence of a hormone high yabbo," said Chazz. "Way to save our rear ends."
"I'm Joku," Joku muttered halfway underwater.
"SILENCE!" screamed the figure. "FIGURES THAT YOU LOSE MR. MUFFINS! WHY IS IT SO DARN HARD TO KEEP TRACK OF A STUPID YIPPER DOG! HECK, HE'S NOT EVEN MINE! HE'S MY SISTER'S!"
"So you're family has personal problems. Big deal," said Kat.
"SHUT UP!" screamed Chazz, socking her. She returned it…with ten times more force.
"Hey, how come you're so darn attached to the thing anyway?" asked Alexis. "Last time I checked, that thing is the reason your dead!"
"I'N NOT DEAD!" screamed Akiro.
Silence.
"You're not?" asked Zane.
"No, I'm not!" yelled Akiro.
"Yeah you are," said Kat.
"NO I'M NOT!" yelled Akiro.
"Then what's with all the fog?" asked Kat.
"I DON'T KNOW!" yelled Akiro. "What do I look like, a meteorologist?"
"That doesn't make sense!" said Alexis. "What happen? I mean…you can't just…if you're not dead, then what have you been doing all this time? Didn't this happen more than a year ago?"
"I've been going to school all this time, and nobody's bloody noticed," said Akiro.
"Wow! You must be pretty unsociable!" said Sam.
"I AM NOT!" yelled Akiro.
"Are you sure you're not a ghost?" asked Kat, wadding toward him. "Can I touch you and see if I go through you?"
"No you may not!" yelled Akiro.
"TOUCH!" screamed Kat, slapping Akiro as hard as she possibly on the back, causing him to, yes…fall in the water.
"Great so we've got…three Obelisks who want to kill us now?" asked Samantha, as Akiro broke the surface of the water and sucked a massive gulp of air into his waterlogged lungs.
"But that still doesn't explain why the weird, phantasmagorical occurrences that are closely associate with supernatural intensity," said Zane.
"WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE EMO-BOY!" yelled Chazz.
"And I really thought you rose above the 'stupid Obelisk' thing…" said Zane.
"I don't know!" yelled Akiro. "Why are the teachers insane, the transfer students tend to be cross-dressers or shirtless guys, and every man on this entire island has a fourteen inch waist?"
"Kids got a point!" said Kat. "WHO WANTS TO GO BACK TO THE RA DORMS AND HAVE PIE?"
"I could stand being sugar high right about now," said Alexis.
"NO WAY AM I GOING TO SHOW MY FACE AROUND A DORM OF FILTHY RAS!" yelled Chazz. "It's not blackberry, is it?"
"It's cherry," said Samantha.
"Supposed I can hit and run…" thought Chazz.
"The strength of your convictions astounds me Chazz," said Zane.
"SHUT UP!" yelled Chazz.
"Shouldn't we still try to find Mr. Muffin though?" asked Alexis.
"I'm Joku," said Joku, holding out a soggy little ball of orange fur, as it yapped angrily and would attempt to tear Joku limb from limb if it wasn't held out in the air with stubby little legs incapable of even the simplest mauling.
"I can't help but find this somewhat anti-climatic," said Zane.
"I don't care," said Alexis. "Anti-climatic endings are good. As long as there endings."
"Don't you want this chapter to end on a somewhat interesting note?" asked Zane.
"I want pie more," said Alexis.
"HERE HERE!" said Kat.
"Well, I think we should at least end it with some sort of moral," said Zane.
MORAL TO THE CHAPTER
Pie is so much better than climatic endings. Unless the climatic endings involve pie…or cookies…especially those really pretty ones with the frosting and sprinkles on top that look like little cakes.
---ooo---
L33T B0NUZ PHUN!
"I'm telling you, there's a disembodied voice in the library!" said Alexis angrily, shoving Zane into the library.
"Alexis, what have I told you?" said Zane. "When it comes to cold medicine, less is more. I…only I…can use more."
"Excuse me?" asked Alexis.
"So what happened anyway?" asked Zane.
"Ya know, just walking into the room, kneel down to pick up a book," said Alexis, pointing to the dropped text book on the floor, "and before I know it, this disembodied voice started to rant on about something about t me being pursued by thousands of hungry, lonely men. Which stinks by the way."
"Here here," said Zane. "Well, not about the men part, but…well actually…"
Silence.
"Oh look, no disembodied voice," he said.
"There was one here!" screamed Alexis. "I swear it!"
"Maybe the librarians are just feeling in the mood for a pratical joke again," said Zane. "They think they're so cool just because they know how to use the dark and unholy powers of the Dewy Decimal System…DDS as I like to call it."
"But…" said Alexis.
Silence reigned supreme.
"COME ON! I KNOW YOU WANT TO TAUNT ONE OF US!" yelled Alexis to the ceiling.
"Go back to your dorm Alexis," said Zane.
"You think I'm crazy don't you?" asked Alexis.
"No, I think the librarians are bored, so head off," said Zane, as Alexis sighed She then hung her head, and forlornly, she dragged herself out of the library.
"What's God's purpose for librarians anyway?" asked Zane, absentmindedly gazing at the book on the ground. He knelt down to pick it up-
"Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…"
"Librarians!" Zane hissed angrily.
"Zane Truesdale…is actually a small country in Northern Germany!"
"Excuse me?" asked Zane. "First of all, you can't have a country within a country. Second…you should know that, being the librarians that you are."
"Zane Truesdale…is a geography nerd..."
"As if any of you should talk," said Zane.
"Zane Tresdale…is too stupid to realize that we're not librarians."
"Okay…this was cute for about the first fifteen seconds, now it's just annoying," said Zane. "Stop it."
"Zane Truesdale…is addicted to Spaghetti-Os."
"…how do you know that?" asked Zane.
"It's written all over your face you Northern German geography nut spaghetti-O eater!"
"There's no shame in Spaghetti-Os!" said Zane. "Okay…now I'm ticked…"
---ooo---
Zane: Some moral.
Alexis: True. God, this chapter was long! Whatever, now what happens next?
Chazz: Is it something that makes sense?
Alexis: Actually Chazz…no it doesn't. And it's another one when you're the victim.
Chazz: WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE VICTIM?
Alexis: Because you're you!
Zane: Next time-
Chazz: I GET TO INTRODUCE THE NEXT CHAPTER, DARN IT! (knees Zane in a very uncomfortable spot)
Alexis: O.O Chazz, do that again, and Shri will kick you off this fic.
Chazz: Next time…WHAT? What kind of title is 'The Devil Compels J00'?
Alexis: A title worthy of you insanity.