Sweet girlfriend of mine, chapter 5

Lilly stayed silent for a moment, staring at the picture. Nothing was showing on her face, no affect. She just stared. Miley was watching her, worried about her reaction.

''Erm, Lilly?'' she called her. ''You're okay?''

Lilly slowly turned to her.

''yes, I'm good. It's no big deal. I mean, it's just a picture of me kissing you...'' Lilly shrugged.

Miley was stunned. She expected anything but that. Lilly was cool, no panic, no fear, no anger, no nothing!

''Just a picture? Just... a ... picture ?!'' Miley repeated, stressing every word. ''How can you not be mad about that? It's our life! It's our relationship! It was supposed to be a secret!''

''Well we would have come out eventually...'' Lilly noticed.

''Eventually! Yes! That's the word! Eventually ! Which implies a degree of uncertainty! Which implies we could have NOT said anything !''

Miley was the one who was freaking out, not Lilly.

''Miley... what's going on ?'' Lilly said, with a concerned voice. ''What's the big deal?''

''The big deal is that there is a picture of us making out, all over the high school, cellphones and who knows where else, and I don't like it! I can't believe how cool you are with that.

''I thought we talked about that...I thought you were fine with us...I thought you kind of accepted what we had. You told me that like a minute ago!'' Lilly noticed.

''Well... I... I lied !'' Miley finally let out.

Lilly stayed silent. She wasn't shocked, or even surprised. It was too predictable. However, she couldn't help but be mad. She managed to stay calm. No need to make a scandal at school especially with their situation. She just needed to cool down, before she could say something she would regret.

''We'll talk about that later.'' Lilly said a few seconds later. She walked away, passed the picture and stopped. She looked back and forth at Miley and the poster. She finally ripped it off; like Miley did the first time. She glanced a last time at her and put it in the trash can.

''Here you go, Miley !''

''Wow, Lilly seems really mad.'' Oliver said, behind Miley. He had seen what happened between the girls, but didn't intervene.

Miley didn't respond. She was mad too. She was mad at Lilly because she had thrown away the poster as a symbol of her relationship. She was mad because she had no right to be angry at Lilly because she was the one who started everything. She was mad because she couldn't handle the situation. She was mad because she had all these wrong feelings. And she was mad because, somewhere in herself, she knew it was the beginning of the end. An end that she provoked.

Miley finally walked to her class, leaving a confused Oliver.

''Aaah, girls...'' He groaned.

Miley was on her bed trying to concentrate on her math assignment, but she couldn't. She kept seeing this poster, she kept seeing Lilly throwing it away. The worst part was she didn't know why this bothered her so much. She wanted that in a way. Lilly just acted out Miley's feelings.

Someone knocked on her bedroom door.

''Yeah ?''

''It's Lilly.''

Lilly? What was she doing here? Miley stoop up and opened the door. Lilly was there, a concerned but somewhat upset look on her face. She looked like she had cool down.

''I think we should talk.'' She said. Miley let her in.

She sat on her bed, while Lilly stayed up. She didn't speak, waiting for her to start.

''The poster thing, is that why you've been all weird?'' Lilly asked.

''Yeah... It was on my locker too yesterday.''

''And you didn't want to tell me... why is that? I mean, it concerned me too. We could have worked it all out.

''I didn't tell you because... Because of Jane.''

''Jane?'' Lilly shrugged. ''What does she has to do with it ?''

''I thought that if you knew people were again talking about us, spreading rumors, you couldn't handle it. I didn't want you to get hurt.''

Lilly had a small laugh.

''But I got hurt Miley. Not by the other students, or by the poster, but by you. You're the one who hurt me.''

Miley looked at Lilly. Yes, she could see Lilly's pain, even if she was trying to hide it.

''I'm sorry.'' She just whispered.

''Sorry is not enough sometimes...''

They stayed silent for a while. Lilly was next to the window, turning her back from Miley.

''The hardest part is not the fact that the school knows about us, it's not the gossiping either. The hardest part is your attitude when you learned that we were out.'' Lilly added.

''I was scared Lilly! I was scared that people would judge us! Me!''

''It's high school! You're judging every day! Since when you're worried about what others can think about you?!'' Lilly said, raising her voice.

''This is not just a stupid high school thing. It's important to me. It's who I am.'' Miley pleaded.

''Well, it seems like you don't like who you are... You're rejecting your identity. You don't want to be who you are. And by doing this, you're rejecting me too...'' Lilly said, calmer.

Miley didn't respond. She stayed silent once again.

''Miley, do you really wanna be with me?'' She heard Lilly ask.

''I want to be.'' She stopped for a second and added : ''But I can't.''

Lilly nodded. She never had imagined a couple days ago she would have this conversation with Miley. What happened to them? Everything had disintegrated so quickly. She sighed, and sat on Miley's chair.

''So, I guess that's it...'' Lilly said after a few minutes of complete silence.

''Yeah, I guess it is.''

''I can't believe it...''

Miley couldn't believe it either. But for now, it seemed the right choice.

''I just can't do that right now, Lilly. Maybe after some time.''

Lilly let out a small laugh. ''yeah, right...Just send me a note...'' She said, sarcastic.

''You know what I mean... I need time.''

''Well, take your time, but I'm not gonna wait for you. I love you to death Miley, but I don't wanna spend my time waiting for you to be ready...''

''But I love you Lilly!''

''Yes, you show me that this last couple of days...''

Miley didn't reply. Lilly was right, once again.

''I better go. I'll see you at school. Bye Miley.''

''Bye.''

Lilly left, and Miley crawled down her bed. She had mixed feeling. On one hand she was sad and hurt because she had lost Lilly, the girl she could never stop to love. But on the other hand, she felt relieved. Yes, relief was what she was feeling...like if her relationship with Lilly was a burden.

Lilly was walking down the street. So, here she was. Miley and she had once again broke up. It wasn't like the first time though (A/N: See ''Miley, Lilly and Hannah''). This was more serious, and she felt like there was no way back to their relationship. They were back to being friends.

Whose fault was it? Miley's? Hers? The poster? Yeah, the person responsible for the picture was responsible for their break up. Without her or him, Miley would have had time to process their relationship, she would have never start to question what they had, and they would have figure everything out together. Without this poster, there would still be Liley. Without this poster, Lilly would still feel happy. Without this poster, Lilly would still feel complete.

Lilly didn't know what her future with Miley will be, however, she knew something for sure. She was going to find the person who threw her life away, and make him/her pay.