A/N: Just thought I'd make a clarification about what has and has not happened in this scenario of mine. Season 4 has happened, as has been referred to also. Season 6 however, has not happened, and the last time Jess and Rory saw each other was in the dorm room. Just so you know.

Warning for some curse words in this chapter, if any of you don't wanna read that – don't read this.

Chapter Four

The perfect moment. Something you spend so long dreaming about that when it one day comes along you know it can't possibly be anything like you've imagined. But this had been. This had been precisely everything he had wanted. It was just that, at the same time, it had been exactly what he hadn't wanted, ever, for any of them.

Fuck. This was really bad. He had no idea how to get himself out of this damn mess he had created for himself. Or, rather, the mess they had created – for both of them. Shit. This wasn't anything like Sookie's wedding; an innocent peck on the lips and a runaway. Sure, that kiss had contained all the built-up passion that her virgin seventeen year-old form could hold, and it had caused chaos inside both of them, for months. Still, this was different and much, much worse. He still couldn't grasp the fact that she was married now, married. Like together forever, in sickness and in health, til death do you part, amen. And she wasn't even in love with the damn guy? Jesus, this was just all too wrong.

The couch never seemed to get comfortable under his shifting body and Jess muttered to it, annoyed. He was being broody here, and he had his reasons for it, so the damn couch should just let him do what he needed to do.

He hadn't bothered to turn on the lights as he had entered the apartment that afternoon. Now it was dusk, and the room was gloomy and filling up with shadows. The darkness didn't disturb him; it was fitting nicely with his mood. As was the pouring rain, dripping and running down his windows, creating a noise that could have been soothing, but wasn't. However, wild storms with thunder roaring and lightning exploding would have been even better. Just rain was a little lame, but it had to do, and it was definitely better than sunshine, even though it was not entirely satisfying.

He sighed, giving up on getting even the slightest bit relaxed, resigning to a very intense stare session with the roof, which was staring back at him, dully, echoing with footsteps from the floor above. He tried not to listen, but when that didn't work he decided to completely focus on the sounds, in the foolish impression that this would take his mind off everything else (her). As said, it was very foolish.

And then his phone rang.

She was still sitting at the café. The tears had dried away by now, but this made nothing better. She still looked a mess and radiated broken. She hated all the pitiful looks people offered her, it was worse than any glare or stare. Pity was the last thing she wanted, reminding her of how pathetic the situation she had ended up in was (well, really how pathetic she was, but she hadn't gone as far as admitting that to herself yet).

Suddenly something struck her memory, and panic shone from her eyes. She checked her watch and swore to herself, grasping with the phone in her purse, dialling rapidly as she cleared her throat from any signs of crying.

"Mr Huntzberger's office, how may I help you?" asked his secretary politely, but Rory could feel the coldness of her voice shooting through the lines and right into her spine.

"Um, I just need to speak to Logan," she said hurriedly. "I'm his wife," she added at the secretary's silence that screamed disapproval of her lack of formality. At the mention of this, she softened, just a bit.

"Alright, I'll pass him on to you." Still that cold tone. God, this woman always freaked her out. Childishly, she didn't say 'thanks', she just waited for Logan's voice, knowing there was no way possible for this woman to dislike her more than she already did.

"Logan Huntzberger here," came his confident response, sounding so important. She guessed he hadn't been informed of who he was speaking to.

"Hi Logan, it's me," she said, assuming he'd know who she meant (hoping he'd know).

"Hey Ace, what's up?" He recognized her voice. She hated his nickname of her, she had from the start. Over the years, she had just waited for him to get sick of it, maybe switch over to something that showed a bit more tenderness, but apparently, it still sufficed.

"Well, I was wondering if you could pick up Shira at day-care today," she said unsurely.

"Weren't you supposed to-?" he started, confusedly. She interrupted him.

"I know, but it turns out I can't, and it would be really great if-" she tried.

"Why can't you do it?" His voice was a little harsh and she flinched. It was almost like he was sensing that her reasons weren't legitimate, which he couldn't be. However, she had no right to be upset with his inconsiderate attitude when she was lying to him completely.

"Um – I got stuck at work, and she's supposed to be picked up already. Please," she added as a plea, hoping it would get to him. Seemingly, it didn't affect him at all.

"Oh. Well, Ace, you should've told me sooner, I'm sorry, but it's just impossible for me to get away right now. You're just gonna have to go anyway."

"But – what about my job?" she blurted out.

"What?"

"Why does it always have to be your job over my job?" she continued, getting worked up. She knew it wasn't fair right now, but it had been fair so many times when she had just kept her mouth shut like the nicest little girl and now this made her nauseous.

"Well, you know, I do make the most money and –" he pointed out.

Click. She didn't let him finish. She slammed her phone shut, rushing out the door in a fury she should have let herself feel a long time ago.

Later that night, she sunk down on the bed, exhausted from the exertion of having to play mommy and pretend everything was okay for hours. It had taken all the energy she had had left in her to keep the rice she had been cooking free of tears. Keeping the smile plastered on while getting judgmental looks from all the ladies at Shira's day-care had not been very pleasant either. She was so tired, and she just wanted to sleep now that Shira had finally been tucked in. She knew she wouldn't though, not while she was this preoccupied. She sighed, turning over, stubbornly refusing to give in to the only option that her mind just wouldn't let go of. Logan wasn't home yet, and she was getting more and more desperate to talk to someone (though that someone wasn't really Logan).

Half an hour later, all her willpower had been worn out and her pride didn't matter anymore. Hands trembling, she picked up the phone from its receiver.

"Luke's Diner," the familiar voice answered, and she was hit by a nostalgia that scented both childhood and high school romances.

"Hi Luke," she said, her voice shaking a lot more than it should be doing.

"Rory?" Apparently he also recognized her voice.

"Yeah, it's me," she confirmed. "Look, I know you're probably busy, and I don't wanna interrupt-" She was on her way of chickening out and she hated herself even more for this than she already did for doing this in the first place.

"Nah, it's okay. Kirk's here," he added.

"Enough said," she said, supposed to be smiling, but only feeling sad at the reminder of the small town life that she had left behind.

"So… you okay and everything?" he asked, being Luke, not handling the small talk very well.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she assured, way too quickly and lightly, but she knew he wouldn't inquire about it. Instead she continued, a bit nervously now that she was getting to the hard part. "You're probably wondering why I'm calling you, and the reason is…", she hesitated, "- do you have Jess's number?"

The other end grew very quiet, obviously not expecting this after all the years that had passed with no contact whatsoever between the two of them, while they had both been acting like they had never even happened. She felt the need to explain herself, but she didn't know how.

"Please, just, don't read anything into this. I just really need to speak to him," she pleaded.

"Is – is something wrong?" he asked, tone worried.

"No, no, not at all. I just – please? Do you have it?"

He sighed. "Yeah, I have it. Hold on a minute, I'll go get it."

"Thanks, Luke, really," she said sincerely.

"Anytime," he muttered, and she could hear his confusion. However, he didn't ask, and right now she loved him for that.

It was mid-night and Logan had still not come home. She wondered of it, but she didn't mind. She was just tired now and that was why she was doing this, she told herself – to get some peace of mind and be able to fall asleep. The note was clutched in her hand, wrinkly from being crumpled over and over every time she had recalled what a bad idea this was. Every time though, she had stopped herself right before tearing it apart and here it was, whole and readable. With her left index finger she stroke the numbers carefully, as if they were a baby's cheek, slowly caressing the papery shell that contained so much more than it seemed by its appearance. Who knew just a few random numbers could be so powerful and enchanting that she could just stare at them for hours and not get at all bored? Nope, the chill still went through her body every time she read them, knowing to whom they led and what would come of her getting the guts to dial them all in a row. So far, she had only gotten as far as to the third number before hanging up.

But, now, she felt it was time. She knew it, she just knew that she would go through with it this time, just as the clock turned to 00:01. It was time, both for her to sleep and to make the call. She wouldn't be able to sleep until she called, and that was for sure. Therefore, she did, this time not just trembling but physically shaking as she was overwhelmed by the sudden lump in her throat that she had to push down forcefully to be able to do this. She knew this was her only chance; she would never be able to go through this again.

"Jess Mariano," his voice came, shocking her by being so close to her ear and sounding so much like him. She didn't know what she had expected, but this was more. That was why her voice was gone even though she had thought herself ready and that was why silent tears suddenly was running down her cheeks as she whispered a barely audible response along with a way too loud exhale. "Hi. It's me."

He heard her, breath catching in his throat.

A/N: As always, reviews are what I live of, and what makes me up-date. I love them and appreciate every single one of them. Constructive criticism is always very welcome, as is any comments you have in mind after reading. Just tell me what you think!