Life without Ren was so bland and pointless. Horohoro wanted to just throw himself off a cliff, but he couldn't stand the thought of Ren dying alone.

He tried to comfort himself by walking to the bookstore. Everywhere he turned, he felt like throwing up.

Murder mysteries were shelved in many places across the store, sporting names and summaries filled with cold-blooded killers and their victims dying in total agony.

Horohoro swallowed. Ren was dying. He was to blame. He was a murderer.

He tried to involve himself in something else, eyes travelling towards the manga section. Perhaps an issue of Shonen Jump was the thing to lift his dulled spirits.

As he scanned the pages, two figures entered. He looked up, clenching his fists. One of them was Hao. He couldn't believe his eyes when his gaze moved to the next person. A lazy grin, chocolate-colored hair.

Asakura Yoh.

So Hao had called Faust.

"Yoh?" he called, in an almost happy tone. Yoh turned around and spotted him, his grin widening by twice its size. "Hi, Horo!" he yelled exitedly, waving like an idiot. "Long time no see, huh?" His brow furrowed. "You look like a wreck...have you been getting enough sleep?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," the Ainu lied. "There's nothing wrong."

"Huh?" Yoh asked, looking around Horohoro's shoulder, a confused look splashed across his expression. "Where's...Where's Ren? Hao told me he was always with you before... How come he isn't right now? I kinda wanted to say hi to him, too..."

"He's in the hospital," Horohoro spat bitterly, "And it's my fault."

"Oh, really?" Yoh asked, looking concerned. "I hope he's okay..."

"He's not okay. He's going to die."

"Oh...Gee, Horo...I'm real sorry about that..."

"There's no need to be sorry, Yoh. Ren is not of any concern to any of us now." Hao appeared behind his younger brother, an unpleasantly stony and smug expression plastered on his face. "Isn't that right, Usui? Don't you agree with me?"

"Don't talk to me." Horohoro scowled and turned away from him. He felt sick. He didn't even want to so much as look at Hao or hear his voice.

"I'm leaving," he announced, tossing the Shonen Jump back on the shelf. "See you around, Yoh."

He shoved past Hao, angrily exiting the bookstore. He walked idly around Tokyo after that. There was nowhere really else to go, and he didn't want to go back to the apartment. After what seemed like an eternity of aimless wandering, he found himself coming to a stop in front of the hospital.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt...to try one more time," he mused, walking through the automated doors. He stepped into the hospital's pristine white walls, wondering if today was going to be the same as all the others. He licked his lips nervously and approached the receptionist's desk. "Is it okay to see...to see Tao Ren?" he inquired nervously, crossing his fingers hopefully inside his pocket.

The receptionist filed through some papers, manicured nails clicking. She looked up and smiled at Horohoro. "Yes, dear. Tao Ren is allowed to have visitors today."

He couldn't believe his ears. The Ainu felt like hugging the receptionist and screaming with insane joy, but instead, he simply uttered a controlled "Thank you" before walking cheerfully to the hospital gift store. He wanted to do anything to make Ren feel loved.

There, he spent some pocket money on a small vase of flowers. They were white and plain, Ren never liked gaudy and colorful flowers. Feeling lighter and more carefree, he took his purchase up to Ren's room.

The door was unlocked, he opened it at once and stepped in. Ren wasn't sleeping but his eyes were closed, so at the sound of the door opening, he let out a small groan, muttering, "Another test?"

"No, Ren...It's me, Horohoro. I...I came to see you."

Ren's eyes immediately fluttered open, and they seemed to brighten somewhat at the sound of Horohoro's voice. "Really? Oh, Horohoro...I haven't seen you in such a long time...I can't tell you how badly I've missed you..."

"Same here, Ren." He placed the flowers on his bedside table and leaned down, planting a gentle kiss on Ren's forehead.

"I'm going to die, aren't I?" Ren asked softly as Horohoro withdrew his lips. "The doctors...the doctors told me...that my internal organs were damaged beyond anything repairable...They said that they couldn't do anything to save me."

Horohoro's heart turned to ice. If he hadn't already suspected as much, he would have been screaming his head off.

"No, Ren...you're not gonna die...they'll find a way, I'm sure..." He took Ren's hands, rumpling his hair and smiling weakly. He hated lying to Ren, but he hated seeing him like this even more. He wanted him to feel at least somewhat comforted, if this was the most he could do. "You're not gonna die," he repeated.

Ren's eyes looked away, a filled with a terrible sadness. "I really wish I could believe you, Horohoro. I really do."

"Ren..."

"I'm sorry..."

Yet another sleepless night.