It Takes a Phantom - A parody of It Takes a Woman from Hello, Dolly.
Andre and Firmin are in there office reading letters of complaint from different people, when Andre begins to sing:
It takes a phantom
The mask and all
To joyously wreck our Masquerade Ball.
And it takes a devil
With a distorted face
And a horrible smile
For destroying the place!
Yes, it takes a phantom.
An evil phantom.
The devil who began this strife!
Andre and Firmin, getting up and dancing: Oh yes, it takes a phantom.
A psycho phantom.
To bring you the bad things in life!
Andre: A demanding phantom
Who's constantly there
For giving us orders
And giving a scare.
And it takes a phantom
For hanging a few men
And stealing our horses
And stealing my new pen!
(Spoken): My poor pen.
Both: Yes, it takes a phantom.
An evil phantom.
The devil who began this strife!
Oh yes, it takes a phantom.
A psycho phantom
To bring you the bad things in life!
And so he'll haunt us 'til infinity.
Three boos for revenge-inity!
We hate revenge-inity!
Andre, spoken: Is that even a word?
Firmin, spoken: Of course not!
(Sung) And every month, he'll demand our francs!
And put them in his own little bank!
He's a curse on us two,
'Cause practically speaking
For whom do we blame when the plumbing is leaking?
Both: Blame that evil phantom.
That psycho phantom.
That devil who began this strife!
This horrible strife!
Oh yes, it takes a phantom.
Andre: A psycho phantom.
Both: To bring you the bad things in liiiiiiiiife!
Oh yes, it takes a phantom.
An evil phantom.
That devil who began this strife!
Oh yes, it takes a phantom.
A psycho phantom
To bring you the bad things in liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!
A/N: Thank you, Zelda,AngelicFlutist, and all the others who reviewed.