A/N: Thanks to Andrew Laplante for this idea. For the time being, I have more requests than I know what to do with, so no more requests for the time being, please, especially because I'll be going back to school wicked soon, and I won't have as much time to do parodies. I also have another fanfic in progress, so I might not update for long stretches of time in a little bit.
I Am the Very Model of a Phantom of the Opera - A parody of I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General from The Pirates of Penzance
Erik is up on the stage of the opera, explaining:
I am the very model of a phantom of the opera.
I've information on every opera they've ever done.
I know it sounds quite strange, but I have won many battles with a lasso.
I've won every single one, well, excluding the last one.
I'm very good at creating new music for Christine to sing.
I've murdered a man named Buquet with only a large piece of string!
About Don Juan Triumphant I am teeming with a lot of news.
(Pause)
With many cheerful facts about the sixteenth notes that I put in!
Chorus: With many cheerful facts about the sixteenth notes that he put in!
With many cheerful facts about the sixteenth notes that he put in!
With many cheerful facts about the sixteenth notes that he-he-he put in!
Erik: I'm very good at memorizing pieces by Mozart and Brahms.
And though it's awkward, I know every flavor that is of lip balm!
In ev'ry theory ever made
Even those hidden in shade
I am the very model of a phantom of the opera!
Chorus: In ev'ry theory ever made
Even those hidden in shade
He is the very model of a phantom of the opera!
Erik: I know the op'ra's history.
I've read about it all my life.
I know about the construction
And some of the worker's strife.
According to one book, the lake was put here by mistake.
According to another it's a myth and it's only fake.
I can tell them what is right and what is obviously wrong.
I can tell it to them plain or sing it in a quite long song.
Afterward they fall asleep then tell me what a bore it can be.
(Pause)
And then I take off my mask and they all shrink in fear of me!
Chorus: And then I take off my mask and they all shrink in fear of me!
And then I take off my mask and they all shrink in fear of me!
And then I take off my mask and they all shrink in fear-fear-fear of me!
Erik: Then I can sing a water bill in a high octave or lower one.
It just goes to show that living here is really fun!
In ev'ry theory ever made
Even those hidden by shade
I am the very model of a phantom of the opera.
Chorus: In ev'ry theory ever made
Even those hidden by shade
He is the very model of a phantom of the opera!
Erik: In seconds I can tell you which actor is who from who
And wether to applaud or to rudely yell a loud, "Boo!"
At sight I know Carlotta from Meg, Giry's daughter
And Christine, 'cause you see, I'm the one that taught her.
And I have learned what progress can be made with just a lone organ.
I can memorize a song so fast, oh yes, you bet your life I can!
In short, I have great knowledge of music throughout the ages.
Ages? Nages, gages, dages. Now I have it!
You'll say a better phantom won't compose so many great pages!
Chorus: You'll say a better phantom won't compose so many great pages!
You'll say a better phantom won't compose so many great pages!
You'll say a better phantom won't compose so many great-great-great pages!
Erik: Though my talent and my knowledge is such a wonderful gift
Some of the things people say are only but some simple myths.
In every theory ever made
Even those hidden by shade
I am the very model of a phantom of the opera!
Chorus: In every theory ever made
Even those hidden by shade
He is the very model of a phantom of the opera.