Title: A Whitelighter's Priority

Author: rachelAbendstern

Summary: Piper finds out she's pregnant. And you should probably read the 10th chapter again, at least the end because I added a whole new paragraph...

Spoilers: Season 6 Charmed; I forgot to mention BtVS last chapter, 'The Gift'

Disclaimer: Neither Buffy nor Charmed is mine, and I don't make any money with it. Lily though belongs to me XP

11. Listen to your heart

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feelings are belonging to your dreams.

Piper sat on the edge of the bathtub in her bathroom, elbows on her knees and head in hands while trying to suppress the shaking of her body.

Heaven's above, this was not happening! This couldn't be happening to her!

She had thought she and Leo had reached some sort of understanding during the past months; had thought she was finally moving on and getting her life back under control. And then she had gone and did the most stupid thing she could think of and slept with her ex-husband again! The witch didn't know what the hell had gotten into her to pull a stunt like that! True, she had been jealous, they both had been – without reason no less – but that wasn't enough of a reason for them to, to...

Worse even, after that she had gotten her hopes up that maybe, this time they could make it work even though Leo still was an Elder and had responsibilities up there when he had come to tell her that his fellow stick-in-the-ass Elders virtually forbade his visits on earth because he was endangering them all by spending time with his family, his own freaking family! God help her, if she had had the power, she would have gone up there to Elderland and forcibly shaken some sense into those self-righteous, arrogant, patronising old bastards! Leo belonged down here, to her, to his son, to her sisters, hell even to their infuriating Whitelighter, if only to keep Chris in line!

Piper had thought she was over these feelings of anger and pain, had thought she could be happy for Leo, but this whole situation had opened the old wound again. She was happy for him; she just didn't understand why he, why they couldn't have both. Why was Leo's staying on earth endangering the other Elders? What did they do up there anyway that demanded their presence twenty-four seven?

The slowly fading anger gave way to weariness. Sighing resignedly, she looked once again on the little stick she was clutching in her right hand.

And now this. A month after their last night, she found out that she was pregnant once again. The woman would be a single mother to not only one but two magical children.

Someone up there really had to have a grudge against her.

666

She loved her sister. She really did. She could even understand her anger and frustration. But right now, Piper was grating on her last nerves.

Phoebe heavily leaned her hands on the kitchen table and lowered her head in order to take a deep breath to keep from strangling the older Halliwell who just went up into the attic. Looking up again she caught sight of Chris who was helping Paige with a newly discovered healing potion. Well, it seemed like she was not the only one who was fed up with Piper's complaints of how unfair the world was and that that night with Leo had been a horrible mistake. The young Whitelighter wore a strained expression and seemed to rather be anywhere else but here in this room with his charges.

"You knew Piper was gonna get pregnant again, didn't you?" She asked the young man with the barest hint of accusation in her tone. Startled, Chris looked up at her, halting his hand over the small cauldron until Paige slapped him lightly and he let go of the rosemary he was holding. "I mean, you didn't even try to act surprised when you found out."

Her Whitelighter sighed tiredly, answering: "I couldn't tell you, Phoebe. Besides, I wasn't even sure if I haven't already changed too much for that to actually happen."

"Fair enough, I guess."

Casting her a surprised glance, the young man continued to chop the herbs Paige was handing him. Since her father's departure, Phoebe had taken the man's advice and given Chris the benefit of the doubt at least. If his future had been what her father believed it had been she supposed she could understand his reluctance to open up to them. That didn't mean she had to like his secretiveness however. So, she would be biding her time until he slipped...

"You know, I'm actually looking forward to another baby in this house," Paige informed them suddenly, a smile lighting up her face. "I mean, remember how adorable Wyatt looked when he was so small? He still is adorable, mind you, but he has gotten so big! And now Wyatt will have someone to play with..."

Frantically shaking her head and waving her hands for Paige to stop, Phoebe tried to silence the younger witch when she heard Piper's footsteps approaching them again. She agreed with Paige whole-heartedly but she really didn't want Piper to start another rant.

"You would say that!" Too late. "I mean, you don't have to carry it around for nine month. No, I have to endure morning sickness all over again, my back will ache, I will have swollen feet and god! This time Leo won't be there at all!" So this was what all this was about, Phoebe understood suddenly. Her sister wanted Leo to be there if she was going to have another child but at the same time didn't want to force him to give up on his calling.

"It was all a mistake, it should never have happened! I mean, how am I supposed to take care of two magical children on my own? I cannot handle this!"

"But you're not alone, sweetie!" Paige tried to calm their sister down. Looking over at the two people working on the potion, Phoebe noticed with confusion Chris' ferocious grip on the table. His knuckles had gone white and it was almost painfully obvious that the Whitelighter was trying to avoid looking at Piper at all while Paige continued.

"You have us. Granted, we're not Leo, but you won't have to manage everything on your own."

"I wouldn't have to manage anything if he hadn't gotten me pregnant. I didn't want to have another child!"

"God, Piper!" Chris suddenly exploded. Although the empath had never been able to read him, now she almost staggered under the sudden anguish she felt together with him.

"If that kid makes you so miserable why don't you just go ahead and get rid of it? It would save the trouble for the both of you!"

With those last angry words white-blue orbs enveloped his lanky form and seconds later, Chris had disappeared.

Staring at the spot where her Whitelighter had stood only moments ago, Phoebe tried to make sense of the expression she had seen on his handsome face. It had looked a lot like betrayal to her. And then his words!

"Did he really just say that?" She asked her equally startled sisters aghast. "Why would he say such a thing after all his future consequences lectures?"

Paige quickly shook herself out of her surprise and countered: "Maybe bad memories? You know, there are parents who actually tell their children they never wanted them."

"Why would he think I wanted to get rid of a child of mine?"

Piper's confused voice behind them reminded the two siblings what had started this whole scene in the first place. Turning around Phoebe could tell that her older sister truly was confused over their Whitelighter's behaviour. Had she even listened to herself ranting?

"Because you acted like it, honey!" Paige told their sister gently. Watching the stricken expression form on Piper's face, Phoebe was almost glad that Chris had reacted the way he had. It had been much more effective to make the woman see the way she acted than anything she could have come up with.

666

Something had just entered his crypt.

Being woken by his vampire sense, Spike lay still a moment to discern the presence that he could suddenly sense in his place. He was certain he had heard no footsteps coming down so that only left non-humans as possible visitors.

Sniffing the air the demon frowned in confusion. Or a certain witch-Whitelighter.

What was the boy doing in his crypt at this time of day? It was still a few hours until dusk; Chris should know he would still be sleeping. Once again scenting the air to give him some kind of clue why the boy was here he could make out a very faint smell of salt. Was the boy crying?

Definitely concerned now Spike rose from his bed, wrapping the bed cloth loosely around him both to prevent another Dawn-episode and to keep the draught down here at bay. Walking around the bed and over to the couch, the vampire asked yawning: "Pet? Wha' are you doing here?"

"'m sorry. I didn't want to wake you." The boy mumbled without answering his question.

Coming to a halt in front of the couch Spike could see Chris sitting on the couch, huddled in on himself. The boy wasn't crying but he didn't look like he would be jumping for joy anytime soon either. Hell, no! He was a demon, he wasn't good at this comforting stuff!

Who could make the half-breed feel so dejected anyway? Leo had a nasty habit of pushing the boy's buttons, but if Chris would have had another run-in with his father he would more likely be fighting with demons to get control over his rage right now. So that left – his mother perhaps?

"Chris?" Sitting down beside him, Spike observed the boy closely. Chris wouldn't meet his eyes but after a few minutes of silence, he started talking.

"She never wanted me, Spike. She said that it was all mistake and it should never have happened."

So it was the boy's mother. Ouch. Spike winced in sympathy. He knew exactly what it felt like to be unwanted.

"I love her and I missed her so much and now she told me she didn't want me..."

He could feel the witch desperately trying to hold back the tears now. But what he said wasn't really true. Spike guessed that rationally, Chris knew that this woman wasn't the mother he knew, not yet at least. Having met the woman, the vampire seriously doubted that she would ever abandon a child of hers or make it feel unwanted, so her words were most likely spoken in shock or something like that. That knowledge wouldn't ease the boy's pain now, however. Only his mother could achieve that.

Having no experience in comforting a human – and not ever having felt the urge to do that in the first place except when his nibblet had cried over her sister's loss – Spike didn't know what to say to the witch. Still, he was reluctant not to at least try to make him feel better, so he decided that maybe honesty would do the trick for once.

"I know what that feels like, pet," he began, watching for the boy's reaction from the corners of his eyes. The young witch looked at him curiously although a bit sceptical. Good, he had his attention.

"Granted, it wasn't my mother. In the times I was born in no one ever asked anyway if a woman wanted to have a kid or not. Did you ever hear of the name Angelus? Bloody sadistic bastard he was, and for a vampire that is a compliment. He was my Sire, the vampire who made me. I virtually lived for his bloody approval my first few decades." Spike snorted at the memory. It was true. Angelus had become the centre of his world in the beginning.

He kinda missed the old times where everything had still been simple, where his sire had been his sire and not this ridiculous parody of a vampire, where humans had been dinner and nothing else, where the slayer had been the enemy and not someone he would mourn for like a soddin' friend...

"Together with his sire Darla and his other childe Drusilla, we were the Scourge of Europe. Raised havoc in quite a few towns, did whatever we wanted to and no one dared to cross our path. Until that poof went and fed of a gypsy girl. Her family cursed him by giving him back his soul and from that moment on the sire I knew and respected was replaced by that wanker who now rejects his own nature and tries to redeem himself by 'helping the helpless'. Suddenly me and Dru were monsters and he didn't want anything to do with us anymore. He bailed on us. Dru cried for her daddy weeks after."

That was as deep as he would go into his feelings. It was not a nice memory and as much as he liked to deny it, the way Angel had looked at him the few times they had met in the course of the last few years still hurt. The boy beside him stared into space, not giving any hint that he had listened to his story at all. He did speak after a couple of moments however.

"What did you do to make the pain stop?"

Spike pursed his lips thoughtfully. "I tortured my victims with railroad spikes."

A barely there grin slipped on the boy's features and the vampire had to grin himself. Chris really had little in common with his Whitelighter father if his story had actually managed to soothe him down rather than freak him out.

"Sounds like a plan."

666

"CHRIS!"

Piper paced back and forth in the nursery, waiting for her overdue Whitelighter to finally arrive here. It was no emergency but still she was impatient for him to appear.

Having talked to her sisters yesterday, she felt the absurd need to explain herself to the young man. Yesterday had possibly been the first time she had ever seen a true emotion on Chris, other than impatience or annoyance that was, and like it or not, the hurt look on his face had gotten to her.

Piper had never actually thought about Chris' parents. She had just assumed that, however young he looked, he had to have been dead for a while given that he was a Whitelighter and all. On the other hand he had told them that he hadn't been a Whitelighter for very long yet and Leo hadn't known him before, so it was quite possible that he had yet to be born in their timeline. The witch had never tried to imagine him as a child but now that she did, she wondered what his childhood had been like for him to react so strongly to her mindless tirade and she just wanted to set things right again.

The sound of orbs behind her brought her back to the present and Piper turned to see her slightly uncomfortable young Whitelighter.

"What's up?" Chris asked in an effort to mask his uneasiness. And again with the firsts, Piper actually felt guilty towards him.

"I just wanted to talk to you," she explained to him.

Pushing his hair back behind his ears in a gesture that Piper had learned by now betrayed his nervousness, Chris told her: "Listen, if this is because of yesterday; I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that."

"But you were right. To snap at me, I mean." Catching his suspicious gaze, Piper smiled ruefully. Ever since the boy had come into their lives they had made a right mess of things every step of the way, every single one of them, Whitelighters included.

"Did you have parents that didn't want you, Chris?" She wasn't able to hold back that question even though it might hurt him.

Squinting his eyes in confusion, he watched her warily. Nevertheless Piper saw a deep-rooted pain in his eyes once she tried to look past his attitude.

"My father certainly acted like it." Chris let slip before catching himself. Shaking his head, he asked her bewildered: "What does it matter?"

"It matters to you." Letting her eyes wander to her sleeping baby boy, she sighed. What did some parents think treating their children as if they didn't matter?

Guiding her attention back to her waiting Whitelighter, she told him: "I just... I just wanted you to know that it's not the baby I was so upset about. It's the fact that Leo will not be able to be there for two sons now."

"Did you tell him? That you are pregnant?" Chris asked her with a strange expression.

"No! And you won't either!" Piper ordered him fiercely. "I know how hard it was for him to leave one son behind. I don't want him to feel even guiltier for leaving another one behind. His calling is more important." She meant it. But that didn't ease the pain of being abandoned once again.

The young man nodded in agreement and went to leave the room but Piper held him back one more time, wanting him to truly understand this one thing. "Chris? I really do want this child. Okay?"

Watching her intently for a moment, Chris finally granted her with a quiet smile. "Okay."

666

The school was empty this time of day, the long corridors deserted, the library and classrooms both soothingly and eerily quiet, the children and teachers that usually inhabited the place asleep at home or still up and about somewhere else to have fun.

Usually the Elder liked this time of day, the quietness that made the ancient hallways even more imposing, more threatening than they already were. Today however, he wished he could be someplace else, wished, he didn't have to have this conversation. He knew though that it was inevitable. He had to have someone else see his point of view, had to make someone understand what no other Elder obviously wanted to understand. Wyatt Halliwell should never have been allowed to be born.

Gideon angrily paced the length of his office, waiting impatiently for his fellow-Elder to arrive. Why didn't anyone see the threat that this boy posed for all of them? The child was strong even this young. Grown up he would be a force no one would be able to stop if he got out of control. And the heavens have mercy if the boy ever was to be lured to the dark side!

The man had seen what his mother had been able to do with the powers Leo had bestowed upon her to defeat the Titans. Those powers had not been her own and she had given them back eventually, but it only served his conviction that no single person should hold that much power in hands. And Wyatt would have as much powers as her that time once he was an adult. He could not let that happen.

It was too late to prevent the boy from being born at all but Gideon would see to it that he wouldn't be able to cause any harm in the future. If he couldn't convince the other Elders to take away the boy's powers he would find a way to do it himself!

At least he had prevented the possibility of another child of a Charmed One and an Elder by convincing Leo that he would endanger them all if he kept on visiting his family.

Maybe, the other Elders would even have believed him if it weren't for this annoying young Whitelighter from the future who kept insisting that he was here to stop some evil from harming the twice-blessed child and thus destroying the only chance humanity had left to stop the world from descending into darkness. Gideon himself believed the baby was far more of a threat than any demon could ever be, but he played along with the others for the time being.

Sensing his visitor's arrival, the Elder stopped pacing and turned around to greet the other Elder with open arms.

"Sigmund!"

tbc

A/N: Don't really have much to say this time. Except that - for those who didn't read it in the summary - I changed the 10th chapter slightly and added a whole scene at the end because I wanted to have it in but it didn't really fit in this chapter. Sorry...

The intro is from 'Listen to your Heart' by Roxette although I believe there are very few who don't know that song.

Oh my, I just realized that my whole story is gonna be an emotional roller coaster for Chris. Poor boy!

Anyways, on to the reviews:

Sallywags: Don't worry, we're getting there :)

redfox88: Of course he deserved the tell-off ;) And we just assume that Dawn and Spike had it coming for them while Chris was sleeping :) So, thank you for the review!

YoshimiWolfspaw: ...just pretend I didn't say anything then :) You have a story? Where!

Lonnie: Yeah, what you said ;)

phoebe turner: Sweet? Well, I think this one was even sweeter :)

So, I think that's it for today. If I forgot anyone, speak up! And a huge Thank You for anyone who reviewed!

Till next week then :)