13. Bottoms Up!

The ocean wind whipped at my hair as I gazed over the wooden railing. The winds were strong but warm as they pounded my face, continuously drying my tears.

"Lindsey, we will find him, I know it," Will's voice is soft as he places a strong but gentle hand on my shoulder. I turned to face him and forced a smile. He wipes my lingering tears with the back of his index finger and smiled back at me.

"I know we will. I'm just scared what's going to happen when we find him," I reply, gaining my emotional strength back.

"What do you mean?" He asks, his smile slowly turning into a frown. I knew in that moment that he too feared what I feared.

"That when we find Jack, he and Elizabeth are going to be together, Will," I slowly respond.

"Yes, I fear that too; but we mustn't dwell on what we don't know for sure," he says, though still unsure inside.

"All true," I respond with a fake smile. I turn briefly to face to ocean again and Will joins me and my gazing.

"Such nice weather here for March," he says, his eyes fixed on the unknown before him.

"Is it really March?" I ask, my eyes still gazing with his.

"Yes. The eleventh, I believe," he says.

"The eleventh? Really?" I ask, turning to him slowly. He turns toward me and smiles.

"Yes, I believe so. I distinctly remember our first night at Tia Dalma's to be the ninth, and that was two days ago, so yes, it is the eleventh of March," he states.

"Wow, I had no idea it was so close…" I say softly.

"Are you frightened for the Ides of March?" Will asks with a chuckle and a grin across his mouth.

"Oh no! I mean, yes, I love the history of Julius Caesar and Rome and all, but no…I am not scared of the Ides of March…" I reply laughing with him.

"Then what is the big deal about today?" he asks, his smile still glowing.

"It's my birthday," I reply with a shy smile.

"Today! Well that's wonderful!" Will exclaims.

"Thank you! I'm twenty-one today," I say, my expression turning suddenly somber.

"Why so sad? Today is a beautiful day for you!" Will states, putting his hand on my shoulder once more.

"I always imagined my twenty-first birthday to be something incredible—that I would be surrounded by my friends and drinking copious amounts of alcohol at local bars in the city," I reply, nostalgically gazing at the sea.

"Well we can do that here—I mean you are surrounded by drunken pirates!" Will laughs in an attempt to cheer me up.

"Will, where I am from turning twenty-one is important. In the future in the United States, people aren't allowed to consume alcohol legally until they are twenty-one years old—that's why I was always looking forward to this birthday as my chance to finally legally drink alcohol at a bar or club or dinner somewhere," I explain. His face softens as he nods his head in understanding.

"I am terribly sorry that you can't celebrate this day the way you always dreamed of doing so, but I promise you that we will make a celebration this evening so to not disappoint you on this day," Will replies finally. My dark cloud breaks and I smile back at Will.

"Thank you. I'm sure it will be a great time," I say, still smiling at his kind gesture. I then turn my gaze back to the ocean.

"What's wrong now?" Will asks, seeing the anxious expression on my face.

"It would have been nice for Jack to share this day with me," I reply, turning back to Will. Disappointment began spreading across his face, so I quickly fixed myself, "but I'm sure once we find Jack he'll wanna celebrate his own way, if you know what I mean," I laugh, winking at Will. His face lights up with laughter as he catches my sex joke.

"That is true! It's probably a good thing here isn't here then!" Will laughs.

"Yes it is," I hollowly smile, gazing back at the horizon.

"What on Earth have you two been talking for so long about?" Elizabeth asks as she approaches Will and me.

"Today is Lindsey's birthday," Will replies shallowly, casting a long stare out to sea.

"Oh how wonderful!" She exclaims, covering up her readily apparent sadness, "we'll celebrate this evening!"

"Yes, that's what Will said," I reply with a phony smile.

"Lindsey, I don't mean to sound rude, especially on your special day, but could you excuse Will and me for just a moment? I have been needing to speak with him," she says.

"Oh it's no problem. Barbossa is probably gonna kill me soon if I don't hull shit around anyway," I reply, leaving them both by the railing. I walk slowly away from them and towards Barbossa.

"Captain!" I greet him cheerfully, making myself look like I have something to do.

"Lindsey! Crow's nest! I need you to watch out for weather on the horizon. You look like you can do a good job at that," he winks at me, hinting to the fact he knew I had been gazing at the horizon for the past 2 hours anyway.

"Thank you sir!" I reply and quickly begin my ascent to the crow's nest. I look around me and when Barbossa isn't looking, I crouch down and sit cross-legged, my left ear facing Will and Elizabeth so to hear their conversation, but my eyes facing the bow of the ship.

"What's gotten into you, Will? You act as though you hate me!" I hear Elizabeth begin the conversation.

"Ah, bad idea to begin a make-up conversation in an accusatory manner," I say aloud and softly to myself.

"Elizabeth, I don't hate you," Will interjects, his eyes still not looking at her.

"Well you certainly act as though you do," she replies.

"Still accusing!" I say under my breath, shaking my head.

"Well I don't" Will says, his voice getting frustrated.

"Then what is it? You don't talk to me, you are never around me and you never even look at me!" She exclaims, "Look at me, Will!"

He turns sharply toward her and gazes strongly into her eyes. I avert my eyes from the horizon in front of me to the soap opera scene below me to my left. I suddenly felt a shiver rise up my spine at the sight of Will's gaze at Elizabeth.

"How I'd kill for him to gaze at me that intensely," I mummer softly and then stop myself. What did I just think aloud?! No way do I care for Will in that way…

"I saw you kiss Jack," Will admits to her, his voice low and clenched. She steps back from him one step and breaks away from his intense gaze. "I know you kissed Jack and it is exactly that kind of betrayal in our love that makes me question everything," he says finally.

"Ooh good one! Will: 2, Elizabeth: 0" I say softly and excitedly. Suddenly I see Will's eyes glance upward to the crow's nest and where I am sitting. I turn my head towards the bow once more, pretending I can't hear a thing below from their conversation.

"Will, I…" Elizabeth begins.

"There are other women in this world, Elizabeth, who wouldn't betray the trust and honesty of a commitment in love," he says, his eyes softening, "If you truly love Jack, then you should be with him, Elizabeth,"

"Will, I…I…" her voice is choppy and quivering. She can't finish what she intends to say. I glance back over at them below, hoping she says something of worth to Will.

"Well…? Do you love him?" Will finally asks. I am sure he has mustered up every emotional bit of strength within him for this one.

"Will…I…I don't know. Yes, I kissed Jack, but it wasn't because I love him—it was to get him to stay on the Pearl….so the Kraken would take him and the ship," she says finally, her voice shaking.

"But you don't know if you love him or not," Will replies, his voice cold and distant. He turns away from her and watches the skyline before him turn from blue to purple.

"Will, I can't answer that right now," she says her voice slightly hopeful.

"Wrong answer, you stupid bitch," I whisper softly from the crow's nest, shaking my head. I feel bad for Elizabeth and I feel bad for Will. Neither of them should have to go through this circus of emotional swing dancing. And yet, this circumstance is all too familiar to me and my feelings for Jack and his feelings for me. He and I always seem to dance around in a circle, fooling each other's hearts and emotions. Love is nothing but a big tease, I think to myself as I turn back towards the setting sun on the horizon.

"Will, I can't answer that right now" I mimic aloud to myself as I sit in the crow's nest staring bored at the horizon. "What a bitch—the least she can do is give him an answer! If she can't say yes she loves him, then obviously she doesn't and should just say so!" Why am I talked out loud to myself?! I shake my head and close my eyes briefly and then look over the edge of the nest to find where Will and Elizabeth are in their conversation, noticing that I hadn't been paying much attention to them. As I peer over the side, I notice that neither of them are to be seen and my heart drops. Oh God, where did they go? I begin frantically scanning the deck of the ship for either of them, but have no luck.

"Ah!" I vocally exclaim, an anxious feeling building up inside of not knowing how it ended or if it is still continuing below decks.

"Elizabeth doesn't love me anymore," I hear from behind me. I jump at Will's voice, wondering if he saw me checking for them from up above, or worse….if he heard me talking aloud about them. You idiot! That's why you should never speak aloud unless there are others listening intentionally!

"Will! You scared me!" I exclaim, my heart racing.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to. Barbossa sent me up here to watch for weather…I didn't know you were up here!" he says, his voice higher due to confusion.

"Yeah…he sent me up here a little while ago. That's odd…" I say, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe he just forgot you were up here," he replies with a smile and sits across from me.

"So how did it go with Elizabeth?" I ask, grinning inside knowing I know the whole story already.

"She didn't say it, but it's very clear she no longer loves me. She has feelings for Jack," he states.

"Nooo! That's crazy!" I exclaim the way Rachel Green does on the TV show "Friends" when she already knows the answer to a question.

"Yes, it's true. I asked her if she loves Jack and she told me she…"

"Can't give you that answer right now," I blurt out impulsively.

"Yes…how did you…?" Will looks confused but shakes his head.

"Woman's intuition," I reply with a smile, covering up my interjection.

"Yes I suppose. You probably know more about this than I do…although, you are going through it too with Jack!" Will replies.

"Yes, but Jack and I were never supposedly married. I don't recall him every saying word for word 'I love you Lindsey', but yes, it still hurts. But to be honest, I can't say I'm surprised,"

"You can't? Why not?"

"Will, look at them! They crave adventure more than either of us do. I mean, I love piracy and everything, but let's be real here—I'm from 2004…5…6…whatever year it is there now. I'm from the future and I'm gonna tell you—there is minimal adventure there. People go to school their whole lives, get jobs when they graduate from college or grad school or med school or wherever, get married, have kids, grow old and then die. Don't get me wrong—I am loving this life right now because it is something I've never known and it's exciting! But there is minimal adventure like this where I'm from, and well, Jack and Elizabeth crave this kind of life. They seek it out, Will! They look for this kind of stuff. You, on the other hand, seem to be more like me—content with adventure, but secretly crave that easier more thought-out life path with less sword fights and more time for marriage, kids and a life away from the sea,"

"I supposed you're right. But Elizabeth never seemed like this before," he says.

"Are you kidding me?! She's a woman born in their wrong century, Will! She is just dying to get away from the duties of marriage and conformity!"

"You really think so?" Will asks, very entranced by our conversation.

"Yes, Will. I do. She's throwing away a lifetime with you. That says a lot to me about what she values," I reply.

"I never thought of it like that, but it definitely makes sense," he says.

"As for Jack—I have kind of always known that he would never be the type to be in love and do something about it. He'll never marry or do anything or the sort. He's much too independent and in love with piracy to love someone else and be dependable," I say, finally letting go of my heart strings.

"Well I could have told you that!" Will laughs.

"I wish you would have sooner!" I laugh with him.

"Hey, let's start celebrating your birthday! The sun's been gone for some time now," Will states as he points out the darkening sky.

"Good idea! Shall we descend and find some rum?" I ask, an excitement building in my stomach for my birthday drinking festivities.

"You wait here he I'll bring us up some rum," Will says as he stands and descends from the nest.

"Make sure you bring up as much as possible! We're getting shitty tonight!" I exclaim. Will looks up at me and raises a curious eyebrow.

"It's an expression…" I reply

"I figured," he laughs as he continues downward.

Moments later, I hear Will climbing up to the nest. I peer over the edge and see him with about 4 bottles of rum. I reach over and grab two bottles for him. When he climbs over and finally sits down, I shake my head.

"How do you do that?" I ask in astonishment.

"Do what?" he asks, pulling the plug on one of the bottles.

"Climb up a crow's nest with four bottles of rum!" I exclaim, gesturing to the bottles.

"What can I say? I'm skilled," he laughs as he opens another bottle for me. I laugh and take the bottle from him. He grabs his bottle and holds it up in the air.

"A toast for you—to your twenty-first birthday and twenty-one years of living—for getting the unique opportunity to meet you and to a wonderful future…whatever it may bring!" Will says classily.

"Bottoms up!" I exclaim with a smile. We clank bottles and drink.