A/N: Okay- here's the thing people. When the original chapter came out, i kind of thought people would get the euphamism of kagome saying 'ass' instead of 'vagina'. Apparently not.

Let me just state: yes. i do know where tampons go. and yes. i am aware that it is not optional placement- if you want the things to work, you must put them in the correct place.

so here's a revised version of this chapter. kagome says it best.

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Martha comes to visit (version 2.0):

Kagome sucked in a breath and searched desperately for her aspirin. Another cramp hit her low in her belly and the girl hunched down in pain.

Eyes squeezed shut she breathed deep and slow.

"How long are you going to sit there?" Inuyasha asked in annoyance from a tree branch.

As long as it takes to stop me from vomiting, Kagome thought miserably. "Is there a hot spring nearby?" She asked, ignoring his other question.

"Yeah, just over that hill but we are- no!" Inuyasha groaned as Kagome hobbled to the spring. "We don't have time for your crap!" he shouted behind her as he jumped down to follow her.

Kagome slowly straightened and turned around. A look of pure and utter evil was on her angelic face as she grabbed Inuyasha by the front of his hakama.

"Listen here," she hissed angrily, "do not and I mean do not piss me off today. I'm going to be very, very clear about this: I will sit in that hot spring as long as I want without hearing any moaning or groaning from you."

Inuyasha gulped as her face turned red and her pupils shrunk in fury to little pinpricks of black. What the hell? He wondered in fear as he tried not to run away. What the hell happened to her? She was fine a minute ago!

"If I do hear anything from you, I. Will. Make. You. Pay." Kagome growled. "And it will hurt and it will be a slow, torturous death."

"Like that's the first time I've ever heard that," Inuyasha snorted.

Kagome's eyes widened and suddenly filled with tears. "I'm so awful!" she whispered. "How could I say that? Oh my god, what have I done?" Dropping her head into her hands, she burst into uncontrollable sobs.

"Wha-?" Inuyasha asked in helpless confusion.

Kagome shook her head wordlessly and continued to cry.

"You've lost your mind," he informed her finally.

Five minutes passed while Inuyasha tapped his foot in impatience.

"Let's go!" he shouted finally. "I've got better things to do!"

"I said no moaning and groaning!!" Kagome snarled, her eyes up and rabidly furious.

Inuyasha nearly swallowed his tongue in fear. What the fuck is wrong with her? She's really lost it, he decided. Inuyasha backed up and sat on the ground. Really, honest-to-fuckin'-god lost it. Despite his lack of conviction about her mental status, Inuyasha said not a word as Kagome stomped over to her bag and pulled out a strange tube from her bag.

"What is that?"

Kagome gasped and turned red. "Bastard!! You know what this is! You are trying to make me uncomfortable!"

"Um, no. I have no idea what it is? Can I eat it?"

"No you can't eat it, you pig! It's a tampon!"

"What do you do with it?"

"A tampon," Kagome drawled out the word, her patience stretching to the breaking point in less than fifteen seconds. "I stick it up my ass when I'm leaking blood from my body."

Inuyasha blanched. "You put that thing up your ass? That's disgusting!"

"Oh, do not play deliberately stupid with me," Kagome warned. "You know I was just referring to my lower area in general. I don't actually stick my tampon in my butt."

"Then say that," Inuyasha snorted.

"I just did."

"Stupid woman. All this fuss. Totally like a female to take something simple like a monthly bleeding and make it into a huge deal."

He squawked as Kagome nabbed his ear and shook him back and forth.

"Huge deal? It is a huge deal! I'm not doing this for me! You think I want to have this hell every four weeks? I'm doing this for the male species! I'm bleeding and have to stick a cotton tube up my butt- and yes! I'm calling it my butt. Mess with my word choice at your own risk!- because a female's body is programmed to one day let some disgusting man come and put his semen into my body, make me pregnant and then I'll have to carry around a parasite for nine god damned months, getting fat, vomiting all the time and stretched marked and burping and farting with no energy and everyone will expect me to have a glow when, in fact, I'll be giving all my nutrients to my fetus and have none left for myself so I'll have to go and get expensive vitamins and then to top it all off, I'll have to push a seven pound baby out of a ten centimeter hole in my vagina for a long, hellish time where I'll either suffer excruciating pain or get a needle that could paralyze me for life because the stupid doctors can't find a better system! And after my nine months and sixteen hours of hell, the disgusting man- who hasn't done a freakin' thing except get lucky nine months ago- will hold the baby up and say, 'look what we made!!'"

Kagome heaved for breath.

"And that is why," she finished finally, "I use a tampon."

Inuyasha nervously backed away. "…I'll just take you to that hot spring now…"

"Oh that is so sweet of you!" gushed Kagome. "I would love to go to a hot spring!"

Nodding quickly, Inuyasha ushered the happy girl through the forest. "Yes, yes, hot springs are wonderful."

"Almost as good as chocolate!" agreed Kagome. "I have some in my bag actually. Mmm…chocolate!"

"Yeah it is good. I took some from your bag last night," Inuyasha replied absently, too late realizing his error.

"YOU DID WHAT?"

"Thehotspringisjustaroundthebendyoucan'tmissitenjoytakeallthetimeyouneed!!" Inuyasha spun around and sprang into a tree and raced a decent amount away.

He peered down but Kagome had already grabbed her things and walked to the hot spring. I didn't think she knew curse words like that.

Sighing in relief, he settled back against the tree to wait. "Lost her mind," he commented in disgust to the air, "completely lost her mind."

But he made sure to comment very, very quietly.

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A/N: It's not that I don't love reviews but someone of them were kind of deragatory. Everyone more satisfied? All those offended souls placated? good. let's all move on...