A Father's bonds

By: Zuki chan 13

Summary: none

Author's notes: I'm pretty sure this chapter will be okay. I guess it'll be long, I'm not sure.

Disclaimer: T-T

(Suzuki's POV)

The pain is returning, I feel like I'm falling into a world of pain and suffering. Where there is nothing but that. I wish Oto-san would catch me, and whisper how everything will be alright. That it's nothing but a bad dream. I want him to be here and tell me he's here and it's over. But as much as I'm pleading that, it won't happen. It's like speaking into the atmosphere and I will slowly fall into myself. If I haven't already reached that point in this nightmare.

I don't want to be ignored. I want someone to see this horrible pain. Somehow I think I can will it all away, but it's almost impossible. How can someone will pain away? I don't want anyone to turn away from me. I want them to heal me, even if it causes me pain. I will just learn how to cope with it. If I want to live, I must.

I'm frightened by seeing my parents crying over me. But if I die I'm afraid it will get worse. I'm sure there will more I have to cope with.

I'm losing it, my control. I can suddenly hear whispers at my ear and death catching on me like a horrible disease. I'm even seeing darkness surround me. I even feel like death is lying next to me, ready to grab me away from my world.

It's getting scarier as I feel more and more pain. I can feel something grabbing me.

"Back off!" I yelled

"I will not cease to exist! And if I do I will not allow myself to be taken by you demons!" I yelled.

I have no idea where that came from. I just felt it ringing in my head. My conscious was pleading me to say that. That was scary, I had no idea that death was this scary.

Now I really don't want to die. I want to go back home and be with my parents. But my wounds fail to let me heal.

It's as if my wounds are crying for the grave but my soul is crying for life.

Now that I know Kenji's true feelings I don't want to die, I want to return his feelings. By loving him, I want to know how it feels to be in love with someone. I want to get married one day and maybe even have a child with the one I love. I want to be loved.

But now that I think about it, I am loved. Oto-san and Oka-chan love me. Hiro and Kenji do too. I love my parents, and my teammates, so I know how it feels to be in love. I also think back to my feelings and I actually do love Kenji.

Maybe I just have to accept it. I may die here. If God wants to take me now, if this sis as far as I was meant to go. I can't stop that. I can't refuse God's dictions. That'll just be selfish of me. I have a desire to live, everyone does, but when it is our time then I hate to say it's our time. If I refuse then I will end up with the demons that tried to take me before, and I don't want that and I don't know who would.

This is the end. Now I know, now I understand. I will not refuse

….tbc….

Author's notes: okay so it wasn't so long, but it was still good. Right?