I'm updating again, I think it must be everybody's lucky day x3
I guess I'll respond to all the reviews that I haven't in a long time, I'm sad because this story's over.. Only this chapter.. ;;
UpChan- Sorry I still haven't finished that story I was writing for you xD My computer died, I got a new one now, but I don't have what I already wrote. I'll start a new one for you if you want me too!
Lynne- I have no idea what my inspirations were... Probably my nephew playing kingdom hearts all freaking summer long over and over, it's all I listened to all day along with the radio and other music, so being over powered by Kingdom Hearts and Country music most likely, either the country or techno.. They always give me my bests story ideas /
Sora K. I love you! You are the sweetest. Aww, I'm so glad you liked it. I guess now you can see that Zexion is dead even in the story by Kingdom Hearts 2. I'm still sad about that..
Katarix.- I'm glad you're happy with they way things are going. I'll work on one last Axel Roxas lemon before he leaves.
Okita- I'm glad you like where it's going, or where it was going. I almost cried when I read your review about true love conquering all, since after the last chapter that shows it's not quite true for them.
Dark Light- I'm so glad you like the story, I'm sad I didn't get your review for chapter 11, but I bet you're busy . ( I know, everything in Chapter 10 was all so unexpected, to bad I think 11 was the saddest thing I've ever written..
Seshka- Don't worry, I wasn't offended, I'm glad you like it. X3
MissMurder111- I'm glad everyone got all their action, I think I'm running out of new ideas for lemons since I've written to many xD
MercifulDeath- thanks for the review.
Crimson Enigma- I'm glad you're not upset with the way the story is going now.
Sarah- I'm glad you like the story and thanks for your review.
FennyPiper- Sorry I didn't write the lemon, it was to disturbing for me to think about... Roxas still loves me I'm sure, he gets to be with his lover before he runs away..
Myoko- I love you buddy!!! I've already responded to all your concerns, but I still love you..
Soshiko-Sorry I broke your heart / I'm glad you liked it though. Add me! I like making new friends so I'd be happy if you did. I don't find it creepy at all )
Blazing Fire- I'm sorry I made someone bug you.. I have been really busy and my computer was being screwy, but now I'm back I hope that you lived xD Thanks for the review.
Kate- I like Axel and Roxas too they're nice together.
Aki Haruko- I'm sorry you don't like how the story's going / ;;
Naomi- I love you for saying such nice things.
Hiyotoko- Thanks for the review
Lynne- I'm so sorry the update took so long, I hope you didn't hurt that plushie to bad xD
MisstressBellaMalfoy- I'll have you know, your review hella pissed my off I whined about it for a week, but it's your opinion and I respect that, besides I already welcomed flames so I can't complain to much. By the way though the will be in character by the time it's over I like to think they went through dramatic changes, and If I want to make people cry it's my story! Feel free to rewrite it with out all the oocness I don't care. Other than that I have nothing to say, but thanks for the review. Wait as for your whining about Axel's thoughts I specified that his thoughts felt more like a movie like he was watching them happen not he was feeling them happen so it would be in third person T-T
Aki Hakuro- That's a surprise Axel did love someone before Roxas, but since in the sequel it will come out who Axel was in a past life I better wait to tell anyone until then...
Elsa- Sorry I didn't hurry very fast..
Garret- I love you, man you cheered me up after mean people shot me down so I dedicate chapter 11 to you x3 Sorry if you cry when Roxas leaves
Sairu9- Thank you for the proper review and all the nice things you said, it too cheered me up so you can have the dedication for this chapter x3
Draechaeli- I'm glad you like it so far so I hope to hear what you have to say about these last chapters soon.
Cyrena- I'm sorry It took so freaking long for me to update, I hope you realize all the nice things you said made me update faster, thank you!
Demyx's Sitar Girl- I'm sorry I made you sad after such a long wait, but it was worth it right, It added o the story in a nice way right xD
EmoGrass- I'm sorry I updated while you were gone, leave it to me to still be a pain, I'm a horrible mood though so that must be why I'm writing being mad and secluded inspires me xD
Li the twilight knight- Thanks for the review even though you don't normally review, I'm so glad you liked it enough, I hope I do get to hear from you again xD
Finally... On to the next chapter...
Chapter 12: Why me?
Demyx clung to his sitar as he stayed on the ground unable to move as he stared at the spot where Zexion had disappeared from hoping he would come back again and maybe he wasn't dead just like he wasn't last time, but he knew deep down that it wasn't true. He reached up to wipe away one of the tears he was sure were pouring from his eyes, but there was nothing there. He blinked a few times as he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Dem, are you okay?" Axel asked rubbing his shoulder softly.
"I'm cold, I can't feel anything.. I think Zexion was right.."
"About what?" Roxas asked kneeling in front of the musician.
"He said that I was his heart... Like when we were together the fragments of our hearts completed each other, but now-- now he's gone and for the first time, I can't feel anything, I don't feel sad..."
"You're not sad?" Roxas asked confused and almost in tears, He'd never felt a loss of emotions and it seemed strange to him that Demyx couldn't feel anything.
"No, but I feel something.. I feel scared.." he whispered as Axel knelt down behind him and hugged him.
"Roxas..." Axel smiled as he looked at the blonde over Demyx's shoulder, he knew what the other nobody was saying was true, before Roxas came, all he ever felt was anger and resentment, now he could feel everything again. "It's alright, Demyx will be fine and Zexion told me he would rather die than stay in the organization, it was a risk he knew he was taking when he left."
"You knew he left?" Demyx asked as he looked up at Axel confused.
"Yeah..." Axel nodded.
"I need some fresh air.." Roxas sighed as he stood up and smiled taking a deep breath trying not to seem to emotional, "I'll see you guys back in your rooms or something..."
"Are you okay?" Axel asked cocking his head a little worried.
"I'm fine you just stay with Dem," Roxas smiled though it seem forced. Axel nodded, even though he wasn't convince as the blonde started to leave.
"Is he alright?" Demyx asked as he watched Roxas walk out the massive door.
"Most likely, you know Zexion was right, about what he told you. I feel bad telling you this, but fear and maybe a couple other emotions are all you'll ever feel until we get our hearts back. Or the rest of our hearts back that is."
"How do you know?" Demyx asked a hint of fear and a dash of doubt in his words.
"Before Roxas came I had the same problem.." he sighed shaking his head a little, he doesn't understand how deep our feelings go since, like you he didn't spend very much time alone before finding someone who completed him." Axel sighed as he rested his head on Demyx's shoulder.
"That's.. That's sad, you have to tell him..." Demyx said turning to Axel.
"No.. He'll never have to see what you've seen Dem, Roxas will be here with me until we get our hearts back, and then we'll all have our hearts and we'll all be together like we should be..."
"I guess your right, maybe it's better he doesn't know..."
"I don't know what I'm going to, without Zexion I doubt that I can make it until then..."
"You'll be fine, I know you will.. I won't let anything happen to you." Axel smiled "You're the only person I like around besides Roxas, if I lose you, I'll die." he laughed patting Demyx's head.
"Why don't we go back to your room?" Demyx laughed wanting to get out of the meeting room, it always had freaked him out in there anyways.
"Alright..." Axel chimed helping Demyx up off the ground after standing up.
Demyx followed Axel back to the room still a bit shaken up, but fine other than that. Axel sat down on the bed and Demyx sat down next to him. He sighed as he leaned up against the wall still wearing just the pajama pants he'd been wearing while he was with Zexion.
"I can't do it.." Demyx sighed shaking his head.
"Do what?" Axel asked confused.
"Zexion, he told me to forget him, but I can't.. It's not that easy, I want to, because I know he would want me to, but every little thing reminds me of him, I can't even walk in my room with out thinking of him, his pictures are covering my wall.
"Aw Dem, you don't have to forget him in one day, it will take a long time, and Zexion may have said he wanted you to forget him, but he doesn't. He wants you to remember the happy times I'm sure.." Axel frowned as he put an arm around Demyx.
"Thanks Axel, but I just want to forget even what I remember makes me feel numb, not sad, a little scared that I'll never be happy again, but not sad or happy or even mad.
"I'm sorry Dem," Axel sighed not knowing what to say to his best friend.
"And now, I'm never going to get laid again!" Demyx frowned looking up at Axel,
"I'm sure that's not true.." Axel laughed shaking his head.
"It is because the only people I'd consider screwing around with are to committed to each other.." he pouted looking down at his toes.
"Oh really?" Axel asked nudging Demyx's cheek with his nose. Demyx nodded before turning to him. Axel kissed him without thinking.
"Don't start something you don't intend to finish.." Demyx spat glaring at him as he pulled away from the kiss.
"Who said I don't intend to finish it.." he shrugged with a smirk on his face.
"What about Roxas?"
"He'll understand after I tell him what happened, I'm sure he's pretty understanding.." he shrugged as he kissed Demyx again. That answer was good enough for Demyx.
Roxas walked along the dark city streets with his arms crossed and his hood up obviously in deep thought. He knew he couldn't stay here much longer, he hated it. Xemnas was the most fucked up person he'd ever seen in his life, he didn't understand how he could do that to his friend. He kicked a rock out of his path as he stopped and leaned against a wall with a heavy sigh. It started to rain rather suddenly, so the blonde decided he should get back inside, but before he could a huge puddle darkness formed under his feet and hundreds of NeoShadow heartless popped up from nowhere. He summoned his keyblade and attacked them, killing them right and left before he noticed someone on the roof.
He charged the white haired, blind folded man, he assumed was controlling the heartless and was ready to attack when the guy started coming at him. The fought rather evenly for a good 10 minutes before Roxas hit the other man and the stopped to breath as the other man grabbed his weapon.
"Why..." The man asked looking directly up at Roxas "Why do you have the keyblade?" Roxas looked at the white haired male ready to strike a deadly blow when something deep inside told him to spare him.
"Shut up!" Roxas yelled as he left the other standing around unsure where he went. Roxas walked inside soaking wet and panting as he let his keyblade disappear.
"Roxas are you alright?" Xemnas asked as he noticed a cut on the blonde's cheek when he was walking by.
"I'm fine..." Roxas sighed as he kept on.
"Roxas wait!" Xemnas boomed obviously wanting to know who did this to him.
"What?" Roxas snapped as he turned around to reveal just how bad the cut is. Xemnas shook his head as he did a curing spell on Roxas.
"Who did this to you pet?" he asked walking towards him. He wiped the blood away from where the cut used to be. "Come on, come in my room... I'll clean this up for you..." he laughed as he grabbed the boys arm. Roxas was about to resist, but Xemnas already said he didn't want him anymore and he was to tired to fight with him about it.
Roxas sat down in a chair while Xemnas walked in the bath room and got a wet washcloth. He came out and wiped the blood away from the blonde's cheek. Roxas looked over at the fire trying not to look at Xemnas who was still kneeling in front of him.
"Can't you even look at me Roxas?" Xemnas asked as he stood up sighing.
"No I can't... How could you?" he asked shaking his head.
"How could I what?" Xemnas asked a bit caught off guard.
"Make Demyx do that..." Xemnas laughed at the nobodies answer.
"I don't have a heart Roxas, so I obviously don't feel bad, you shouldn't either..." Xemnas sighed patting his head. "You look so upset? How do you do it?" Xemnas asked obviously serious.
"Do what?" Roxas spat confused
"Why do you still have emotions, it doesn't make sense.. You shouldn't feel anything let alone feel everything." Xemnas seethed obviously pissed that there was no explanation. "I know your heart is special, but it doesn't make sense, I just.." Xemnas cut himself off as he looked at Roxas confused. "Maybe you should go..." he sighed before leaning in and kissing his lips.
Roxas' eyes got wide with confusion as he got up as quickly as possible in case Xemnas intended to change his mind. He walked out of the room and walked down the hall to Axel's bedroom wondering what Axel and Demyx were up to. He opened the door smiling. "You guys won't believe what happened.." he chimed as he looked to a horrifying sight, at least it was horrifying to him. "Axel?" he asked as stared at the two of them having sex horrified.
"Roxas, I can explain.." Axel said looking up feeling bad.
"Roxas, wait come back." Xemnas yelled from down the hallway.
"I have to go.." Roxas said sounding rather hurt as he left the room and slammed the door shut.
"Roxas.." Axel sighed as he pulled out of Demyx and watched the door close.. "Fuck.." he sighed.
"I'm sooooo fucking sorry Axel," Demyx said sounding scared for him.
"It's not your fault Dem, I wonder what Xemnas wants with Roxas?" he asked bowing his head in shame.
"Yeah Xemnas?" Roxas asked as he walked over to him trying to seem unphased, but he was obviously hurt.
"I need your help..." he smirked as he invited the blonde back in his room. "It's for our research."
"Alright.. What can I do?"
"Just a few tests so I can see what emotions you do and don't have. I've noticed certain patterns in you and the other nobodies."
"Alright, if it's for research.." Roxas shrugged as he sat on the bed.
"Alright just sit here..." he nodded as he orbed a cake into Roxas' lap.
"What the hell?" Roxas asked smiling rather bright. "Is this for me?"
"No.." Xemnas spat taking it away from him.
"Oh, okay" Roxas sighed a bit confused and disappointed.
Xemnas marked something down on a sheet of paper at his desk before walking back over to Roxas.
"Why were you so upset when you came in here?" Xemnas asked as he sat down next to Roxas who obviously looked worried.
"I don't want to say..." Roxas cringed thinking about it. Xemnas smirked as he read Roxas' thoughts.
"So Demyx and Axel were sleeping together? How did that make you feel?" Xemnas asked cocking his head at the the blonde.
"Sad, a bit pissed kinda like when you read my thoughts.." Roxas spat annoyed with the invasion of his privacy.
"I understand..." Xemnas cooed as he patted Roxas' shoulder. "You're still soaked." he informed him a bit shocked. Give me that jacket, I'll get you a new one..." Xemnas sighed as he stood up. Roxas sighed as he pulled off his jacket and stood up so he could give it to Xemnas walked off and Roxas sat back down. He closed his eyes and fell back on the bed still pretty tired and upset with Axel and Demyx.
That's when he felt himself hovering over the bed. "Xemnas!!" he spat flailing a bit trying to get down. "What the fuck is going on?" he screamed sounding scared out of his mind.
"What do you mean?" Xemnas asked walking out with a towel and a clean jacket. "Interesting.." he sighed trying to play it off like he had nothing to do with him floating.
"Very funny sir! Now put me down, I'm afraid of heights..."
Xemnas shook his head. "Right.." he laughed. Roxas laughed too as he felt himself being lowered back down to the bed.
"Thanks.." Roxas laughed as he sat cross-legged on the bed.
"For putting you down?" Xemnas asked as he leaned over and dried off the blonde.
"That too, but actually for cheering me up..." he sighed as he took the towel from the superior and started to dry himself off.
"Yeah, yeah, now you owe me.." he joked as he held out the cloak to the blonde.
"Maybe, I could make it up to you..." he whispered looking over at Xemnas bighting his lip.
"You don't have to do anything Pet, your smile somehow fills me with hope it's enough.." he laughed sounding crazy to himself, he wasn't sure what it was about Roxas' smile that made him feel, but it did, it made him feel -something.-
"I want to..." Roxas smiled bright eyed as he cocked his head, he was feeling rather vengeful as he scooted closer to the older nobody.
"You don't have to tell me twice.." Xemnas smirked as he leaned in and claimed the blonde's lips in a searing kiss. His warm hands found their way to Roxas' still slightly damp back and pulled him closer. Roxas moaned slightly into the kiss as he reached forward and pulled down the zipper of Xemnas' jacket.
Xemnas shrugged the coat off his shoulders and let it fall on the bed before his hands found their way to the blonde's lower back. They were both distracted by a loud pounding at the door and Xemnas growled under his breath.
"Get the fuck out of here..." he seethed staring daggers at the door.
"It's an emergency!" Xigbar barked from behind the door. "Heartless are over running everything!" he yelled.
Xemnas jumped off of the bed and walked to the window to see if he was going to have to kill Xigbar for bugging him when he was so close to having Roxas like he should have since the beginning, but he was right they were storming the castle for some reason.
"Roxas, Come here!" he yelled and the blonde jumped up and ran to the window.
"What's going on?" he asked holding onto Xemnas' arm.
"I don't know, get dressed we have to go fight them."
The two of them got dressed and ran outside to join what was left of the organization with their weapons readied. The heartless that had been storming the building came back down and the all started coming at the nobodies, but not all of them, just Roxas. They all fought, but Roxas was getting freaked out.
"Why are they only attacking me?!" he yelled as he swung the keyblade.
"They want your keyblade!" Xemnas yelled.
"Then you take it!!!" he screamed trying to give it away. Xemnas took it, but it orbed back into Roxas' hand.
"It's not that easy!" Xigbar yelled.
"The keyblade chose you, that's why we need you Roxy!" Xaldin echoed.
Roxas continued to fight the heartless along side the rest of the Organization until they actually stopped coming and they defeated the last of them. The Nobodies cheered and everyone started going inside. Axel and Roxas were the only ones left outside as Roxas started walking off.
"Where are you going Rox, the party's inside you're not still mad at me are you?
"I'm not mad, but what the fuck happened?" Roxas asked turning back to Axel as he walked backwards.
"I was just making him feel better..."
"I don't mind, he can make you feel better later tonight, see you don't need me..."
"What? Why?" Axel asked confused as he followed Roxas.
"It's so.. weird here, no one will ever give me any straight answers, and everyone is so devoid of feelings, it's like the only feelings everyone can feel are fear, lust, or rage.." Roxas scoffed as he turned around.
"I'm leaving I need to find some -real- answers."
Axel stopped and leaned against the wall as Roxas continued to pace. He watched the blonde in silence unsure what he was going to say to stop him.
"Your mind's made up?" he asked as Roxas started to leave.
"The keyblade chose me, I have to know why.." Roxas explained.
"You can't turn on the Organization. You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" Axel boasted.
"No one would miss me.." Roxas scoffed thinking of Axel and Demyx together.
"That's not true... I would" Axel explained as Roxas continued to walk off. When Roxas pulled up a portal and Axel was sure he was serious he ran after him "Roxas wait!"
"I'm leaving tonight, and you can't stop me so don't try,.. Just promise me one thing?" Roxas asked looking up at the taller cloaked man. The other nobody nodded and he continued. "Don't forget me.." No matter what.. just remember. I don't care if I disappear and everyone else forgets, if you'll just remember me. Everything will be okay." Roxas said obviously holding back tears looking down at the soggy ground.
"I could never forget you...Can you do something for me though?" the other man cooed grabbing Roxas' hand. Roxas nodded and he continued "Don't forget, I love you and I always will. Got it memorized?.. That's why I'm going to follow you. No matter what."
"I love you too, Axel" Roxas said wrapping his arms around Axel's neck embracing him tightly. Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas' waist and pulled away but didn't let go of the other boy. "I'm going to miss you!" Roxas said a stray tear falling down his cheek.
"No you're not!" he said wiping away the tear gently "'Cause I'm going with you."
"You can't" Roxas said shocked looking up at him scared. "The organization will kill you, or worse make me kill you!"
"And they won't kill you? That's a risk I'm willing to take, I'd die to be with you even if it was just one more day." Axel said frowning pulling Roxas into another hug.
"You know I'd never let you do that" Roxas whispered in his ear. "I couldn't handle being responsible for your death. It's better you stay.. I promise. I'll come back to you. I just need time"
"It'd be worth it since I'd be lost without you." Axel said trailing off as Roxas nuzzled into his chest. He kissed the top of the blonde's head and sighed. "You promise I'll get to see you again."
"If I have any say in it we'll be together, and next time it will be forever..I won't leave again, I just need answers" he said pulling away and looking up at him. Axel shook his head in dismay before kissing Roxas one last time. "Don't worry. I'm sure next time we meet it will be a happier occasion" Axel shook his head shaking. Roxas hugged him one last time and walked off turning his back on his lover.
"Just don't forget you're promise.. Don't forget I love you!" Axel called the pain loud in his voice. Roxas kept walking and whispered "I won't" to choked up to do any sort of yelling. He disappeared through the gate silent tears pouring down his face as he pulled his hood back up.