Chapter Six Missing and Heartbroken Part II
xxx means dreaming
Author Advise: You should listen to All American Rejects "Dance Inside" while reading this chapter.
"Good night Butler." he said, facing me and burying his face into my chest once more.
"Good night . . . Arty." I said, pecking his forehead and we both fell asleep together.
But I didn't have a good nights' rest. Instead, I felt this bubbly feeling while I felt his breath on my chest, sending all kind of weird feelings through my body. But the worst part was that I wouldn't get any sleep, and in the morning, if I'm not careful enough, he'll . . . he'll find out. That's what's really breaking my heart. The fact that he'll know, and throw me out of his life.
Images ran through my mind of seeing his upmost horror, dropping his food in his plate or spilling the juice he was drinking . . . hearing him scream and yell, the Fowl Manor in chaos. My inner theater built up the to the climax, and every time I passed by it, my heart would crush and my feelings open again like bleeding wounds. Every time I saw that anger, every time I saw that madness, would freshen my heart to the pain, to the sorrow, and in the end, each time, I would see myself, lying on the floor crying, or out in the rain, or even killing myself. Neither of these options, or any other options that would lead to heart break was on my mind, so why was telling him the truth all I was thinking about?
Will Artemis ever leave my mind tonight?
I mourned silently as I turned to my other side, only to have him cling to my back, sighing and breathing my name out. Oh why do I need to go through this? Why must he do this too me? Do I deserve this, for living out a sin? For choosing my way of finding love? Does it even matter? Well, it shouldn't.
I mean, it's not like I hated the feeling of him breathing on my nape, sending shivers down my spine, and causing goose bumps to rise. Actually, if the situation was different, the feeling would've placed me at ease. So, facing my fears, I resolved to make Artemis love me once and for all, though the path might be slow and might have a downside, I think he'll be like his father and welcome me with open arms, even though he might not share the same depositions for me.
I turned around to face Artemis again, trying to go to sleep. That's when things got worst.
Artemis tossed around in his sleep until within a few seconds, he settled down. With his arms around my neck.
My heart skipped two beats, my mind forgetting about the resolution.
"Dad . . ." Artemis moaned, breathing deeply into my chest.
Oh . . .
My . . .
God . . .
I'm in shit.
"Dad?" Artemis asked, waking up to see me heated and sweating.
"You had a nightmare?" he asked me innocently, drawing circles on my chest.
"No Artemis, just, go back to sleep." I stated, tired and weary. My stomach once again had butterflies, my emotions getting a little bit out of hand, but it felt mice and placed me at ease for a moment. Settling down, my skin adjusted to his touch and warmth rolled over me like a fog.
"Oh, okay dad, good night." he said and closed his eyes, inhaling silently on my neck.
After a moment of silence, his eyes opened again, staring into mine. Heavy blue eyes reflected against the surface. "Can I tell you something?" he asked me a minute later of staring.
"Sure." I said , Artemis still drawing his circles.
"Do you think father is okay?"
"I'm sure he's fine, Don't worry. Your father's really strong, I'm sure he's okay." I responded.
"I hope so too. Hey, Butler?"
"Hmm?" I asked, becoming more at ease with him, my inner emotions dissolving sweetly.
"Could you, um, I don't know . . ." he said while avoiding my face. It was too dark to see it, but I managed to make out a huge patch of red on both of his cheeks.
"Could I what?" I asked him, curiosity getting the better of me.
"Could you rub my back until I fall asleep?" he asked me.
"Sure." I responded, while he shifted around until he was on his side and freeing his body of the bed sheets.
I placed one strong hand firmly on his shoulder, the other one ruffling his hair a bit. His body was now on my chest, breathing into my clothes.
My hand glided down on his spine, and stopped around the middle of his back, returning the circular motions that he had given me on my stomach, except with more reassuring hands than small, playful ones. After a while, his breathing was slow but regular until he fell fast asleep.
I collapsed on the bed, my back lying down, and falling into a peaceful abyss.