BACKKK!

WHERE WE LEFT OFF

"F-F-Fanfiction? That's that..." Tsunade' eyes widened when she saw those large Gothic letters scrawled on the book Kakashi held out for her.
"Yes Lord Hokage. That's what happened." Coincidently, Jiraiys at that time decided to burst in. "Hey baby. I just popped by to tell you that-"

In The Dog House

The whole community was gathered around a bulletin board in the center of the village. Many voices cried out in wonder, rage, and confusion.
"How is this possible?" Demanded one man, pointing to the newest bulletin.

ATTENTION ALL CITIZENS

A TEMPORARY DECREE IS ACTIVE. ABSOLUTELY ALL FORMS OF WRITING ARE BANNED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. EXISTING WRITING MAY STAY. THOSE FOUND IN THE ACT OF PRODUCING MORE WRITING WILL BE SUBJECT TO SEVERE PUNISHMENT

-Hokage Tsuande.

Tsunade had really gone off her rocker. A severly bruised old man nearby was waling. "I'm out of business! That crazy old hag! I'm ruined!" Jiraiya cried, causing several other people to become alarmed. Another man approached him and nudged him on the side.

"Hey," he said in a low voice. "No one ever said you can't draw. No one ever said no pictures. So, uh, better keep that hentai coming!" Jiraiya perked up, mumbled something, and decided he was right. He took of to the nearest corner store.

The bell above the door jingled as Jiraiya entered. the clerk peered over at him from a magazine he was reading. He watched him rummage though a few aisles. "Hey, man. Where's the pens?" Jiraiya asked.
"Pens? Are you crazy? We don't sell those anymore. No writing utensils whatsoever." The clerk raised an eyebrow.

Meanwhile

"Okay, you ready Neji? I'm going to get you this time!" Tenten could feel it. She had him this time. Her and Neji had been relentlessly practicing for days straight, and she finally thought this time she could break through his chakra barrier. If she did, it would be a major achievment in her young life. She was defining who she was.

"Come on then," Neji gave her a rare smile and she prepared to attack. Tenten whipped out two scrolls and prepared to do her jutsu. She placed them on the ground and scribbled something on one, and placed some kunais on the other. She could feel it, it would work this time. Everything she was working for, today, would come-

POOF!

Suddenly four ANBUs popped into the air and grabbed her. Neji looked shocked.
"What's going on here?" She demanded.
"Sorry, miss," one barked harshly. "You're in violation of the new decree"
"What did I do?" She demanded. The ANBU pointed to the scroll.

Shikamaru gets a second chance.
"Listen, you're a Chunin now!" Sakura had told him. "I'm trusting you not to fall asleep. This is serious!"
He was forced to take it seriously. Accompanied by none other than Pakkun.
"And Pakkun will watch you, just in case." So here sits Shikamaru, and Pakkun, inside, keeping an eye of the new book of Fanfiction.

"It's fine kid," Pakkun said. "Go to sleep. I'll watch it." He expected Shikamaru to protest, but no sooner did he hear snores from the other room. So.
...It worked. Pakkun couldn't wait to get his paws on that book he heard so much about. Afterall, a dog needs some action too! Pakkun's soft dog paws opened the heavy cover. Kakashi thought he was overdoing it when he taught Pakkun to read, and maybe he was right.

an excerpt from
Take it All Off by Annwyd Rated M

"You still owe me money from jounin poker night." was what she had said at his door, but he was already slightly drunk and apparently planning to try for more. Somehow, he still had his mask on even as he opened a new bottle of sake.

For some reason, that irritated Anko to no end.

"Hey," she said. "I have a better idea."

"Oh?"

"Remember that time during the chuunin exams I slapped you on the ass?"

"How could I forget," Kakashi said as he procured a bowl for the sake.

"That was fun. Wanna fuck?"

Shikamaru was barely concious, now, but he forced himself to open his eyes because of that uncomfortable feeling on his leg. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked down.
"HEY! Get OFF me dog!" No one likes to wake up to a dog humping their leg. Pakkun stopped.
"Heh heh. Sorry kid. I found this bottle of sake in your dad's closet and me and the book had a good, hiccup, time."

"Okay, I want a meeting with all Jounins, now! We need to be able to handle these kinds of situations!" Anko demanded, sending two Chunins off with the news. So far 3 guys had asked her on dates. HOT guys. Simple minded, hot guys, that couldn't remember apartment building numbers or addresses that she wasn't allowed to write down for them.

A new mob formed in a close knit circle around the proctor, Anko.
Several of them included Asuma, Kurenai, Kakashi and Pakkun. Everyone whispered not so quietly about the new catastrophe, about what their students may have read, about what they wanted to read, and about what they could not write.

"Okay, listen up, everyone!" Anko commanded in that forceful voice. Pakkun, at Kakashi's heels, nudged his leg. Kakashi looked down questioningly.

"What is it?" He whispered. Pakkun wagged his eyebrows, if dogs have any, and motioned towards Anko.
"This has been going on to long and we-" Anko paused for a high pitched yelp, then continued, "-we have to put some organization into this. Our lifestyles are being interrupted! Our-" An angry cry broke out from the back.

"I can't write my porn!"
"Jiraiya are you a Jounin?"
"What? No new porn?" Someone else said, and it wasn't even Kakashi.

"Hey, hey, hey! That's not what we're here for!" Anko shouted above all the other injured cries. "What are we here for? What can we do?" asked Kurenai. Anko sighed.
"Put an end to this. Okay, who has...the book?"

"I entrusted it to one of my students to give to someone else," Kakashi said.
"Yeah, that Shikamaru kid. He just can't stay awake," Pakkun said.
"H-He's sleeping?" Asuma said, and everyone turned to glare at Kakashi, who turned to glare at Pakkun, how was so sleeping in the doghouse tonight.

"Shikamaru! Shika?" Ino barged in his house again. No matter how many times he told her to knock, she insisted on letting herself in. This time he wasn't awake to nag her, so when she found Shikamaru sleeping she had freedom. At first she tried to wake him; she shook him, poked him, and whispered something questionabe in his ear.

He still didn't wake up. Ino smiled and rubbed her hands together. Plans swirled around her head.

Plan#1: Raid fridge.

Plan#2: Find Diary

Plan#3: Find out Shikamaru likes Temari

Plan#4: Put bleach in Temari's shampoo.

After Ino was done hitting the fridge she went back to check on Shikamaru. He was still sleeping soundly, and to her delight she found a book nestled under his arm.

"Yes! This was easier than I thought!" As soon as she layed a hand on the 'diary' the lazy boy stirred. "Damn, I might wake you up..." Ino placed a finger on her chin. "Now how can I...?" A lightbulb sprang above her head as she ran to the nearest bedroom. She flew to the bookshelf and snatched a random book from it. She returned to Shikamaru and hastily switched the 'diary' with the other book. The wicked Witch of the the West couldn't have produced a more evil laugh. The perpetrator fleed the scene.

Once Ino reached a safe distance, she sat under a cherry blossom tree. Anyone that saw her would have wondered silently to themselves and made a special note of the day they saw Ino reading a book. What could be THAT interesting that Ino herself would read it? As she opened the great black book of fanfiction, this is what she read.

an excerpt from
I Know You Like Me By Spartanica (Warning Rated M)

Shikamaru didn't know how he gotten roped into this. Sure, Naruto was a friend. Sort of. But parties weren't his thing. They were so stupid. People have birthdays all the time. Why did they have to celebrate it?

Ino shook her head. That Shikamaru! Did he think he was so great that he had to write about himself in third person! And when did Naruto have a party? She read deeper until the events of the party took a turn...

Temari was pulling off Ino's dress in a tantalizingly slow way while Ino's hand tugged at Temari's skirt. The blonds undressed each other within moments, then Temari ran her hands down Ino's sides, gently pushing her onto her back. Ino's neck arched in pleasure when Temari reached Ino's thighs. She lowered her mouth, tongue flicking along Ino's skin.

Shikamaru felt a shudder in his body. He couldn't move. This was...Too much. When Temari's lips reached Ino's womanhood, Ino's hands moved up to tangle in the dirty blond's hair. "Temari-chan..." She moaned, head flung back.

That was it. Shikamaru couldn't take it any longer. He moved forward, now both fully undressed and fully aroused, and brought both blonds horizontal alongside him. He kissed Temari fiercely, tongue pushing it's way into her mouth and tangling with hers.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SHIKAMARU YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR YOUR SICK FANTASIES! YOU CAN'T HAVE ME AND TEMARI BOTH DAMN IT!" She was SO going back to Sasuke!

A few jounin burst inside the house.
"Damn, he is sleeping," Asuma told Kakashi and Kurenai, with Pakkun nodding his head knowingly. Then came closer and froze.
"Are you serious?" Kurenai gasped, staring at the Hentai in Shikamaru's relaxed grip. "Asuma, what are you teaching him?"

Somewhere, in some bathroom, blond hair is falling limply to the floor and Temari is screaming wretchedly.Kankourou rushed to the bathroom and sniffs.
"Why deos it smell like bleach in here?"

A few painful hours later, Kankourou found something interesting underneath the piles of Temari's blond hair.

to be continued...

sorry fo rthe shortness