A/N: Once again, two updates in one day, but that is the only way we can update for now. Sorry loyal readers.

Chapter 15- Belinda's POV

I went to bed that night shaking. From anger, from fear, from total inconsolable sadness. Thing like this always seemed to happen to me. I couldn't trust anyone, because everyone always let me down. For a long time I just lay in bed with my face pressed to my makeshift pillow to conceal my tears. I ran through an old but familiar mantra in my head: I was worthless, I didn't deserve anyone, I only hurt people, and everyone would be better off without me. I knew it wasn't true, but recently I hadn't found much proof otherwise. After a few hours of me lying in the darkened tent, I heard a rustle as the tent flap opened.

"Amanda?" I asked quietly, trying to sound as normal as possible.

"Actually, it's Legolas," I let silence fill the tent for a few seconds before finally asking,

"What do you want? Come to destroy me some more?" I choked back a small sob, "Haven't I suffered enough?" My voice had hardened considerably as I asked this, and I turned away from him, toward the tent wall

"Belinda, I… I'm sorry." I heard him exhale heavily, then sit down on the ground behind my back. "Sorry that I listened to Boromir, sorry I didn't try to hear your side first, sorry that I didn't see how much this was hurting you." He lit the lantern, illuminating the tent.

"It's understandable. After all, you have known Gandalf longer than me. I just…I just thought that maybe you trusted me more than that. Or at least knew me well enough to know that I would never let a good man truly die while I just stood by. He's a bloody wizard, for God's sake! They don't go down so easily! And don't ever believe that someone's dead until you see the body!" I began to sob as I ranted, choking on the words I spoke.

"What have I done to you?" Legolas asked softly, drawing back slightly, his clothes rustling. "I didn't bother to ask, I just assumed. I was wrong, I was very wrong. I understand if you are mad at me…"

"Mad at you?" I hiccupped, turning toward him finally. "And why should I be mad at you? I destroy people, it's probably better you hate me."

"Don't you believe that for one minute." Legolas said firmly, kissing my tear-stained cheek. "You are an amazing person. You're always aware of those around you, always so in control. And together, we're going to get through this. I promise I won't ever doubt you again. I will always ask, will always listen when you say you have a reason. I'm going to stand by you, and you're stuck with me." I looked up at him, and slowly realized that he meant what he said. I threw my arms around him.

"Thank you." Legolas held me to his chest for a few minutes, before pulling away and looking at my arms.

"What happened?" he asked, in an almost accusatory manner, examining a few of the cuts.

"I think that's what happens when you have a run-in with a cave troll. Don't worry; my head took the brunt of the impact. Good thing it is so hard." I laughed slightly, and then looked him straight in the eye. "I didn't make these. I promise." Legolas nodded and ran a hand over my head, feeling for a bump.

"Why didn't you go get these treated?" he asked.

"People are more likely to poison me than heal me at this point. I'll be remembered as 'the girl who let Gandalf fall over a cliff.'"

"Better that then 'the boy who caused his best friend's death.'" Startled, my eyes snapped up to his face. Legolas sighed and moved closer to me, pulling me to a sitting position on his lap. "You asked me once why I hated caves so much, and I told you I had nothing against them."

"But you were lying." I said quietly. Legolas nodded.

"When I was young, only a small child, my best friend and I went exploring and found a small cave mouth. His name was Galan. Galan didn't want to go into the cave, but I convinced him it would be fun. We went in and began to explore. There was a cave-in. He… he didn't make it." Legolas took a heavy breath. "Everyone said it wasn't my fault, that there was nothing I could do, but I could see it in their eyes. I had decided to go in, I had convinced him, I had survived." For a moment I thought, realized how I would feel if I led Amanda into something like that. I thought how I would feel if she was gone. I looked up at him and put my arms around him, drawing him closer to me.

"It's like losing part of your soul, isn't it." I asked. "I can only imagine, but losing Amanda, that would destroy me completely. How do you go on?"

"It's hard." Legolas replied, "I still think of him almost every day. When I don't, I feel guilty, like I'm forgetting him." I ran a hand down the side of his face.

"Go ahead and cry. Sometimes you just have to let it all out." I told him softly, stroking his hair. I watched as slowly, tears formed and fell down his cheeks. "Galan may have died, but you still carry a part of him with you. He would have wanted you to be happy. I know because I spent years considering suicide, and every time I did, I thought of what Amanda would do. I wanted her to live, to be happy. I'm sure that Galan would have wanted the same for you."

"I know. Some days are hard, though." I pulled him down with me so that we were both lying on my bedroll with me cuddled on his chest.

"Stay with me tonight." I whispered, "We both need to be held, to feel, to find some way to know that everything will be okay. Otherwise, neither of us will find sleep tonight."

"And Amanda?" He asked quietly.

"She'll either come in here and sleep on her bed, or will drag her bed out of here and berate me tomorrow. I'm not too concerned, I think she'll understand that sometimes you just need someone for comfort. I lost it today, and I'm only just beginning to pick up the pieces."

"She was most…displeased with me earlier. I have her to thank, again, for opening my eyes to how much I have hurt you." Legolas looked down at me and kissed my forehead. "I seem to hurt you a lot, and not realize it until it is almost too late."

"Don't worry about it. It is hard to tell when I'm hurting. The only reason she can tell is because she's known me for over ten years. Just try not to do it again. Watching you turn from me hurt more than I ever imagined it could."

"I won't, I promise. I won't." With this, he reached over and snuffed the lamp, and I quickly fell asleep.

A/N: Next chapter will be Boromir and me... –grins evilly- This gives me a reason to update faster, doesn't it? -ANL-