Chapter 12b

Nathan readjusted himself in the chair, making sure he was comfortable because he could tell he'd be reading for a while, pulled the papers out of the folder and looked down at the first entry.

5/1/01

Hey J, guess what? I met a boy. Yes, a boy! He's a musician and a year older; goes by the name Chris Keller. He works in the music store in town and we've been talking for a while now. It seems every time I go in there to pick up a new cd he's working, and just so happens to find me. He's a nice guy, or so he seems. He's not what people would consider "hot" but he's cute, and has that musical edge to him that's really enticing to me. Hopefully if we keep on running into each other he will finally ask me out…

As he continued reading through the first entry Nathan couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy at Haley's feelings for Chris. However, he pushed that aside and continued to read the entries.

6/2/01

Okay J, I'm giving you five seconds to guess why I'm so happy right now. Alright fine, considering you can't talk I'll just tell you. IT HAPPENED. Yes, that's right, Chris Keller asked me, Haley James, out on a date! After some "chance" run-ins with him and my weekly trips to the music store, he finally asked me out! We're going to dinner and the movies tomorrow night. I'm so excited! I've got to go squeal to my siblings about this, I'll write in you later about what went down!

6/4/01

I went on my date with Chris yesterday. And it was wonderful! We went to this quaint little restaurant first and just talked. It turns out he's trying to make it as a professional musician. He writes his own songs and plays both the guitar and the piano. He told me he'd sing to me one day, and I hope it's soon. I'm sure he has a beautiful voice. Afterwards we went and saw a movie together. He wrapped his arm around me and rested my head on his shoulder. It was romantic, and it made me feel warm inside. Chris Keller is quite the charmer!

6/10/01

Guess what J? Chris officially asked me to be his girlfriend today! I've had some little month-long relationships, I mean, I'm only 13, but I have a feeling this one will be a bit more serious. I really like him. He's just fun to be around and his interest in music is a definite plus. He can be a little arrogant at times, but he treats me like a lady so it's all good! I'm just so happy right now. At first I thought Tree Hill would be horrible, but looks like it's taken a change for the better!

Nathan continued reading, watching Haley and Chris' relationship develop and wondering to himself why she ripped this out of her journal, and why she wanted him to read it. He read about their dates, about his romantic gestures of flowers and candy, and her growing liking of him. He flipped through more entries, the jealousy growing in himself at Haley's fondness of Chris.

12/23/01

So Chris and I exchanged Christmas gifts today and what he gave me was so cute! First off, HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME! Yes, my stomach is now aflutter due to my extreme happiness. The way he did it was so cute and original. He gave me a little box and after I unwrapped it I saw a necklace with a key hanging from it. Then he looked me in the eye and pulled a necklace of a lock he was wearing out from under his shirt and said, "Haley James, I gave you this necklace because you are the only girl who has the key to unlock my heart. I love you." And of course, I said it back. I've been feeling like that for a while. To anyone, this scene would have been a cheese-fest, but to me it was romantic and sweet. Afterward he serenaded me, causing me to swoon over him even more. This was probably one of the best Christmases ever.

As he skimmed through more of her entries, Nathan became increasingly more interested in why exactly she had given this to him. I mean, these entries were nothing more than just her falling for Chris Keller. Nothing bad had happened, nothing a normal teenage girl wasn't dealing with. He didn't understand, I mean, the only thing that was coming out of these entries was Nathan's jealousy and the fact that deep down he wished that he was the boy being written about in these journal pages. Until he saw the entries start to go on a downward spiral.

3/27/02

Hey J, this entry is kind of going to be a somber one. I'm really confused right now. I mean, as you know I just keep falling more and more for Chris and we're basically inseparable. I love him and want to spend all my time with him. There's only one problem, the big bad sex issue. We're in love so of course we love showing affection. He'll steal kisses as we're walking down the street and whenever we're together a heated make-out session always occurs, but lately he's been pressing for more. But that's the thing, I love him, but I'm not ready. I've always seen myself waiting for marriage, and I still do. And I know for sure I don't want to lose it at 14. But Chris is 15, soon to be 16, and he's already lost what Taylor refers to as "The V Card." I mean, he's only been with one person, but it's still overwhelming. He's obviously much more experienced then me, and obviously wants more, but I can't give that to him. We reach this point and I just stop. He probably thinks I'm a tease but I'm just not ready.

4/15/02

J, I have a problem. Tension is building between me and Chris and not in a good way. I love him. I love how he makes me feel, how me makes me laugh, his beautiful voice that makes my heart melt, but I don't love the way he keeps pushing me. We'll hang out, go on a date, and have a wonderful time, but then when it comes to the late night kiss or a make out session he always heats things up more or asks me to stay over, and every time I have to make up an excuse on why I can't or why I have to leave. It's just to me becoming a hassle. He says he loves me, yet he has trouble respecting my decisions even though I support his music career with all my heart. I just don't get it.

After reading over part of the second the half of what was in the folder, Nathan could tell whatever Haley was going to tell him had to do with Chris Keller. He wasn't sure what, but he knew it dealt with him. And he could also tell that Chris Keller was slowly breaking Haley James' heart whether she realized it at the time or not. Breaking away from his thoughts, he continued reading.

6/8/02

Hola J, I just got back from going out with Chris. Things were fine, we talked, watched a movie, and I ended up falling asleep so he woke me and drove me home, but there was something I noticed. He's distant. I've noticed it the past couple of weeks but tonight was like the real eye opener. I had to start the conversations, he wouldn't put his arm around me or play with my hair like he used to and there was this awkwardness lingering in the room. I don't know what's happened to us, but I want to fix it. I love him, and I'm not ready to lose him.

9/2/02

J, today was bad, really bad. Chris and I got into a fight, a big fight. There was shouting and words exchanged that neither of us could take back. He called me a tease and a goody-two-shoes, and told me that if I didn't want him to keep pressing me that I shouldn't wear such revealing clothes. But I don't know what he's talking about because I would hardly call a skort and a tank top revealing. I mean, if that's revealing than he must consider what girls like Peyton Sawyer and Brooke Davis, or my sister Taylor wear to be their birthday suit.

Anyway, all of his comments got me really mad so I countered him saying he was an egotistical jerk who uses too much hair gel, and was trying too hard with his music that actually sounded like crap. Let's just say it did not end well and I ended up storming home to cry by myself in my room. Hopefully he'll call me, otherwise I'll go talk to him tomorrow. I'm sure he didn't mean everything he said, because I know I didn't.

Nathan couldn't help but feel himself dishearten at Chris' treatment of Haley. He would never do that to a girl. To him it seemed that Chris was finally showing his true identity, the fact that he was a sleaze, and Haley wasn't realizing it, or refusing to realize it, because she was "in love." Nathan couldn't help but wonder if Chris actually did love Haley, or if he had, if he still did, because when you love someone you don't treat them badly or say such hurtful things. However, what he just read, was nowhere near as bad as what he was about to read.

9/3/02

Life sucks J. It really does. Today was officially the worst day of my life. I've never felt so angry and so sad at the same time. It hurts so much, I have never felt like this before. So you know that fight I told you about yesterday between me and Chris? Well, he never called me so I decided today I would go over to his house to talk about it, apologize, and hopefully make things better. But do you know what happened instead? I got a giant slap in the face and was shown to all how utterly oblivious and naive I am to everything.

I got to his house and saw that only his car was in the driveway, and knocked on the door. No one answered, I figured he was sleeping, so I opened the unlocked door and went inside planning on waking him up with a sweet little kiss. However, the site I got when I opened the door was not a bsleeping/b Chris, but a Chris bsleeping with/b a Taylor. MY SISTER. The looks on their faces when they saw me standing in the doorway was a mix of guilt and anger at the fact they got caught. However, I didn't wait to see what they had to say because what they did was inexcusable, so I just ran home and cried. Actually I'm still crying as I'm writing in you, hence the tearstains. But I had to get all my anger out.

HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID? I should have known that if I couldn't give myself to Chris he would have gone to someone else. I thought he was a good guy. And he was, but lately, I've notice that he is nothing more than an arrogant ass. And my sister, she's nothing to me anymore. How could she do that? How could she sleep with MY boyfriend? Someone she knew I loved and would do anything for. I mean, I talked to her about it all the time. Why couldn't she just stick to guys her own age! Oh, I know why, it's because she has this stupid competition thing going on with me. She always tries to match whatever I do, and if she can't she tries to take it from me or get something better. Looks like she went for taking it from me this time, and that's the final straw. I've put up with her crap for years, but no more. She's gone too far, I can't forgive her, not this time. And Chris… let's just say he won't be in my life anymore. And if he just so happened to appear around town with random patches of his most prided hair missing, then well… wasn't me.

J, I don't get it. I just. I don't. Why me? I loved him, but how quickly that love turned to hate. And how quickly my ability to trust went down the drain. It's me against the world now; I guess it's kind of how it's always been. Well, I've got to go. I can't think about this anymore so I'm just going to go crawl up in a ball on my bed and cry.

As Nathan finished the entry he felt his blood begin to boil. He could now see why she would want this ripped out of her journal and her life, and why the folder was so dusty. He would try to keep something like this in his past too if he could. How could Chris do that to her? Haley was nothing by perfect too him and yet he screwed her over. Nathan felt horrible for how Haley was treated, and had both a need to punch Chris Keller in the face, and bitch Taylor out. That must have been a horrible thing for Haley to go through. He was confused however on one point, why was he bringing all this up now? Why almost three years later would Haley decide to rip this pain out of its hiding and share it with him. He didn't know, but he was about to find out.

Nathan looked at the clock and it was approaching one in the morning. He knew she'd told him to call her, but it was really late and she was probably asleep. He didn't want to wake her, but at the same time he wanted to know what all this was about. He continued to sit in his chair debating on what to do.

Haley sat on her bed like she had been for most of the day waiting for her cell phone to ring, but it didn't. She looked at the time on her phone. It flashed 1:15 a.m. "I guess, he's not calling," Haley said sighing, feeling a sadness develop in the pit of her stomach as she rolled over to attempt to enter a restless sleep. That however was put to a holt as she heard a light tapping on her bedroom door…