Chapter 14
Taylor was sitting on her bed watching Court TV when she heard a knock on her door. "Come in," she stated, knowing it was Haley.
"Taylor can I talk to you," she replied closing the door behind her.
"Um, yeah. I guess. Unless you want to get straight to the fighting."
"Who says we're going to fight?"
"We always fight."
"This is true," Haley began, "so I guess I'll just cut to the chase. I know."
""Know what?"
"I know," Haley said, tears filling in her eyes, "about the baby."
Taylor gasped, the water she had just taken of sip of, getting caught in her throat. "You uh, what?"
"I know you had a baby with Chris Keller."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Tay, don't mess with me right now. And for once just give me the damn truth."
"Fine, you want to know the truth?"
"Yes," Haley said, keeping a stern look on her face.
"I did sleep with Chris Keller, and I did end up getting pregnant."
"But why. Why do it?"
"Because he was hot, and because I was selfish. Because we'd both been eyeing each other for a while and he called me to come over. Because he's shallow and arrogant and that's what I like. Because we were both looking for a good time, not love."
"But… but, he was in love with me," she said trying to keep her emotions down.
"He was, and then he fell out of lit. And you obviously didn't. But I mean, really Haley, guys like Chris Keller don't go around keeping a girlfriend by their side for long. You couldn't have thought you would be with him forever?" She stated, a tiny smirk overcoming her face.
"Of course not Taylor, but I also didn't think my sister would stoop so low as to sleep with him."
"Well then I guess you don't know me," Taylor stated, pushing Haley over the edge. She was no longer sad, she was mad; fuming even.
"But I do Taylor, I do. You're the same jealous bitch you've been our whole lives. You're the screw up of the James family, and I'm the youngest who's smart and has a lot of potential. You were never good at school, you were never good at sports, the only thing you were good at was sucking… at life among other things. You've wanted whatever I've had for as long as I can remember and I was for the last time, giving you the benefit of the doubt. You however, so kindly proved me wrong, and brought this whole predicament on yourself."
"Fuck you," Taylor exclaimed, the tears now streaming from her eyes. She was in a rage of both anger and sadness.
"No, it's okay, you do enough of that for the both of us. Which brings me to my next point, why the hell did you hide your pregnancy. You couldn't have thought you could hide it forever?" Haley said, mocking the phrase Taylor had said just moments before.
"Because I was trying to protect myself… and you."
"Don't you dare Taylor. Don't you dare even think of telling me you did this to protect me. If you wanted to protect me then you would have never slept with him in the first place. You would have acted like my sister my whole life, instead of someone who was always trying to get the one-up on me."
"Yeah well, I can't go back and change the past. I just figured if you never knew about the baby you'd eventually forget about all that and put it past you, clearly I was wrong."
"I did have it past me. Until my sister started acting like a whack job and wouldn't tell me where she was going, or even make up a viable excuse. So I had to follow you, to see where you were going. Imagine my surprise when I saw you were going to Chris Keller's house. And imagine even more of my surprise when I found you cuddling a baby."
"You weren't supposed to see any of that."
"Oops, too bad. Just like I wasn't supposed to see you with Chris, right? Funny how all this always ends up blowing up in your face. Maybe if you weren't so deceitful and actually told the truth instead of lying, karma wouldn't keep biting you in the ass."
"You're right Haley."
"I know… wait what?"
"I said you're right."
"But you never say I'm right."
"But I am now. I'm just so sick of this."
"Me too, but it's not going to change."
"I know. And that's my fault. I'm not going to lie to myself and tell myself I'm a trustworthy, wholesome person…" Taylor began.
"But you'll lie to us," Haley cut in.
"… because I know that I'm anything but. For some reason, I'm a bitch. I lie, I scheme, I do whatever it takes to get what I want. And I don't seem to care who I have to trample to get it. If only I'd used it to my advantage and worked in the business world, then I'd be all set. Instead I used those tactics in real life. Hurting people I love, and living a life that even I'm ashamed of."
"Taylor…"
"But I'm not going to do that anymore. I've finished college and I've shown Mrs. Keller I am capable of being a mother. That's why you've never known about the baby Haley, besides the fact that I didn't want you to know. When Mrs. Keller found out, and learned of the kind of life I lead she did not think I'd be a fit mother. She threatened to call the courts and get custody of my child and I didn't want that. So I made a deal with her. I'd finish college, show her I'm a fit mother, and then finally get to live a life with my child. Until then, I just go over almost everyday I visit, playing him, reading to him, just being like the mom I want to eventually be."
"It's a he," Haley said, now in a confused state of mind, unsure of how she should feel.
"Uh, yeah. His name is Harley Randall James. But I call him Lee for short."
"Harley?" Haley said, shock running through her mind as she registered all of this.
"Well, uh. Yes. I named him after his godmother…"
"Godmother?"
"I was eventually going to ask you to be his godmother Haley. Once you'd finally forgiven me and we could finally push this all under the bridge."
"Taylor you can't just say that," Haley said, more confused then ever.
"Say what?"
"You can't just after screwing me over, name you child after me, ask me to be his godmother and think all this is going to be over."
"I know Haley. I just thought…"
"It's never going to be over. I've forgiven Chris, and I've forgiven you. But I will never forget. This will never be water under the bridge. But with all that aside, I still want to be you child's godmother."
"You do?"
"Yes. Even though he's a reminder to me of all that's happened, I still do. I know I will never agree with you on any of your decisions, and I will never approve of most of the things you do, but I will approve of you trying to be a fit mother. Don't think I'm doing this to benefit you, because I still can't really stand to be near you since all this hasn't settled with me yet, I'm doing this to benefit Harley. He's going to need a role model, and you're going to need help."
"Thank you Haley. It's time like these that I see that big heart everyone talks about. The one I failed to have."
"Thanks Taylor, just don't screw this up. Because now, you're not just messing with your own life, or people who are mature enough to handle it, but your messing with a child's."
"I won't, I'm really trying."
"You better be," Haley said turning to open the door and leave.
"Oh, and Haley?"
"Yes."
"Have fun with Nathan," she said, giving her wink and causing Haley to stop dead in her tracks. She crept over toward where Taylor was sitting, getting close enough to whisper, this was not a conversation she wanted Nathan to hear.
"Wha-what?"
"I know he came over last night."
"So, we're just friends."
"Right…"
"Taylor, I'm being serious. Nathan and I are just friends," Haley replied, beginning to get frantic.
"Whatever you say, but I've seen the way you look at him."
"I do not look at him. What are you talking about?"
"Who's the liar now?"
"I'm not lying!"
"Fine, you're not lying. But you know when you were 'lying'? Last night in his arms, I peaked into your door after you guys fell asleep, and you guys were snuggled together."
"Taylor, I just asked him to come over to help me deal with all this crap!"
"Why him? Why not that GiGi girl?"
"Because…"
"Because why?"
"Just because…"
"Because WHY?"
"Because Nathan makes me feel safe, and he makes…" imy heart go aflutter whenever he's around/i, she continued in her head. "You know what, I don't have to tell you."
"You like him Haley, don't deny it."
"Whatever Taylor. I'm not in the mood for your games. Bye," she said storming out of the room past Nathan and into her own room.
"Whoah, so I'm guessing it didn't go so well?" Nathan stated once he reached Haley room, look at her body flopped across the bed.
"No, it actually went better than expected. Supposedly she's turning over a new leaf. She however, still has the power to play her little annoying mind games with me."
"Anything I can help you with?"
"Oh uh, no. Nope. Definitely not," Haley said nervously.
"Okay… so are you and Taylor on good terms now?"
"No, we're on tolerable terms. She explained to me about the baby, who by the way she named Harley, after me. And after some yelling and fighting I told her I'd support her trying to be a mother. But not to help her, because I'm in now shape to do that yet, but to help Harley. I don't want him to suffer because Taylor is incapable of stepping up."
"I'm proud of you Hales. I don't know if I could do that."
"Well, I'm a tough cookie. I've got to be, too much weird, random, and unfair crap happens to me. That's why I've made myself emotionally stronger and rely on myself."
"And I think that's great. But just know, that you don't always have to rely on yourself Hales. I will always be here for you," Nathan said, taking a seat on the edge of her bed next to Haley's laid out body.
"Oh god I was hoping you would say that," Haley said, as a sob that she'd been trying to hold back into her through chocked out.
"Haley?" Nathan said confused, because only moments before she had seemed fine, lifting her torso so it was now laying across his lap, her head cradled on one of his arms.
"I tried to be strong Nathan. I did. Through that whole thing I tried to keep my emotions back, but now, I can't hold it in anymore. I'm confused Nathan. Really confused. I have never ever felt my emotion go from like, so sad, to so mad, to so indifferent in a matter of five seconds," Haley said now bawling. "And now I look like a baby, but I have no idea how I should react to this all. I went in there to scream at Taylor, which I did. But then in the end I felt kind of bad for her. God, why do I have to be the only person in the James family who actually tends to care about other people? My parents run off, leaving me here with Taylor, the one sister I don't get along with, my other brothers and sisters are all scattered about doing there own thing, and here I am with my big heart feeling sorry and actually willing to help the one person who screwed me over big time! I don't get it."
"Shh… Hales, it's okay. You're allowed to be like this. You're allowed to cry, to break down, to be mad, to feel sorry," Nathan stated, brushed a piece of hair out of her face.
"I know, it's just. I don't know how to handle it all."
"Haley, you're a teenager. Do any of us know how to handle this all? Hell no. But that doesn't mean you can't show your emotions and then force yourself to store them in."
"I know. It's just always been me against the world…"
"… but now it can be us against the world," he cut in.
"You think so?" She replied, cuddling up to him more, liking the warmth of his arms.
"I know so."
"Well, that's good. Because I'm going to need a lot of help."
"And I'll be here to help you," he said, smirking down at her smiling face as she brought her hand up his cheek.
"And that Nathan Scott is why I love you," she began shocked by what she had said. "In like, a friendly way, of course."
"Of course," Nathan said feeling a pang of sadness, but a lot of happiness at the wild emotions he saw passing through her eyes. He knew what this was between them was more than friendship. He could feel it in their touch, in their interactions. He just had to wait until she was finally ready to fess up to her feelings.