Chapter 15

I paced my room enough to the point where I could have worn a pathway in the wood. I walked downstairs, telling the kitten to stay in my room, hoping I could try and find something to do. Waiting around my room, trying to figure my life out wasn't very fun.

I walked into the living room and found Jean and Scott sitting and watching t.v. I plopped down into the chair that sat next to the couch with a huff.

Scott didn't seem to notice me since he was too dragged into the baseball game that was on, but Jean did.

"What's wrong?" I heard in my mind.

"I'd rather not talk about it in front of Scott. I'm not in the mood for a big lecture."

"Then we'll keep it between us. What's wrong?" she asked.

"How did you know you had feelings for Scott?" I asked her.

"Well," she said with a pause, as if she were thinking, "When we were in school together, I had a bit of a crush on him, but I never followed the feeling. It wasn't until we had grown up together and became closer that I realized I still harbored feelings for him. I realized that I couldn't stop thinking about him. I didn't feel myself when I wasn't with him. I remembered the first time that I knew I was in love with him. We had been talking about something, I can't remember what it was, but he had blurted out that I was beautiful."

"He called you beautiful?" I asked her.

"Yea." she said, laughing mentally. "He even blushed after he had said it. It was one of the cutest things I had ever seen."

I realized I had been staring at her while we were having our conversation. That would seem to look a bit odd, seeing as how we hadn't said a word to each other, physically. I turned my head towards the t.v.

"Why do you ask?" I heard her ask me.

"Promise you won't flip." I sighed.

"Promise."

"I think I may have feelings for Logan and I think he may have feelings for me also." I said in all one quick breathe, hoping she wouldn't hear me, but it didn't work.

"You have feelings for Logan?" she asked.

"I think so. I mean, I can't stop thinking about him. I've only been here for about two days, but every time my mind strays, it goes straight to him. It's kind of annoying because I don't know why!" I said exasperated, if you could show that through the mind.

"Why are you acting like it's a bad thing to have feelings for him?" she asked.

"Because it's Logan. Logan doesn't think about anyone but himself." I said.

"He thought about you didn't he? He helped you when he could have left you there, to fend for yourself. You said yourself that he might feel the same way. What made you think he does?" she asked.

"He said that I was beautiful, and that he may have feelings for me, but he doesn't know. So he went out for a beer to help him figure out what he actually feels. I accidentally heard him through my mind." I paused. "I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell him because I am afraid that he will reject me, and I have been hurt to much in my life to have that happen again." I said.

"But you will never know what could have happened if you don't at least try." She said.

"I'm scared to." I mumbled.

"Look, I can't tell you what exactly to do, you have to come to terms with yourself and see if you are willing to take that giant leap or not." She paused for a moment. "Are you?"

I paused before I said anything. "Yea I am." I said.

"Good, now Logan just got back about five minutes ago. Go to his room and tell him how you feel before you change your mind."

"Alright." I said.

I turned to look at her and smiled.

"You two done talking now?" asked Scott.

"How did you know we were talking?" I asked.

"Well you came in here about ten minutes ago, and neither of you said a word, which is strange. And when Jean uses her mind she tends to breathe heavily."

"I do not!" she said, punching him in the arm.

"I'm just playing." said Scott, giving her a kiss to the forehead. Jean turned to look at me.

"Go!" she screamed through her mind.

I left the living room and walked upstairs, taking each step at two minute intervals it seemed like. 'Did I really want this?' I asked myself. 'Well of course I do. I haven't had that many relationships, but I know what I feel, and this feeling is so much different from the others.

I stopped talking to myself and looked up to find myself outside of Logan's door. 'Did I really want to do this?' I asked myself again. I looked both ways down the hallway to see if anyone was there. 'Nobody.' I thought. I took a deep breathe a decided to get it over with as fast as I could. The quicker the better I said to myself. I hesitantly raised my hand and knocked on the door. The door opened to soon for my liking, and there stood Logan, in jeans and white t-shirt.

"What do you want?" he growled. I walked into his room and started pacing.

"Look, I have a lot on my chest right now and if I don't get it out then I will cave, and I really need to say this and whether or not you agree that's fine, but knowing I said this out loud makes all the difference." I said. I looked up to notice him leaning against his door, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

"Well that doesn't make me feel any better." I mumbled to myself. I saw that he was waiting for me to continue. "Okay. Here it goes. Logan, I know that I haven't been the greatest towards you and I know that it's all my fault, but trying to be near you is intoxicating. I can't go two minutes into the day without thinking of you. Every time my mind wanders, it always lands on you. I didn't think anything of it because we have always been arguing with each other, but when it came to the fact that I couldn't do anything without it reminding me of you in more ways than one, I noticed that I simply wanted you. I realized who you were, as a person, and that made me change my entire outlook upon you and it made me realize that," I paused.

"You what." he said.

"It, made me realize that I have feelings for you. Feelings that I know run deeper than any other feeling I have ever felt. I know this is unexpected and a bit shocking, but I had to tell you. Knowing that I liked you, a lot, and knowing that you didn't know made me feel horrible and incomplete. Who knows, this may turn out to be nothing but, I just had to know what I was feeling and I know it's something great." I stopped. He didn't seem to respond to anything that I had said, and he continued to stand there.

"I'm sorry if this, you know I'm not sorry. I'm glad I got it out in the open because if I have to be sorry for liking you than, I don't know. But what I feel is real, I know that deep down. And whether you want to say anything at all is fine with me, but having me tell you made me feel better than ever."

He still had not moved or said a word. I figured he wouldn't so I went to leave. He wouldn't move from the door, but stood staring at me.

"Look, if your going to reject me, then please do it quickly because I have been hurt to much in my lifetime to wait here for your response." I said.

"When did you know you had feelings?" he asked me.

"Today. This morning, when I had heard you call me beautiful."

His head snapped up. "You read my mind?" he growled.

"No! I didn't I swear. I just heard it in my head, I don't even know how to read minds that well, all I know is that I heard it, I swear I didn't read your mind." I said.

He didn't say anything. "What did you mean you had been hurt to much in your lifetime?" he asked.

"No offence Logan but I really am not in the mood to discuss that right now." I sighed.

"Well I am. If someone is so afraid of being hurt, then why are you telling me you have feelings?" he asked.

"I don't know! Alright!" I yelled. POOF. I looked around and noticed I was standing out in the hallway. I sighed. I decided that this was my chance to get away from talking to Logan. I turned and started walking down the hall, when a hand grabbed my wrist and dragged me into a room.

"Don't do that again." warned Logan.

"I didn't do it on purpose." I sighed.

"Why are you so afraid of being hurt?" he asked.

"Logan." I said.

"Please?" he asked me. He grabbed my hands in his and looked into my eyes. I saw the sincerity of his actions and I knew I couldn't deny him this. I closed my eyes and nodded. He led me to the bed and sat me down.

"What happened to you?" he asked, brushing a stray piece of hair from my face and placing it behind my ear, causing me to shiver at his touch.

"Do you really want to know?" I asked.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't." he said.

I gave him a small smile and nodded.

"Alright. Here it goes." I sighed.