Thank you to discontinued me for the lovely review! I'm so happy this is not the very worst thing you've read! This chapter is just a bit longer for you.
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Jane couldn't tell whether Pomfrey believed her or even if she understood what Jane was trying to tell her. Jane's mind just blanked out of the conversation after that. She wondered vaguely if it had been something Pomfrey had done, or if her mind just didn't care to cope with this level of strangeness anymore. When she caught herself actively thinking again, she was thinking about Severus Snape. It was odd. She didn't know him at all, of course, except from the books. Still, it was hard for her to imagine the man who had carried her to the infirmary killing Albus Dumbledore, not that she'd met Dumbledore, not yet. In fact, it was hard for her to reconcile this Snape, the one who had carried her, with Snape the fictional character.
First of all, why do the books harp on and on endlessly about how ugly he is? Fine, he's not Orlando Bloom. We get it. Then again Orlando had never been her type. It wasn't a stretch to describe Severus as striking or sexy, even. He was tall, dark, intense, and was certainly in great shape. How old was he supposed to be? About forty? Most of the guys she met in their twenties didn't look half as good to her as he did.
She thought about the descriptions from the books- greasy, big-nosed- what was all that about? Some kind of a racial slur? Jane had always HATED that sort of thing, probably because she had been on the receiving end of similar small-minded racist insults. She remembered the way his black eyes had flashed, the blue-black sheen to his hair, his strong facial structure. Snape looked like he well may have some Italian or Arab in him, but so what? The ethnicity or appearance of other characters in the books never seemed an important issue. Why was it with Snape then? Because Harry didn't like him?
Then again Harry was young and male. Perhaps that was the problem. After all, there is no objective voice in the Harry Potter novels. It is part of the appeal- viewing a magical world from a young person's perspective. Even the remote narrative seems to ring true to what Harry would think if he were there.
Truthfully, Jane had never given the books this much deep thought before. Since she picked up the first book in a grocery store curious to find out what all the fuss was about, the most magical aspect of Rowling universe, the pure escapism, had sucked her in. She had read all the rest whenever she noticed that another had made it to paperback. She had enjoyed all of them. She never re-read them though. She never discussed or dissected them. She had never until today, truly considered the characters or the world that they inhabited. Now, she wished she had memorized every single word. Some advice her father had given her once again came back to haunt her: never take anything for granted since you never know what might become important.
"Madame Pomfrey?"
"Please. Call me Poppy."
"Why is Professor Snape considered ugly?"
A smile suddenly appeared just at the corners of her mouth. "I take it that you do not find him so?"
"Far from it."
"Perhaps your opinion is the only one that matters."
"What an interesting way to avoid answering a question."
"I wasn't sorted into Slytherin for nothing, dear."
"You're a Slytherin? That never made it into the books. I'm sure I would have remembered reading that."
"Well, I'm not surprised. It is now a very little known fact since I graduated so very long ago. Probably a good thing too. Couldn't have the Gryffindors afraid of letting me treat them."
Jane wondered just how old this woman was. She'd have guessed fifty-something. Being that she was a witch, she could be ancient. Jane would be none the wiser. Jane was not going to asked her either. The only person entitled to know a woman's age-
"How old are you, Jane?"
-was her doctor or in this case her mediwitch. "How old do I look?"
"I don't know. It's not as if I meet so very many Muggles that I am able to guess. I was hoping you would tell me."
"Twenty nine and have been for the last twenty years. Just kidding. I'm twenty nine."
"Severus is seven years older than you. He'll outlive you too, provided he doesn't die by violence, which is a possibility for anyone. I've finished examining your injuries. Next I'll heal you. I warn you, if you decide that you don't want to sleep through that part, you may experience some pain."
"This may be my one and only chance to ever see magic. I want to see that, Poppy, even if I won't remember it later. What will you do with me? Obliviate me and leave me by the side of the road somewhere? Would you do me a favor first? Will you find me some clothes, before you do that?"
"Why do you think that we will Obliviate you?"
"Because I've read the books. The Ministry has wizards who do nothing else. Right?"
"You should also remember that you are not at the Ministry of Magic. You are here at Hogwarts. We hold ourselves to a higher standard than many other Wizarding institutions."
"Does that mean you won't Obliviate me?"
"I will do nothing to you, Jane, except to mend your broken bone and heal your other injuries."
"I hope you are as skilled at healing as you are at the art of evasion, Poppy."
"You judge. How do you feel?"
Suddenly Jane realized that her head didn't hurt anymore. She could flex her ankle without pain, too. She hopped out of bed onto it.
"You are a sneak! I completely missed the magic. You healed my head, too. I didn't feel a thing. You knew I wouldn't! Oh. Should I be walking around on my ankle this soon?"
"Did I stop you? Accio slippers and pajamas, two pair." Jane watched in absolute delight as what Poppy requested flew off a shelf across the room into her hands. At her instruction, Jane put a pair of pajamas on. Poppy transfigured them into a black bra and underwear. She put another pair on, that became a long black skirt and a black silky blouse. The slippers turned into sensible black flats."There now, even Severus can't fine fault with black. Perhaps you should return his handkerchief, dear."
Jane twirled then felt a bit silly for doing it. Pomfrey didn't seem to mind. "I feel like Cinderella! Wow, I'd love to go shopping with you. That was- magical! Thank you, Poppy."
"You are quite welcome. Will you have trouble finding your way back to the dungeons?"
"I was planning on asking portraits."
"My, you are clever. The portraits will see you don't get lost."
"I'm really very glad to have made your aquaintance. In fact, if I had it to do over, I'd break my ankle again just to meet you. Thank you for doing the first and probably the only magic I'll ever see. I hope I'll get to see you again, whatever Albus decides to do with me."
"I look forward to it, Jane. Good luck to you, dear."
Jane turned and waved as she exited the infirmary and walked right into Severus Snape.
"Hello again. I was just coming down to the dungeons to see you."
"May I ask why?"
"To thank you for helping me and to return your handkerchief. I also wanted to talk again now that my head is clear." Jane held out the handkerchief.
"Keep it."
"Thank you! Poppy made me Cinderella. Now I'm Desdemona!"
"Your new identity does not bode well for you."
"True, but I can't think of anyone else who was given a handkerchief."
"What did you wish to speak to me about?"
"Could we go somewhere? Sit and talk?"
"You look recovered enough to stand."
"Do you have something against sitting, Professor Snape?"
"No, I have something against you, Miss Watts."
"Oh. Is that why you don't want your handkerchief back?"
"I will never miss it."
"Would you like to share what you hold against me?"
"How did you know my name, about Potter, McGonagall, Pomfrey, Hogwarts, and Obliviation?"
"Because I've read about Harry Potter and Hogwarts."
"Read? In a newspaper?"
"A series of books written by J.K. Rowling. The first book was called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It was the story of Harry's first year here. The second was his second year at Hogwarts and so on. They are children's books. Adults read them too because the books are clever."
"You claim to know what has happened at Hogwarts since Potter's first year?"
"Not at all. I did read books about those years. I have no idea how accurate the books are, or even how much I remember about them."
"The last book you read covers Potter's fourth year?"
"No, his sixth year. The seventh book is the only one I haven't read. That one hasn't been published yet."
"You are suggesting that you know the future?"
"I'm suggesting that may be a possibility, yes."
"Because you have read books written by a Muggle?"
"I don't know. She might be a Witch for all I know."
"She?"
"Yes, J.K. Rowling is a woman."
"You do realize that I can check this information?"
"That's fine. I've told you the truth."
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"You told me that your name is Jane Watts?"
"Yes?"
"Middle name?
"Elizabeth."
"Age?"
What was it? No one ever asks her age. Now twice in one day, just minutes apart?
"Twenty nine."
"Date?"
"I'd love to!"
He was giving her the look again. This time his brow wrinkled. "I meant your birth date."
"I know. It's January 9th."
There was that look again. This time she had no idea why. Maybe he was reconsidering their date.
"Are you reconsidering our date? It doesn't have to be fancy."
"Born where?"
"Cocoa Beach, Florida, USA."
"I do know where Florida is located."
"See? We have so much in common!"
"Parents?"
"Deceased."
"Their names?"
"John William Watts and Marilyn Conrad Watts.
"Nee Conrad?"
"Five points to Slytherin!"
Now he just looked annoyed.
"Her full maiden name?"
"Marilyn Conrad. She didn't have a middle name as far as I know. That was all that was on her birth certificate. Please don't ask for their social security numbers. I can barely remember my own. Oh my God!" Jane clapped her hands to her cheeks.
"The reason for your religious crisis?"
"I just realized that my passport's in Nassau! If I'm even that lucky! Oh no! They'll think I've fallen overboard!"
"Any of this matters?"
"Yes! They could have notified my sister that I'm dead! I have to call her. I don't suppose you have a cell phone that I can borrow?"
"No."
"Do you have a cell phone that I can't borrow?"
"No. What is your sister's full name?"
"Pamela Anne Watts. She's in Aspen with her boyfriend. Her cell phone number is-"
"Miss Watts, I do not care."
"Oh."
"Miss Watts-"
"You've seen me naked. You've touched my naked body. In fact you carried my naked body over a considerable distance. You helped me when I really needed help. Any way you slice that pizza, you get to call me Jane."
"Miss Watts, the Headmaster should return shortly. If you give him the appropriate information, I'm certain he will find some way to contact your sister."
"Thank you! I don't suppose-"
"Yes?"
"Oh nothing. Did you have more questions?"
"I have sufficient information to begin my investigation of you."
"I could write it all down for you."
"That is unnecessary."
"Are you sure you remember all of it?"
"Yes."
"What's my sister's middle name?"
"No Watts is your sister's last name. Her middle name is Anne."
"That's what I've always liked about you- well, about your character from the books. I've always enjoyed your sense of humor. I don't suppose-"
"That is the second time you have started that sentence."
"Yes. I've taken enough of your time though. Thanks again for saving me and for the gift of your handkerchief even though you don't want it anymore."
"Where do you imagine you are going?"
"I figured I'd give myself a tour of Hogwarts."
"You may not wander!"
"Why not?"
"Because I just told you that you -may- not."
"Fair enough. I don't suppose- that you'd like to give me a tour?"
"Five points to Cocoa Beach, Florida."
"What do you suggest that I do?"
"Do? Why do you have to -do- anything?"
"All right. While I'm doing nothing, do you want me to stand right here on this exact spot?"
"In a hallway? Outside of the infirmary? Certainly not. Follow me."
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Thank you for reading. All comments are most welcome.
tbc-