Disclaimer: I have about seventy-five cents to my name. Do you really think I'd own Gravitation?

Shatter CH 5. Eiri POV.

"He what?"

"Well, I'm not sure exactly," Nakano tells me, his voice sounding even more exhausted than it did last night. I can't imagine I sound any better, especially judging by the purplish circles under my eyes. Attractive. "From what I've gathered, he assaulted my mirror."

That doesn't sound right. Shuichi would never assault anything, not even that infernal cockroach we faced last summer. He'd cringed like mad, watching me squash it (quite violently, I'll admit), and claimed to have nightmares for a week afterwards.

"Don't visit him," Nakano's warning me.

Shuichi's in the hospital.

Because he punched a mirror.

Suddenly, it all clicks.

"I won't," I tell him, and I'm not lying. I chomp on my cigarette, the closest thing to an anger management exercise I can think of right now.

I then grab the object closest to me, my nice little glass ashtray, and throw it as hard as I can. Watching it smash into the wall, I can almost feel it breaking.

Or maybe that was my heart.

Ooh, that was good, Eiri. Remember it for one of your books.

"Good," Nakano says, and without further ado, he hangs up.

I know where Shuichi was last night. Not where he was, exactly, but what he was doing.

He did something terrible, and he knows it.

And he punched that mirror because he couldn't stand the person staring back at him.

-

I've never particularly liked this building. Sure, it's nice, sure, it's pretty, but does it have to be so freaking ostentatious?

It's like the white leather couches with their tasseled throw pillows, the oversized and overly decorated vases, and the two-hundred-thousand dollar paintings of that crap they call modern art are smiling smugly down at me, as if to say, 'Look how much better we are than you'.

The painkillers must be getting to me.

Once inside the claustrophobia-inducing silence of the elevator, I give my head a good shake. I'm already so mad I can hardly see. I don't need to be freaking high on top of it.

"Eiri-san." Seguchi looks pleasantly surprised to see me, as he always does. He gives me one of those soulless smiles, but as I walk closer to him, he knows. He doesn't know what, but he knows. The smile vanishes as quickly as it appeared, and he takes me into his arms.

I don't say anything. I don't need to. He knows.

I want to cry, but I don't. Instead I close my eyes, and concentrate on going numb. I erase every feeling inside me. The incessant pounding in the back of my head, it's gone. The scratchy tightness in my throat, gone. Even the stinging in the palms of my hands into which I'm digging my fingernails. Nothing.

I can't feel it, but I can hear it.

The resounding noise of my very heart, shattering into more pieces than I can count, and falling, falling, with the acid rain I hear pouring outside, slamming against the window, then sliding down the glass, slipping into oblivion.

I can hear it, but I can't feel it.

I'm numb.

I don't even feel myself cry.

-

I was sixteen. Of course I was.

Everything happened when I was sixteen.

I hadn't eaten or drank anything for a whole week. I don't think I did anything, really.

Sometimes I'm not sure I was anything.

Seguchi sat me down at his kitchen table. He informed me that I was not to even think about leaving the table until I finished the lightly-buttered piece of whole wheat toast and glass of water placed in front of me.

At first, I had trouble even lifting my arm to pick up the piece of bread. Every part of me felt heavy and dead. My eyelids, my throat. My heart.

It took ages, it seemed, just to chew the small bite I'd managed to tear off. I remembered that in the short week following the incident, as Seguchi called it, I'd retreated into silence, not so much as grunting when asked a question. So many questions. It felt strange, moving my mouth again. I think my teeth forgot how to chew.

I had trouble swallowing. My throat was so dry, I imagined it covered in dust and cobwebs. It felt like it was closing up, tighter and tighter, threatening my very existence. I picked up the glass of water with a small, shaking hand and took a tiny sip. It was gloriously cold, liquid magic, sliding down my throat. Gulping down that glass of water at that moment was probably the greatest pleasure I'd known in my young life.

I then proceeded to run to the bathroom and vomit. I guess, along with everything else, my body forgot how to digest food.

Wiping my mouth with toilet paper, I stood up, and in the mirror I caught my first glimpse of it.

The monster who murdered sensei.

It was hideous. It was revolting. I wanted nothing more to smash the very life out of it, and have it gone, dead, forever.

And so I did.

Seguchi bolted in almost immediately, gently taking me by my bleeding hand and leading me out so I could go to the hospital and get twelve stitches sewn into said hand. Good times.

But I'll never forget looking down at the broken, jagged pieces of glass, scattered across the linoleum-tiled floor, and still seeing it, the monster, reflecting – staring – right back at me.

-

"Oh, Eiri-san," Seguchi's saying, in that voice, that velveteen voice. Even I've noticed how hard I'm crying now, so much so that my shoulders are shaking and I have to gasp for breath every so often.

Seguchi's not smiling, but he's not frowning, as he lifts his hand and wipes a tear from my eyes with his thumb. He gently cups his hand around my face, holding me, keeping me safe. From myself.

I close my eyes and allow myself to melt into the smooth, smooth silk of those gloves he's always wearing. For one short moment, I forget Shuichi and everything else wrong in the world.

Then Seguchi kisses me.

-

A/N: Was that a cliffhanger? Oh, I'm sorry. Hee.

This chapter is, like...my baby. -laughs- This idea formed in my mind, and I was like "Ooh, I dunno if I can pull this off." But I think that, for me, I did really well, and I am quite proud of myself. So, please please please, if you have anything to say about it, please do! Say it, I mean. Tell me what you liked, if anything, and if not, what you didn't like. Or you can ask me about my favorite kind of pie or something. I'd just like to talk. -laughs again-

sayuri-girl: Meep, I'm so glad you're enjoying this. Thanks so much:D

Yuki-Mizu: You made my day! You review just like I do, long and rambling. Which I love! Thanks so much for your input, I really appreciate it. I think that Shuichi overreacted a bit as well, and that is indeed how I meant for it to be. He is Shuichi, after all. ;D Thank you so very much, I'm happy you like it!

murmuring'.breeze-: MISTRESS!!! Lol, everyone's gonna think we're so odd. You're really much too kind to me! Thank you so much, though!! You really should get into Gravi. It's good stuff. ;) And high-five for angst-lovers! -highfive- Thanks again!!

CH 6 may take a while to put up. There are a few directions this story could go in, and I'm trying to figure out which will work best. Which, for me, will take a while. This author's note is getting as long as the actual chapter, isn't it? Oops. Thanks so much for reading!! -Shu-chan