Now it was on! He wouldn't let me within ten feet of my Spaghettios. He wasn't even this protective that time that we went to that Slip and Slide convention, and he knew that those two words plus me would equal, at the very least, very nasty bruises. But that's a story for another time, maybe in the fabulous story that is The Weird and Wonderful Tales of the Cullen's, the author (A/N: cough, me, cough!) of that story is really fantastic. As is the author of The Bleeding Cloak. (A/N: Shoutout to my girl, Micah aka Freak a Geek!) Back to my current predicament; Edward thought that the bing! Of the microwave was really the war cry of the evil virgin killing Martians, hereafter referred to as the EVMs. Where in the hella where Alice and Emmett? Surely they wouldn't leave a dangerous and drunk vampire in the hands of me, considering what happened last time. Just as I was about to grow angry, they came in the front door with Toys R Us bags in their hands.
"What are all those for?" I asked as Edward shot out from underneath the piano and sat on the floor in front of his siblings, apparently the EVM invasion had stopped in its tracks as soon as toys showed up. Emmett patted Edward on the head and pulled a Dora the Explorer doll out of the bag and threw it out the front room and towards the town. Edward, like a little puppy dog, ran after it. Bella and Alice drew deep breaths and…
"EMMETT CULLEN! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? YOU GO GET HIM RIGHT NOW!" They both pointed out the door and when he ran out, slammed it behind him.
Emmett POV!!!
Well, what else was I supposed to do with a Dora doll? She was so annoying! "Come on vomenous! Everybody let's go!" She makes me sick and her little monkey too! Edward had found the Dora doll and had climbed a tree with it. In between shouts of, "Swiper! No swiping." he threw acorns at my head. It was ticking me off more every time. Finally I hit him on the head with a stick, and he apparently passed out. Wow, I must have hit him pretty hard; I didn't even know we could do that! Now I have an excuse if Carlisle ever catches wind of this: it's a learning experience! I laughed at my own cleverness, actually I more of laughed so hard I couldn't stand up and I dropped Edward. He was a faker, he wasn't really passed out! He jumped up, screamed fire, stripped off all of his clothes, and ran down the street.
Back to Bella's POV!
Just at me and Alice headed into town, we saw a very naked and still very drunk Edward running past us like Will Ferrell in Old School. As I pulled up next to him, I realized that this was just the beginning.