Thanks for the review Isis Von Ishtar! Hey, anybody else reading this? Anybody? Nah, no pressure. If you'd like to comment you're more than welcome though.

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The next thing she knew was also pain. Pain was good, Jane thought. At least she knew she hadn't killed herself yet with her own stupid vanity. She was also extremely cold. She wondered if she'd broken her ankle. She figured her ankle would hurt a lot more than it did if it were broken. Then she decided that as much as her head hurt she probably wouldn't feel her ankle at all unless there was a bone sticking out of it. Her head felt like it was split clean down the middle like a honeydew melon. She raised her hand to her head to check. Nope, no thanks to her, her head was still in one piece. There was a bump the size of a walnut at her hairline though. Now, that had to be a thousand times more attractive than just having hairy legs.

With quite a bit of effort, Jane opened her eyes and looked at her fingers. At least she didn't seem to be bleeding from a scalp wound. She was also relieved that wherever she was now, was dimly lit because her head- but wait! Why was she on a cold stone floor? Why were the walls stone? Where the hell was she? Was she in Nassau? If she was, why was she still naked and wet? When she sat up her vision blurred. The world started to spin. She knew she'd never have to stick her head in a giant blender to imagine what that would feel like. She felt weak and very stiff. Suddenly her eyes began to focus again. Hey look at that! There was a bone jutting right through her skin! Must be one of hers too. Not at all likely there were stray bones around for her to impale in her ankle. Splendid! No need for her to worry now whether it was broken or not. She wondered if she could crawl to somewhere, or if she would just fall down again hard and finish the job she had started on her head. Instead of crawling to see if she could, which she thought was probably the dumbest thing she hadn't yet managed to do to herself today, she shifted so that she could lean up against the stone wall and hopefully figure out in which direction she would need to crawl when she finally decided that it was time to prove to herself that there really was no end to her idiocy.

Holy shit. The place looked like some kind of fort! There were actual wall torches! Though she did not hear him approach, suddenly a priest walked into her view. Apparently she really startled him. He looked positively pained when his eyes flicked over her nudeness. She figured she really should try to cover herself, out of respect for the clergy, men of the cloth, vows of celibacy, God himself and all that. She definitely should attempt to close her legs at the very least. Of course it would be easier for her to throw an arm across her breasts. Maybe just a token of shame would do, like lowering her eyes instead of just staring right at him. Nope. Apparently at this very low point in her life, she just couldn't give a shit. The handbasket for Hell was leaving and she'd won two free tickets care of her favorite morning radio station. Woohoo! Jane felt positively giddy! Can one be giddy with pain? Maybe she wasn't injured at all. Maybe she was just drunk- except she didn't drink and that really was a bone sticking out of her ankle. But, oh by the way, "Who are you?" Talking set off a series of incredibly painful explosions inside her head otherwise known as syllables. She didn't feel giddy anymore which kind of sucked. There was no help for that. She needed to talk. It was better than ignoring a priest and trying to crawl.

"I believe that is more correctly my question. How did you get in here?"

"Where am I?"

"This is- a school. Were you attacked?"

"Nope. I did all this to myself. Who knew shaving on a cruise ship was so dangerous?"

"Shaving?"

"I'm nude."

"I had noticed."

"Well, can I have your- what do you call that thing- cassock?"

"No. Here."

He reached into his clothes and pulled out a white handkerchief. He tossed it to her. It sailed down and fell across her left thigh. To be fair to the priest, it was clean and large for a handkerchief, more like the size of a large cloth dinner napkin but not so large to dress or warm her in any meaningful way. Just maybe if he had given her two of them, she could have tied one like a bikini top and the other around her hips like a diaper or a loin cloth.

"Just how am I supposed to wear this?"

"That is not my problem."

She draped the handkerchief so that one point covered her panty parts and one point fell just under her chin. The material between covered both her breasts. There! She was decent now, sort of, so long as she didn't move. Not that she felt like moving a muscle or that he hadn't had plenty of time to survey the scenery.

"Thanks. I guess I'll just stay right here like this now."

"You can not remain in this hallway!"

"Look- what's your name?"

"My name is irrelevant to your current situation."

Now there's an original name! I'll bet he got teased in school too. "What shall I call you? Hey you?"

"You may call me Professor."

Great. She'd hit her head and dreamed herself into her Harry Potter book. If she didn't hurt so much she might have laughed at the idea. Nothing seemed funny now; though everything seemed ironic. Maybe she could give him a laugh. He certainly looked like he could use one.

"Professor Snape, I presume?"

The change in the man was noteworthy even in her state and may have been frightening, had she not passed caring about, well, about most things really. He did look furious and moved abruptly closer to her. This man had a powerful body. Somehow his clothes had hidden that fact until now.

"It was a joke. I didn't mean that as an insult."

"How do you know my name?"

tbc-