A/N: Once again, enjoy!
Chapter 13 BELINDA'S POV
Let me tell you one thing. Battles, no matter how cool and impressive they look in the movies, suck. There's no glory, no audience cheering for you, no way to say, oh, she won't die, she's the main character. In a real battle, there are no guarantees. And this, this scared me beyond all reason. Many people who know me would describe me as the bravest person they know. The truth is, I'm just too stupid to admit to anyone (including myself) that I am afraid.
So yes, I was terrified when I tried to distract the troll so that Legolas could kill it, terrified when Amanda screamed by name with fear in her voice, and petrified when I saw its club-like hand flying at me.
The first thing I saw after that was Legolas' face above me. I looked up at him as he hurried through the darkened halls of Mordor.
"I am capable of walking, I hope you know," I said stiffly, shaking my head to clear it. Legolas looked down at me with a small smile.
"Glad to see you are awake. No, you won't be walking. You just got hit on the head, and with your luck you'd walk off a cliff." I stuck my tongue at him, but looked around. We were currently running along the path that led to the bridge which I had fondly nicknamed the bridge of doom after one too many times watching Fellowship of The Rings.
"And you running while carrying me is a better idea?" I asked sarcastically. "I'm not a light person, and we all need to be moving fast."
"I barely notice your weight." I snorted and looked up at him incredulously. "It's an elf thing, and I'm not putting you down yet." I sighed and looked at the others in our group. The hobbits and Amanda were keeping up, assumedly running on Adrenaline. Hopefully, we only had a little further to go.
In what seemed like no time, we were at the bridge, with a Balrog hot on our tail. The movie special effects were nothing like the terror that was the Balrog. I even like fire, and was completely disturbed by this flame-wielding being. Perhaps it was the fact that my life was in danger.
"I must hold the narrow way. Fly!" Gandalf cried, pushing us toward the bridge. Aragorn and Boromir tried to hang back, but Legolas immediately began to cross.
"Hold on," I said softly, fighting to get down. Legolas gently set me on the ground. I swayed briefly, then walked to Aragorn. "This needs to happen. Continue across the bridge." I told him with a glare. I walked to Gandalf and whispered softly in his ear, "I will see you when you return." I smiled at him, and then rushed with the two men across the bridge. On the other side, we watched as Gandalf fought with the hell-borne creature. As the bridge fell, I watched calmly as Gandalf slipped down.
"Fly, you fools," he hissed, before falling into the abyss. I turned away and had to steady myself as the cave swam before my eyes. Legolas picked me up again as the Fellowship minus one escaped from the Mines of Moria.
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"You knew what was to happen, girl." Boromir spat at me after we had made our way out into the sunlight.
"I did," I said softly, hearing gasps from many of the Fellowship members.
"Then why did you let him fall?" he shouted at me, and I flinched away.
"It had to happen. There was nothing I could do to stop it, AND, if I had," I was shouting by this point, "You would probably lose your goddamn war and fail in the quest to destroy the ring. This had to happen." I snapped, my voice lowering to a whisper. "This had to happen." I closed my eyes briefly before pulling away from a shocked Legolas and retreating to a hill not too far away.
Ignoring the people behind me, and the fact that they were probably considering lynching me right the and there, I began assessing my injuries. Head, a little bruised, a few scratches on my arms, nothing new to me. Other than that, I had managed to escape remarkably unscathed.
"We need to move out," I started and looked up at Aragorn. "These hills will be swarming with Orcs before nightfall." I nodded.
"Sure you don't want to just leave me behind so they'll kill me?" I asked bitterly with a small laugh.
"I am saddened by Gandalf's passing, but if you say it will turn for the better, I must believe you." I smiled slightly at him.
"Glad to know someone believes in me. The others?" I asked, not really sure I wanted the answer.
"Boromir had convinced most of the others that you are at fault. Once they recover from their grief…" he trailed off
"Legolas as well?" Aragorn winced, but did not answer. I closed my eyes and held back a few tears.
"Let's get moving. I wouldn't want to get anyone else killed." I finally said, pulling myself together and moving toward the company. I walked to Amanda, who gave me a small smile, but I could not bring myself to return it.
"Murderer," Boromir hissed under his breath at me. I winced and turned away, following Aragorn.
"Belinda, it wasn't.." Amanda began.
"I know, Amanda. I know." We continued in silence into the woods of Lothlórien. I only tried to meet Legolas' eyes once, and was met with a glare of so much loathing that I turned away in shame. This had to happen, why couldn't they understand? Gandalf the grey had to die so that he could come back as Gandalf the white, and save everyone in the last battles. I was so deep in thought that I only noticed my surroundings when an arrow was stuck in my face. I looked up at the elf holding the bow and growled at him.
"You could kill her," Boromir suggested to the surprised elf, "Save us all a bit of trouble." I turned around and decked him, my best uppercut. Once he was on the ground, I towered over him.
"Leave me the fuck alone! You don't have to like my choice, you don't have to like me, just leave me the hell alone! You have no idea how hard this already is for me without you making it harder! You think I enjoy knowing what is going to happen, or that I enjoy watching people plummet over cliffs? Do you? I will tell you right here, I don't, okay. I have enough self-recrimination and hate without your help! Think whatever you bloody feel like, just leave me alone." I turned away from him, letting hot tears roll down my face.
Legolas and the elves had some form of conversation as I sat on the forest floor and calmed myself. By the time we were moving again, I had pulled myself together, and I was pretty sure none but one of the Lothlórien elves had seen me crying. As we walked along I glared at the ground and muttered to myself.
"Why do things like this always happen to me?" I muttered to no one in particular, "I swear my whole life is just one huge goddamn soap opera, and the writers just can't bring themselves to kill off my character. It's we'll transport her to another world and make everyone there hate her. Oh, let's make sure she knows the future of this world! Oh, and let's throw in a few Orcs, a Balrog, goblins, elves, a homicidal maniac. Shake and serve cold, and voila! Belinda's life." By the end, I was ranting and getting some odd looks, so I shut up and followed quietly.
I remained quiet through the walk, the climb, and my cold introduction to Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. It was not until Galadriel spoke that I dared say anything.
"Here there are only ten, eleven were set out. Gandalf the Grey set out with this company, but he did not pass the borders of this land. Now tell us where he is, for I much desire to speak with him." She looked searchingly out at us, but as her eyes met mine, she gave me a small encouraging smile.
"He has fallen, my Lady," I said, as the others looked away. "He met his destiny in a fight with the Balrog of Moria."
"How did this come to be?" Asked Celeborn in disbelief. Aragorn stepped forward and told the full story to them as I slipped backwards, to the shadows of the hall. Aragorn skipped the part where I admitted my foreknowledge, but Boromir was not nearly as kind, interrupting Aragorn to speak.
"This witch, who has the gift of sight, knew he would fall and let him go, telling us it was for the better," he announced. I slid back against a wall, watching Amanda, who looked like she was about to kill Boromir.
"That will be quite enough," Galadriel interrupted Boromir, her voice cool. I quickly remembered that she was the one who could see the future before I was beckoned forward by her. "The gift of the Sight is not only hard to control, but it is also a burden that those who carry it suffer from their entire life." She took my chin in her hand and looked into my eyes. After a second, she looked away. "We will talk more later. For now, rest in our sanctuary. Your wounds will be healed, and we will speak more tomorrow." Dismissed, the fellowship followed one of the elves that had led us here out of the hall and down the stairs, Amanda and I at the back.
"She knows," I told Amanda, "And she accepts. I just wish the others would too."
"Maybe if you told them everything…"
"That's just the thing. I can't tell them everything. If they know what will happen, they will continuously try to change things, until we get to an event line where I can't help at all. Besides, aren't true friends just supposed to trust you?" I sighed bitterly.
"I trust you," Amanda replied, "I trust you with my life. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here."
"Thanks, Amanda. I guess it just hurts when you start trusting someone, and then they turn from you without even hearing your side of the story." I raised my voice slightly so that Legolas could hear me.
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Late that night as we sat under the trees, I could hear music playing and voices raised in song. I sat by the tent I shared with Amanda, looking over at Legolas. Feeling my eyes on him, he looked over, then quickly away. I blinked back a tear, then stood, and walked to his side.
"Answer me this at least. Do you hate me?" I asked him quietly. He didn't look up at me as he spoke.
"You let him fall. You knew he would and you let him go. How can I feel otherwise?" he said in a quiet voice that spoke of conflicting emotions.
"Do you remember a conversation we had not too long ago? I told you that I was afraid, that I felt powerless. You told me to do what felt right and that we would overcome any obstacle. I did what I felt had to be done, and what I feared would happen did. The only ones of you who can look me in the face now are Amanda and Aragorn," I exhaled sharply, and then looked away in the silence that followed. "I'm sorry you feel like that. I won't bother you again." I walked away quickly, returning to my tent and laying down to sleep, trying not to feel incredibly guilty.
A/N: Once again, R&R