A/N: No deer or Edwards were harmed in the making of this chapter
After the shock, and let's face it: the wetness, wore off from Edward's kiss, his words finally sunk in. He said he would do anything to fix my virginess, did that mean…? No, I didn't want him to be drunk for it; didn't he say that if he didn't concentrate he could hurt me? Ya, that would be a great sexual experience, killed before I reached second base. It would prove everything my mom ever told me about sex was true. SEXDEATH!
"Why don't you just kill all the virgin killing whatcha-ma-call-it thingies? That would work out just awesome like." I was trying to use easy words, so as not to confuse his muddled brain. He shot up off the roof, pulling me down with him, and ran into the house, straight into the kitchen. He rummaged through the cabinets while I raided the fridge. It seems that the Cullen's went a little overboard in making sure that they were plenty of snacks for me. They had everything imaginable from Walnuts to Fudge. My eyes were pulled to the can of Spaghettios. Oh my flipping gosh! They had meatballs in them! Praise my gorgeous soon to be family of vampires!! Ignoring the question in the back of my mind of why Spaghettios were in the fridge, I ran over to Edward and gave him a sloppy kiss of my own, he giggled like a schoolgirl and put a pan on his head and threw a strainer at me. I just stared at him.
"Well, silly goose! Put it on! It won't protect you from the Martians evil brain wave if you just look at it! Dur-dur-dur!" Another note to self: No more Mind of Mencia for Edward. I reluctantly pulled it on my head and walked over to my beloved Spaghettios. I popped them in the microwave, hoping that the alien invasion could hold off for a minute. No such luck. Faster than you can "I'm a little lad that loves berries and cream." I was whisked off upstairs, into Edward's room. He flipped over his big comfy couch and hid behind it like a barricade. He grabbed a handful of CD's and started throwing them out the window like they were grenades. Oh, he was gonna regret that later! Was that his brand new Boys Like Girls CD? He just bought that yesterday. I was pulled from my memories of a sober Edward, by drunk Edward clapping his hands. About one third of his CD collection was gone! He didn't look bothered.
"Good thing all those land mines were in my room, huh?" He giggled again. I just laughed, this was even better than I could have imagined. My poor Edward though. Then very distinctly I heard the ding of my Spaghettios. I calmly stood up, walked past a still and silent Edward, and as soon as his door clicked shut behind me, made a break for the pasta deliciousness I knew was waiting for me. I had gotten about halfway across the living room when he hit me. Edward had flung himself at me and rolled us both under his piano.
"Edward! What the crow are you doing?" (A/N: I love it when Bella says Holy Crow, so this is my tribute to it.)
He just calmly and sadly looked at me. "The invasion has begun!"
DA DA DUH!!!!!!!!!!!
A/N: No deer or Edwards were harmed in the making of this chapter. Britney Spears CD's, however, were, I just can't wreck Edward's beloved CD's, so I used a stunt double. What else are they good for?