Sam sat down and looked at Kara, straight in the eye and told her everything that he'd been involved in from the moment she'd been take from him almost five months before. Things that he wasn't proud of, some that he was, some that he'd like to forget. "I went a little crazy. I didn't know if you were alive or dead. I hoped and prayed that you were alive and I felt in my heart of hearts that you were still alive." Sam said very softly holding onto her hand the whole time.
What Sam told her, she was a little upset, glad and disappointed at the same time with him . But who could blame him? If somehow their positions down on New Caprica were switched, where he was the prisoner and she was the resistance leader. She would have done the same things Sam did. "Sam it's okay. I'm not going to judge you on your actions from New Caprica. It was crazy down there. Though I would have liked it if you found me sooner, but that's okay," she shrugged her shoulders. "We have to get what we can now for the future and the best way to do that is to be honest with one another." She scooted to the edge of her chair and looked into his azure blue eyes. She laced her fingers in his and squeezed his hand. "I love you Sam. I don't know what I would do without by my side every single day. I need you there, front and center, more than ever. For the rest of my life."
"I'm laying my soul bare before you Kara. I've no more secrets, no barriers this is who I am Kara. I'm the man in love with a warrior and Viper pilot. I'll always be here for you Kara, always. I only want to put the last year behind us and start over. A new life with you as my one and only love," he said pushing her bangs out of her face.
Kara smiled and cleared her throat. They were finally talking about the future. "I don't want to put the entire last year behind us, just the past four and half months. A lot of good things happened last year. But completely starting over is not happening. We just need to refresh a couple of things. We need to turn back time and gain those four months that we lost."
"I want to someday, not right away, have a child. A beautiful little girl more beautiful than Kacey, a little girl that looks just like her mother." Sam said with his heart in his eyes. Where did that come from? The thought of seeing Kara pregnant, having his children had been in his mind for awhile.
Kara got up from her chair and sat in Sam's lap. "Are you serious on wanting a child?" Her hazel eyes searched his azure blue ones. "Just being with Kacey those few days made me want to become a mother. But I can't give you a child Sam. I still want to have a child with you, but we both know I can't conceive but that doesn't mean we can't try. I would be a miracle if I could give you a child," she kissed his forehead and ran her fingers through his dark hair. "But from what Cottle told us on New Caprica that it wasn't possible."
Anders laid his head in his wife's shoulder, breathing in her fresh scent. "Everything is possible. I do want a child Kara, but I know that now isn't the time. Things as still too crazy and with you thinking about Adama's offer to get back in the cockpit... I won't take that away from you. When we start a family, I want it to be in a stable place. I want us to have a real home," Sam said then he sighed. "I don't know if there really is a place out there for us that is completely safe. I don't want to make decisions that will impact your life and career. I want us to make those kinds of things together. But no matter what Kara, the most important thing is that we love each other."
"Sam there is much more to me than flying. You know that. If I do rejoin the fleet, there are things that I can do without putting my life in danger. I don't even know if I want to jump back in my Viper. What if something went wrong and I didn't make it back home?" She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Sam, how long are we going to wait? Earth could be years away from us. I don't think we can wait that long to start a family. Galactica is the safest place that we have right now. We can make this work, I know we can."
"As I said babe, it's something that we need to decide together. I know that you're more than a pilot, but you and I are of a kind. We do need action. I don't want you to resent me for taking your freedom away from you. If this is something that you want to do then I'm more than willing to try right now, but it's a lifetime commitment sweetheart. I only want to be sure that it's something that we both want."
"Well let's talk about it and we will figure out something. You seem to want it and I want it. You worry about me to much sweetie. I would be more than happy to take another small break from the military and risking my life in my Viper. I'll just put myself on non-active duty." She swallowed hard, "I can even go to flying Raptors around the fleet. I know it's a lifetime commitment. It's not something you can make then have it thrown on the back burner and forgotten about. You aren't going to take my freedom away if we did decide to do this."
She tilted his head up to hers and smiled. She searched his blue eyes, seeing his emotions flash in his eyes. "And since we are on the topic of careers, what are you going to do? You need action. I can't image you sitting in this room, day after day waiting on something to do."
"A career? I don't know. I can't see having professional Pyramid teams now and that is all I know. I'm not a trained soldier but I think I did pretty well when we had no choice." That was another thing on Sam's mind and had been for the last year. What was he going to do with his life? How to support his wife and eventual family if Kara could somehow conceive?
Kara broke Sam's train of thought as she placed her soft lips on his, she kissed him. Which led on to other things that she did with him.
Two weeks went by without a single sign from the Cylons. Its been almost four weeks since the exodus of New Caprica. Things were beginning to look normal again and settled back down for once on Galactica. Lately Kara had noticed that she felt a little sick in the morning but once she started moving around she felt better. There were a few times she ran to the bathroom to throw up last night's dinner. Thinking that it was just bad food from dinner and didn't think about it after that.
Kara always got up early and did her morning run before Sam woke up. She would run about two laps around the ship which took her on average about 30 minutes to do if the corridors weren't crowded with people. Most of the time when she ran, she thought of things that needed to be done with her and Sam. One of the things lately was what Sam was going to do around the ship.
Hot, sweaty, and out of breath she ran to her shower and jumped in. She took a rather quick shower and walked up slowly to Sam on their bed. Sam was once again still asleep when she finished, so she woke him like she always did every morning. She placed her lips on his, ran her fingers down his chest until he smiled and kissed her back. "Hey there stranger," she laughed and broke the kiss. "I've finally got it!"
"Hey there beautiful. You got what, Kara?" Sam replied with a blank and sleepy face.
"Why didn't I think about this earlier? The Old Man would say yes to it. If he doesn't then he's crazy. Sam… the Marines! Adama lost a lot of his marines on New Caprica. And I over heard that he was looking for new recruits. Even though you haven't had the training for it, you sure have proven it. Tigh and the Chief could put in a good word for you. Frak Sam, you staged the whole rescue mission, if that doesn't prove it, I don't know what will."
"The marines? Oh no babe, I'm not cut out to be a grunt," Sam shook his head. "I only lead the resistance because someone had to do it. I'm not a natural leader and I don't particularly like the person I was turning into when I thought I'd lost you. I'm not the kind of person that gets a kick out of fighting."
Kara shrugged her shoulders. "Well Sam, I'm fresh out of ideas. Something will come up, but there is something that you said that isn't true. You are a natural leader. You were the former Captain of the Caprica Buccaneers. And if you didn't think that you could be a leader then you wouldn't have started that resistance on Caprica." She swallowed hard and looked into his sapphire eyes. "Then we would have never met. Think about that! You would still be stuck on that wasteland planet or dead if you didn't think you were a leader. But I'm done preaching." She sat back up about to leave the bed.
As Kara rose Sam grabbed her hand. "Wait, Kara." She looked back at him and he pulled her back down on to the bed. He raised the covers of the bed over her and drew her into his arms. "Would it change us?" He asked after a moment of silence.
"Would what change us?" She asked.
"If I entered the Marines. I don't want there to be any conflict for you."
"I'm not a Marine, Sam, there wouldn't be a conflict," she replied.
Sam suddenly smiled. A genuine smile that reached his blue eyes. "And if there was a conflict?" He asked.
"Then that conflict would have to be settled some how." A huge ear-to-ear grin came across Kara's face. "If you started it, I would have to take you over my knee and punish you in ways you wouldn't believe. But like I said, I doubt there would be any conflict." Kara ran her fingers through his dark hair and down his neck. "But could you take orders from your wife if some how I was put in charge?"
"Ah hah! I knew that there was a reason you wanted me to get into the military! So you could order me around since I'd be some lowly private or something. You'd like that wouldn't you Starbuck?" He asked calling her by her callsign as he did when she was getting too military on him. "You'd love that wouldn't you?" He pulled her closer against his chest.
Kara raised an eyebrow. "Took you long enough to figure that out. You caught me red handed. You ruined my perfect plan," she laughed. She tilted her head slightly and grinned. "You better believe I would love it."
"And what kind of orders would you give me?" He asked huskily.
She leaned in and kissed him for a few moments. "My orders? I would order you to slowly take off your uniform now, kiss me and hold me forever. And I order you to do this every night, no matter what we put each other through."
Sam glanced down at what he wore. "Um, I'm not wearing a uniform," he said grinning. In fact he was only wearing a tank top and boxers. "I would gladly comply with your orders, but who would be in charge when we're not on duty? Would you allow me to order you about? Would you let me tell you to grab the rails with both your hands and not let go while I make love to you?" He asked kissing her slowly as he talked.
"I guess you could be in charge when we are off duty," she said as she made a pouty face but then quickly smiled again. "I'll grab the rails, scream and moan, I'll say your name over and over again, whatever you order me to do I have to expect it and follow it. I won't be an insubordinate officer with you in charge." Sam turned onto his back and brought Kara on top of him.
Her hand found the hem of his tank top and slowly began to pull it up. Sam drew her down to him and kissed her deeply. "Mmm… you know how to get my attention," he murmured as she pushed his shirt up higher.
"Now let's see just how well you obey orders. Grab the rail Anders," she said straddling his hips.
"Aye, aye Captain," Sam complied with her request.
Kara slowly and lightly ran one of her hands over Sam's bare stomach and chest while the other one removed his shirt. She bent down and placed light kisses on his chest. "Now listen carefully. This is your mission if you choose to accept," she said as she spoke through his chest. She went on about how she wanted this to run like. "I want nothing less, but I could always receive more. I love surprises." She smiled. "Now Private let's see if we can't promote you to Lieutenant by tonight." Sam's hands loosed the rail, but Kara reminded him that he wasn't to let go. "That will cost you Private," she said in a husky, seductive voice that sent ripples of desire down through Anders' body.
"Oh? And what kind of price am I to pay for that violation?" He asked. His hard stomach contracting as her long hair slid over the sensitive surface as her lips grazed and her teeth nipped at his flesh.
"I'm still thinking about it and you don't get to asks questions. I do all of the talking," she said seriously. "Welcome to your first day boot camp. I hope you like it. It's going to be hard, tough, exhausting, and draining" she mumbled through his skin. "You'll be lucky if you can walk tomorrow." She laughed and started to kiss his torso. She left a trail of kisses from his chest all the way to his neck. Her hands we busy at work with his boxers. Her mind was in a different place, one that she loved to visit. She was sort of daydreaming as she tugged on Anders' boxers about to rip them off of his body. But she was interrupted by the PA system and Sam was just beginning to enjoy their game.
Attention, pass the word to Capt. Anders. Capt. Anders, please report to CO's quarters.
Kara sat up straight and looked at Sam. "What?! No!... Not now… Why?" She asked irritably as she slammed her fists on the bed and got off of Sam.
Sam let go of the bedrail and sat up taking his frustrated wife in his arms and tipping her face up to his. "Go on babe and see what's happening. I should go see about what I need to do about joining your Marines. Tonight you can continue where we left off." He said huskily as he kissed her hard and fast leaving no doubt in her mind just what he wanted to do.
She threw on her gray sweat jacket and zipped it up. She checked herself in the mirror making sure she was presentable. She opened the hatch and turned down the corridor to Adama's quarters. What did he want this time? She turned the last corner and came up to his door. Raising her hand to knock on it, it opened and the person standing there holding the door was the last person she wanted to see. "Lee... what are you doing here? Never mind. Could you move out of my way?!" He scooted aside and she walked passed him. Adama was sitting at his desk.
Kara cleared her throat, "You wanted to see me, Sir?"
"Do you have my answer? I have given you weeks to think about it?" He said as he got up from his desk.
"I do have your answer, Sir. Where's my flight suit?" Adama smiled as she answered.
Anders went looking for whoever it was that he would need to talk to about doing something around the fleet. He wasn't about to sit on his ass especially if Starbuck was going to go back to flying, and he was certain that she was. Like him, she was just too restless not to do something. He didn't want to have to go see Tigh... he'd heard that Adama wasn't too happy with him and he wasn't sure if going to see the Old Man himself was the thing to do. So instead he sought out the Chief. After a long talk that gave Sam more to think about he returned to his quarters, his face expressionless when he entered but there was a twinkle in his cobalt blue eyes. He sat down on the bed waiting for Kara to return. Minutes went by and he decided to take a nap while it was quiet for once. Plus this would give him time to gain his strength for Kara. Since she was about to hop on top of him early this morning and he just couldn't resist her when she did that.
"Your stuff is in storage in the small locker-storage room in the hanger deck. I couldn't bear to throw it away. I placed them in some boxes; they have your name on it. It's good to have you back Starbuck, you're dismissed." Adama went back to his work. Kara saluted and walked down the corridors to the hanger deck. In the hanger deck she walked passed Apollo, Kat, Racetrack and many others. All of them curious on what she was doing down here in the first place.
She walked up to the hatch of the locker room and pulled it open, searching for her boxes. With in fives minutes the organized locker-storage room was a mess; but she finally found her boxes. There were just two of them, both small. She opened one of the boxes and on top was her old knife. She heard a voice, one that she was hoping to forget. She scanned the room but he wasn't in here with her. She heard him again this time louder. Leoben popped into her mind, and the voice came back again.
"Did you think you can leave me like that Kara?" Leoben's voice asked.
"Stop it! Leave me alone!" She felt something touching her neck and arm.
"I will find you again Kara and you will be mine."
Kara closed the box, picked it up, left the room and quickly continued on her way back to her quarters. Dozens of eyes were staring at her as she left.
Sam woke up from his nap when he heard his stomach. He went to the mess hall to grab some food for him and Kara for he suspected that she really hadn't had much of a chance to eat properly. Come back to their room, he sat the small offering on the small table in their quarters and then sat down to wait for Kara to return. She arrived a short time later, but she looked worried, pre-occupied.
Kara?" He asked softly as he took hold of her boxes and placed them on the ground next to him. Then he grabbed hold of her hand to draw her into his lap. "What is it babe?"
Kara sat down in Sam's lap, and stared down at her hands before she looked up at him. "It happened again, this time out of the middle of nowhere. I thought I was over it, I haven't had one in a week." She placed her head on his shoulder and took his hand into hers. "I was just going through a box and I heard him. It was like he was there in the room, but I knew he couldn't have been there. I felt something touch me and I got the frak out of there as fast as I could..."
"It's okay Kara. Leoben is no where on this ship. You know that."
Kara looked down at the table and saw a small tray of food. "Is that for me? You're so thoughtful." She couldn't remember the last time she ate or what she did eat. "Did you eat already?" He nodded and she reached over and pulled the tray closer and smelt it. "Smells good. Did you..." She pushed the tray away and placed her hand over her mouth. "I... I think I'm going to be sick."
"Kara?" Sam was startled at just how quickly she ran into their small in-suite bathroom. He heard her retching, his heart going out to her yet he was powerless to do anything. "Babe you okay?" He asked through the door.
"I'm fine," she replied.
"Babe open the door and let me in please," he heard her get up from the floor, flushed the toilet. When she opened the door her face was pale, shined with sweat and she was shaky. "Here Kara, lie down sweetie. You're just on edge babe. I'm going to take care of you. It's going to be okay." He brought her over to their bed and helped her in.
"I'm fine Sam like I said earlier. It was probably from dinner last night."
"For the pass two weeks that's been your same excuse. What's really going on?" He knelt next to her, his blue eyes worried. He had noticed that Kara had lost a lot of weight since the Cylons arrived on New Caprica and she wasn't gaining any of it back because right after she ate she would throw it right up.
"I don't know. I have been thinking about a lot of things that happened to me down on New Caprica."
"After what you went through Kara, I think it's normal to have this kind of reaction when something triggers a memory." He said even through he really hadn't a clue what he was going on about. He only wanted to comfort her and let her know that he'd always be there for her. "But it's okay."
Sure she would have flashbacks and horrible memories of the torture she was put through for four months, but something didn't add up. "It's not okay." Kara bit down on her lower lip and looked at Sam kneeling beside her. "I think its just from me being all stressed out. I'm also..." she was going to tell him that she was also late, thinking that stress was doing that to her body but and another wave of nausea hit her before she could tell him.
Feeling a little hot, sweaty and crappy, Kara got as comfortable as she could get in their bed. She rubbed her stomach over the blanket of the bed, which she felt more nauseous now that she was lying down. She was about to sit up in the bed, but she became more nauseous by just slightly moving. She placed her hand back over her mouth again and took in a deep breath. She gasp as she realized than she forgot to mention that she was back in the fleet. "Baby, I'm so sorry don't be mad. I forgot to tell you, I took Adama's offer. I'm back flying Vipers again." Kara held out her hand to Sam. He took it and kissed it sweetly. "I'll see Doc Cottle first thing tomorrow to see what's going on with me." With her other hand she stroked the side of his face. Looking down at the bed and then back up at Sam she softy whispered in his ear. "Join me? You look tried babe."
"Ah sweetheart," Sam breathed as he joined her, holding her close against his chest. He didn't like to think of his brave and beautiful wife ill. "And don't worry about me being angry. I knew you were going to rejoin the moment we were rescued. How could you not? And I guess I'll just have to get used to you bossing me around for I've decided to take your suggestion and join the Marines."
"I'm not going to boss you around, Sam." Kara rolled her eyes before she turned on her side to look at him. "Wait… what? Are you really joining?" She asked. Sam nodded back to her. "I could put in the word to start you off as lieutenant instead of some low rank private. You don't deserve to start off that low. I won't allow it! And if they do start you off that low it's not going to last, for I outrank most of the Marines now and I will promote you myself!" She had to clam herself back down before she lost it in their bed. She placed her hand back over her stomach and rubbed it to clam it down.
Anders chuckled as he rubbed her stomach with her and looked back up at her worried about her being sick like this. "As much as I appreciate that my love, somehow I don't think that would be very fair. And how would it look to have my wife promote me and her not even in the same branch? No, I've already talked to them and I was assured that I'd be coming into it after some intensive training as a lieutenant." He said worry still in his blue eyes.
"Oh… intensive training, uh?" Kara grinned. "They better not work you to hard. So when do you start? I'll supervise." She flashed another grin across her face before she let out a yawn. She snuggled up close to Sam, wrapping her arm around him and placing her head on his chest. "I don't want to sit in my cockpit for ten hours. Do you know how boring that is? Well… it's better than flying a Raptor, so I guess I can't complain there."
Kara lay in her bed and stared up at the ceiling as she rubbed her stomach trying to clam it down so she could sleep. She felt as if she were under a constant threat. As if something had just crawled into her mind and was lying there, festering and trying to undermine her belief in herself and her strength. She looked back over at Sam who had fallen asleep on his side facing away from her. She snuggled up to him, spooning him, gathering the warmth that was coming off of him. I'm just paranoid. There is no one out to get me. Okay... that's not true. All the things that prey on me during the day are haunting me at night now. But I am stronger than that. Stronger and better.
At that moment, her alarm clock went off. She jolted slightly by the noise. She might have gotten two-three hours of sleep. She walked into the bathroom & attended to the normal aspects of her morning ablution. Removing what little clothing she still had on, and stepped into the shower, mindful of the need to keep it brief as she had to be at the pilot ready room in twenty minutes. Get in, get cleaned off, and get out. To bad Sam is still sleeping or this morning shower would be better.
Something felt wrong all of a sudden. She lowered her hands from shampooing her hair and looked at them. She assumed she was looking at thick residue from brown water. Then she realized that it was a distinctly different tint. Her hands were red. Dark red. Blood red. At first she thought there was something wrong with her shampoo. Then she looked down. Her eyes widened in horror. Blood was pouring down her body, cascading down her and swirling down the drain. Then that's when she noticed it.
The blood coming from the showerhead turned back into water. "It's going to be an amazing child Kara." Leoben said as he stood in the corner of the shower. "I told you that you have a destiny to fulfill," he pointed to her stomach as he walked up to her. "I'll be waiting for you after the child is born," he pulled her into him and kissed her and then walked out of the shower. "I'll be coming for you and my child."
Kara slammed against the far wall of the shower and looked up. Once again blood was gushing from the showerhead. She grabbed the handle of the shower door, but it didn't open. She jiggled the handle again, nothing. Kara finally screaming in full voice and pounded on the glass of shower door. "Sam! SAM! Get me out of here!"