When Your Sun Turns Black
This story is written by brookescott134 and Brucas46Forever. We really, really hope you like this. Comments are greatly appreciated and they are what keep us encouraged to write. Remember that.
Summary: Sometimes people play hard-to-get because they need to know the other person's feelings are real, but sometimes, for some of us, we play too hard.
Rating: T
Chapter Three: We Can't Go Back
Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry,
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry,
I can't be perfect
-"Perfect" by Simple Plan
Contrasting its previous appearance, the beach house looked cleaner now, the beer bottles discarded. The clothes that littered the house only an hour ago had been put away neatly, and the place had the same fresh smell again. Lying on the living room couch was Lucas, a bag of ice on his upper cheek bone.
Lucas sighed as he thought about the earlier brawl with his younger brother. Nathan had really hit him hard, marking Lucas with an ugly bruise. Lucas hadn't wanted the fight to start, and in his opinion, it was Nathan who had started it when he began to criticize his decisions concerning Brooke, especially when he implied that he didn't care about her. Who was he to tell him how he felt, thought Lucas. Nathan didn't know what was going on between him and Brooke, and he shouldn't be their judge.
The blond haired man sighed mournfully however, as he now realized Nathan might have a point. His marriage was taking a step in the wrong direction, and he feared it was truly all his fault. The soft clicking of heel broke his train of thought.
"You know, Lucas," she said, "you really have to start learning to take care of this place if you're going to be living her for a while." She handed him an aspirin and a cup of water and watched as he gulped it down, glaring at her. "It's true, Lucas," she told him, taking the glass from his hands and placing it on the coffee table. "Nobody's going to be here to clean after you."
"Yeah, well, there used to be somebody," he muttered.
"Yeah, until you drove her mad to the point that she had to kick you out," she bit back.
"Why does everyone insist on throwing that back in my face?"
"Listen, Lucas. I know it, and I know that you know it. You just don't want to admit it. You were being an ass, okay?" She sighed thoughtfully. "But I don't think she should have kicked you out."
"Well, at least somebody is on my side," Lucas said in a thankful tone.
Haley was quick to correct him. "I'm not on anyone's side, Lucas." Her voice was firm when she spoke, making sure he understood her. "There are no sides. I just think that what Brooke did was wrong for your marriage, and for the kids. But you were wrong before."
"For doing my job? I honestly don't understand what the big deal is behind that."
"No, Lucas. ...For ignoring your family," she tells him as she leans forward fiercely, placing her hands on her knees, legs spread slightly.
"I didn't ignore my family," he said, voice rising as he lifted himself up into a sitting position quickly.
"Lucas, what is Shelby's favorite color?"
"I-Its-Hales, that has nothing to do with what we're talking about."
She ignored his lame excuse. "It is orange. Do you know why?"
He looked down, unable to respond.
"Because she says that no one else likes it and everyone needs a friend," Haley said, crossing her arms. "I am her aunt, Lucas, and I know that. ...You're her father. So do you want to tell me you don't ignore them again?" she challenged. She sighed as she looked at the broody state he was in. Placing a hand on his thigh comfortingly she said, "The only way any of this is going to get better is if you make it get better."
Night fell and it was quiet, the cool winter air blowing past the North Carolina night. Brooke laid, propped against the headboard of her daughter's bed, Shelby and Landon snuggled into her sides as she held the large story book in front of the two. Her voice was like a soft melody to them, lulling them to sleep as it drifted into the air.
"Brooke?" Lucas calls, voice hushed, as he maneuvers his way through the house, thinking the kids would be asleep. He makes his way to his room until he sees the light on in the children's room. He walked to the door, and the image before him almost brought tears to his eyes.
Cuddled next to each their mother and entranced by the sound of her voice, they hadn't seen him yet, and he leaned against the doorway, crossing his arms over his chest as he listened to his wife.
"And once Goldilocks was gone, Papa Bear, Momma Bear, and Little Bear sat at the table to eat their porridge happily together . . ." she read, her voice soft like an angel's.
Lucas smiled at the sight. "The end," Brooke finished. "You liked that story?" she asked, looking down at her kids. Landon nodded his head, holding onto his little teddy bear.
"Mommy?" Shelby asked sweetly. "Can we eat porridge together with daddy?" Lucas felt his heart drop, his eyes brimming with unshed tears.
"You remember how I told you daddy's away on a business trip?" Brooke asked her daughter, hating that she had to lie to her. Shelby nodded, eyes big and sad. "Well, we're just going to have to wait for him to come back, okay?" Landon and Shelby nodded, snuggling closer to their mother, their eyes half closed. "And then we can eat porridge together," Brooke continued, bringing a drowsy smile to Shelby's face.
"Okay, mommy," she yawned.
Brooke got up from the bed, covering her children in their blankets.
"Goodnight, mommy," Shelby and Landon whispered.
"Goodnight, guys." Brooke kissed each of their foreheads, smiling to them before turning off the small lamp light. She walked to the door with her eyes averted down, causing her to almost run straight into Lucas.
He opened his mouth to speak, but she silenced him with a finger over his lips, scared that his children might wake up and see him. She pushed him forward, closing the door quietly behind her. Once in the hallway, she backed away, placing her arms at her side.
"Lucas," she said. "What are you doing here?"
"I, uh," he said, clearing his throat. "I wanted to talk to you."
"I think you said enough at the beach house when you were fighting Nathan, remember?" she said spitefully. "Oh, wait . . . that's right. You didn't say anything when I asked you if you still wanted this, did you?" she continues as she walked down the hall to her room, him hot on her trail. "How is life at the beach?" she asked, turning around to face him, stopping him in his tracks. "It must be nice to finally not have a nagging wife and children around to interrupt your work."
"Brooke, please hear me out."
"You had your chance, Lucas," she said, walking into the room, still not turning to look at him.
"Brooke, please," he begged again, grabbing her arm and spinning her to face him. Brooke struggled against him . . . but only for second. And then there was silence, only the sound of the clock ticking in the background. They stayed, looking into each other's eyes. Lucas spoke first. "Brooke, we need to talk." She turned her eyes away. "Please?" he asked once more.
She looked at him, and she noticed the sincerity in his eyes. Brooke nodded simply. He let go of the grip he had on her arm as she led him into the living room, and he found it awkward that they could not even talk in the bedroom anymore.
They sat there, an unusual silence befalling them. "Lucas, you said you wanted to talk, so talk. ...I've already said all I need to say."
"Right," he agreed. "Well, to start off, I want to discuss why our marriage was failing prior . . my moving out." He winced at the formality of his words. God, this sounds like a business meeting, he thought. And he hated it.
"You still haven't figured it out, Lucas. Throughout this whole year, after all I've said, you still haven't been able to figure it out. You obviously weren't listening very well."
"Brooke, just tell me how to make this better," he pleaded.
"Try pulling your head out of your ass," she hissed. "Start being the Lucas Scott I fell in love with, the one I married and had children with. Start being the guy that hugs me from behind or brings me flowers just because. Be the guy that comes home for dinner with his family ever night and spends weekends playing with his kids and wife at the park. Listen to me when I ask to talk. Touch me and hold me and tell me you love and don't ask me to have to tell you to do this stuff . . ." She sighed after her ramble, looking down, the tears welling in her eyes. Don't cry, Brooke. Don't let him see he is hurting you, she chanted in her head, but a tear pooled out of her exhausted eyes despite this.
"Brooke," he said softly. It killed him to see her cry. "I want to be that guy, I do, but it's not that easy."
"It is, though, Lucas, because you used to be him," she said sadly.
"Things change, Brooke," he sighed.
"And you wonder why we have problems, Lucas. Jesus, I know things change but you just sit back and let them. You don't try and you don't fight. You just sit there and act like everything is fine and then when I do something smart like kick you out, you freak out and come to me with your tail in between your legs and beg for forgiveness. But not this time, Lucas, no. You can go back to the beach house because you coming here tonight has just shown me how little you truly have learned from all this; the fact that you still can't figure out what to do or say to make this better floors me, Lucas. It really does, and it's sad because it makes me hate you. God, I hate you so much, Lucas. It hurts . . . so bad," she sniffled before continuing, the tears throwing off the sound of her voice, "and you just sit there without a clue. ...Do you love me at all anymore, Lucas? Even a little bit?" She sounded desperate and her voice alone broke him into pieces.
Her words struck him hard, and he was quick to respond. "Brooke, how could you even doubt that?"
"How could I not, Lucas?" she asked sadly.
"Brooke," he said, and he got off his chair to kneel before her, taking her hands in his. He couldn't believe she could doubt his love, after everything they had been through. His voice cracking, he said slowly and made sure his words were clear, "I don't ever want you to doubt that, okay? You can think I'm an ass. You can hate me for not being home all the time. But don't you ever doubt my love for you, ever, because that is the one thing I have to hold onto." By this point, tears were beginning to pool in both their eyes, and Brooke was the one left speechless this time.
"Lucas, you-You can't just come in here and say that to me . . . not now," she said as the tears let loose, running down her face freely.
"Why not, Brooke? Why can't I say it if it's all true?" She didn't reply, and the sight of her crying because of him ripped at his heart. A tear falling down his face, he lifted his hand up to wipe her cheeks. "Don't cry, Brooke," he whispered. "I can't stand to see you cry."
"Well then don't make me!" she snapped, sobbing afterwards. "Damn it, Luke. This isn't fair," she said, her voice lowering once more.
"We have to fix this," he agreed with her. "For us, and for the kids." He gave her hands a small squeeze, forcing her to lift her head to look at him.
"Yeah . . . " Brooke replied. "We do." Lucas smiled. Maybe things were going to turn out all right after all, he thought. "I think it would help if . . . if we got a divorce."
And his whole world came crashing down.
Nathan was lying on his wife's bed watching ESPN when Haley entered, causing him to look at her. "Did you get them all to bed?" he asked, referring to their kids.
"Yep," she answered, flopping down next to him. "How was your day? I mean, minus you and your brother trying to kill each other?"
"I'm just worried about, Brooke. ...She just-I don't know. She seems so hurt by him and he seems unfazed." Nathan sighed. "It's like he could care less about what he's doing to her."
"Of course Lucas cares, Nathan. He just has a difficult time showing it."
"More like a difficult time showing up," Nathan snorted.
"Nathan!" Haley berated her husband.
"Well it's true, Haley. Tell me it isn't."
"Nathan," she began, "he might have made some mistakes, but he doesn't deserve to be kicked out of his own home." Her voice was loud and clear.
"Yes, it does, and if you ask me, he is lucky she didn't do it a year ago." Just like Brooke, he was being stubborn.
"It's his home, Nathan. She kicked him out of his own house, and she basically ruined the image of a happy home for her children. What's she going to say to them when things get worse, huh?"
"Haley . . . what if it was you? What if I was never home, ever? What if I never talked or opened up to you? What I left you to tend to the kinds all by yourself and didn't even act like I knew it was wrong?"
"What if I kicked you out of the house for doing it?" she challenged.
"I would say that I deserved it," he retorted, although he knew it wasn't true.
"Yeah, right. You wouldn't put up with it and you know it."
"I would never let it get to that point, but the way things are going with them . . it was like they weren't living together anyways."
"Okay, so the guy did something wrong. Why does he deserve to be kicked out of his house for it? Why can't they work it out by talking like normal people?" his angered wife asked.
"Because he was never there to talk about anything!" Nathan yelled. Haley stared at him wide-eyed, surprised by his outburst. She nodded, sliding back from him. "Haley, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell," he apologized.
She sighed. "Nathan, I don't want us to argue over them," she told him.
"I don't either, Haley, but she is your best friend, and I get he is, too, and he is higher up because you've known him much longer, but he is wrong in this. You and I both know the way their was going wasn't healthy for either of them," he tried to make her understand his point.
"Well, at least that is something we both agree on. But Nathan, can you honestly say her kicking him out is the better solution for their marriage?" Haley asked.
His answer was serious. "If it gets him to realize that he can't continue the way he is, yes. If not, then honestly, I think they just need to end it now."