The morning was cold and damp, an icy wind blew through the camp, but Kara barely noticed the chill. Her heart pounded so loudly she felt certain that it would burst. Glancing over her shoulder, she glimpsed vague, as figures moved quickly around her. "Just get me out of here, Sam!" She was starting to get nervous. Over the past couple of months, Kara acted in ways that she never has before. She grew soft and afraid so quickly. She needed to get back to the way she was before Leoben kidnapped her. The kick your ass Starbuck that everyone was afraid of. She had to get over this fear somehow. She couldn't tell if the people staring at her were friendlies or frakking NCP. She kept her head down as Sam wrapped his arm around her slim waist, directing her to the hideout.
By the time they reached the entrance of the hideout, it had taken the couple over an hour of twisting and turning, back tracking, ducking and hiding until Sam was certain that they weren't followed. Anders was limping by the time they entered the dimly lit interior. He'd taken a bad step on some slippery unstable ground and rolled his ankle. Still after it had happened, he knew that stopping could possibly mean Kara's recapture. Knowing if that were to happen, he wouldn't be able to get her back.
"Anders! What happened?" Chief Tyrol asked interpreting the looks on their faces correctly.
"I don't know Chief, but the NCP were sniffing around this morning. I didn't think it safe for Starbuck." The chief nodded and returned to his work as Sam pulled his wife into his arms. "Lords sweetheart, you're shaking." He held her tighter.
Kara was starting to relax more and more, knowing that she was safe again. As Sam pulled her into him, all of her fears were starting to melt away. She forced a smile, but he could tell she was still frightened. "I'm fine, Sam. Now I'm fine, I'm just cold that's all." Kara was lying through her teeth and she never did get away with her lies with Sam.
"Kara, you're not good at lying," he stated holding her tighter. He gradually felt her trembling cease. He knew her to well. She wasn't cold at all. She was scared out of her mind. Scared that somehow Leoben is waiting out there to take her back to her prison.
Kara did notice earlier that Sam was walking funny and looked down at his feet. She saw that he wasn't putting any weight on his right foot. It wasn't like him to injury himself like this, being an athlete and all. "Sam what did you do, babe?" She pointed down to his foot and looked him straight into his blue eyes.
When she pulled away and inquired after his foot he brushed away her concern. He felt like an idiot for being so careless however there wasn't much he could do about it at this point. "I just took a bad step is all. It'll be fine and I've dealt with much worse. Remember when we were playing against the Panthers and Williamson came down on my side? I was benched with three broken ribs for two months. This isn't anything." Sam tried to make light of it but it was concerning him that it was throbbing along brilliantly in tempo with his heartbeat.
"Yeah I remember that game alright. Helo and I lost twenty cubits on that game. The C-Buc's best player got injured that game," she looked up at him with an ear-to-ear grin. "Why don't you sit down and let me have a look at that." If Kara knew anything about injuries, she was a pro at detecting and fixing them.
Against Sam's assurances that he was fine, Kara made him sit down. She knelt at his feet and unlaced his boot. He was determined not to let her see that it hurt as badly as it did. He knew that most times in this kind of injury was more of a bother than anything but still he didn't want to worry her any more than she already was. Kara carefully pulled off Sam's boot. His face cringed just a bit but she made it look like she didn't notice. "It doesn't look bad, just a small sprain." Carefully she put his shoe back on and laced it up.
Kara had spoken little during the time they were in the hideout. Sam could tell she was deeply disturbed by the latest revelation, the NCP searching the camps. As if her whole life hadn't been turned upside down already. Anders could tell just by the way she held herself that she was glad of the excuse to get her mind off of the events of this morning. That she was absolutely terrified by the oddness of the NCP.
Sam was thankful that he'd been able to get her out safely but that she was virtually a prisoner again; that irony wasn't lost on him. He reached down and cupped her chin gently tipping her face up so that their eyes met.
As he grabbed held onto her face, she hesitated to stare at him. Yet again another habit she had picked up. A feeling of overwhelming peace washed over her though, carrying away all her pains, fears, and doubts. She stared upward at him, drinking in every plane and angle of his face. Slowly her hazel eyes met up with his azure blue eyes. Nothing in her past experiences with Sam had prepared her for a moment like this.
"I swear to you Kara that I will die before I let them get a hold of you again. I love you Kara Anders now and forever." He said in his soft slightly husky baritone voice.
She had no idea how to respond. "I know you would do anything and everything to keep me safe. But you made me a promise, remember?" Her chin held high, looking Sam squarely in the eye. "I love you too, Sam." She slowly got to her feet, leaned over and kissed him.
Something was on her mind and it was chewing Kara up inside, Sam could tell. She starts to get a wrinkle right over her nose when she did. Sam watched the play of emotion across her face. "What is it babe?" He asked, getting a terrible sinking feeling within the pit of his stomach. He felt her press a kiss to his lips and the sense of foreboding rose. She pushed back and walked over to the wall.
Looking back at him, Kara choked on her own words. Her stomach was tossing and turning, she felt like she was going to throw up. She didn't even know how to say it and why she didn't tell him in the first place. She grew nervous as she thought about it but told him bluntly. "Sam...I have something to tell you...and I don't even...I don't even know if you are going to like it." His face went from concerned to blank in two seconds. She wrapped her arms around her stomach as she stood there in front of him, looking away from him as she bit her lip.
Ignoring his foot, Anders stood and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Kara you are my life and my love. You should know that you can tell me anything at any time." He gazed deeply into her expressive eyes seeing the agony of whatever it was she was wrestling with. It scared him but nothing would make him turn from her.
"I..." Kara swallowed hard. "...I have to go back to the apartment."
"What?" Sam snapped back quickly. Just that one word cut Kara like a thousand knifes. "Why?"
"Sam… I have a… daughter back there." She felt Sam yank back from her. She looked him straight in the eyes. "I have to get Kacey and get her out of there."
Sam stumbled back as he stared at her. She was badly shaken he could tell. He closed his eyes as pain knifed through his heart. "A... kid... no Kara, you were never pregnant. You were gone for four months... Gods were you pregnant before...?" Hope flared in his eyes that it was theirs. Not that the timing worked out at all but then he wasn't thinking straight either.
This is it, she blew it. This was the end of the line for them. A tear managed to fall down her cheek. "I knew this was going to happen. Frak! Why now?" She turned away from him, but she was getting the same reaction from Tyrol too. "Gods!" She turned back around.
Sam had all but forgotten Tyrol's presence there. "Can you give us a minute please?" He asked the other man. The Chief nodded, giving the couple one last horrified look before departing out of the hideout.
"Yes Sam, I was never pregnant to start out with. I can't… you know they took one of my ovaries. Doc Cottle said that the chances of me conceiving a baby..." She didn't finish. It was like a knife to her heart that she couldn't give Sam something she knew he wanted. A child, their child.
"Are you telling me that they fertilized one of your eggs and a child was conceived?"
Kara nodded "Only a few things were undamaged when I blew the frak out of that place. My ovary being one of them."
"Who is the father Kara?" He asked dreading the answer.
Kara was trying to buy herself sometime so she didn't have to answer the last question he asked. She let out a heavy sigh and looked down at the ground. "The father…?" She stared Sam straight in the face and swallowed hard. "The father... is Leoben. They took my egg and his genetic material, and made her."
Sam's throat worked but no sound came out. He ran his hands through his hair, aching for her. "Gods baby... how do you know that... this kid is actually yours? How... he could just be screwing more with you." Sam said. He couldn't stand being parted from her another minute. He strode the few steps that separated them and pulled her into his arms.
Kara placed her head on his chest. She listened to his heartbeat, it was racing. "It's not like when I first saw her, I instantly was attached. At first I knew that I wasn't her mother and had nothing to do with her. I called her an it, thing and that at first because that's all she was to me. But then Kacey fell and cracked her head the first hour I was with her, then I became attached to her when she was in the hospital. The possibility of me being her mother came to me, and Leoben might have been telling me the truth for once. Please try to understand this Sam. I'm just as confused as you are."
"I'm sorry, it just shocked me sweetheart. No matter who she is, she is a child and doesn't deserve to be left in the hands of that psycho skin job. Its okay Kara, I do understand okay? What do you want me to do? I'll go back there and get her out if you want. I'll take her somewhere she'll be safe..."
Why the hell was he feeling as if his heart were being ripped from his chest? This child whether or not it was a part of his wife could be a point of contention between them. Not that Sam would ever blame a child or something she had no control over. The child was an innocent be she human or Cylon hybrid, still Sam felt as if he were losing Kara all over again and there wasn't anything he could do to stop it.
Kara could see it in his eyes, he was hurting just as much as she was. Why did I have to bring it up to him? Guess I have been gone from Kacey too long. "Sam? I want you to know that... I didn't ask for this to happen. I never did, I never wanted it. I just want her safe, either safe with us or safe with someone else. I just want her out of there. I don't want her to break us up. I love you so much." Kara's heart was shredded in pieces as she looked up at him. Her cheeks were stained with tears once again. "I'm sorry, this is all my fault."
"Listen to me Starbuck. This will never, I repeat, NEVER tear us apart. This is not your fault in the least. Did you ask to be kidnapped? Did you ask him to hold you against your will and subject you to his insane notions? Was there anything you could have done to get away from him?" He asked.
Kara shook her head. "No I didn't."
Sam thumbed away her tears, tears that she'd been shedding far too much for his strong, fly in the face of convention Starbuck. "You know you did everything in your power and there was nothing you could have done different. I love you Kara Anders and we'll get through this just as we'll get through every other bump in our lives. Together."
Suddenly at a loss for words, a moment hung between them, laden with emotions. Kara knew how much she meant to him, how much he wanted to take care of her. For once, it seemed, their enemies were far away. No pressing danger threatened them right now. It was just the two of them, alone together. "Are you sure?" Everything had changed in their lives these past four months, their old lives were gone.
"Kara I'm positive."
"You're right Sam, you're right. I didn't ask for the past four months to happen. And you sure didn't ask for it either." Then she became silent again, Sam leaned forward and kissed her. She responded tentatively for the first few heartbeats, and then accepted his kiss. "So what do we do now?" She entreated huskily as she kissed him again. Her eyes gratefully devoured every inch of his face as he gazed at her in wonder. He pulled her to him with surprising strength. Kara felt a wall crumble inside of her, the wall she had built to keep Leoben out.
Sam felt a change come over his wife, it was as if she allowed him fully inside once again. He smiled tenderly at her accepting her fierce kiss. He didn't even realize that the slight resistance he'd been getting from her had been directed at him. Of course he was another man trying to direct her life just as her captor had been. Sam loved her, but then Leoben had been constantly telling her the same thing. Sam was hiding her away for her protection as well as for his own selfishness for he wouldn't lose her again. Leoben locked her away for precisely the same reason.
"I just realized something." Sam admitted leading her over to a table and chairs.
"What?" She asked.
"I'm doing the same thing ... he did to you. I don't want you to feel as if you're a prisoner again. I love you. I'm a selfish man Starbuck. I find that I am only half alive without you. But I know that you don't want to be protected all the time. You're a soldier. Whatever happens, I want it to be with you," he confessed. He got that tight feeling in his chest again and resolutely swallowed the accompanying cough.
"Don't say that Sam. Don't you frakking say that. You're not like him at all. Leoben had me as his prisoner for his own pleasure and fun. Sam, you are doing this because you love me and care about me too much." Kara pulled out a chair and motion to Sam to sit down in it, but he didn't. Kara walked over to the weapons cabinet and picked out a couple of sidearms and holster. Sam joined in with her.
"Okay," he said. "Tell me what we need to do to free the little girl. Let's get what we need and go."
Kara laid a restraining hand upon his arm. "No," she said softly. Sam looked at her in confusion. Her eyes avoided his. She hesitated, obviously uncomfortable. "I'm going alone," she insisted.
What did she mean by that? Earlier she said that we have to get Kacey out of there, he thought to himself before speaking out loud."Like hell you are! There is no frakking way you are going anywhere near that psycho without me Starbuck!" He informed her. By the look in his deep blue eyes there was nothing short of knocking him out that would prevent him from following her. And if that were to happen there would be hell to pay if she went off on her own.
"Anders." Kara never called him by his last name unless she was beyond angry with him.
Sam stood there shaking his head, his face was slowly turning red. "I mean it Kara! No way are you going to do this alone so you can forget it right now!" He yelled right in her face.
Kara placed her holster around her hips and thigh. She wasn't paying any attention to him lecturing to her. She was about to place her sidearm in her holster when Sam knocked it out of her hands and it fell to the ground. "Sam don't make me do this. Don't think I won't..." She raised her arm about to knock him down and run for it but he blocked her.
Sam grabbed Kara's hand and brought her into him, holding on to her. "Kara!"
"Sam stop it! You can't, I won't let you," she screamed at him. Both of them acting like children fighting over the same toy as they wrestled. Kara finally stopped. "Fine! But we do it my way."
"No, we do this together or so help me, I will tie you to that bed over there and keep you here until Galactica arrives. Don't you see baby? I'm no longer just some fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants Pyramid player. I have you to think about as well as every since human on this frakking planet, including a child named Kacey. So we do this together." He leaned in close and pinned her with his steady gaze. "I want a promise from my wife. I want you to promise me that you will not do anything to compromise yourself if Leoben corners us. No telling him that you'll stay with him to free me."
Kara looked up at him with one of her glares. "I understand Sam. You have changed so much during these past four months, which makes me more proud to be your wife. I promise, only if you promise me something back. Once we get Kacey and get out of there, that you protect her and if..." she sighed heavily. "...if something did go wrong that you and her would keep on going. I will only be a few steps behind if this should happen."
Sam wasn't going to be swayed. He shook his dark head. "Get used to this Starbuck, on the ground I watch your back. Up there," he pointed to the skies, "I differ to you." Then he thought about it for a while before flashing one of his old grins at her. "That is in a Viper. Is there room in one of those things for two?" He gathered her in his arms and forestalled any talking for several long moments. When he broke the kiss, both of them were breathing heavily from want and need of each other. Sam took hold of her hand and threaded his fingers through hers. "I will protect you and Kacey. You have my word as my bond."
"Okay, we'll wait until night fall to go there. Leoben usually goes to bed shortly after ten. But since I'm gone I have no clue now." Sam looked down at her with a huge grin on his face.