Oh, wow, I really left this one hanging. I'd like to thank sulkdodds for telling me to get off my ass and finish the story. I'd been trying to do another chapter for a while now, but I lost the flow of it after the 2nd Renaissance chapter. Don't worry, it's back now.

Chapter 13

The Perigrine raced trough the tunnels with renewed vitality, having recharged and departed Zion but a single week earlier. The crew was also recharged after a period of warm food and warm beds, with the exception of one member. Nexus had become quiet again, distracted. During training her eyes took on a haunted quality that Medea didn't much like. Anyone who asked the girl what was wrong got little more than a sad smile and a shake of the head; all's well, nevermind, don't worry about me.

Yet today was a day that the depression induced by 1-12 would have to be pushed aside, Nexus mused as she pulled on her boots, half an hour before beginning her shift. Today would be her first real trip into the Matrix. The idea had made her feel almost giddy before, and her eyes still retained a glimmer of that sparkle from before. However, she did not know just how high the stakes were set before. Now she had somewhat of an idea. The lights overhead flickered as Nexus made her way down the hall to eat quickly before going in. She wouldn't be eating much- her stomach was in knots.

Half an hour later Nexus lowered herself into a broadcast chair, wariness and trepidation all but screaming on her features. A tap on her shoulder caused her to jump, whipping around so quickly that Koi jumped back in surprise.

"I was gonna ask how you were," Koi said in with a nervous laugh. "But I guess I don't have to." Nexus blushed and looked down the chair, moving to strap her feet down. "Sorry," she muttered. "Guess I'm just jumpy."

Koi nodded, smiling faintly. "First time in's always a little scary, no matter what you hear from people." She moved towards a chair, flopping casually into the seat. "We've noticed you've been a little down lately around here. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but me and Medea don't think it's just jitters. What's been up with you lately?"

Nexus shut her eyes at this and bowed her head slightly. Koi thought that she wasn't going to answer her for a moment, but the Nexus began to speak.

"In Zion…when I was getting a room assignment…we passed the archives, and I remembered that there was a file on the whole Neo thing down there, so the guys I was with showed it to me. After that…I asked, um," Nexus paused. She didn't want to get that guy in trouble for answering her question. Koi looked at her, concern etched across her face.

"I asked how this whole thing got started." Nexus raised her head and looked right at Koi now. "This war. And…I guess I got an answer. They showed me this file that answered an awful lot of questions, a lot of which I hadn't even thought of." Nexus tried a smile. "Things look awfully shitty when given a little context, I guess."

Koi stared at her for a moment, her mind racing. File? What file was there that had…"Oh, shit." Koi winced as she recalled a story she had heard in the academy about an uncensored account of how the war started, kept in the Archives for military access. Anyone training who was curious could access it, but it was classified as restricted to the general public. It had been dubbed as the 'Suicide File' because more than one person had dived from their level in the past after fully witnessing the power of those they fought.

File 1-12. From what she'd heard, Commander Locke had tried to upgrade it's status to "classified, as it deterred many potential candidates from pursuing work in defending the city and recruiting individuals in the Matrix, but the Council had deemed that people had a right to know how things had come to be the way they were if they wanted to. However, that didn't keep it from becoming taboo among the pod-born recruits.

Koi sighed. "I guess that explains the mood you've been in." Glancing back to check that everyone was still finishing their breakfasts, Koi leaned towards Nexus and spoke in a low, hurried tone. "Look: I haven't seen that thing myself, but I've heard it can mess people up. I'm guessing the high mortality rate makes a bit more sense now to you?" Nexus looked away at this and quickly nodded, biting her lip " Koi simply nodded. Thought so." Pausing a moment to think, Koi's next words startled Nexus in their familiarity. "You remember that story you told us about the cave? This exactly like that. The question you have to ask yourself is whether you can accept the risks that come with helping others discover the world outside that cave. Because in there," nodding her head towards the scrolling code of the screens, "there are a surprising number of people who aren't buying the story that they've been fed."

Nexus looked at Koi for a moment, face blank, absorbing what she had just been told. Just then Trans and Medea came out of the mess hall, heading over towards them. "You ready for this?" Medea asked tentatively of Nexus, wary of the delicate emotional state she had been in for the past several days.

Nexus broke eye contact with Koi to buckle her other boot into the chair. Looking over her shoulder at Medea, Nexus gave a cocky little grin that warmed the captain's heart. "Let's go."

Koi smiled broadly.