AN: All characters in this story belong to Stephenie Meyer, I can only take credit for the story itself.
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I headed north of his position and located the first nonhuman prey I could find. I took little time in snapping the deer's neck and ripping into the soft flesh of the neck. I drank deep feeling replenished, but not entirely satisfied. As I began the hunt for another source of substance, I heard a strangled cry and a roar. The scent of fresh blood quickly filled my senses and I found myself drawn to the source. What I found instantly terrified me. There on the ground was the beautiful human who spied me in the forest, and he was barely alive. Above him was a huge bear intent on ripping his body apart. Without thinking and with great satisfaction, I made short work of the bear and then gingerly picked up the human. His blood intensified my thirst, increased the amount of venom in my mouth, and it strained every bit of will power I possessed to keep myself from drinking as deeply from him as I had from my most recent kill, but I found a stronger desire rising up within that told me I didn't want to lose this man. As I looked at him, I noticed there was something in his eyes as he stared up at me that pulled at my heart. I hadn't experienced this type of desire ever, not as a human and definitely not as a vampire. I had never experienced these new stirrings before, and my one consuming thought was to get him to Carlisle as quickly as possible.
Cradling him as gingerly as possible, I ran toward home. Every moan that issued from his mouth made me quicken my pace and intensified my resolve to save him one way or another. A few times, he opened his eyes and stared up at me with a look I had never seen before and then ever so slightly he would murmur in an agonized moan what sounded like 'my angel.' The look made me feel as if he was in awe of me. He should have been fearful of being transported by someone so inhuman and of traveling at lightning speeds, but the look in his eyes was not fearful. 'Is that admiration in his intense gaze?' I wondered. No, it was even more than that, and the strength of his body coupled with the strength of his emotions left me speechless. He was worshipping me with his eyes, and it caused a shiver of pleaser run down my spine. Once again, those strange new sensations stirred within me, but they were stronger this time. I wanted to say something to comfort him, but I was void of words, so I just concentrated on reaching Carlisle before it was too late and I lost this Adonis forever.
Once I saw our house, I increased my speed, and before I even reached our perfectly manicured lawn, I began calling Carlisle's name. My worst fear was that he was still at work, and due to my anxiety, I couldn't settle the chaos in my mind in order to remember his weekly work schedule. As I neared the house, I saw the front door open and I began searching for Carlisle's face. Before I made it up the front steps, he had joined me and quickly asked what I was intending to do with the young man in my arms. I uttered two words that would forever change my existence, "Change him."
Surprise flashed across his face as we rushed through the door and up the stairs, and I realized he thought I was going to change this human myself. "You change him," I clarified with pleading in my voice.
Carlisle made no reply as he followed me into my room and I careful laid my offering to him on my bed.
"Rosalie, I'm not sure this is wise." Carlisle protested. He hadn't thought twice about changing me. Why was he hesitant now?
I was offering this human as the next member of the family, and I decided right then, that I wanted him. "Carlisle, I want him," I was almost begging when a new realization overwhelmed me. I didn't just want him I needed him. For some inexplicable reason, I needed this man to be part of my existence; with him, I wouldn't be alone anymore, and with him, I felt as if I could find happiness and hopefully love.
"And what if he doesn't want you," Carlisle replied softly. He was recalling my response to being changed.
Yes, I had been angry, and at times, I was still angry and hurt, but this was different. If Carlisle didn't do it quickly, I would lose him and the chance of discovering if he truly felt for me what his eyes hinted he felt. "Carlisle, this is my one chance to be with someone I have feeling for. I not only want him, I need him, and I think he might want me. I can't lose that." I decided I was done begging and pleading, so I vehemently snarled, "Besides, you owe me for the life you stole from me. Change him." It was not a request but a demand.
"And what happens, if after he is changed, you discover he hates you for what you've changed him into." I could see the hurt and sorrow in Carlisle's eyes. Had I really hurt him that much with my unwillingness to accept that my fate had been sealed and I wouldn't have survived if it hadn't been for him? Could I stand it if this man looked at me the same way that I sometimes looked at Carlisle? "I'll learn to accept it," I stated firmly. I decided it was worth the risk. I didn't want to lose this man; for whatever inexplicable reason, I felt drawn to him, as if he were the only happiness I would find in this existence, and I didn't want to jeopardize losing that hope while it was within my reach. "Please, Carlisle, before it is too late. I will live with whatever his feelings will be after he realizes what I did to him."
Carlisle took a deep breath, and calmly said, "You truly want this." Not a question I noticed, and before I could respond, he bit the man three times, as I looked on.
The venom, as it entered the man's body, caused him to thrash in pain, and I knew I could do nothing to alleviate his torment. Panic seized me as the man screamed, and I found myself scanning Carlisle's face for assurance. "Was it too late?" I asked hesitantly.
"No, this is a normal reaction to the venom as it begins its job." Carlisle's tone was remorseful.
I began to wonder if he regretted his decision, but I felt hopeful that everything would turn out fine. I noticed Esme and Edward standing in my doorway. Esme smiled slightly, but Edward just turned his back and walked away.
I spent the next three days beside the man I had saved from the bear. I watched as his body surrendered to the pain. I had never witnessed anyone being transformed before, and I wanted to cry for him, but couldn't, so instead, I would gently caress his face every time the pain racked his body. I discovered, to my pleasure, that he would lean into my touch, but I couldn't be sure if his response was one of pleasure or relief. I knew the coldness of my hand would bring a sliver of relief from the fire that was burning inside of his body. Could he, however, find any pleasure in my touch while he was suffering so intensely? And more importantly, would he accept my touch after it was all over?
Carlisle looked in occasionally to check on the man's progress and to reassure me that the transformation was progressing normally. Through it all, I watched this man and realized I was falling deeper and deeper in love with him. Every time he cried out in pain, I would feel a sharp tug of pain in my heart. I had thought it was a dead organ, but for being dead, it suddenly had a multitude of feelings where this man was concerned. I continually caressed his face and began whispering words of encouragement as he thrashed around on the bed. I fought the urge to run my fingers through his dark curly hair, and to run my hand over his well defined chest, but I couldn't stop the shivers of pleasure I felt when I thought about touching him in such a manner, and I couldn't stop feeling somewhat afraid that he too would reject me like Edward did.
I also attentively watched his eyes; most of the time, they were open but oblivious to his surroundings. The pain consumed the majority of his attention, but once in awhile I glimpsed that same worshipful stare as before, and it filled me with hope that he might return my feelings. To my dismay, I noticed that the look was not reserved for only me. Whenever he noticed Carlisle, he would give him a similar look, but the look was less emotional than when he directed his admiring eyes at me, and that gave me a glimmer hope that maybe this man might develop similar feelings for me as I had for him.
I kept a meticulous vigil over him, I decided that if for some reason my hope was false and this man rejected me, I wouldn't hate him even if he hated me. I had built up enough hate about my own transformation and I had alternately hated and loved my new family. If this man didn't choose me as I was choosing him, then I would let him go. I wouldn't stop him from going or staying. Instead, I would give him his freedom, even though it would break my heart. If he hated me for cursing him to this existence, I would accept his anger and if he blamed me for his new existence, I would silently bear the burden of my mistake; I wouldn't hate him as Edward hated me.
On the last day of the change, Edward came and sat with me as I watched an angel transforming before my eyes.
"Rosalie," he started hesitantly. "I don't hate you."
I turned and stared at him thinking 'where is this coming from.' "And?" I asked him wanting to know where he was going with that statement.
"Well, I know you think I hate you. I've heard you say it so often . . ."
I raised my voice as I cut him short, "I never said any such thing."
"Not verbally, but I've heard it in your thoughts often enough that I just wanted you to know that it isn't true."
"So, what are you trying to tell me?" I queried. I had to know where he was going with this train of thought.
"I just want you to know, whatever happens, I hope this turns out better than the last time Carlisle changed someone." He sat beside me looking down at the floor.
"I don't understand, Edward." Maybe I needed clarification; was he trying to say he loved me or that he had no feelings for me whatsoever.
"Look, I didn't know Carlisle went out looking for someone for me. If I had, I would have stopped him, but I don't hate you. I like you, just as if you were my sister. I know we have never talked about this before, but I think it's time we clear the air. You have obviously found someone you have feelings for, and I want you to know that I truly hope this works out. I want you to find happiness, just like I'd want any sister of mine to find happiness, but . . ." he paused.
As I waited, I watched his face for signs of anger or hurt. Could he really have romantic feelings for me, or were those feelings just brotherly. As time passed, I grew impatient for him to finish what he was saying, until I finally asked, "But what Edward?"
He shifted his focus from the floor and looked me directly in the eyes. I saw a deep sorrow in them. "Rose," he hardly ever called me that and it surprised me. "I don't want to see you hurt. I just hope this man can return your feelings."
I stared at him in surprise realizing he knew how I felt. Sometimes it was easy to forget that he knew every thought I had.
"I don't want to see you angry and hurt again," he continued without reacting to my surprised look. "I really want you to find something special." He took my hand in his. "As a brother, I feel very protective of you at this moment; I don't want you to be in pain because of another rejection. I'm sorry I caused you so much heartache these last two years, but you know as well as I that we have never felt anything remotely romantic for each other."
I couldn't believe he was opening up to me like this. He had never before spoken about these things to me; it was a subject we both avoided, but to know he felt protective like a brother made me feel good inside. "Thank you Edward. I appreciate that." And I meant what I said; I was grateful to know he had at least some type of feelings for me, and I could accept brotherly feelings from him. Maybe things were not as bad as they had looked these past few years, but my hope was that they would get much better.
Edward leaned over and kissed my forehead. "I'm here for you if you need me," he said, and with that, he got up and left.