Disclaimer: See previous chapters.
A/N: Thanks so much for all of your support reviewers! Without you this story would not be here! Many of you have requested a new chapter so, I thought I'd go ahead and up-date. It's a long one. I hope you like it. I will be really busy and probably won't post the new chapter for a while, but it has been started. The nect two may not be as long. If anyone's interested, there will be about 4 more chapter and an epilogue of sorts. okay, I'll shut up and let you read this.
Babygirl
"Yep, it's an original name, but my dad was an original person."
Chapter 12: Return to the South Side
The days that followed seemed like a flurry of glorified everyday activities. Since I had returned, things had been normal around the house. Well, they were back to the way I was getting used to when I arrived. Sister Treadwell called it "getting settled in". I sure didn't feel settled in, though. I felt like I was a guest staying in someone else's nice house. I was careful not to wake people, always polite, and wasn't sure what towels to use in the bathroom. I couldn't just longue around the living room. I wasn't comfortable because, after all these months of living in this house, it still wasn't my home.
The days were routine, manageable, and, somehow, diminishing. I tried, daily, not to think to much of my brothers, but the more I tried to grow close to these new people in my life, the more I felt distant from everyone.
It was as if the only way to face being so close and yet so far away, was to try and erase them from my memory. I didn't realize that was wrong, and I didn't care. I did what I had to do to cope, but, unfortunately, giving up your past to keep the pain away means you sort of give up yourself as well. Eventually, I just sort of fell silent.
I didn't notice it myself until the letter was sent home.
Nelly had asked if I was turning into Miles. Miles asked if I was okay. Sister Treadwell asked if John had a drinking problem. I said no. That was about all I said too.
Eugene was out of the hospital and home, but not back to work yet, and I sure missed him. I spent what time was not scheduled in my room with my radio, drawings, and books I had borrowed from Miles. I was reading a really good one about King Arthur, but it was really long and I hardly left my room. I had plenty to do and (pink or not) I felt comfortable there in my own space. It was private, except that John made it a habit to come and check on me twice a day.
In piano, I hardly said a word. I practiced obsessively and as a perfectionist. I was overly critical of my own work, emotion overwrought, and my fingers were sore. Miss Stephanie loved it. At last, the day of my fist recital approached and, as I did not care much and had found my secret to calming my nerves, I was not nervous. I played well, or so I was told. This meant I had to go to lessons less often.
School was the only place I had fun, It seemed. It was as normal as it had been. I would sneak glances at Mark, and practically squeal if he smiled at me. Nelly would do the greatest, most risky things I'd ever seen. She stole Mark's baseball cards back out of the teachers desk and then gave them to me to give to Mark. I thought it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me.
Of course, when the teacher found out it was gone,I had to confess, because I couldn't have him thinking I'd let a friend take a beating for something I did. The problem was Nelly wasn't about to let a friend take a beating for something she did, so we both confessed. Nelly was whipped on the spot with the strap and I was taken straight to Sister Treadwell. I couldn't believe the change that had occurred. I was being treated like a Soc. Had I finally become one, and, if so how did I feel about it? I wasn't sure at all, so I tried to forget about it- or at least pretend to. Sister Treadwell was very concerned about my change in behavior. I wasn't punished, but a letter was sent home. I didn't bother to read it.
John was concerned to see the letter and asked why I had changed my attitude. I shrugged. John had surprised me more then ever. I wondered why the change in his new attitude. John had seemed like the nice one, overworked, but nice. Then he had become an enraged monster, then a nice father figure. Miles had advised me that to understand a person, you must know why they do the things they do. That's where the things got interesting. I can't find a motive for any of John's actions. The night I had left home, he had been really worried, but had assumed I would go to my brothers. He had called Darry ahead of time, and he had agreed to bring me home. Ever since he'd been watching me like a hawk, trying to get me to finish my food, and even playing catch with me when Milly wasn't looking and he wasn't working. The way he looked at me, I thought he was scared I melt away.
Recently, John had taken it upon himself to try to find out what I wanted for my birthday. I had insisted I didn't want a party, so he promised to get Milly to cancel her plans for one. There was no one to invite, I had explained. Of course there was, but no one they'd want in there house. I almost laughed imagining Eugene, the gang, Nelly, Emily, Miles, and maybe Mark at a party. I guess John was being nice, but he was beginning to bug me. I didn't want him spending money on me to make up for fighting with Milly. It reminded me too much of Steve ad Mark's dads.
Milly on the other hand, was concerned about my choice of friends. So she set up "play-dates" with someone she deemed respectable for me to have as an acquaintance. She picked, of course, the snobbiest and most ridiculous Soc she could have. Sarah was almost as boring as she was arrogant. The afternoons were polite, respectable, and miserable. We played- god forbid- dolls and dress up. We made cupcakes with pink icing. It was utterly disgusting.
One day, out 'moms' decided to have a sleep-over at my house. Sarah left Mass with us and came over for the whole day. All I could think about was how cool it would be to have Emily or Nelly over instead, but I was as nice as I could bare. That evening we sere sitting in the we watched the Ed Sullivan show. Ed Sullivan was not hosting because of a wreck or something, so this new guy was doing it, and guess who was supposed to be on? The King. Miles and have given me the idea; not the sort of thing I expected from him, but it was good all the same. He said that if I really wanted to get rid of her I'd have to make it so that her parents wouldn't let her over anymore.
After Mass last week, I had heard Milly talking with Sarah's mother, Eliza, about heathens dancing and gyrating sinfully all over the place. If we saw him dance on t.v., she'd lose it- I hoped. As we watched, there were acrobats and comedians and folk singers. Then they introduced Elvis Presley and he sang "Hound Dog". Boy it was exciting! I think I just lit up like a lightening bug. Sarah, on the other hand, was taken aback. Her jaw was hanging down and her eyes were wide as a bug. She had hardly ever watched t.v. before, on the count of her mother, who thought it was the devil's tool. I couldn't help it, but I laughed and jumped up and started shaking my legs and swinging my body and jiggled my butt. My brothers had always showed off my impression of Elvis. they thought it was real good. Sarah busted out laughing. As I "gyrated", getting into it, singing along, Sarah sat on the floor and clapped and giggled.
Another spin around the room brought me to face John. He was laughing, I mean out-right laughing. His face was red and his hair fell everywhere. I shook my legs in front of him and he howled with laughter doubling over. Marie stood behind him, arms folded, rolling her eyes and laughing a little in spite of herself. That's when the already unpredictable John did something altogether unexplainable and unexpected: he turned up the t.v. and danced too. He did it better than I did. Then, he threw back his head and howled like a hound dog. I though, 'My God! He's lost it!' Only my brothers would pull something like that, or so I had thought. Sarah looked at John and it appeared like she had stopped breathing, but he twirled me around by the hand and it was like deja vu. Dad used to do the same thing to me.
I was yelling for him and cheering him on when Milly came into the room screaming as if the devil himself was in her living room. I covered my ears to shield them from the banshee yell of terror as she dove for the t.v., turning it off just as the song ended. John wrapped an arm very tightly around my chest and brought me up against him. It wasn't as quite as gentle as my dad or Darry might have done, but rather resembled they way a bank robber may hold a hostage.
Milly looked mad. Her eyes were bigger than Sarah's, and she looked at John like he was an alien who had broken in and stolen her husband. She screamed again and again pulling her hair like people running from zombies in a horror film. With every yell the words became more clear, she looked more and more rabid, nearly foaming at the mouth, and everyone was more still and silent. An awkward hush filled the room. Sarah looked terrified.
"Elvis! What where you thinking? That man on their dancing in their impure way? See no evil, John! You are corrupting the children! What will people say? What will they say?"
Uh-oh. This was going to get worse, I could feel it. Why was she yelling at him like that? Was she asking for it? John tightened his grip on shoulder as she walked towards him. I wiggled uncomfortably.
"I turned it on." I spluttered out.
John leaned down into my ear and whispered, "Shh. Take your friend up-stairs."
I did. I played what Sarah wanted to play, I listened to the Beatles like she wanted, and went to bed when she wanted. I was nice. The next day she went home after school. Milly rode with me silently back. She did not speak to me for three days.
I knew I had done something wrong, but I wasn't sure what. I didn't know what to say or do about it. So id didn't say or do anything. I stayed quiet. I left my insides to wriggle like they were being buried alive, like my feelings were.
Nelly thought they whole story was hilarious, right up to the part where Milly came in. Miles was quick to point out the benefits of the situation. First, I wasn't technically in any trouble. Second, John seemed to really like me. Last and most importantly, I didn't have play with Sarah anymore because when her mom found out what happened she went ballistic and forbid her from coming over ever again. Miles was an eternal optimist.
Nelly went to sister Treadwell's office after lunch and I didn't see her again for the rest of the day. I was kind of worried, but miles told me it was okay and to have a good spring break and happy birthday.
I had forgotten.
After Easter Mass, John had to go run an errand. Milly protested. He said it was for Massey. He said it quietly-I barely heard him- but he said it. When I got home, I went in the living room to watch Mickey Mouse, as I had done frequently recently. The t.v. was gone. I sat and stared at the spot that the carpet showed it had been in until John came home.
I heard him talking to Milly in the kitchen and used my cursed gift of good hearing.
"She's just been staring at it like the t.s.'s there all day. She's hasn't eaten today either. I don't know what's wrong with her. All she wanted to know is if Eugene was coming back soon."
"She likes Eugene."
"That's another thing that bothers me. What's that old man doing hanging around her all the time, anyway?"
"Milly,"
"All I'm saying is that there's no need for any of that. Why don't we get someone young and female."
"Someone like Marie?"
"No! You know I caught her smoking in the house today?"
"I'll tell her Eugene comes back in a week. It may cheer her up."
"I think the only thin that'll make her happy would be if you threw he back to those useless brothers of hers."
Anger swelled hot up inside me and twisted like a dying snake.
"Milly!"
"What? They are useless. It's not normal, that's all I'm saying. She a little girl who doesn't like dolls, or dresses, or pink. She wants to play baseball and follow around gangsters. I am trying, but I'm not a miracle worker, John."
"She makes good grades and plays the piano well. Now, all we have to do is find her something she likes as much as baseball."
Good luck, I thought.
"Listen, I think I've come up with a good little idea for her birthday next week. I'll tell you later. Right now I'm going to take a nap before dinner. I'm exhausted."
He sounded it too.
He came in and stood behind me.
"Have an okay day at school, Baby?"
I nodded.
"Get into any trouble."
I shook my head.
"Good. You miss that awful old box?"
I nodded again.
"Well, it's not good for children's eye staring at a tiny screen for hours. Besides, it was the only thing that would hush her up."
I cringed.
"Its' only a t.v. Find something else to play with until dinner."
It wasn't just a t.v. He didn't understand. No one did. Eugene might have, but he wasn't there. Everyday that I had watched Mickey Mouse, it was because I knew that my brothers and the gang we doing the same thing at the house there. It was my last link to them. Now it was gone. Rather than try and to explain it, I went upstairs and tried to draw a picture of Mickey Mouse. Nelly and Miles had offered to mail pictures and letters to my brothers for me. I sent this one to Emily. I hadn't sent anything to my brothers yet because I didn't want to make it harder on them like Darry said.
Etiquette classes were over, which should have been a blessed event, but to celebrate Milly had planned a fancy dinner of important people in the neighborhood at which I would allowed to eat with them to exemplify my newly acquired manners. I thought it was to show off how much I had learned in the classes and how good I was at it. I was sadly mistaken. However, the night turned out to be very enlightening.
There were 9 guests, myself, John and Milly present. I was required to wear an evening dress, which I went shopping for with Milly. I had to admit, as tomboyish as I was, the baby blue, fluffy dress was very pretty. Milly flattered me as I exited the dressing room and passing strangers complemented her on having a beautiful child. I blushed heavily. I blushed heavily again when I saw how much the dress rang up for. I waited for the uncomfortable cough and quiet voice telling me :"On second thought, let's look somewhere else," but it never came. Milly bought me the most expensive thing I had ever owned, without a second thought. I asked on the way out.
"Isn't it a bit expensive?"
"It's an important night," she winked, "Besides, I'm the adult, let me worry about the money. You're much to young for that."
I nodded. That night, all dressed up, I did feel a little special. Standing before the mirror I had a stroke of brilliance. I went quietly into the master bedroom for the first time and looked around for the camera. I found it in the closet and tried to remove it without rustling anything. I steeped off the box I was standing on and turned around to face the door, but found myself facing something else all together. John. He did not look thrilled to see me. I sort of let slip a tiny gasp and the camera fell from my hands. I squeezed my eyes shut, awaiting the awful, breaking crash. It did not come. I opened one eye cautiously to spy john standing inches from me. The camera caught in his hands. I was impressed.
"Wow. Did you catch that?"
He continued to frown and I thought of the noises I had heard when he had gotten angry with Milly; the deep yells that shook things, the crashed, the hard smacks, the dark bruises and cuts. I shivered.
"Sorry." I breathed. When I dared a glance up again, he was smiling. Not much, mind you, but still smiling. I showed my confusion.
"Sneaking the camera, were we?"
"Sorry." I repeated.
"It's all right. Did you want to take your picture in your new dress?"
"Yes."
He lifted the camera and readied it.
"Smile."
I tried, but it wouldn't work.
"Come on, smile."
I tried again.
"Think about me trying to dance," He whispered. That did it.
I stood at the door with Milly as she introduced me to all the guests. One was the preacher, 7 couples frm the neighborhood, and Milly's unmarried friend and next door neighbor, Jean. Each time she said my name she said it quickly as if trying to get it out fast and avoid embarrassment. It made me feel like a band-aid that must be ripped off quickly to make it less painless. Let me tell you, I did not like feeling like a band-aid.
Still we waited. We waited until the door opened to reveal our final visitor, a man I had never laid eyes on before. This man was very tall with grey, almost white, hair and cool brown eyes. His skin was olive and healthy in complexion, but it failed to hide his age. He was definitely at retirement time, but seemed very business like. Everyone gave their regards to this man as he entered. He held himself with a certain pride and dignity, like Dally but with money. I had never seen anything like it. If his appearance wasn't striking enough, his introduction certainly was. He knelled down to my level and kissed my hand like I was a princess.
Then, Milly said: "Babygirl, this gentleman is Mr. Massey."
A/N: Cliff-hanger anyone?To those more vigilant readers, there were probably a bunch of little mistakes in here, but I had to write it kind of fast and I was babysitting. Sorry. Please review!