Disclaimer: Gravitation is not mine. I'll get over it someday.

Shatter CH 4. Shuichi POV.

Once I'm awake enough to register where the heck I am, I realize I've got my head in a toilet and I'm barfing my brains out.

Hmm. Must've eaten something bad.

After wretching for another half an hour or so, I'm so, so very miserable that I really wouldn't mind dying.

Then I feel terrible for thinking that thought..

I didn't mean it, God, really.

Slowly, very slowly, I clutch the toilet seat, watching my knuckles turn white, and lift myself off the cold, tile floor. I'm very wobbly. I try to laugh.

I see myself in the mirror. Is that me? I look terrible, like I just got run over or something.

Hee. That sounds like something Yuki would say.

Yuki.

A tiny voice in the back of my head is crying. It's saying, very, very softly, ringing like a little, broken bell, I'm sorry, Yuki.

And right now, just like a pie to the face or a dodgeball to the groin, it hits me. I remember everything. Higuchi-san and her blue-streaked hair, her purring, manly voice, giving me compliments it didn't mean, the smell of too much alcohol on her breath as she moved in too close to me, the taste of it still lingering on her lips as she...

I...

I cheated on Yuki. I did. I am the most horrible...

Imagine the lowest, lowest living micro-organism ever, lower than pond scum.

I am the gum stuck on the bottom of its shoe.

I want to die now, I do. I need to die.

I don't deserve to live.

I don't deserve Yuki.

I glare, as meanly as I possibly can, at that pathetic, disgusting person glaring back at me through the mirror.

I hate him. I hate me.

With all the force I can muster, I punch him, and I watch him, and me, shatter into a million tiny, broken pieces, racing toward the ground, glittering under the last bit of light they'll ever see.

And then I throw up again.

-

"Shuichi!"

A voice, a deep voice. A deep, worried voice. Hiro, I think.

Knock, knock, knock. God, that's loud. But really, it's nothing compared to the pounding someone's doing on the inside of my forehead.

Knock, knock. "Shuichi? I'm coming in."

I can't see very well. Everything's blurry and fuzzy. It's kind of cool, actually.

But even so, I can tell that Hiro is shocked, surprised, and possibly very, very mad.

"What – What did you...? Oh my God, your hand! Shuichi, what did you...?"

He's panicking.

That is what I call the understatement of the year.

He's running around the tiny bathroom, trying not to step on any glass, or me (somehow, I ended up on the floor), with his head in his hands, muttering, whimpering, and occasionally letting out a very frustrated yell.

"I'm sorry about your mirror," I say weakly. Was that even me? That wasn't my voice. That was the voice of someone who's absolutely, unmistakably hopeless.

Okay, maybe it was me.

"The mirror," Hiro says, struggling to sound calm, I can tell, "is the least of my worries right now."

Oh, Hiro. You're such a good friend.

Guess I don't deserve you either. I'll just hurt you. I'm a life-wrecker.

And looking around this place, I can conclude that I am most definitely a bathroom-wrecker too.

"Shuichi, this cut is really deep." Hiro sounds so concerned. I can't see him though. He's kneeling down next to me now, and the closer something comes to me, the fuzzier it gets.

How did I end up with such a great friend?

I feel tears welling up in my eyes. Ow. It's making my headache worse. Owie ow. I shut my eyes as tight as I can and feel the tears slide down my cheeks, so cold.

"I'm gonna take you to the hospital," Hiro's telling me, but I'll admit I'm not really listening.

I turn my head to try and face him – ow ow ow – and I notice my hand.

Oooooh, that's a lot of blood.

Everything gets a lot fuzzier all of a sudden.

-

A/N: Hee, this chapter and the next one are my personal favorites. I like angst.

You know what I listened to while typing this? "Baby One More Time". How odd, ne? -laughs-

sayuri-girl: Thanks so much:D The way I play with the characters, eh? Well, that's the fun of fanfic, isn't it? ;D So glad you're enjoying Shatter. -hands you virtual candy of your choice-

Okay, I really don't wanna sound like I'm complaining but...well, this story has almost 600 views and only three reviews. I'm extremely grateful that people are reading this at all, but I really would like to know what you think of it. Even if it's mean. My greatest interest is in improving my writing.

So please, please, if you have the time, a review would be lovely.

Thank you very much for reading! Love and hugs, Shu-chan :D